18 February 2017

Guess who I ran into?

In the evening after finishing up this week’s work, decided to go put in a few extra miles. Changed clothes in the trail bathroom and went in for the run. Somewhere in my second mile or so, I lifted by head and I thought I recognized the face of the runner who just passed me by the other way. Was it not Scott? I thought. Looked back but the runner kept on running.

For a few minutes, my mind meandered to thoughts about Scott. I had not seen for a long time. We used to work together. In fact, I wondered if he ever got my birthday wishes. It was his birthday a few days back and I had left a voice mail for him on his mobile phone. Made a mental note that I needed to shoot him an email to ensure that his phone number had not changed.

And that was that.

A few miles later, I turned around and was still a couple of miles away from my origin point, when I took a turn and ran into the same guy. This time, I was absolutely sure!! “Scott?”. “Rajib!”… We chatted for some time and I turned back again. We decided to run together to where he had kept his car and then he would drive me to where I had parked my car. In the meanwhile, we caught up on our lives.

After taking our mandatory picture together, I let him go. He was getting late in taking his parents out for dinner. Apparently, he takes his parents out for dinner almost every week. What a nice person!!

13 February 2017

Another disappointment leads to a new intersection point

Remember how I went to see Lavern at Phoenix – missed her – but landed up meeting Mikey after so many years? A somewhat similar thing happened again before I wrapped up my business trip last week.

The last meeting for the last day was over around 5PM. Dinner with office folks were set around 7PM. I had 2 hours. Of course, the first instinct was to check out another Gin distillery. The one that I had my mind on was Aviation. It is one of the original gin distilleries in Portland and is a pioneer of what is called American style gin. This style is lower on the juniper side and higher on the citrus front.

Google maps said they were open till 6 PM. Managed to convince Anand to drive us there. We probably reached around 5:20 or so. And they were closed!! With a big “Private Party” sign on it! I could see that there was nobody inside but there was no way to go in.

Totally disheartened, I was wondering what to do. I still had time. Anand suggested that we check out some other distillery. Instead, I suddenly remembered something. I asked him – “Isn’t the Doubletree nearby here?”. He confirmed that it was. (He has moved to Portland a few months back). “Let’s go. I will introduce you to a friend there”.

And that friend is somebody I had met about three years back. Joel was the bartender at The Den in the Marriott downtown hotel. One lonely evening when virtually no one was there, we got to know each other. I wrote up about him back in 2014. I still remember he teaching me a few new cocktails and I winning the contest of who could name the strangest vodka. (I said Sriracha vodka. Yes, there exists such a thing).

Presently, both Anand and I walked up into the Doubletree bar which was extremely crowded but we managed to get near the bar. The barman looked at us and asked “How can I help you?”. And the next thing he said was “Hey, it is you”!! He recognized me in one shot.

He even managed to get us two empty chairs at the bar. In between all the running around he was doing, we managed to catch up on each others’ lives. I had gotten to know his story about early childhood before. Now I found out that he has gotten married a few months back and more excitedly, is looking forward to his first European trip ever in a few more weeks.

I told him about my research on gins. In the meanwhile, he had my favorite evening drink made for me and Anand – an Old Fashioned. He taught me a different way of making it that he had learnt from two famous bartenders. Basically, you do not muddle the orange peel or the cherry – you just add them as garnish. The syrup and bittesr were in perfect proportions. Anand declared that it was the best old fashioned he ever had. It was certainly one of the best I have had.

In the end, he was getting busy and I had a dinner to go to. Joel lined up all the gin bottles he had to mark my research on gins and then Anand took a picture of both of us!!

That was a great time had meeting a person I had accidentally met and made friends with three years back. This meeting was far more deliberate (although luck was involved) and renewed our friendship!!

11 February 2017

Speaking of mixed messages…

So, I came back home. That was her cue to leave home. She dutifully took the daughter to the dance class.

But made the classical mistake of letting me know that she had cooked “ghugni”. You can check Wikipedia for this. And you will learn that there this is not a dish that can be rejected by somebody faint of the heart.

Let’s just say somebody finished the whole bowl of ghugni, taking full advantage of nobody else being at home. To speak of nothing of not having eaten any home cooked home for a week. And that somebody suddenly realized that she was going to be home….

