Returning from India. Together with father in law and mother in law. Reached Dubai. Sitting in Business Lounge. Watching the two in laws argue.

I got myself a glass of wine. My MIL immediately jumped on me – Did you not have one in the plane? I confirmed that and reminded her that I had one before getting on the plane too 🙂

Then my FIL joined in complaining that MIL did not allow him to drink a glass of white wine in the plane. MIL is claiming that she stopped him from drinking the second glass. FIL is insisting that he did not have any. MIL is pointing out that she saw the lady come and pour. FIL is retorting that initially she put an empty glass down 🙂

All this, without Sharmila being anywhere near to join in the fray. This is going to be an awesome summer for me!!!

That is my father in law. He heard from his daughter that we get deer in our property. Ever since early morning, he has been sitting by the window with tea waiting for one measly little deer to show up… 😉

In American culture, I am told by my American friends that “relaxing ” and “inlaws” are rarely found in the same sentence 🙂

Relaxing on a Sunday afternoon by the pool with some old “Anurodher Asar” Bengali songs with my inlaws…

So far we are 3 for 11 in terms of recognizing the old singers. My mother in law is blaming the sound speakers for that 🙂

I moved to this city back in 2007. One of the first things I did was look for a running group. Thru Google (what else?), I found out about Windward Road Runners group. Joined them promptly and among many other friends I made was Samantha Taylor. I remember how funny she was and how she always left after coffee at 6:20 to get to her preschool where she was a teacher.

Ever since, we have run into each other during runs, during races and once even talked about a professional gig she was starting.

Roll forward from that day in 2007 by 7 years. This afternoon, her daughter Madeline told her “I am scared of how to draw Natasha’s 16th birthday card – her mom is a professional artist!”. And Samantha went “Wait a minute, your friend Natasha Roy has a mom who is a professional artist? What is her dad’s name?”

And as she told us the story when she came to drop her daughter for our daughter’s birthday, I found out that the Madeline who is my running buddy’s friend is the same Madeline from school that Natasha keeps talking about!!!

I missed that intersection point completely so far!!! Is that cool or us that cool?

For the first time, my MIL has been able to shake off her jet lag. She came into the kitchen early at 6 am as Sharmila and I were sipping coffee and chatting softly. The first thing MIL did was start complaining about “Kaal-ke tor baba khub-se tenechhe” meaning, “last night your dad (referring to FIL) had too much to drink”. For the first time this trip, she woke up before FIL. And she immediately started complaining that he is sleeping too much. And that alcohol is to be blamed 🙂

Sharmila, of course, had to protest (not sure why she cannot just hang back and observe and have fun)! First thing she pointed out was that MIL slept for a solid four hours the previous evening. Maybe that is why she got up early. MIL’s response was classic  – FIL slept even more the previous evening. Sharmila pointed out that the three of us were in the backyard for a clear two hours before MIL strolled in the last evening. MIL claimed that she was lying down most of the time – not sleeping. And in any case, FIL went to sleep before her. Further, she pointed out that FIL was snoring and sleeping uncontrollably due to all the drinks we three had last evening.

Sharmila missed another golden chance. Instead of baiting her mother a little longer, she blurted out – “But dad did not even have anything to drink last night. Rajib gave him some wine. But I had to have it since he did not touch it”. MIL looked at her for some time, decided that she was indeed telling the truth and finally settled down with her cup of tea. The “gojgoj kora” had stopped 🙂

And in all this commotion of arguments and counterarguments between mother and daughter, my FIL woke up and walked into the kitchen half sleepy wondering what the heck was happening 🙂

It is awesome fun to watch this family from a distance 🙂

A couple of days back, I was making coffee for Sharmila and the inlaws and observed something. First, as a background, my FIL has great intellectual curiosity and has the most open mind to learning new things among my parents and the inlaws. And he is the eldest of them all!

I had set the milk carton down to fix Sharmila’s coffee. My FIL read up everything written on the carton box and then pointed the part that I have attached a photo of explaining to my MIL – “Taar maaney je goru-ke antibiotic khaoano hoini emon gorur dudh tomay deyoa hochhey”. And added “Aar amader deshey to sokaley uthei bachhagulo duto antibiotic kheye nay” 🙂

Roughly speaking, it means – he explained to my MIL that the milk you are being given comes from only those cows who have not been administered antibiotics. And then added that, back in Bengal, kids wake up in the morning and first thing they do is take a couple of antibiotics 🙂

It is funny only if you realize the culture in Bengal. (Not sure if this is true for the rest of India). In Bengal, everybody over 12 years is a self-declared doctor. Given that almost all medicine is over the counter, people gorge themselves on medicine (the knowledge of which is gained thru crowdsourcing with their friends) at the slightest sign of the oncoming of an ailment. Especially “Thanda laaga”. Or “ombol” for that matter 🙂 (common cold and indigestion).

It would not have been this funny to me had it not been the morning call to my brother where he talked about his elder son having dripping nose. “School jaabey?”, I asked. (“Will he go to school?”). He responded “Hnah! sokaley ekta antibiotic charge korey diyechhi”. I am not even going to bother translating that 😉

The inlaws at Atlanta Braves baseball game. He has already asked me “Where is the boundary”? 🙂

*cricket guys will get this*

Nikita singing the national anthem with her chorus group at the Turner Stadium before the Braves-Cubs game!!

Getting my mother in law introduced to touchscreen is an awesome experience. A few days back, one of our friends had downloaded the YuppTV app on an iPad at our home and shown them how to watch streaming Bengali channels on it.

The whole concept of touching a sophisticated machinery like iPad is proving to be very scary to my MIL. This evening I came home and was a little surprised that she was not watching TV shows on iPad (she does that for endless hours).

“ki holo? Aaj TV dekchhen na?” (What happened? Not watching tv tonight?).
She was really scared and upset when she said “ami bodh hoy ota noshto korey felechhi” (I thinking I messed up the iPad)

“Maaney?”, I asked. (What is that supposed to mean?)
“Amar hath thekey ektu sorey gechhilo. Screen to puro bhenge bnekey gelo”. She thought when the iPad screen turned around (I assume she had tilted it), the physical screen came unhinged and got twisted!!!! 🙂

Half an hour later, I was again in the living room. This time saw her poring into the iPad but I could see that she was on the main screen. I asked her what happened. Why was she not watching something?

