Any one of you has ever gone out for a drink or dinner with me knows one standard routine of mine. Any time the person at the bar or the restaurant helping us asks “What else can I get for you?”, my immediate response is “A million dollars would help”.

In the minimum, it creates some laughter or at least a light hearted banter to break the ice. The best response till the other day was when the young lady serving us lunch at a place near Perimeter Mall stopped in her tracks, looked at me and said “Okay. But it will cost you two”. I was floored by her presence of mind. Not to speak of her negotiating skills 🙂

I said “till the other day”. Well, the other day, I finally met my match in Olivia. She is the Assistant Manager at Milton’s Cuisines – which is Sharmila’s and my Sunday night dig. She must have observed me before every weekend. Because that day when she asked me the same question and I gave the same knee jerk reaction – she promptly fished out a faux million dollar bill!!

Game, set and match!!

We laughed a lot and got her to take a picture with me and the bill. Now that I have met my match, I am in the market for some more interesting responses to “What else can I get for you?”. Any suggestions?

Early morning flight to New York, day long meetings, early dinner with Natasha and then I was tired enough to want to go to bed to get up early for another early morning flight the next day. And the hotel was still about 45 minutes away. But there was one more important thing to complete before I hit the sack.

There was this guy who I wanted to see. He was my classmate in second grade – that goes back all the way to 1974. After a search for over three decades, I had finally located him in New York a month back. (Imagine that – looking up all over the world to only find that he lives this close to you).

He had some office meetings starting at 9PM (with HongKong). Which meant, I would have about half an hour with him. Decided the give it a shot. Called him, took a Uber and waited near his apartment complex. It was already 8PM.

In a few minutes, among the crowd emerging, I thought I could recognize a guy. Two more steps and I knew it was the same guy from second grade! The face has only changed a little and I would have been able to pick him up from a crowd.

“Pulak Fool-ees-stop Sinha”?

He gave out a loud laughter in response. We hugged each other and went to the bar next door.

“Do you remember the incident of “fool-ees-stop”?”, I asked.

“Yes. I do. I can’t believe you remember it!”

You see we had a very strict second grade class teacher (home room teacher in this country’s lingo) – Mrs. Shastri. We were all pretty scared of her – except one guy called Mukundan – who I have not been able to locate yet. In any case, Mrs. Shastri would make us stand up and read out passages – to help us with our pronunciation. (Someday, we will talk about an Indian correcting another Indian’s pronunciation accent – but that is a joke for another day).

It was Pulak’s turn. He smartly got up and started to read out a passage. In those days, we used to read out the punctuation marks too. Not sure why. For example, the previous statement would be read as “Not sure why Period”. Or rather “Not sure why Full Stop” in India.

Not sure what happened to Pulak – or was it his natural drawl that time, he landed up reading the first sentence and instead of “Full Stop”, he said “fool-ees-stop”. The rather dour Mrs. Shastri immediately barked back – “What do you mean fool-ees-stop”? That made all of us giggle. In spite of the gravity of the moment, Pulak gave out a little giggle too. And that just further infuriated Mrs. Shastri!!

We had a great laugh about that incident last night. I was thrilled to bits to have been able to see him after so many years of search. We caught up with our last few decades, our families, our parents and our old school batch mates.

Out of respect for his time, I brought the meeting to a close at sharp 8:30 and promised to come by and see him again.

Here is one relationship, I am glad to note, that has not met its “fool-ees-stop”, yet!!

Dinner with Natasha done, I walked her to her dorm.

“Do you want to come up to my room”?, she asked.

I was, of course, going to accept any time she might have for me. So, I said – “Sure”.

She explained to me the process. Once we get to her dorm, apparently, I would face a strict security person who would check and keep my id. She warned me not to talk too much and just answer the questions I was going to be asked succinctly.

Not particularly difficult rules, I thought. I went with the game. But you know, by now, what kind of a rule follower I am. I had about a couple of seconds as Tasha fumbled for her id in her bag. I glanced at the security person’s name plate and my first words to him were “Bangaali naaki?” (Are you a Bengali?).

You can only imagine the dismay on Natasha’s face. None of my daughters like it when I talk to strangers. And talking to the security person at her own dorm? That could only spell trouble.