Attempting for a soft landing, he sent the following message (see pic).

And he received the response in the pic.

The smiley was great! Maybe I was off the hook. But then came the ominous “almost home”. That can go either way. Right now, I am having pictures going thru my mind of a school teacher with her glasses down her nose and a stick in her hand reprimanding her student……

11 February 2017

The countdown never stops. You just reset the clock.

There are few things that qualify as being more “American” than being a new house owner. With a mighty mortgage interest to pay, I might add. It was barely five minutes that I had walked into my first house in Texas than when an elderly lady (turned out later I found out she was my dad’s age) came to introduce herself. That was my first meeting with our the-then-neighbor Lavern. Later, we got to know her daughter Melanye who was my age and Sharmila and Melanye had kids almost at the same time and we just became great neighbors. Lavern bought a Maltese dog. Natasha got so attached to it that eventually we had to get our own Maltese.

Unfortunately, life has a way to tear you apart. First, we left Dallas. But I kept up with Lavern. Never missed going by our house when business would take me to Dallas. Never missed talking to her on her birthday.

Then the walk thru the darkness started. She called me up one day to let me know that Melanye had met an untimely death. Frankly, I still block myself off from that and have not processed it totally. Jim – Lavern’s husband, had taken a turn for the worse. They moved to Phoenix. Then he passed away. She made me promise to her that I will visit her when I come to Phoenix.

The phone calls continued. And then one fine December 2nd, the call said that the number was not valid no more. No problem, I said… she has new numbers. So, I sent her an email. I know by rote her email id. I had helped her set up the AOL account. Mail bounced back!! I was helpless. I had no ability now to reach out to Lavern. In USA!!! I tried a few usual tricks – checked Facebook etc for her or her other daughter (I got to know her too). No luck!

For about three years, I continued to search the internet for property records and white pages to look for her. I had narrowed it down to one address but no phone number. And three years later, I was in Phoenix airport to drive to Tucson this week.  I had my math worked out. I would dash to the address – surprise her and in 45 minutes start screaming down I-10 for the Board member meeting in Tucson.

Except that she did not live in that address!! However – and there is a long story about who I met there – I will write about it later – but, I did find Lavern’s new address and that was all I needed. Presently, I pulled into a complex that has been built for seniors. After going thru security, my biggest problem was finding the house. I was going around in my car all over looking for house number 322. Stopped three people in the complex. Very old folks. But very helpful folks. Nevertheless, of no help to me since they did not know or remember how the numbering scheme worked in their place. One even had to yell at her husband to remind her what their own house number was. [Some day, I want to sit with that couple – you know – just to spend a little time with them]

In my frustration, I was going from street to street and one point, in my desperation, I backed out so hard, the wheel of my rental car hit something. I came out to check the damage. Fortunately, it was only the tires and rim that were scraped. Thanking my luck, I came back and sat down in the car. Looked up – and there it was – house #322. Hallelujah!!! Heaven knows, I needed that break!

Parked the car – not so legally, I think – there and ran in thru the gate.

Pressed the bell. No response.

“Lavern?”, I yelled. No response.

“Lavern?”, I yelled again hoping to wake her up from her afternoon sleep,

There was a muffled “Yes?”. Somebody was desperately trying to wake up from sleep.

Good news – somebody was there! Bad news – nobody that sounded like Lavern.

Very afraid that I had hit a wall, I bleated out “Lavern, this is Rajib here”.

“Huh”? The voice – a little more coherent – said.

You can imagine me. Here is a brown stranger barging into an Arizona house with a small but finite possibility of getting shot for mistaken identity. I had to quickly establish that I was not a burglar or anything. So, I put my office jacket on that I was carrying in my hand. Like that was going to help me against the bullet 🙂

“Lavern?”, was my next – and completely unthought thru step.

“Huh?”. This time the voice was clearer. And was certainly in the process of waking up.

Wait a minute, Rajib, I said to myself. You know that voice! Wait… Wait…Wait… and then I yelled

“Mikey? Is that you?”

“Yes”.

!!!!!!!

“Mikey, this is Natasha’s dad. Your next door neighbor from Coppell”.

The whole scenario changed!

“REALLY???” was the yell that came out from inside. He recognized me in on shot. A lot of noises inside the house later, out came a sleepy guy in sleeping clothes. And the only think I could recognize was his face.