“Norchhe”, she said. (Things are moving)
I was like what do you mean “Norchhe”? Upon investigation found out that all the app icons were jiggling!! I assume she kept her finger on the YuppTV app for too long.

Anyways, I laughed out and told her next time to ask anyone of us to help her.

And I noticed that she had a lot of apps open. Obviously, she had tried a few more things before she got them to jiggle 🙂 I asked her to hang on and started to kill the apps one after the other. She watched me as I flicked the apps off the screen and then got her show started.

She helplessly looked at me and said “Thheley diley sorey jachhe e abar ki re baba” 🙂 (It moves when you push it, what kind of a thing is this?)

I am having second thoughts of gifting them an iPad before they leave for India!!

Today, Sharmila took my inlaws to the ultimate Mecca for all Indians who come to this country – that sanctum sanctorum that has to be paid its due visit if you are worth any Indian gene you might have. And no, I am not talking about Niagara Falls – that place is so overrun with Indians that I am sure they have declared it some kind of Union Territory of India or something. I am talking about our good old neighborhood COSTCO!!!

One round of walk up and down a couple of Costco aisles and my mother in law promptly canceled her evening walk for the day!!!! 🙂 She was devastated by the fact that you cannot buy one or two items – you have to buy twenty packets at a time (or so it seems to me).

But she was certainly pleased to be not the only person wearing a saree among a crowd!!!

The inlaws have been awake for most of the night. They have been watching NDTV on iPad following the Indian election results.

This morning at 7 am, they were still crouched against the iPad. And were constantly discussing something. So, I made coffee for all of us and came and sat down with them. Following their conversations, I realized something. They had very little real interest in the grand spectacle of the world’s largest democracy’s seminal moment of change of guard!

All they cared about is “What is happening to Didi’s party”? Didi, for the West Bengal (or for that matter any Bengal)-y challenged, is the affectionate name for Mamata Banerjee – the Chief Minister of West Bengal. Who, not unlike what is happening in India today, came to power two and a half years back after uprooting a party that was in power in West Bengal for multiple decades.

So, I asked them how much they cared about Congress versus BJP versus AAP at the Center. My father in law at least tried to show some interest – “Kono party onek din thaka bhalo na” (**nobody should be in power for too long**). My mother in law, in a perfect tribute to the old adage “all politics is local”, completely brushed me off – “taatey aamar ki eshe gelo” (**what is that to me?**) 🙂

As they kept discussing “Didi’s party”, I also realized something else. A lot of Bengali singers and actors have stood for elections this year. I had no idea that Bappi Lahiri (think of him as the Bengali version of Chris Christie with far more skills in copying other people’s tunes), Babul Supriyo, Munmun Sen, Soumitro Roy, Sandya Roy and such are political figures now. No wonder there is so much drama in West Bengal politics!

Since my mother in law would not pay any attention to me, I decided to push my luck. “Mamata-di ki korechhe aaj porjonto? Opposition-e chellano aar desh chalano alaada bepar”. Now, before I translate this, let me tell you – I have nary an idea about what is going on in West Bengal. I certainly cannot name you one more politician in West Bengal other than Didi. Armed with that near total ignorance, I took a potshot “What has she done till today? Shouting at the top of your voice while in Opposition is very different from running a country”.

My father in law knew me all too well. He just smiled and refused to take the bait. My mother in law? Not so much!! Like the normally docile garden snake that our lawn mower guy spotted and cornered on our street a couple of days back hissed and fought back in defense, my mother in law immediately raised her hood errr…. head and hit back. “Tomra sobjanta to”. (basically calling me know-all).

Then for the next twenty minutes I got a lecture on all the misdeeds of the previous government that held absolute power for multiple decades and how they had completely corrupted the system. And how it took somebody like Didi to fight back and “throw them into the Bay of Bengal”. “Ki sahos dekh onar” (**what courage she has**)

Which is interesting. For all the courage of Mamata-di she was projecting, my mother in law – who, in a rich irony, has the same name Mamata – has been cooped up inside our house for two days straight because of reports of a garden snake that our lawn mower guy spotted on our street 🙂

Second cup of coffee, anyone? 🙂

I had barely entered our house after the run in the rain this morning, when my mother in law started berating me. She looked me up and down, sized me up and asked
“Bristi-tey na hNatlei hochhilo na?”. (** did you have to go for a walk in this rain? **).

As you can imagine, like every self-righteous runner, I took total umbrage at her lack of confidence in me.
“hNatchhilam maaney? jeev baar korey aat minute-e mile dnourolam aar seta-key aapni hNata bolchhen?” (** Who you calling went for a walk? We panted our hearts out as we put in eight minute miles – and you think that was walking? **)

She somewhat relented.
“hNato aar dour-ou. Ei jhomjhomey bristitey aar keramati na dekhalei to hoto”. (** walking or running – what was the big need to show off in the rain? **)

I took the philosophical route – (btw, all throughout my childhood, I had addressed her as Masi – word usually used to address your mom’s sister – and I still call her Masi. Conversely, I call my father in law Kaku – usually used to address your dad’s brother)
“Masi”, I said “bristi-tey prokriti-r oporup rup dekhechhen? Sobuj gaach, chhoto nodi, jhomjhomey bristi, er moto o-kritrim soundorjo hoy? Na poisa laagey, na ticket kaat-tey hoy. Chhotobela-thekey to ma-masi-ra miley konodin bristitey berutey dilen na. Ekhon boro hoyechhi. Ekhon bristi-tey bhijey, jeev baar korey bristi-r jol na khele aar kobey khabo?” (** Mam, have you ever seen the resplendent beauty of nature as the green trees get soaked in glistening raindrops and the rivulets scurry along in heavy showers? You do not need money nor do you need any privilege to enjoy the pure natural beauty of rainfall. All throughout our childhood, you all moms and aunts, never let us go out and play in the rain. Now I am a grown up. If I cannot go stand in the rain and stick might tongue out to find out what it tastes like, when will I ever do it? **)

Thoroughly unimpressed, she said “Aar shorir bhengey porley ki hobey? Tokhon to Sharmila-kei dekhtey hobey” (** And what will happen when your health breaks down? Sharmila has to look after you, right? **).

