It is in the low sixties. It has been cloudy the whole day. And they are jumping into the pool!!!

A couple of days back, I was making coffee for Sharmila and the inlaws and observed something. First, as a background, my FIL has great intellectual curiosity and has the most open mind to learning new things among my parents and the inlaws. And he is the eldest of them all!

I had set the milk carton down to fix Sharmila’s coffee. My FIL read up everything written on the carton box and then pointed the part that I have attached a photo of explaining to my MIL – “Taar maaney je goru-ke antibiotic khaoano hoini emon gorur dudh tomay deyoa hochhey”. And added “Aar amader deshey to sokaley uthei bachhagulo duto antibiotic kheye nay” 🙂

Roughly speaking, it means – he explained to my MIL that the milk you are being given comes from only those cows who have not been administered antibiotics. And then added that, back in Bengal, kids wake up in the morning and first thing they do is take a couple of antibiotics 🙂

It is funny only if you realize the culture in Bengal. (Not sure if this is true for the rest of India). In Bengal, everybody over 12 years is a self-declared doctor. Given that almost all medicine is over the counter, people gorge themselves on medicine (the knowledge of which is gained thru crowdsourcing with their friends) at the slightest sign of the oncoming of an ailment. Especially “Thanda laaga”. Or “ombol” for that matter 🙂 (common cold and indigestion).

It would not have been this funny to me had it not been the morning call to my brother where he talked about his elder son having dripping nose. “School jaabey?”, I asked. (“Will he go to school?”). He responded “Hnah! sokaley ekta antibiotic charge korey diyechhi”. I am not even going to bother translating that 😉

For the first time, my MIL has been able to shake off her jet lag. She came into the kitchen early at 6 am as Sharmila and I were sipping coffee and chatting softly. The first thing MIL did was start complaining about “Kaal-ke tor baba khub-se tenechhe” meaning, “last night your dad (referring to FIL) had too much to drink”. For the first time this trip, she woke up before FIL. And she immediately started complaining that he is sleeping too much. And that alcohol is to be blamed 🙂

Sharmila, of course, had to protest (not sure why she cannot just hang back and observe and have fun)! First thing she pointed out was that MIL slept for a solid four hours the previous evening. Maybe that is why she got up early. MIL’s response was classic  – FIL slept even more the previous evening. Sharmila pointed out that the three of us were in the backyard for a clear two hours before MIL strolled in the last evening. MIL claimed that she was lying down most of the time – not sleeping. And in any case, FIL went to sleep before her. Further, she pointed out that FIL was snoring and sleeping uncontrollably due to all the drinks we three had last evening.

Sharmila missed another golden chance. Instead of baiting her mother a little longer, she blurted out – “But dad did not even have anything to drink last night. Rajib gave him some wine. But I had to have it since he did not touch it”. MIL looked at her for some time, decided that she was indeed telling the truth and finally settled down with her cup of tea. The “gojgoj kora” had stopped 🙂

And in all this commotion of arguments and counterarguments between mother and daughter, my FIL woke up and walked into the kitchen half sleepy wondering what the heck was happening 🙂

It is awesome fun to watch this family from a distance 🙂

From her collection…

In American culture, I am told by my American friends that “relaxing ” and “inlaws” are rarely found in the same sentence 🙂

Relaxing on a Sunday afternoon by the pool with some old “Anurodher Asar” Bengali songs with my inlaws…

So far we are 3 for 11 in terms of recognizing the old singers. My mother in law is blaming the sound speakers for that 🙂

By the time we showed up for this art exhibition where Sharmila is an invited artist, one of her paintings was already sold. I was taking a few pictures on my iPhone of that painting with the Sold tag, when a lady came up and said “Please do not take a photo. I already bought it” (I guess she was afraid that I might make copies of it or something).

So, I told her “It’s okay. I have a lot of photos of this painting. My wife is the artist” 🙂

“Oh! Then it is okay”, she said, relieved.

Anyways, I got hold of Sharmila and introduced her to her patron and customer 🙂

And that concludes our 21st wedding anniversary.
Sharmila thought it was our 22nd.
My mother in law berated us for our drinking.
My father in law had a few sips of gin and tonic when my mother in law was not looking.
Sharmila and I went to relax with our “family outside our family” – friends at Milton’s.

… in other words, nothing has changed in 21 years.

I still awaiting my third ring of marriages (after engagement ring and wedding ring)… suffering 🙂

“Ekushe Aayeen”

The Rule of 21

In Shiva’s homeland, the rules are quite strange, as I can truly attest,
If someone slips, and falls by err, police come by to arrest.
Your ordeal continues inside of a court room,
Where judges are ready to fine you a fortune –
21 rupees is the price you must pay,
but wait till you hear what they charge in the day –
for sneezing before six, a ticket is needed,
without this in hand, you will be ill-treated –
they beat you like drums, and snuff up your nose,
you sneeze not just once, but 21 blows!
The fine for teeth-chattering is 4 rupees flat,
for growing a mustache a bit more than that –
a hundred nickles, paid out in cash,
plus 21 prayers with both hands clasped.

While walking the streets, your steps cannot wander,
a step left or right and the king is called yonder.
He summons his guards who come in with a run,
to force you to sit while you sweat in the sun.
There is some relief, as they offer some water,
unfortunately so much that its not worth the bother.

But this isn’t the worst of it, by any means really,
for those who write poems, their punishment is silly,
they’re placed in a cage under strict lock and key,
with no chance of exile, or option to flee.
A hundred Orrisans are placed, so it’s fabled,
proclaiming exhaustively the multiplications table.
And then there’s more math as you tend to a store,
account for the sales – it’s a menial chore.

One last offense, that’s punishable by law,
Is snoring at all – it’s seen as a flaw.
The glue from a bilva tree, the dung from a cow,
It’s all used quite viciously, here’s how:
they rub it in coarsely, the hair of an offender,
who’s tied to a tree and spun like a blender.
For 21 spins he goes round and round,
and 21 hours till his feet touch the ground.

Translation by Sujoy and Chandana Chatterjee

That is my father in law. He heard from his daughter that we get deer in our property. Ever since early morning, he has been sitting by the window with tea waiting for one measly little deer to show up… 😉