By now, I was on a roll. Got to know Mr. Majumder and his background in two sessions – a few minutes then and a lot more time before I left the dorm. Got to know about Mr. Majumder and his family. He is from Bangladesh who moved to NY some time back. Has three kids and he has worked hard to put them thru college (his youngest kid is in NYU). His focus on kids’ education reminded of my dad all the time.

After having a really great time getting to know him, I finally had to say Bye. Before I said bye, he gave me his number and asked me to call me if he can be helpful ever.

Once a dad, always a dad!!! He realized that I might get worried about my daughter and that he might be helpful.

That was a very nice gentleman I had the fortune of meeting today.

Funny part, Natasha stood next to me thru the entire conversation listening to us. And apparently, rather impressed too. When I talked to her later, she told me that her roommate wanted to make sure that Mr. Majumder realized that she is Natasha’s roommate. Apparently, it is a good thing to be on the positive books of the security person!!!

The author of the book presented a copy of the book to me herself this morning. The story was, of course, hers. Each page illustration was also by her. (available in Amazon in paperback and Kindle). Here is the twist… the author is Trisha Rao – a 9 year old kid (she authored the book when she was 8 year old) from India. She is the daughter to two of my dearest friends and old colleagues – Rajesh and Sumana.
I knew the day was going to be great when Sumana had written to me from India that they were going to be in Atlanta for a couple of days and she would like to meet up and put in a run with me. You see, Rajesh and Sumana were my colleagues from the first start up company I had worked in. That goes back way too many years. Our professional paths separated but we have kept up the personal relationships. In fact, Sharmila and I visited their house in San Diego twelve years back and I had a breakfast with Rajesh around 2010 during one of those business trips. Then they moved to India.
Early in the morning, Sumana and I hit the road for a few miles. I have always admired her for how she grew from the back office side of the business to the sales side. Those are journeys that many have fallen on the wayside of. Caught up during the run with her family in India, the transition to India and so many other details about her that I always wanted to know,
And after the run, came the breakfast. That is when I met Trisha for the first time in my life and Rajesh after about six years. What was most inspiring was hearing Rajesh’s life journey – his physically challenged dad and his sister who I can relate to a lot more now since my mom is in a similar state. And how they all moved back to India to take care of their parents and family. And like everybody, they are getting to a point where they have to balance out the previous generation with the next generation. They probably will have to move back to US soon to ensure Trisha gets a great education. We had a great time exchanging notes on his sabbatical and the ones that I had had. To cap it off, Rajesh has taken to running too!
If there was a breakfast that I never wanted to end, it had to be this one. To quote Sumana – “Our passion for running is exceeded only by our zest for life”!!

This week, as you saw from my previous posts, I was in Sheboygan for a few days for our partners’ meet. On Monday evening – the night before the event was to start – I found myself with Julio thinking about what to do about dinner. The resort we were in was beautiful but eating there meant I was going to be interrupted all the time by the guests. Speaking of going out, this was Sheboygan we were talking about. Not too many choices.

Suddenly, I remembered about Blind Horse. Remember Yui – the girl who threw a dart in Japan and landed up in Kenosha? (Search for “Kenosha” in www.rajibroy.com). Well, I knew she did not work there any more but it was nevertheless a great place to eat. So Julio and I went for a fifteen minute drive to get to that place.

We were the only guests there. This was pretty late and of course, this was Sheboygan we were talking about. We sat at the bar to have dinner. I started telling Julio the story of Yui when our bartender overheard me and let us know that she had met Yui once when she joined the place.

After some chit chat between Julio and myself, I figured it would be good to know the new person too.

“What is your name?”
“Paula.”
One of the common ways for me to start a conversation for me is to find out where the person is from.
“That dark hair, you have… you are not from this part of the country are you? What is your lineage?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
For a moment I was wondering if she was trying to brush off an unwelcome intruder in her private life? No. She stood there smiling at us waiting for the next question!! (Actually, she is one of the most cheerful persons I have ever seen. Very witty, very smart and always smiling).

But it turns out Paula has very little idea about her biological parents. She was found in Milwaukee as a baby and then eventually adopted by a couple in Wisconsin. As you probably know by now, I think the world of parents that adopt.