By now, I was getting an idea about where this was all leading to. It was all about her daughter. Whatever I do, I should not create any more work for her!!! Now that I knew what the game was that I was up against, I knew how to play it. Completely avoided her line of argument and picked up the philosophy bit a notch higher…
“Aa-ha maasi, bhangtei jodi na dyan to notun korey gore-bo ki korey?” (** Mam, if you do not let me break it, how will I ever get a chance to build it anew? **)

Philosophy has nothing on an irate mother in law. “Beshi fyach fyach koro-na-to” boley uni gojgoj kortey kortey nijer room-e choley gelen 🙂
(she asked me to stop blabbering and stormed away to her bedroom constantly muttering under her breath) 🙂

Getting to know the inlaws’ history. We lit a fire outside, sat in the rains and traced my mother-in-law’s history. Armed with Google Maps, Wikipedia and the Search engine on the iPad, I have tracked down her pre-K school in Humgorh (remote village in Midnapur district), middle school in Khardaha and high school in Barrackpore. She is stunned by the satellite images of her school.

Made another promise. When I go to drop them in India, I will make sure she can go back in history and actually see her schools about six decades later !!!

There are indeed more moments to be created !!!

Took the inlaws up to the top of the Stone Mountain today. They were pretty thrilled with the whole experience but in that hot sun with temperatures in the eighties, the ubiquitous sweater and the jacket never came off.

As thrilled as my mother in law was, she saw a parallel in India with everything she saw. The dense trees in the park? Just like Chandrakona. (I have no idea where that is). The larger-than-life carvings of Confederate soldiers on the mountain face? “Just like Sivaji”!!!! Even the bareback shape of the mountain reminded her of the shape of a rhino she had once seen in India!! It was hilarious as well as instructive to see how human brains essentially learn by drawing linear relationships with known data points it has learnt before!!

Meanwhile, my father in law went to the cafe on the top and asked the lady if they had coffee. She replied in the negative. Somewhat disappointed but not totally despondent, my father in law, in one of those “Let them have cake” moment declared “Okay, I will have tea”!! The lady gave a long stare and said “Sir, we have soda”. I hurriedly stepped in before he interpreted soda as what he uses to clean utensils in India and explained – “They have coke”. “With ice?” he asked. “Sure”, I said. “Then I will wait and have lunch at home”, he declared!

Dang! I had forgotten he was wearing a jacket!!! 🙂

Remember how I had written in December last year, that my father in law was totally inspired by my intersection point concept and I was able to get him to meet a old colleague of his after 55 years? Well, today, he got to meet somebody after “minimum 40 years”. They could not remember when they met last, but it was certainly before he was in his forties.

The intersection was created in a weird way. When we first moved to Atlanta, we did not know anybody here. A Bengali friend of ours from Dallas had kindly introduced us to a friend of hers from her housing complex in Bombay, I believe, who lived in Atlanta. And that is how we got to know Abhijeet and Rupa. Subsequently, during discussions with Abhijeet, the name “Amlagorah” or “Humgorh” or something as vague as that (they are tiny villages in West Bengal) was mentioned.

And I knew those names!!! Sure enough, turned out Abhijeet, in his very early childhood, had visited my father-in-law’s house in his village. The big reason to remember? My father in law owned a rifle which was on display at their house. So, Abhijeet immediately remembered the “rifle baari” (“rifle house”). Turns out Abhijeet’s dad’s mamabari (maternal uncle’s house) was in Amlagorah and he went there every summer with his family. He called his maternal uncle “mama” and when he visited the “rifle baari”, he called my father in law “mama” too.

Many many moons later, we caught both of them visiting their son/son-in-law in Atlanta and the intersection point was created over lunch in a local Indian restaurant today!!!

My father in law was totally impressed with this picture of him at Wolf Vineyards. Then his next question was “You are not putting this on Facebook, are you?” 🙂

We are at Wolf Mountain Winery. Mother in law is engulfed by people her age group tasting and drinking wine. She surveyed her surroundings and summarized “Glass Glass sob kinchhe aar dhok dhok korey khachche” 🙂
I have no good way of translating this….

Managed to convince them that this would be a good thing 🙂

Had a cocktail with my FIL out in the sun by the pool. Before I could turn around, he was out!!! You probably remember another cocktail I had made that had knocked out my brother a few months back 🙂

The Roy family completely dominated the Bengali run today. We had the youngest member, the eldest member, the fastest member, the slowest member and with four out of seven members that showed up, it also achieved an absolute majority 🙂 (“Nironkush Sonkhya-Goristhhota”)

Remember the Afghan cab driver I had chatted up in DC who was startled to find out that I knew about Ahmad Ali – who happened to have learnt music with him in Kabul together and escaped from Afghanistan together? And remember how I had struggled with a particular song of Ahmad Ali that I was sure was the same tune as a Nazrulgeeti that I had heard in my childhood and for the life of me, never could remember which?

Well, I had called my sister, held the phone next a YouTube blasting on my computer and she could not figure it out either. I reached out to a few more people who I thought might know. And completely hit a wall.

Enter my mother in law.

Last Friday, I was listening to songs and practicing some tabla when she came to the music room. So, we started listening to songs together and then out of a whim I had her listen to the Ahmad Ali song and asked her if it reminded her of any other song. To my complete amazement, she said she did. But struggled to remember the song. I was t*h*i*s close!!!

She kept giving me hints – male singer, words were like “laas dhuiyo laal paani diye” etc etc. Furious Googling led to nothing. Whatsoever 🙁

Saturday morning, as she walked into the kitchen, she said softly (she is a very soft spoken person), “I think it starts ‘Jedin Lobo Biday'”. Coffee be darned, I immediately jumped onto Google and YouTube. SURE ENOUGH!!! She had nailed the song. Found out the song on YouTube. Compared the tunes. Exactly the same!!!

Evidently, she had stayed up the previous night for sometime trying to rack her memory cells till she could remember the song!!

Now, that is my kind of mother in law!!!

You can check for yourself.

The Ahmad Ali song can be found here (start from 5:55 Mark) http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=o37CBES5cE4

And the Nazrulgeeti can be found here: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-H5xFEqFSxc

Uncanny, huh?

So what would you do after four days of a three city tour including four flights – two of them coast to coast and two of them much delayed? If you are much grounded in sanity, you will probably stay on ground for a few days.

But then I have to stay true to the one-word adjective my wife summarized me by – “quirky”. So, at the end of the work week, immediately packed up the family (including inlaws) and headed back to the airport.

A few phone calls and deft maneuvers later, here we are on a flight for the inlaws to see the Niagara Falls for the first time (and I am sure only time) in their lives. The kids have seen the Falls from the Canadian side but never from the American side.

Should be good!