“I can’t believe you came to see us!!!”, he said.

We hugged each other for what seemed like ages.

Over the next 15 minutes or so, we reconstructed her lives back. Turns out he moved from Texas to join a community college in Phoenix and live with his grandmother. He has plans of going back to Texas (Texas Tech to be precise) soon. Lavern, unfortunately, was at a bible study at that time. I missed her. But I got to see Mikey.

I apologize, I forgot to mention to you – the kids that Sharmila and Melanye had around the same time? – they are Natasha and Mikey. You can see why we were close. Thru the whole time, he kept saying – “I can’t believe you came to see us”. And I was like “I can’t believe I am with you”.

“I have something to show you”, I told him.

“What”?

You see the night before I started my weeklong business trip, I had searched my photo database and saved out a few pictures of Lavern from nearly 20 years back, hoping to show them to her when I met her. For whatever reasons, I found and saved some pictures of Mikey too! And the dog that inspired us to get Princess!!

I showed him the picture!

“That’s me?”, he asked.

“What do you think?”.

He is the guy in the red sweater with that Maltese dog, by the way!!!

I had to take leave soon. Else I would be late. But not before I had taken down Lavern’s new contacts.

An hour into the drive, I got the expected call from Lavern. We talked again like those good old days. And like those good old days, she asked me “Promise me you will come and visit me whenever you are in Phoenix”.

“Lavern, if I could keep my promise the first time after so many years, I certainly can do it the second time. You just keep yourself healthy. I will be back”.

And the countdown started….clocks had been reset….. again….

5 February 2017

From Javadpour to Jadavpur!!

I know. That was a terrible pun. But that is exactly what Rupa said she was looking forward to if we could meet – some terrible puns. (Disclaimer – all my attempted puns are terrible). (and if you missed the context of the pun – the previous day I had met Roya Javadpour and Rupa did her Engineering from Jadavpur University)

The challenges were pretty steep though. She lived about a couple of hours away from my hotel. And I was in an event couple of hours further away from my hotel. She also had some work related appointments in the evening. And I knew I was going to get distracted by the beach and start running. We did promise though that one way or the other we were going to meet – regardless of how late it was.

And late it was. After the event ended, I had to drive up north – pulled over to put in a run – which meant that I had to find a LA Fitness to take a shower…. it was almost 8 PM when I finally got to see Rupa and Vishal.

Rupa was my classmate from MBA days. The last time I had seen her and Vishal was around 1996 – over 20 years back – when Sharmila and I were in California (we had no kids then) and we swung by Rupa’s house. Just to prove that old “Men are from Mars…. etc etc” saying, we exchanged notes and turned out I remembered the rental car color I drove to her house and she remembered exactly what food she had cooked!!! Sharmila and Natasha got a chance to see them last year when they were on a college visit. But for me it was over 20 years.

Here is the funny part. Or the not so funny part. I don’t think we had too many jokes or bad puns. We talked at length though. About a lot of things in life. About a common friend that Rupa and I had who is no more, about their days in CMC, about Mumbai days, about a company that Rupa and I had worked in, about our parents and so on, about the uncle and aunt she used to stay with for some time (and she had completely forgotten that I had paid her a visit there once)…

We were there for nearly three hours and I had not realized that everybody else had left!! We were the last ones and the staff was waiting for us to leave. I will tell you how engrossed I was in our conversation – I completely forgot to ask the staff to take a picture of us!!! That, for me is next to unthinkable. That is what Steve Jobs gave us an iPhone! Hello! So, next day, I had to plead Rupa to send me a picture of both of them. Without a picture, I cannot write stories 🙂

Some meetings really do not end even after you walk away. This was one of them. We promised to do a vacation together some time….

5 February 2017

Finally, met the gentleman!!

Exactly a month back – I had written about accidentally running into this young man’s grandparents in Kalyani at somebody else’s  house. Today, I finally got to meet him and spend some quality time with him. At the end, when it came to taking the mandatory picture to be posted on my blog, he did the best version of “rolling one’s eyes” that a one year old could muster 🙂 Might need some practice on how to do that without moving the head though 🙂

In the meanwhile, in our long walks, he taught me how to say “Throw me up in the air”, “No, I am not going to eat anything”, “No, I am not going to sleep now”, “No, you cannot stop walking now” 🙂

Best time in the world! This is the one reason I love to go to the Bengali Pujas – there is always some small kid to spend some time with…

4 February 2017

An adventurous spirit!

