30 October 2024

Why I almost broke into a dance in the doctor’s office

In a streak of single minded determination, I tried going after the unwanted protrusions in my body – all this week. Some poet, in an inspired moment, no doubt has written “Deformities, thy name is Rajib” or something of similar import. After throat, came the wrist.

This thing on my wrist came up around the same time I got into trouble with my throat. And also around the time I started bicycling. Since it was not hurting, I did not care much about it. But when I met my friend Avijit in Australia (who is in the medical industry), he had advised me to see a doctor although his guess was it is entirely benign.

There I was, in front of an orthopedic surgeon. First, I had to get the X rays done. Then the assistant came in. Abbey was her name. Very friendly, young lady who always wanted to be in the medical field. By the time she was done taking all my vitals and writing down the notes, I had figured out her entire life. Or most of it at least.

Presently, the doctor came. Believe it or not, for about 15 minutes we talked about PE firms!! And we had a good debate on “PE industry… is it really a Ponzi scheme?” In his defense, he finally did bring me back to my persistent swelling.

After the consultation, we looked at the options and unlike the throat outgrowth, here we basically decided to just live with it. I did not care about the grotesque look (it is on brand with my image of not caring about my looks) and it does not give me any pain anyways.

The doctor left and Abbey came in. She handed me some paperwork, printouts of my X-rays and a business card in case I changed my mind and wanted to go ahead with the surgery anyways.

“What was the diagnosis, Mr. Roy?”

“This is a cyst”. And an inspired moment, I added in a sing song voice… “Ganglion style” 🙂

(It is a Ganglion cyst but I am sure you get the musical reference).

Both of us laughed out loud!!

Category: Musings | LEAVE A COMMENT
29 October 2024

The fine art of choosing between medical options

“Good news, Mr. Roy. There is no cancer!”
“And, what is the bad news?”, I asked my otolaryngologist, mildly worried
“Well, we still have to go in and take it out”, he said sympathetically.

I kept on staring at the small outgrowth in my voice box showing up brilliantly in the big monitor. A few minutes back, I had to go thru the uncomfortable procedure of cameras going down my nose and diving deep in the voice box and then video recording all the muscle movements as Joey (doctor’s assistant) instructed me to make all sorts of weird noises.

All this came about when I reported to my general physician about breathing shortness while talking. I thought he would take me thru all sorts of lung and heart tests to look at abnormalities. Instead, he asked a few questions and did the initial diagnosis. The logic of which was pure and I was struck by how quickly he narrowed it down.

“Are you still running?” he had asked.
“Yes. Although miles have gone down and so has speed. Also, I have started biking.”
“Good. Good. Good. Are you feeling any shortness of breath while running or biking – more than what it used to be a year back?”

It suddenly occurred to me. I have had no discomfort doing any exercise. Only when talking – especially in the morning, on Zoom calls or phone calls.

“Actually no.” I said, a bit perplexed myself.

He was clear in his mind though. “Well, there you go. Your lungs and heart are fine. There seems to be a problem in the voice box and you are having to take more effort to push the air thru. I would ask you to immediately see my friend Dr. Law”.

And there I was as Dr. Law, laid down the law for me on a surgery.

I was too busy staring at the video and in complete awe of how the whole thing works. I guess I had asked one too many question. The doctor asked his assistant to instruct the scheduler to give him ten minutes. She stepped out. He took off his gloves and manipulating the video frame by frame, patiently explained to me the different muscles that come together to make noise. He showed me how my flaps were closing asymmetrically compared to another video he had. And all this because of the outgrowth. I could have sat there for another hour and learnt how the whole laryngitis area works.

But I was struck with another question.

“Without biopsy, how did you know it is not cancer?” I asked getting a bit worried that I was taking too much of his valuable time.

I guess doctors do live by the maxim “Treat the patient, not the disease.” Because he doubled down on showing me pictures of what a cancer in that area would look like. The surface dryness, the shape of the outgrowth and all that.