On a serious note, just like for my parents, I am always scared which one of the trips is going to be the last time I get to see my inlaws (they are nearly 80). They are visiting us after 10 years. (Usually I go to India to see them every three months). I am lucky to still have both my parents and inlaws alive – albeit at various stages of physical abilities. I am acutely aware that that count is going to go down to 3 soon. How soon and which one, I do not know. Therefore, I am determined to create some “indelible moments” in their lives.

As a bonus, they got to do it with both their granddaughters in tow…

That is what my mother in law wanted to know as I drove towards the Finger Lakes.
“Watch our for deer prancing around on hind legs”, I told her!
Going by how she went back to eating her lunch maintaining a stoical silence, I suspect she did not buy any of it 🙂

Guess who debuted with her first wine tasting today? Let the records indicate that I finally prevailed!!!

You have heard me often describing life as a random line drawn between various points at which you meet a human being and get to know him/her. And then often the lines bend themselves backwards to recreate a meeting with somebody you have met before to create “intersection points”. Life is all about the richness of those lines and the substance in those points.

And when an old friend of mine, upon hearing that I am near enough for him, packs his family in the car, crosses a country border enduring all the hassles of US Customs and Immigration and two hours later shows up to meet me and my family and in-laws and then checks into the same hotel as us just so that we could spend some more time the next morning, that is when I know that I am drawing all the right lines and creating all the right intersections.

And that is how Sourav Ray showed up with his family last night in Buffalo, NY, USA from Hamilton, ON, Canada. As you can see in the pictures, we simply had a blast. There is no greater story teller than Sourav and there is nothing I would exchange to spend some time with him and his family. The “adda”, the dinner, the after dinner drinks, the morning coffee by the hotel pool… every moment was to be savored!!

Last year, I met Sourav after 33 years when I took my family to the Niagara Falls on the Canadian side. And the next meeting did not even have to wait for a year, thanks to him.

Here is something to give you an idea of how easily Sourav can make you part of his family. If you saw us talking and chatting up about old friends and life in general, you could be excused for thinking that we have grown up together for years. Reality is that our paths crossed only for one year – from Jan 1980 thru Dec that year when we were in eighth grade together. And then he left our school!!!

But the real fun is discovering more intersection points together. Let me give you a couple of examples..

Last night as I was distracted talking to his daughter about something, I thought I heard him mention a name to my wife Sharmila. I paid some attention and figured he was talking about a girl from much earlier times that he had a softness for. I am not mentioning any names here since I have too many social media friends 😉 But I did interrupt him and told Sharmila “Do you remember XYZ that I introduced you to during event ABC”? She nodded affirmatively. “He is talking about his wife”. You should have seen Sourav’s face. He was completely taken aback by the fact that I knew the girl and her husband.

Another one .. Post dinner, we settled down for drinks and this time his wife Monolina mentioned another girl’s name. Again, I was talking to him that time so I had no idea what the context was all about. But I recognized the name. And asked her a question. I was quite sure there was an intersection point there. In front of them, I called up my brother in law (Sharmila’s brother) and he immediately confirmed that the aforementioned lady’s daughter and his son (my nephew) sit next to each other in their class in school! Again, Sourav was just completely aghast. After that he was very wary of mentioning any names lest I dig out some uncomfortable truths!!

As a final example, next morning, over coffee by the pool, he mentioned somebody’s name and that he has worked in supply chain. I figured I should know most people in supply chain. Made one single call (I had the added information that is person is in a Steel company) and asked my friend if he knew this other guy Sourav was talking about. Found out my friend was the boss of the guy Sourav was talking about about 11 years back!!! What is even more crazy, this friend of mine had visited Atlanta this week and come to our house to meet my in laws!!! My father in law was completely sympathetic with Sourav that he should not talk about anybody from his past 🙂

It is those intersection points that keep bringing us closer. Much more than the one year we spent together.

To get an idea about the size, check out the human beings on the right top part of the photo.

After almost a month, I am home in the evening – weekdays and weekends included. None of the daughters are home.

Relaxing by the pool with the inlaws and some cocktails and Bengali songs…

They had never been to an ocean. Not anymore, after today.

Checked into Hilton Head with my inlaws and family for the weekend.

Some of you may know that my mother in law has severe sight issues (from a very early age) and certainly is constrained in locomotory capabilities. She can walk, but very slowly.

The sand in the beach was not making her ability to move easier. But after about ten minutes, she got past the twenty yards of loose sand and stood on the firmer and wetter sand near the waves.

For what seemed like hours, she just gazed into the evening ocean. It was almost like she was in a trance. We went for a walk – but she just opted to stand there and keep looking at the ocean.

Eventually, I had to tell her that we should probably go before it became too late for dinner. I did promise her that she can sit by the ocean tomorrow whole day…

As seen in Sharmila’s sunglasses. (see inset)

My mother in law sat down in the lounge chair in the beach under the umbrella that I had rented wearing her traditional Indian saree and all that. (I can’t get her to move from a saree to a more comfortable churidar – let alone jeans or long pants or shorts).

She sat down, surveyed the whole beach full of Fourth of July beach-goers and quickly realized one simple math: she had, on herself, more fabric of cloth than all the other beach goers, put together!! Unlike the Niagara Falls, there was not a single other Indian to be found as far as the eyes could see on that hot beach horizon to bend that mathematical curve. Curious, she asked me “Why are they all dressed like that”. To completely throw her off, I said “Oh! They are all jealous of us. They are trying to get tanned in the sun to get their skin to look like ours”.

Well, that did not compute in her mind either. For, she responded with another intriguing question “Tobey amra keno sabaan ghose-e mejhh-e oder moto hobar chesta korchhi”? (Roughly translated, “then why are we all trying to scrub ourselves down with Sandalwood soap to get skin like theirs?”

Touché! That was the richest irony ever!!

(For my non-Indian friends, in India there is a very interesting culture where your skin color seems to matter a lot. Fairer skin is somehow considered superior. In looks, during matchmaking etc etc etc. )

Looking back, maybe, it was not such a great idea introducing my mother-in-law to Snapchat. I was trying to show her a Snapchat from Tasha. But, by the time she was done adjusting her glasses and orienting the phone in the bright sunlight, the photo had destroyed itself since the time period was over.