“Tell me about your adoptive parents”.
I found out that they are as wonderful as I was thinking they would be. After adopting Paula, they adopted another child – her brother who is three years younger to her. He, as it turns out, is married to a lady who herself is adopted!! You want to guess from which country? India!!!

By now, Julio was into the conversation as much as I was. We were really intrigued by her life story. She has a daughter of 9 years. And she is a single mom.

That has to be a lot of hard work, I figured.
“How many jobs do you have?”
“Two”.

“Okay. Tell me what do you want to be when you grow up?”
She laughed at the concept that she has not grown up yet. But I was inspired by her answer. She wanted to go back to college and finish it. Apparently, she worked to earn thru her high school, went to college but dropped out after one year. Now she is waiting for her daughter to grow up a little and then she wants to go back to college.

“When you have a lot of money, what would you do with it?”, I asked her.
“Visit places.”
And it is then that she told us something – she has never been on a plane!! Of course, she is telling this to somebody who is on a plane literally every other day and is in a company that owns and flies planes!!!

Once again, I realized how lucky in life I have been.

But you always want the other person to have lots of luck too. So, here it is to you – Paula – go back to that college, get a degree and hopefully someday you will fly planes and see places that you have always wanted to see.

What do you know? Maybe Julio and I will hitch a hike in your plane!!!

For the rest of you, if you are in Wisconsin anytime and is in the mood for a mean Sazerac or a Manhattan, look up Paula Habeck at the Blind Horse.

The flight from Chicago was to leave at 6:45 pm. I had thirty minutes at hand and I was casually strolling along the sprawling airport just observing people. It was not normal for me to be on the road on a Friday evening and I had switched myself off from work. I had only a backpack with me and I was planning the reach the gate around 6:30 and be one of the last persons to get in.

As I casually shuffled towards my gate, suddenly a gentleman asked me “Are you from Illinois?”. I looked towards him and realized he was one of those folks that you will find at an airport often selling from a kiosk. In Atlanta, I have seen a few of them trying to sell Delta Amex cards. I assumed he was selling American Airlines credit cards. Usually, I would give a polite “Sorry, but I have enough cards” and move on. This time, I stopped and told him “No”. He asked me where I lived and I said Atlanta.

“You are the only person today who is not running to their flight. Everybody is in a hurry to get to their flight on a Friday evening”, he said.

“Yeah, I have a few minutes at hand. Anyways, there is going to be a crowd at the gate”, I said.

We said Bye to each other and I started walking to the gate again.

It was at that point I started getting some pangs of regret. He was a very nice guy, Why did he talk to me? He did not try selling anything to me. What was he selling anyways? I had a lot of questions. Halfway to the gate, I looked back and then looked at the watch. I had no chance of going back and talking to him again.

I guess Lady Luck was with me today. Upon reaching my gate, I noticed that my flight was delayed to 7:02. Seventeen extra minutes. I figured that was a sign. I walked back to the gentleman and his kiosk. He was busy doing something in his kiosk when I walked up to him and said “My flight is delayed. Would you have some time to spare for me?”.

And that is how we struck up a friendship. Found out that Doug is from Chicago and has spent all his life in a southern suburb of Chicago. He is between jobs and is doing this to bridge him through. Before this, he was in graphics printing. Very soft spoken, he came across as a very nice person.

I also realized that he was not selling credit cards. He was actually trying to convert customers to move to NRG – an energy company. I did the math quickly. Once he realized I was from Atlanta, I was not a potential customer for him. (NRG is not there in Atlanta). So, he had remarked about my apparent lack of hurriedness instead of trying to sell me NRG.

I was intrigued how effective was that method of selling that product.

“So, how many customers do you get in a day?”.

“Ten on a good day, two to three on a bad day”. That surprised me quite a bit.

It was at that point we talked about his previous job and how this is a temporary thing for him till he lands on his feet firmly again.

“Why did you come back to talk to me?”, he suddenly asked.

“Oh! I like making new friends. And I thought you were nice to me and I did not get to know you that time”.

“You are a very nice person too. I can see you are not from Chicago”

“Why?”, I asked half amused.

“Chicago people are very rude.”, he said, somewhat surprising me.

“No.”

“Yes, they are rude”.

And then he went on to explain the worst part of his job. “I hate the way people treat my like ####. You will be amazed how people will show me the hand and walk away. I know they are in a hurry. But why treat me like I am below them? I am just trying to do my job”.

