26 June 2026

Health Tip: How I Finally Solved My Dehydration Problem

As an inveterate coffee drinker by day and a wine drinker by evening, I spend most of my life in a “lightly mummified”. Add to that our salty and spicy Indian food, and I am about as hydrated as a Bedouin crossing the Sahara.

Of course, I am aware of the wisdom of drinking eight glasses of water during the day. Knowledge, however, has always had only a passing acquaintance with my actual behavior.

That said, I believe I have finally solved my problem. And you can too.

First, if you don’t know how to swim, excellent. You’re already halfway there. If you do know how to swim, I recommend unlearning it first.

Then, and this part is important, sign up for swimming lessons with a relentlessly persistent instructor.

The results have been astonishing. I am now ingesting water at an unprecedented rate. Not all of it through my mouth, mind you, but hydration is hydration.

Frustratingly enough, there is one unexpected side effect.

Instead of floating gracefully, I seem to be using all that extra water as ballast in a submarine. I think I am one periscope and a sonar device short of being able to swim underwater.

On the bright side, I am stepping out of the pool more like a grape and less like a raisin!

Category: Humor, Swimming | LEAVE A COMMENT
13 June 2026

Martian in our Alpha Loop (declassified report)

The top three conclusions a Martian would make were it to come to our Alpha Loop.

1. The four-legged creature is the supreme being. He has a two-legged best friend who obediently follows him and picks up his poop.

2. Those two-legged creatures all seem to be born with a bright white thing sticking in their ears.

3. Something terrifying lurks at the far end of the loop. The two-legged creatures sprint away from it with great urgency, yet inexplicably return to face it again and again.

Category: Humor | LEAVE A COMMENT
31 May 2026

Why I Do Not Want to Go to Heaven

Sharmila, Jay Jay, and I were strolling through the Farmers Market in Alpharetta yesterday when a gentleman materialized out of nowhere and handed me a piece of paper — designed to look like a currency bill — and asked:

“I have a fake million dollars for you, for a real million-dollar question.”

That caught me off guard. But I thought, why not play along?

“What’s your million-dollar question?” I asked, neatly folding the bill and tucking it into my shirt pocket with the gravity of a man finishing up a financial transaction.

“Do you think you will go to Heaven?”

Ah. Religious angle. Classic Farmers Market ambush.

Unfazed, I said, “No.”

He was clearly prepared for this. “Do you want to go to Heaven?”

I did the math quickly. Say “Yes,” and he pounces on exactly what I need to do to get there. Lengthy conversation. Cold samosas.

So I smiled and said, “No.”

This one he wasn’t ready for.

“No??? …Why not???” he stammered.

Honestly, I wasn’t ready for it either. But I made the best of it.

“All my friends are in the other place.”

Even he couldn’t stop laughing. Which gave me the exact cover I needed to laugh along, politely excuse myself, and rejoin Sharmila — million dollars richer, and with my eternal destination firmly sorted out.

Category: Downtown Activities, Humor | LEAVE A COMMENT