First, she refused to believe me that the photo was gone. She kept turning the phone around and cleaning her glasses to see if I was just pulling her leg. When she demanded to know why would anybody want to send pictures that would vanish after a few seconds, I was truly stumped on how to explain it in a way she would believe me. I could have cited Anthony Weiner but thought the better of it 🙂

Eventually, Sharmila told her that I was telling the truth. She is now totally confused.

My friend Nandita posted a nice picture from New York of fireworks there on Facebook. I showed it on my iPad to my mother in law. Her first question? “eta kotokkhon thakbey?” (“How long will this pic remain?”) 🙂

Now I am afraid every time I show her a picture on my camera, she will ask me to take a quick printout 🙂

After the whole day on the beach, took my mother in law back to the beach at 9PM. There were a large number of fireworks going on. There were people with splendid fireworks every 200 yards or so on the beach.

My mother in law was suitably impressed with the amount of fireworks, the brilliance of the fireworks (she has seen nothing like this before) and above all the enthusiasm of American citizens in celebrating the Independence Day.

After forty five minutes, she started her slow walk on the sand back to the hotel. She stopped in between, look up to the hotel – which was less than thirty yards away – and said disapprovingly of the Marriott Vacation hotel “era thik korlo na. chhade tuni-bulb laagatey paarto”

🙂

(My father in law himself chose the caption for this picture)

… If we have no time to stand and stare.

While vacationing in Hilton Head, I noticed that my father in law always put his cap on his shoes. That reminded me that every time I would go out with him in my car with the roof retracted, he would fish out his cap from the shoe closet in the garage.

Finally, I asked him “Uporey tupi, nichey juto, maajhey manushta-i habeesh. Ki byapar bolun to?” (It’s like the cap is there on the top and the shoes are there on the bottom but the man is missing from the middle. What gives?)

I am glad I asked. Because he had an impeccable reason. Apparently, he was getting so frustrated of losing his cap because he would simply forget to pick it back up, he started the practice of putting it next to the shoe. Regardless of wherever he went, he figured he was going to put his shoes back on, anyways, before stepping out. That way, he would remember to put his cap back on too.

Pretty cool. I should try that some time. Maybe keep my ID, wallet, cash, cards, phone and phone charger inside my shoe!!!

… to spend the evening with her dad out in the rains, under the umbrella with tiki torches and wine. The qawwali by Nusrat going on could not have been more appropriate…

“Aag daaman mein lag jayegi, dil mein shola machal jayega
Mera sagar na chhuna kabhi, saaqiyaa haath jal jayega”

So, there is this lovely lady called Bidisha Rudra. In 2007, when we moved from Dallas to Atlanta, we found out thru a common friend that she was looking for a nanny for her very young twins. Nikita’s nanny was out of a job (since we moved) and we made the connection. I think the nanny worked with Bidisha’s kids. After moving to Atlanta, one of the very few people I became reasonably close with – Amitesh – turned out to have known Bidisha and her family very well. Apparently, they lived in Atlanta before they moved to Dallas!!

After that, all I know is Bidisha and her family moved to Asia (multiple times?) for work. I never got to meet them but Sharmila and the kids have met them in their visits to Dallas later. I knew enough about her and her family that by this time we were Facebook friends too.

Now cut to many years later to this evening. As you see in the picture, the in-laws, Sharmila and myself were relaxing by the poolside late in the evening. One thing led to the other and finally, at the end of a really excited set of questions and answers, I was able to put the following together:

My wife’s dad’s sister’s husband’s brother’s son’s daughter is the same lovely lady Bidisha!!

Don’t ask me why I get so excited about these really long connections (remember my bench mate from fourth grade Subir Hore who I found out was a relative many times removed many years later? ). Probably the odds against a total population of 1.2 billion. As Bidisha herself put it “cosmic connection” 🙂

The glowing wick of a citronella lamp.

Taken while chatting with the inlaws by the pool with the lamps on to keep the bugs away…

… Often reflect on one of the biggest thing of the past

It was a long work day. Finally came home and did something that the inlaws love doing whenever I am home. We sit by the pool, light up the citronella candles, pour some wine and start talking. Sharmila was busy with the kids – so it was just the three of us.

I learnt why my father in law is called what he is called. What I did not know is that in those days of high childbirth mortalities, his mom lost her first four kids. Out of tremendous pressure from society and family – those were not easy days for women in India to begin with, far less for women who could not bear a living child – she cried and prayed like crazy to God to let her next born live. Moment the child was born, she named him “Rakhahari” – meaning “Please keep (this one), God”!!! And He did!!

Who knew?

It was pretty much two families – Roys and Debs and one first timer – Seemitadi!! Check out my new colorful shoes 🙂

Another hectic week. Another weekend. If I had my way, every weekend would be like this. Sitting outside with all the necessary ingredients – Sharmila, her parents, Pinot Noir, the citronella lamps, the camera and iPhone to capture the moments and songs from the iPhone. As you can see from the last picture , everybody listened to songs well into the night….

He completed 50 yards – that is the distance from our barbecue to his bedroom in 40 hours!!! Of course that route took a detour through the emergency room and the operating theater in our nearest hospital!!!

So, this is how the story has unfolded so far. The pictures go row by row chronologically…

On Saturday, at about 8PM, my father in law went to the barbecue to get some corn done. He saw a King snake inside, tried to back out and in the process tripped over his own shoe. Fell down and just could not move. A few minutes later, the fire engine and ambulance showed up. The first picture shows the EMS folks putting him in the ambulance.

The second picture shows him in the Emergency room. Went thru all sorts of CAT scans and XRays and by 10PM, it was concluded that he did not hit his head but he did break his hip. He took the news stoically and asked that my mother in law be not told of this till they had finished operating on him.

The nurse came and said “Your dad is very strong. For a guy who has broken a hip, he sustained the pain of turning to take a X-Ray better than anybody I have seen in my life”. I merely pointed out that he really is not my dad, instead, my father in law.

The next picture shows him waiting to go into the Operating Room at 8 AM next morning. That was the couple of hours I did not get to see him. The next time I saw him, which is the next picture, is when he was back in the hospital room, resting.

As the next picture shows, he had regained consciousness by 12 noon and was already eating food and eager to get back on his feet. The doctor admired his mental strength but asked him to take it easy for a day. Well, he did get a physiotherapist come and see him who was willing to let him try standing up – which he did and then he shuffled his legs to move forward too. The physiotherapist later told me that he had never seen anybody bounce back this quickly after a hip surgery at the age of 80!