I was not sure what to say. “I am sorry to hear that”, is all I could come up with. And a couple of exchanges later, I told him I had better gotten back to my plane. And managed to get a passerby to take a picture of us.

“I hope to meet you down the road again”, I said, as I waved him good bye for the second time.

As I slowly started my walk back to the gate, my mind flashed back to the numerous times I would be irritated by the sight of those credit card hawking folks at Atlanta airport and do everything to avoid eye contact. Even pretend to be on a call.

“I am just trying to do my job”…. those words of Doug kept coming back to haunt me. I realized that out of my fear of having to deal with an uncomfortable situation, how I have fallen terribly short in acknowledging another person as a human being just trying to earn a livelihood. Repeatedly so. How would I have felt if I was in their shoes?

In almost any encounters with a human being – any human being, we are not required to show grace and class. And that is the one good reason why I should be showing both. Every single time.

With very mixed feelings of regret in my own behavior but elated that I now have one more nice friend in my life, I finally walked into the plane. With the hope that I will be a better person next time when I see them.

And if any of you had nothing better to do than make  a new friend in Chicago O’Hare airport, swing by near Gate K7 or so and say Hi (and one from me too) to this gentleman in the picture. As he will tell you, his name is Douglas Smith.

Over the weekend, when we went to drop Natasha at NYU, I made some interesting friends – but then again, don’t I always? 🙂 One of our friends – Ishita – had opened up their apartment which is bang opposite the NYSE for us while they were in India. That was an incredible help – if not for anything else – just the logistics of storing stuff, getting stuff delivered and all that before we moved her in.

The first morning, I was up before everybody and decided to go out for a Starbucks. (I know, I am such a creature of habit !!). As I stepped out of the building, the building security guy opened the door for me. I just stopped there and made some polite chit chat and then told him that I am really not awake before I have my coffee – so I was going to get some coffee and then come back and talk to him.

I got my coffee and for good measure got him one too and started chatting with him. Was pretty fascinated by the whole conversation. My usual “So, where are you from?”, met with with an unexpected “Burkina Faso” reply. I had to stop for a second to get my geography right. That was the first time I had met anybody from Burkina Faso in my entire life!! My mind raced to remember what it was called before. After a few seconds, I told him – “You know, our geography teacher taught us about your country – but we remember your country as Upper Volta”. I distinctly remembered Mrs. Bhowmic teaching us about Ghana and its cocoa production and one of the neighboring countries called Upper Volta. I had asked her about Lower Volta and she had told me that there was no such country. That day, I had determined that Africa was a very confused continent. Albeit with some majestic elephants and lions 🙂 I was probably in eighth grade.

I found out that Brian Coulibaly (the young security guy we are talking about) had his entire family back in Burkina Faso and has been in America for a few years. He loves New York and will not move to any other place. An interesting side story to coffee – he told me coffee is good for me. He has been drinking since he was in single digits in age. Apparently, in western Africa, people start drinking coffee very early and is the equivalent of drinking tea in India or the Middle East. (Basically, you drink it many times but in much smaller amounts than we are used to in America).

He talked about their capital – Ouagadougou and their political system (apparently very corrupt with frequent coups and upheavals) and general economy (very poor country). I asked him about their President. He tried very hard but struggled to remember his name. We moved on to other topics about the country.

After spending a good 20 minutes I came back to our apartment. Later in the day, when we headed to NYU, he was gone.

The next morning though, as Niki and I stepped out to get some coffee (we were all up early – it was the move in day!!), he again opened the door for me and gave me the President’s name!! Apparently, he had to call up his mom that day to remind him of the name. I was suitably impressed. We got Nikita to take a picture of us.

I wish Natasha was there with me for her to realize – as great a day as it was going to be for her – how blessed she and we are in this country!!

P.S. I later Googled his country and found out an interesting factoid – a woman in his country bears 6 kids on an average!!!

I am often – and of late, increasingly – compared with my dad. Folks who know both of us mention how we look alike, our mannerisms are similar and we apparently, even talk the same way. But when somebody who I have not seen for 34 years, sees me down the street filled with a lot of people and immediately recognizes me simply by how I looked and walked from a distance, I have to believe that there is a lot of truth to what people say.