“You match none of the three mandatory symptoms. I will return my degree if proven wrong.”

Somewhat assured by his confidence, I returned to our question in hand…

“So, what are our options?”

“Well, Option 1 is surgery. We will go thru your mouth and take it out. 100% chance of recovery.”

“What are the risks?”

“Negligible. No more and no less than other options.”

“Can it come back after the surgery?”

“Very rare. We might see one case in three to four years. Usually always benign.”

“Post surgery, will there be any restrictions – like eating and all that?”

I suddenly remembered that Dr. Vine in Dallas had told me I had to stop drinking wine for the medicine (Methotrexate) that he was going to put me on to combat the onset of psoriatic arthritis. I landed up getting him to refer me to another doctor who would do a deal with me – half a glass of wine every evening, half the dose of medicine, twice the time of recovery and every Monday drawing of blood to keep a watch on the liver.

“Well, we do not want any scars in that area immediately after surgery. So, you cannot talk for 5 days.”

“Come again?”

“No talking for 5 days. Absolute silence.”

“Well, Option 2 it is then, doctor!” I declared without even hearing what that option was!!! So much for my intellectual curiosity.

This had nothing to do with learning. I was in no mood to make Sharmila THAT happy.

Or my office friends, for that matter!!!

Category: Musings | LEAVE A COMMENT
9 October 2024

I am not saying this really happened at my house, I am just saying

The office calls ran a bit late due to time difference with the other end. Finally, at 9PM we ambled towards downtown Alpharetta and presently, settled down in one of the Taverns. Some MLB playoff game was playing on the TV and I partook of one of their specialty cocktails.

Back at home, she got busy with the dog who, was unfortunately, fighting an ear infection. And I opened the refrigerator door, somewhat desultorily, I might add, devising ways to kill the aftertaste of the aforementioned cocktail.

There were some nice Indian sweets right in front of me virtually screaming “Take me Take me”. Somehow, the prospect of eating sweets did not appeal to me. Has not had for over three decades. Closed the door and went to the pantry looking for some salty food. Finally, grabbed a few salty nuts and threw them into my open mouth.

As I closed the pantry door, I was swiftly accosted…(I learnt that treating ear infections for dogs does not take as much time as I thought)

“What are you doing?”

“Oh! I was looking to get rid of the drink from the palate”

“There are some good sweets in the fridge”

“Yeah! I saw that.”

“And…?”

This is where I made good on a comeback moment that I had been waiting for. At least a couple of days.

I casually dropped in my answer – “Oh! this lady we both know mentioned to me the other day that I am getting a beer belly”.

Predictably, she laughed out aloud and looked at me. She obviously remembered.

Unpredictably (for her), I did not respond. Just kept chewing those salty nuts nonchalantly.

It had its effect.

The mood started changing like the Fall weather. Slow at first and then rapidly.

The laughter was the first to die. Then the grin got wiped out.

All sorts of doubts started creeping in her mind. That frown said it all.

“WHICH LADY TOLD YOU THAT?”, she demanded to know.

My good job having been done, I went upstairs and made a beeline for the bed.

Went under covers to squelch the squeals of laughter.

Our comforters are pretty thick that way.

Category: Musings | LEAVE A COMMENT
25 August 2024

A powerful message from Rory Sutherland

I am sure you too, like I, have a few people that you look forward to talking to. For me, they tend to be folks who have great wisdom that I can learn from. Most are younger than me but ways ahead of me in terms of questioning commonly accepted social norms, fearlessness in crafting their own ways, sheer independence in thinking and the ability to argue two sides of an argument.

Today was such a person’s birthday – Uttara. We spoke for the better part of half an hour and I came away re-inspired to question everything that I do and get a deeper understanding of my own biases. We talked a lot about the default mode we set ourselves in when it comes to spending the most valuable and the most personal assets we have – our time, our body and so on.