Totally pleased with himself, he started reading local newspapers as you see in the next picture and asked me not to stay in the hospital that night. The next morning, early as a lark, I showed up with his Indian tea that Sharmila had made for him and the first thing he wanted to know was when could he try walking!!!

As the next couple of pictures show, within 24 hours of a hip surgery, he convinced the hospital staff to let him walk with a walker and also climb up the stairs today. The lady helping him climb up the stairs, simply told me “I am glad. But he scares me!!”

The next picture shows him at about 10AM, he is all dressed up and ready to go home. The surgeon came and plainly confided, “I can’t believe I am doing this … but your father in law is good to go home”. The hospitalitist (yes, there is such a person), concurred.

I am going to spare you all the details of struggling to walk or get up in a car with one hip bone surgically operated upon and inserted with a titanium rod a six inch screw a few hours back,… but let me tell you, once he came home, he certainly did not shuffle to his bed. He dragged himself straight to the kitchen porch (see last picture), sat down with his walker and walking cane on his side, took one sip of the ice wine he loves, grinned from ear to ear and said “We have to find out how the snake got into the barbecue in the first place”.

And as I clinked my glass of Meiomi Pinot Noir against his glass of ice wine, I could not help realize the difference between my dad who has lost total zest for life and my father in law – a clear five years elder, 80 year old – who picked up his life exactly where he left it 40 hours and a broken hip bone before.

There is little doubt that I will fall down in my life many many times like he has…. That is not the point…. The point is….

I just want to get up like he did….

Every….Single….Time…

For about two days, my mother in law has been a mere spectator as events overtook her. Her husband fell down, broke his hip, got operated on, recovered and came back home. All she did was rely on us to give updates (in fact, she did not even realize about the surgery till it was done).

You could see that she felt helpless to help her husband, but she knew that he was being helped by people who could help him better than her. So, she would try to be helpful to them, if she could. Even when we came home, my father in law did not retire with her in their room; instead came out and drank with me. Finally, he was tired enough that he agreed to use the walker to shuffle to his bedroom and sleep.

My mother in law first made sure that I finished my lunch (Sharmila was out doing all the weekday stuff you do with the kids) and then quietly retired to her room. Of course, her next love is Zee Bangla – or whatever popular Bengali TV shows are on – on any steaming website.

I was trying to spend time to myself and then when I had to go inside the house to refill my drink, I went to check on my father in law. And I glimpsed this picture from a distance on their headboard mirror. My father in law – sound asleep. And my mother in law close to him as if protecting him from everybody else in this foreign country while watching her favorite Indian channel on her iPad resting against my father in law.

Realizing the essential privacy of the moment, I anyways went ahead and captured it on my phone. And waited to get a minute with my mother in law later and asked if it was okay for me to make the picture public. Else, I was going to delete it. She was a little amused by my question. She was like “Why would I want privacy if I kept the door open?”. And I was like “I don’t know. This country is all about privacy … Or something like that “.

In any case, that was an intense moment of togetherness, I thought. She finally got him to herself after his terrible fall. And she did not want to disturb him. Just be with him without anybody else… I retraced my path quietly and sat down with my next drink..

It was Friday evening. Designated day to go out for a drink with my FIL. There was one problem though. He was barely five days and change into his surgery to fix his broken hip. In those five days, he had already gotten himself to got up and walk with a walker. A walker is not ideal for long distances. No problem. A few Google searches and phone calls later, I was back home with a rented wheelchair.

Over all protestations of my mother in law, very soon, Sharmila and myself were at our favorite Indian bar with the inlaws. We sat outside and had a delightful time. Presently Amitesh, Anusuya, Mrinalda and Seemitadi joined us to make it a perfect octet.

After a wonderful evening together, we came back home. Then I asked my FIL – “Dekhun, gelen boley koto bhalo laaglo” (See, it was a good thing you went. You had such a great time). He had a memorable response. “Bhalo laga? Amar to mon kharap hoye gelo seshe. Eder moton bhaari shundor shundor lok desh-e giye kothay paabo?” (Had a great time? I am feeling really sad now. Where am I going to get such wonderful people – referring to our guests for the evening – when I go back home?)

Like his guests, I am amazed that barely five days after a hip surgery he is out and about and sipping wine with the rest of us sitting outside a bar….

Seems like he truly lives up to what my good friend Larry Mason had advised me once – “The difficult, we do today. The impossible, will take a little more time”!

Ever since my inlaws have visited us, I have been always thinking of where else can we take them to visit. You always want to show the best of your country to visitors from other countries. They were awe-struck by Niagara Falls, totally mesmerized by seeing the Atlantic Ocean in Hilton Head and so on. Now that my father-in-law’s movement is highly restricted, I have been at my wit’s end where to take them.

Today, I realized how they are totally happy with the simplest of things and simplest of places. After trying a few parks by the River Chattahoochee and finding them to be too crowded and not enough shade, I just took them to a familiar place of mine. It is actually a pretty nondescript spot – it is by the river alright, and there are a couple of parking spots too. But it is right under the highway 400 and nobody is there other than the occasional runner or canoeist. And that is why I know that place. I have often started my runs from there.

But they thought that was the best place in the whole world. They sat in the shade that the overhead highway gave and gazed into the river on either side for what seemed to me like an endless period (it was a couple of hours) completely oblivious of the cars and trucks roaring by just a few yards above their heads. I caught them often talking to themselves and once in a while to each other. They even compared the sights to some places in India they had visited way way back before they had any kids.

I just watched them and took as many pictures as I could. My favorite is the black and white on the right top corner.

After a tough week on the road, after I came back today, I got a chance to take my inlaws and Sharmila out. The best news of the day was that my father-in-law, who is a lot more reassured of himself when I am around rather than when he is surrounded by four ladies in the house (his words, not mine :-)) gained enough confidence to give up on his wheelchair and walker and managed to go around with just a walking stick!!

My mother in law was so happy to see this improvement that she finally gave in to my pleadings to have a drink with us. Well, she kind of overachieved by having two drinks!!! Wait till all her relatives back in India hear about this 🙂

You can see my in-laws here going for bottoms up!! By the way, that Gandhian haircut my father in law is sporting now? You can thank yours truly for that. Although, I think Sharmila has thrown my old clippers after that hair cutting episode. I can’t seem to find them anywhere anymore. Not that I have any real use for them myself 🙂

Surgery can heal your broken bones. But the bureaucracy of filling forms can completely pulverize you. Now that my father-in-law is hobbling around with his stick, I started thinking about what paperwork he might need to carry to see if he can get any of the medical expenses reimbursed in India (he is traveling with medical insurance for foreign trip).

