Fairly funny, I thought
Nostalgia ain’t what it used to be any more
Walking back from the grocery store with a bag in my hand early in the morning, I had a few throwbacks to the days of growing up in India. I instinctively knew then that just like my dad, I would someday be walking to a grocery shop to do the shopping too. I had just not bargained it to be in America and certainly not me in shorts!
The picture down the street reminded me of those days in India too. There were many other folks going to and fro from the grocery shop and a few people out for their morning walks. Admittedly, if my dad did what many of them were doing, the neighborly kids would have walked up and asked “kaku, aapnar kaaney oi saada comma duto ki?” (“Uncle, what are those two white comma-looking things in your ears?”). For, everybody seemed to be walking and talking – and flailing their arms in what seemed, from a distance, like an animated discussion with nobody in particular. Even the homeless guy in front of the grocery shop was going “Stop doing that! THAT IS MY ACT!!”
The reason I had gone to the grocery shop this early was to grab a carton of barista milk. I was running low on my stock for the morning cappuccino. I came home and Sharmila, measuring me up from top to down, quickly asked
“Did you get the eggs?”
“No. You did not ask me to.”
“Yes, I told you last night.”
Those days, no sooner would have my dad come home than my mom would start pointing out he had missed some items from the list she had made for him. That list, as it turns out, did go with him to the market but never came out his pockets there. He worked from his memory and he ad libbed a few items.
Back to market he would go.
Life, I feel this morning, has gone one full cycle for me.
If only I had a cycle like my dad used to have to go to the market.
Oh! Wait!!
That be me!!!
The real reason I started biking
Polish spellings – a spellcheck’s worst nightmare!
In Polish, I think, attending to details is referred to as “crossing your ‘l’s and hooking your ‘c’s”. Also if you are ever stuck trying to remember the spelling of a Polish word, you can put in a “w”. More likely than not you will be right. And if you ever get to a “c”, without fear or favor, put down a “z” immediately.
Come again?
That be our Jay Jay !
Car tech shock: I can run but I cannot ride
Got into the new car in the garage this morning. The idea was to take it to the running trailhead for a long run. (I would run, not the car, of course!). The sheer array of electronics and gadgetry was unnerving. Before even I could shift the car into gear, it started doing all sorts of things. Which was very distracting.
Speaking of distractions, the first problem was I could not find where the gear shift handle was. I am used to a big gear shift handle that you authoritatively put in reverse in full command. The car then faithfully follows as it takes you out on the driveway. After some fiddling around, I realized it is a small little thumb paddle. That did not elicit a lot of confidence from me.
Pulled it back. And the car moved forward!! Whoa! Near incident with the garage wall!!
Apparently, I pull back to go forward and pull forward to go back. I felt like yelling at the car. I did not do it though. I was too afraid that the car might take my yelling as well thought out instructions and start following them.
Eventually, I was on the driveway. Fortunately, the steering wheel is round in shape and there are the two pedals for acceleration and brakes where you would expect them to be. So, it was a bit uneventful after that.
Till I called my brother.
First of all, I said “Hey Siri. Call my brother”. His phone started ringing. But instead of my Airpods, the ringing was coming from the car speakers. Being totally new to this, I tried to switch the phone to my Airpods. Eventually gave up and started using the car phone system.
“Can you hear me properly? Any road noise?” I asked my brother.
“Crystal clear. Are you driving?”
“I am. I am talking thru this new car system. I do not have bluetooth on.” (In India, if you say you do not have bluetooth on, it is assumed you mean you do not have your Airpods/earpods on).
“I have had a 17 year technology gap. So, I am still getting used to it.”
“What are some of the new things?”
“Here is a crazy one. I can not only talk to you thru the car – which works with my phone – I can operate the car from the phone!”
“Meaning?”
“Well, imagine we are having lunch at South City Mall.” (This is a mall near by brother’s place in Kolkata)
“Ok”
“And the car is getting fried outside in the hot summer sun”
“Ok”
“After lunch, as we pay the bill, I can tell the car thru my phone to get started and get the air conditioning going. We will be back in a few minutes.”
He thought for a while. Then started laughing.
“What happened?” I demanded to know.
“E deshe o gaari cholbe na” (That car won’t work here in this country)
“Why not?”
“We are eating at South City?”
“Yes”
“And you start the car from the restaurant?”
“Yes, I can do that thru my phone and the cloud”
“And the car will start itself?”
“Yes. And turn on the AC too.”
“And there is nobody there in the car?”
“No. we are at the restaurant, remember?”
“Hnya. Lokey ‘BHOOT BHOOT’ korey chilliye paalabey. Aar jabar somoy duto dhil merey jaabey.”
In summary, my brother is convinced that if my car suddenly started itself out of nowhere, everybody around it would sprint for their dear lives screaming at the top of their lungs that the car has been possessed by a ghost. And for good measure would throw a few brickbats at the ghost in the car too while showing a clean pair of heels.
To be safe, I switched off the remote option after reaching the trailhead.