How do you teach Project Management for Supply Chain Management in a novel way? Dr. Javadpour’s approach was surely unique. She told her students that they were going to help a needy old couple by breaking down their bathroom and rebuild it and make it handicapped friendly. That started a 6 week long intense planning phase where the students had to do everything – from raising funds to understanding what construction was all about and then on the final day they reconstructed the bathroom in 6 hours flat from grounds up! The students were so taken in by the challenge of the project management of a real life project that most of them were working early morning to late night without being asked to. To the point that their other professors had to ask Roya what was she up to!! Apparently, she has offered that course 12 times in all (in CalPoly) and has been nationally recognized.

That was how our conversation started when I finally managed to meet up with her last week. First, she had to plough thru 2 hours of traffic. I gave her a way out but she insisted on meeting. We missed each other the last few times we tried. Roya and I worked in the same team in a supply chain company and frankly I cannot even remember when I saw her last – 2001?? After she left, I again got in touch with her thru FB much later.

And from her occasional posts, I realized that she followed an interesting and very adventurous life. I would call her to wish her a happy birthday and I would realize that she was in Vietnam or Thailand or Turkey and so on. In 2012, I suddenly got a message from her that she would be in India with a few of her students and wanted to know what should be visiting while there.

What I learnt last week was very interesting. Roya goes to all sorts of exciting places and explores them without much of planning from before hand. (I know, she is the one who was recognized nationally for her project management class 🙂 ). She buys one way ticket to a country and goes around exploring. During that process she crosses country boundaries and one fine day, when she thinks she has had enough, she buys a ticket to return. Another method I found was she would buy a one way ticket to country A and then a return ticket from country B without any prior plans of figuring out how to go from country A to country B.

I remember one of those birthday calls, she let me know that she could not get into Greece from Turkey (some visa related issues), so was trying to figure out How to return home!!

“So, what were you doing in India?”, I asked.
“Oh! We went to the Himalayas”.
“Trekking?”, I continued.
“No. We were there to build septic tanks and showers for a small village up in the mountains”.

I have to say – I was pretty impressed. I go to India four times a year and never ever have I attempted to build a septic tank!! 🙂

With the vast life experiences she has gained, I had to ask my inevitable question –
“So, what is the life lesson I can learn from you?”.
She thought for a second and said – “Enjoy the journey. Destinations are overrated. Life is all about the journeys to those destinations.”

Thank you Roya, for a wonderful evening. And thank you for taking the pains of tolerating two hours of traffic on 405.

31 January 2017

Sometimes, he surprises me by listening to me!!!

Sometimes he might even listen to me!!
This time during my India trip, when the whole family had gone to Ibiza resort, my dad and I had a rather interesting debate about something. The topic was of money. He is always worried about spending money himself because he wants to leave that money for his grandchildren. I tried my level best to make a case that it is a totally futile exercise.

From his point of view, given his upbringing, he will forego a lot of things if it meant that would buy financial stability for his kids and grandkids. My argument was that there is no objective definition of “stability”. By many people’s definition, he has comfortably pushed his three kids and their families past that line. Now they need to maintain and improve from there.

After a long pause, he asked me if I will make sure my brother and sister and their families are looked after, after he and mom pass away. I did not answer such a silly question directly – but told him that there is no way I can give them something that only he has the ability to give.

Confused, he asked “What do I have that you do not have?”.
“Your time”, I had said.
“Meaning?”

And that is when I tried to impress upon him that my brother, sister, myself – we can all work hard and make sure we are all taken care of. We can earn more money, worldly stuff etc etc. for our kids. But as much as we jump and down, we can never give them a grandfather’s time that only he can give.

I had encouraged him to think about spending a little money and hire a car to go visit my brother’s family in Kolkata. It is an hour and half trip – two hours at most. Over a weekend the time the two grandkids would get are what memories will be made of for them long after he is gone.