My brother in law promptly sent me a boat load of paperwork. I read a few of them and then looked at some of the information they are asking for. It will be interesting to see how I can even get all those paperwork. Forget convincing the hospital to give me all the detail procedural paperwork – HIPAA be danged – just the forms to be filled up is going to be challenging… if I can suppress my smile at the ridiculousness of some of the fields, that is.

A case in point. Look at the picture below. One of the forms requires the doctor to fill up and sign off on certain information. Even if I manage to explain to him what a Taluka is or why Fax is a mandatory instrument for a patient to have, how do I explain after checking off on “Mr” or “Mrs”, why you have to re-clarify whether you are a male or a female? 🙂

This is going to be a lot of fun!!!

After going for a walk with the Chalu-pa runners every Sunday for a few months before he broke his hip, my father-in-law finally arrived at the last Sunday before he leaves for India. I skipped my run so that I could take him to join the rest of the Chalu-pa group for the customary coffee after run. He walked in hobbling with his stick just as the rest of the group settled down after the run… Was a good last Sunday “adda”!

First leg – stay over tonight in Washington DC to catch the flight to India early morning tomorrow. The inlaws are very impressed with the arrangements made by all airlines to help people who cannot walk easily…

They are busy discussing about all their experiences in US this time. He is remembering each and every new friend he made during this trip. She is remembering all the food she ate at different restaurants and friends’ houses!!!

He is taking it pretty hard. Before getting into the car at home, as I was busy putting in the suitcases, he slowly walked to the car door with his walking stick and then, before getting in, took a long look at our yard and his favorite sitting spot and said “Bye, bye pool”. 🙁

We were still on the ground. And the nice air hostess comes around asking if she could get us a drink before we got started. FIL immediately responded “some red wine, please”. I was, like “Whoa! Easy, Speedy Gonzalez”!!!

So, I told the lady “He means he will have it when we are in the air. He is fine with his water for the time being “.

He was not particularly happy with that interpretation. My MIL, on the other hand, totally approved!!! 🙂

Sitting by the Potomac. You can see the Washington Memorial and the Capitol in the distance on the other side.

I was in India for one of my quarterly trips to India to check on my dad. Of the two or three days that I spend with him, one day – sometimes only a few hours – is dedicated to my inlaws. On April 2nd, 2013, following the pattern, I showed up at my inlaws’ house (they had no idea I was in India) with my brother and brother-in-law after about three hours of drive at about 7 PM and said – “Let’s go out for dinner”. After getting over all protestations from my mother in law that we should eat at her place, we landed up at Peerless Inn in Durgapur.

Around 9PM, we were done with our dinner (actually, I remember having a lot of great appetizers that my friends in Peerless always make for us) and settled down with our wines (“we” means all of us minus my mother in law, as you can see in the picture in top). The topic went to the concept of mortality and why giving time is far more valuable than giving time. I think we were talking about grandparents and their leaving their wealth for their grandkids instead of their own kids. And I, predictably, pushed them to give time to the grandkids and quit worrying about giving money.

It was then that I had dropped the question – “Why not visit us in Atlanta?”. There was less than zero chance of me succeeding. My father in law was pushing 80 (he is the oldest of my parents and in laws). My mother in law has enough physical challenges. And I did not think Sharmila would relish giving up her independence for a long time. (Indian parents visit for at least three months and I am never at home to give up my independence, anyways).

I did not succeed, as predicted. But I did make a dent. Everytime I met them or talked to them, I encouraged them to think about the fact that the only thing finite is time.

Well, eventually, they got their new passports done, their visas done and visited us – exactly one year later than what my original proposal was (which was summer last year).

On this last night in US for them, as I tucked them in their bed in the DC hotel and went down for a nice gin and tonic, I started looking at the pictures I took of them during their stay (attached a couple in the bottom). There is a marked difference in their smiles

And that was my whole goal. To make a difference. In a small way…

No sooner had we settled down in the Emirates Lounge in Washington DC airport, than my MIL went around milling where all the food and coffee was. I was sure she was hungry but her biggest constraint was to check out the food when nobody was around. (She has no ability to converse with all those folks trying to help her out due to the language issue).

I could see she was surveying all the food and was trying to figure out what to have. And that is when one of those ever helpful Emirates employee showed up and started asking her in local English if she could help.

It was a sight to watch. MIL did not want to be rude but she absolutely did not want to continue with any conversation. Normally, I would step in and explain to her what she was being told. This time, I just decided to let her be and get some experience in the fun of traveling. And this particular experience was certainly a lot of fun to me. All the statements from the helpful lady was met with vigorous headshaking by my MIL. She kept up with her firm smile though.

Then she put in quite some food in her plate and came back to her chair. You could see it in her eyes that she was panicking. She finally settled down in the chair next to me, put her food down and asked me “Ki niye elam re”? (“What did I pick up in my plate?”) 🙂

I was not going to let her off the hook of having fun. So, I said “Kheye-i dekhun na” (“You wont know till you eat it”). You can see her struggling with her food in this picture 🙂

Reminded me of a very old but very funny Haggar The Horrible cartoon. The first picture showed Haggar’s domineering wife (Helga?) and certainly not the best cook putting some food in front of him and patronizing him about food wastage. “Waste not. Want not”. She said. The next picture showed Haggar trying the food. And the last picture showed him pushing the food away. “Want not”, was his memorable response 🙂

Sitting next to my MIL in the plane, I showed her this collage I had made some time back and asked her what was this all about. She took about three minutes and then said “One of those people, I recognize as myself”. I am like “Really, who are the others?”. She recognized two more as her daughter – Sharmila. She could not figure out who the rest were!!!

I really wonder who has been doing all the drinking – my MIL or FIL 🙂

Needless to say, all of the pictures are of Sharmila. With her different hair styles over the last 15 years!!!

Nothing can shrink my inlaws further in their airplane seats than the prospect of having to talk to the stewards and stewardesses regarding what would they want for their meal. My father in law, at least, puts up a spirited fight. Often, therefore, landing with stuff he had no idea that he had ordered. But he is a good sport – and he will try out a little of everything. My mother in law, on the other hand, pointedly refuses to deal with any of these stewards or stewardesses with anything but head shakes. Which, for any foreigner can be very confusing. Indians are famous for their head shakes. And my mother in law is famous for not getting to eat much in flights. Once in a while, she will recognize something that she knows – e.g. Tea and would order it with great anticipation. And then spit it out after the first sip – because she was expecting tea done exactly the Bengali way. “Era cha-tao bhalo banatey jaanena” (“these folks don’t know how to make a simple cup of tea!”)