Right after that talk, I went for a run and put on a talk by Rory Sutherland on my Airpods. Usually, after about 5-10 minutes, I get into the mood of running and tuck away my phone and Airpods in the waist pouch. Today, though, I got hooked on to the message. So much so, I listened to it twice during my run and then drive back home.

Here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bc9jFbxrkMk

Uttara, if you are reading this, you might find an interesting take he has, and some counter intuitive research studies on work commute!!

24 August 2024

Early morning sitting out

Our neighborhood has a lot of nature and sitting spots around trails, parks etc. Given that temperatures are starting to cool off, these days, instead of practicing mindfulness with a cup of cappuccino in our balcony, I walk to one of the benches and enjoy the breaking of dawn. The cicadas and the birds provide most of the background noise. Plus some last few frogs who have not retired yet. The glistening of sprinkler water on the long blades of grass look beautiful.

Want Jay Jay to join me too but he is too deep in his sleep this time of the day.

Category: Musings | LEAVE A COMMENT
23 August 2024

This be my 10,000th post

What started way back in 2005 as an experiment to write down my reflections from job life during one of those year offs, soon turned out to be a journal for writing down the small details of life as I was experiencing them. From all those strangers I met during my travels, those chance meetings, the quirky hobbies, those poems and their translations, those math and map puzzles, the books I read… a lot of tiny bits of memories are engraved in this blog (https://www.rajibroy.com).

Some day, when I lose most of my physical abilities, hopefully reading the posts will serve as a powerful reminder of what a great life I had.

May be, progeny will read this and get a glimpse of what life looked like for one ordinary and uninteresting person. While chuckling at how archaic this old technology called “internet” was!

Category: Musings | LEAVE A COMMENT
20 July 2024

I loved the bus journey. The train? Not so much!

The good news is that I got 10 hours of road time with Niki. The bad news is that means my car is still sitting at the airport. Instead of bothering Sharmila and Nikita to take me there, I decided to change up my life a little and take public transportation.

Had to start from the very basics – like downloading the app to catch a bus and all that. The bus stop is about a couple of minutes walk from my house. Loved that journey. This is the second time I took MARTA bus. Being able to see all the familiar scenes, except now I am much higher and have long glass window panes was inexplicably exciting. Experiencing the bus stop to drop off or pick up a passenger and even watching how each passenger go thru the decisioning process of which seat to take was strangely enjoyable. But the best part was speeding down the highway!!!

The train journey – which should have been even more interesting – was marred by the fact that I quickly became queasy. Both Niki and I suffer from car sickness. One of the rare times when I had taken Marta train in the past, it was so bad that I had to get off at a station and take the next one after stabilizing myself.

Maybe I should go around in the buses randomly just to … you know, ummm…for no particular reason at all.

By the way, the street you see in the picture is where I live.

Category: Musings | LEAVE A COMMENT
27 June 2024

My experiment with digital detox – chapter 1

Have you tried this?

In an effort to wean myself away from the addiction to digital devices, I have been trying a few things. Some have worked better than others. This one seems to be effective.

I read somewhere that one part of digital intoxication is the bright colors on the screen that we get attracted to. Who, amongst us has not seen that red small circle light up and immediately felt the urge to go check the new messages?

So, two weeks back, I learnt how to turn my iPhone to black and white. Quickly, I realized that I had a problem. While taking pictures or solving Wordle, I desperately needed color. So, spent some more time to write up two shortcuts (you can see them on the right). Now, literally with a press of an icon, I can make my phone turn black and white or colored.

The results have been more effective than other things I have tried. To be fair, we have to see if this is a long term effect or my brain with all its neuroplasticity will quickly go back to the bad habits.

As of now, with authority, I can tell you that when I glance at a black and white screen, I have zero urge to pick it up. I cannot even read the icons well enough let alone notice there are apparently bright red notification counters!

Have you ever tried this? Did it work for you?

What other tricks have you tried for digital detox?

Category: Musings | LEAVE A COMMENT