Not sure how we ended up the whole discussion. In fact, I had forgotten about it completely. Then the other day – about a month after that discussion – I got a call from my brother that mom has a new physical issue and she needed to visit a doctor in Kolkata. He was going to get her checked and drop her back. Well, that was the plan. Till dad said – he would go too and spend a couple of days with my brother’s family. “Bachchu boley gechhilo”. (I guess he remembered our discussions).

For the next couple of days, I kept getting incessant IMO calls (that is a free app used for video calls – popular outside US I think) from my nephews with all sorts of stories. Once they had called up just to let me know that “Dadu Google ke Googly bolechhe” (I guess my dad pronounced Google as ‘Googly’).

I asked them to send some snapshots of them with my dad. And this is what I got.

Looks like the last India trip is a gift that is still giving. 

29 January 2017

Keeping her options open…

As I went to give her a reminder to get up to get ready for her run, I noticed that right next to her, on her bedside table was a glass of water, a champagne flute with a cocktail in it and a cup of steaming hot coffee.

It will be really interesting to see what she goes for once she wakes up.

21 January 2017

Have you ever tried explaining a matrimonial website to your mom?

If so, I might need some tips from you.

It was my usual daily morning call to my mom. After the usual checklist of complaints – you know it is getting too cold or too hot or too rainy in Kalyani and the granddaughter is simply not sitting down to study and dad is not listening to her and so on and I doing my part of morally supporting her with “tai to”, “tai to”, (“of, course”, “of course), she suddenly perked up.

Turns out she had called her elder sister today and the discussion led to her sister mentioning that her son (my cousin) and daughter-in-law are now looking to get their daughter (her granddaughter) married off and are using the “net” to find a groom. “Net” is what everybody in India calls the Internet.

My mom straightaway asked her “Net-e ki korey chhele khunjbey?” (How can you look for a groom on the internet). Her sister was mightily relieved at that question. Understandably, she said, “Tui-o jaanis na? Aami to bhoy-e jiggesh korchhi na kaukey!”. So, she had a nary a clue either but she was too afraid to go around asking her folks how were they planning to catch a groom on the net. I am sure she had figured out that you do not go around with a big fishing net and cast it at the first eligible bachelor / bachelorette you see. There must be something more it than that in the “net”.

According to my mom they had a thirty minute discussion on this. Now, I have to explain to you that my parents and that generation was used to putting newspaper ads in the matrimonial columns to find grooms or brides. And those newspapers usually charged by the “centimeter” (length of the ad since the width was constant). You have to be a Bengali mom of a suitable age boy or girl to understand the sheer cruelty of forcing a proud mom to discuss her kid within a centimeter. That is like asking me to tweet my Facebook posts in 140 characters or less.

Now, Bengali moms might be proud. But they are very smart too. So, they have code words for these kind of situations. Much to the dismay of the revenue generation department of the newspapers, no doubt! Your daughter is not exactly fair skinned? (This is somehow a big thing in India). But, she got first division in Higher Secondary? (This is your high school exam). No problem. 5 single letters – each with deep exhaling “bisorgo” sign after it will do it. In English, it would read something like Ooh! Shya! Ha! Se! Fa!

There! Easy does it. Now you can use the rest of your centimeter in focusing on more important aspects of Bengali matrimonial happiness like “Cooking Hilsa Fish with Sorshey bnata a must” or something like that. When it comes to need for skills in cooking fish, a centimeter does not even come within a mile of hitting the sweet spot.

With that as the background, we had these two septuagenarians trying to figure out what a matrimonial website is on the “net”. I have no doubt that in their mind, the prospective bride and groom sits in front of the computer whole day long. With the modem switched on, mind you. Else how would people find them on the net? Somewhere the original DARPAnet guys turned in their graves this morning.

Finally, she said “porer baar esey eta amader bhalo korey bojhabi to”. I admire her willingness to learn new things but I expect it to be a rather not-so-smooth process. I can picture myself sitting with my aunt and mom and starting to explain the much-feared-net in a true soccer coach “from the deep defense” style. “See, this is a keyboard. And this a mouse”. I can almost visualize my aunt shrieking “Eendur? Kothay?”. And on that note of miscommunication on what a mouse is, she would stop laughing and say “Dnara. Ektu cha baaniye aani”. (she will run off to make one more round of tea). Pretty much that is where we will conclude our first lesson. I am sure the final lesson will be around the time when my cousin would be expecting their first child.

I can’t wait to go back to India 🙂