A stewardess came and asked them after the meal – “Some digestives?”. Not exactly the way I would have put it, but the packets in her tray clearly showed the picture of aniseed. The next two minutes was a sight. Both of them, totally flabbergasted, looked at the lady, at each other and then across the aisle, towards me. Not in a hurry to finish the fun, I just kept smiling back. Eventually, my father in law said “one” indicating he would try some. And as the lady moved on, I mentioned “Mouri chhilo” (“That was aniseed”) (a very common after meal mouth freshener cum digestive in India). Let me put it this way, my mother in law made me call the lady back so that she could grab a few packets!!!

This being the state of affairs, you can only imagine their reaction when they found out that the last course of meal in their last meal in the last segment of flight (Dubai to Kolkata) was “rosomalai” (a delectable Bengali dessert). The entire inner Bengaliness of their last four month existence outside Bengal was channeled – vigorously, I might add – on that one course!! In the picture, you can see them devouring those hapless plates of rosomalai as if “dhorey praan elo”. Those rosomalais vanished in front of my eyes faster than I could say “Aar ektu mouri neben?” (“Want some more aniseed?”). 🙂

My mother-in-law’s first attempt at using chopsticks. My father-in-law’s reaction to this is rather pronounced 🙂

On my way back to India with my inlaws, do you know who found one silver lining in the cloud of my father-in-law breaking his hip and therefore being transported in wheelchairs? My mother-in-law!! And she admitted to the same after we reached India. You know why? Because, she got to use the elevators (lifts, as my friends from India would say) at every airport!!

You see, I had gone to India to get them from there in April. And on the way back, I was determined to modernize my mother-in-law’s outlook. I had simply refused to let her use the elevators. Instead forced her to take the escalators (the moving steps). I was carrying all their handbags myself. Still, I would hold her hand firmly to help her step on and step off the moving escalator. I was absolutely determined to break her fear of moving escalators.

Unfortunately, I failed miserably. In that and getting her to get rid of her saree and wear a little more comfortable Indian clothes (from mobility point of view) while in US. But the process of trying to get her to get used to escalators was absolutely hilarious.

I knew I was in trouble when in Kolkata itself, she revolted at the sight of the moving staircase, let alone the prospect of stepping onto one! Given her familiarity with the world where the steps were stationary and the people were moving, her reaction was somewhat as jarring as the first time humankind was told that the sun was stationary (and frankly, doing fine!) while we were the ones hurtling at an uncontrollable speed through vacuum 🙂

By the time we reached Dubai, trying to get her on to an escalator was like trying to get a cow climb downstairs (which, I am told they are incapable of and certainly oppose vigorously if forced to do so). First, I lied through my nose and told her that there were no elevators in Dubai airport. And then I willingly, patiently waited till everybody from the plane cleared the escalator. We had, after all, five hours to kill. Then I took her to the escalator.

Her attempt to try it by herself was as gingerly as it could ever get. She would get in front of the staircase, look around, see that somebody hundred yards away were headed towards her and then immediately step aside to let that person go!! Mind you… hundred yards!! No less!!

Eventually, she ran out of excuses. She stepped up to the base of the staircase and kept on staring at the steps as one after the other new steps kept emerging from the abysss – seemingly endlessly. You could see that in her mind, she was taking a deep breath and going “Okay, I got this. I got this. It is the next step that is coming. Well, no, the next to next. Yes, yes, wait wait… let’s make it the next one. Or maybe the next to next one. That is it. The next one. Here it is. Yep! that is the one! Oops, it is too far away now!!! Dang it! Next one!! I wonder if anybody is looking at me.”

At this point of time, I held her hand and simply stepped on to the next moving step. She was forced to walk with me. Now, when I say “walk”, what I mean is that her legs took the step. The upper body had not quite realized this obvious betrayal by the legs. Resulting in her leaning backward completely, pretty much at the same angle as the steps were emerging – further deepening her belief that moving escalators were not meant for the civilized world.

If getting up was that onerous, you can only imagine what stepping out was like. She realized she did not have a choice. She HAD to get down. In her mind, there was a nanosecond of window of opportunity and if she missed that by even as much as a whisker, she would be swallowed whole by the underground or wherever those steps were vanishing to!! I literally pushed her off the step.

In the flight to US, I explained how she was becoming too conscious of herself. Even if she did not get off, she would be nudged out. And there were three steps that become flat before they vanished. All she needed to do is just walk. Just walk naturally, and she would not even notice.

All through the flight, she must have thought about my words and mentally prepared herself. When it was time for her to move off the moving escalator at the DC airport train station, she was all prepared. And by all prepared, I mean she had one leg up and two hands up ready to pull off a high jump at the first cue. As we approached that line where the steps and ground meet, she was a veritable picture of a contemplative crane vaguely trying to take a jujitsu stance on one leg!!

But she made it. She stepped off. Or rather jumped off – landing that other leg with the satisfaction befitting something in the lines of “one step for a woman, a giant leap etc etc etc”. In all that momentary satisfaction, she had given complete short shrift to – at her own peril, I might add – Newton’s law of inertia. You don’t get off a moving escalator and stop there to survey the landscape around with great satisfaction. Newton was there to push her forward with his whole might of first law of motion. And in case Newton was slipping in his duties, a whole herd of passengers were there behind her to jolt her forward. Once again, I had to quickly step in and hold her arm firmly.

Eventually, we reached home. Partly pushed, partly pulled, but mostly dragged. Once home, Sharmila showed them the whole set up. They had their own guest quarters in the main living floor. In case, they wanted more privacy, she had another bedroom and bathroom set up downstairs. Not knowing if stairs would be too much of a bother at their advancing age, Sharmila asked “siri-tey osubidhey hobey”? [[“would stairs be a hassle?”]]

There was an immediate cloud of fear come over my mother-in-law’s eyes. Completely startled (“piley chomkey gelo”), she jumped out of her skin and yelled “toder-tao norey?” [[“Yours moves too?”]] 🙂

You can then only imagine the smirk on her face at every airport on our way back as the person helping my father-in-law with the wheelchair took us to the nearest elevator!!!