#1. The biggest difficulty I have with silence is that I cannot interact with strangers. In fact, when you are unable to talk, upon coming across a stranger, your first reaction is to withdraw. At least mine is. Because I will not be able to hold on to an interaction. How am I going to any new friends now?

#2. When you want to say something, drawing attention to yourself is very difficult. You can be in the same room but your only way to say that you have to say something is by clapping or snapping your fingers. If you happen to have three dogs around, that is guaranteed to result in chaos.

#3. When outside, you are totally dependent on technology. I have to carry my iPhone with me all the time. Whether neighbors say something or the barista friends in coffee shops greet me, I have to flash out a screen to say “Temporarily Speech Impaired”. Took Tuey out for a walk early morning today. Forgot my phone at home. Quite a few folks must have thought I was in a foul mood given my non-reactions or simple head nods to questions that clearly demanded longer answers!!

#4. Also, I realized I like writing. I mean, I really like writing. I am constantly with a fountain pen and a pad or on my blog editor. Re-reading some of those, I further realize that, much like the wine in my favorite airlines, what I lack in quality, I certainly make up in quantity!!

This might be as good a clue as any to stop writing any further here 🙂

Last night I had gone off to sleep feeling like a bout of cold was coming on to me. That would not help my situation. I can ill afford to sneeze right now. Sharmila had thoughtfully bundled me away in bed with night cap, throat scarf and all that. She can be a bit loving that way.

Woke up blithe as a lark at 5AM like everyday. Which is about midnight for her. Went to the closet to grab some jackets. Did not bother to put any lights on. Usually the family is fast asleep when I give Tuey and Bogga their morning walk for bathroom break. The jacket hangar swung and hit against the wall and made a sharp noise.

Which woke up Sharmila. Well, physically she got up. But her consciousness was fast asleep. Or, more accurately, trying to get out of the stupor.

She realized that I was fumbling in the dark in the closet. Her mind was still in the mode of “this is an usual morning”.

“Are you going to the gym?” she asked.

Now, lest you forget, I cannot speak. So, there I was, waiting for her to realize that I cannot answer.

Her consciousness was fighting its way to the present. I think it remembered we have three dogs at home.

“Are you giving the dogs a walk?”

I stood there helplessly in the dark looking in her direction in general.

A few more seconds. Her mind was almost there.

“How is your cold feeling?” Obviously, she had recollected last night.

Still no answer from me. For a couple of seconds, I was wondering what to do. You know, I cannot just go in the dark, shake her up and say “I cannot talk.” That would beat the whole purpose.

Finally, she blurted out. “Oh! Sorry. I forgot!”

“Bingo!” I muttered to myself as I walked away.

One more day of adventure begins!

The otolaryngologist entered my pre-op area. I had recognized him from a distance and had already waved at him. Like my regular doctor, he is very personable and has a great sense of humor. Instantly, we started talking about Thanksgiving plans and all that.

“So, Mr. Roy, you understand why you are here right?”
“Yes, we will take out the growth in my voice mail box.”
“Indeed”

He explained once again the non-surgical choices I had (including laser) and confirmed that I wanted the surgery.
We went over the chances of things going wrong and what might be the worst case scenarios.

“I am committed, Doctor. Let’s go for it.”

“Okay. We will do the Sinatra option then”

“Sinatra option? What is that?” I asked.

“Well, we take the growth out and seal with nearby tissue in a way that if Frank Sinatra had come here, he would be singing back on stage in two weeks’ time”.

“Sinatra option it is, then Doctor”.

—

For my Bengali friends: সেই থেকে আমি হন্যে হয়ে একটা গানের মাস্টার খুঁজছি !!

(For the Bengali challenged: I have been looking for a music teacher ever since)

1. Dogs care very little about hand signals or sign language
2. After I am thru, my family can take any of your families in a game of Charades.
3. Salad places like Salata are completely out. (this is where you have to pick each ingredient in your salad)
4. Some of my friends are not doing the math before calling me to wish me a speedy recovery
5. I am very scared to go to the airport now. If I see something, what should I do?

Imagine this… you have to stay completely silent for 2 weeks. This is not like your silent retreat kind of thing. You are home. Free to go around doing your usual stuff at home and office as long you do not use your vocal chords. This is due to a medical surgery – but you are guaranteed full recovery at the end of it. So, you do not have to worry about health complications from this.

Well, this is what I am going thru.

Of course, being silent means I have to slow things down. Also, I have a bit of extra time at hand since I cannot do any strenuous physical exercises – so no running or gym and all that.

Now, my question is – how would you use this as an opportunity? What are some of the ideas you have for me that I can use this to come out with a better version of me?

So far, I have started learning ASL. What else?