Yesterday, after all that driving and meetings and getting lost in the trails, it was getting late. But I really really wanted to meet this guy from my past. Unfortunately, I was at least forty minutes from where he was working and he was another forty minutes from his home. You know you were friends with somebody when they say – “Don’t worry. I will be there”. And that meant he had an hour and a half drive back home.

Not knowing how he would look – I had vague memories of Raja (Rajarshi) – I was looking around in the middle of all the boisterous crowds in Reston Towne Center on a Thursday evening – to see if I could spot him. Like I said, I had no need to worry. Even if he did not remember me, he remembered my dad.

The familiar “Bachchuda!” cry (incidentally, Bachchu is what my nickname was in Durgapur – actually still is – but nobody calls me by that name anymore) made me look to my sharp right and there he was – Raja – pretty much looking the same from so many years back. Not losing hair helps a lot!! And his first comment – after seeing me after 34 years – was “Ekabarey Roy-jethur moto”! (“Just like Roy Uncle”).

I was sixteen and he could not have been over ten way back in that February 1982 Saraswati pujo day when I had visited them for the last time. A few years back, we had left the neighborhood. But before leaving the neighborhood, we used to play soccer and cricket together – along with a few other kids from the neighborhood.

I had always wanted to meet him after I located him a year back. In spite of coming to the DC area so often, yesterday was the first time I got some time to meet him.

We told the bar lady that we were meeting after 34 years. She promptly took pictures of us. The rest of the evening, we drew up the neighborhood houses on a napkin and went house by house to see if we remembered everybody from that house and see if we knew where they all were. Many times I would fish out my iPhone, go to my blog and show him pictures of many of those people. In my “Intersection Point” series, I had met them much later, took pictures of and chronicled them in my blog.

The whole evening was like stitching together a rich tapestry of scattered memories from those days. We would recollect something – ask the other – do you remember that? do you remember this? and often would burst out laughing or loudly go – Yes, Yes Yes.

It was a good thing I had told the lady at the bar about our background. Instead of getting irritated every time we got boisterous with our laughter and Bengali, she would come over and take more candid pictures of us on our phones!!

Thank you Raja for taking the pains to drive that long to make it possible for me to meet you. Let’s see if we can pull off that picnic in the same spot from 1980 with all our neighborhood folks one last time in the next few years!!!

A couple of years back, Sourav – who went to seventh and eighth grade with me – had crossed the Canadian border with his family to spend a night with myself, my family and my inlaws when we were visiting Niagara Falls. He had become an instant hit with my inlaws with his traditional Bengali style “jomiye adda”.

He was in Atlanta for a couple of days and I had fixed to have dinner and drinks with him downtown. What he did not know is that I had been working on a surprise for him. There is another friend from our seventh and eighth days – Manbir (Manny) who now lives near Columbus, Georgia. I have met both of them only once after leaving school way back in the early eighties. I took a chance and it looked like Manbir might be able to make it this evening. I, however, kept it as a secret from Sourav.

The confusion started when I showed up at 7:45 at the bar that I had told both of them to come to. I went inside the bar but I could not find Manbir. Instead, i ran into Sourav. Imagine, my situation – I am on the phone with Manbir trying to pinpoint his location and Sourav is right in front of me and of course, I did not want him to get wind of it.

Just when this confusion was reigning supreme, a guy walks up to me saying “Isn’t that Rajib”? And I was like – “Abhijit”? Imagine the scene – Sourav standing in front of me wondering who they heck was I trying to locate in the hotel … Manbir talking to me on the phone that by now I had taken off my ears because I was completely bewildered that I was standing in front of a guy I went to Business school with and have never since 1991!!

Eventually, we sorted out everything. Manbir was in the wrong bar. Which was fixed quickly. Sourav was overjoyed to see him for the first time after 1980. Both of them were terrific athletes in our school and there were a lot of stories to remember. In between, I walked up to Abhijit (who was with his friend) to catch up with him too. Finally, before leaving, he came by where we were sitting. I had to ask the bar guy to take a picture of us.

And then we tried to locate some of our old school pictures. Believe it or not, in the lower pictures, the left one is Manbir and the right one has Sourav and me. Did I look nerdy or what?? 🙂

What a great evening it was though!!!