18 May 2015

We pulled it off!!!

The much anticipated evening went off without a snag. In reality, by the dint of the fact that the meeting lasted for four hours (originally I had planned for two), one might even conclude that it was a smashing success. To understand the backdrop of this meeting, read here.

To put all the emotions and enthusiasm – of the first time three folks who crossed each others’ path (but never together) more than three decades back actually sitting down together under the same roof – in a few paragraphs is gong to be way beyond me. I can give you an idea how it started. As Piyali, Jayita, Rajaram (Jayita’s husband) and myself got together, my pleasantries included “Rajaram, you look different”. Rajaram, the soft spoken guy he is, demurred that nothing really has changed in the last three years. Not willing to give up, I suggested, “Maybe you did not have a mustache before?”. Our doubts were settled finally (in my favor, I might add) once I went to my blog and fished out a picture of him from three years back!! And that is when we all settled down for a nice bottle of wine!!

Of course, I had met Piyali a few minutes before and my first reaction was “Where is the rest of you?” 🙂 She has dropped an unbelievable amount of weight. We got a few minutes to discuss her multiple attempts to drop weight over the years and finally how the kettle ball exercise clicked for her. We also talked about running and how to get started in a gentle way into long runs…

It was magical catching up on each others’ families, the old friends we had crossed paths with in the past and our experiences of living in three different countries. The evening was worth just remembering some of those souls from our past (and adding to my “must visit sometime” list). The gravy was catching up on our families and personal lives.

Of course, intently listening into the girls’ conversation as they talked about their old crushes (while I completely feigned I had no idea who they were talking about) is something I am hoping to leverage to the hilt some day. Okay, maybe I have deleveraged already since Rajaram (Jayita’s husband) and I laughed about it later anyways!!!

Before I knew it, my ride to the airport was ready!!!

I am not sure I can put the three of us together ever again. But I sure hope that will not stop us from getting together in pairs…

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Category: Intersection Points, Vacations | 5 Comments on We pulled it off!!!
18 May 2015

Three way intersection point!!

This is the story of how the three of us who grew up within a couple of miles from each other and got separated by thousands and thousands of miles across continents as we continued growing up finally might come together under the same roof for a couple of hours!!

For the first part, you might have to go back to the story I had published in June 2012, where I had tracked down Jayita from my fourth grade days finally in Dubai. Sharmila and the kids got a chance to meet Jayita’s family. You can read about it here.

For the second part, there is an interesting twist. I was introduced to Piyali circa 1986 by Madhumolli in Kolkata. While Piyali and I grew up in the same small place, we never had met before. That same Piyali has become a very famous doctor now in Kolkata. Fortunately for me, thru all her successes and fame, she has chosen to remember me.

A few weeks back, I made my annual call to her to wish her a very happy birthday!! I also paid her a compliment on losing some significant weight – from what I could figure out in Facebook pictures. She explained how she has focused on diet control. I took the chance to ask her to start some exercise like brisk walking or running. I assured her that running is not as scary as it sounds.

“I will tell you what. I will be coming to check on my dad in three weeks’ time. I will come by your house one early morning and we will go for a run”… that is exactly how our call ended.

This Friday, I called her up in Kolkata to set some date to go for a run. She informed me that she would be in Dubai that time. For a moment I was amazed how far she would run away just to avoid me 🙂 But I also remembered that she had a practice in Dubai too and went there very regularly.

“Okay, we will run in Dubai, then”, I said to her utter shock. You see, she did not know that I was routed thru Dubai to go to India and I had a long – and I mean a very long – fourteen hours to be precise – layover. I could easily come out, put in a run and then go back and take a shower in the airport. She could not believe for a moment how far I would chase her just to make her run 🙂 Eventually, I explained the whole situation.

That is when I remembered something.
“Hey, do you know Jayita?”
“Which Jayita”
“Mukherjee. From Durgapur”
She thought for a while and said “Yes”. And described her.
“How do you know her?”
“We went to Carmel school together”.
That was confusing to me. I knew Jayita never went to Carmel school but Piyali’s description was fairly accurate. Regardless, I said “Okay. How about this? We will skip running this time. But how about the three of us get together in Dubai?”
“What? How? Where is she?”, she asked!
“Jayita lives in Dubai!!”
That was that!!!

Immediately called up Jayita half expecting her not to know Piyali.
“Hey, did you ever study in Carmel School?”
“No”, said Jayita, as I had expected.
“Do you know Piyali?”
“Which Piyali”?
“Mukherjee”
“Doctor?”
“Yes”
“I think I do”
“How can you possibly know her? You and I went to Benachity Junior High School – I know she did not study there. She went to Carmel – I know you did not go there. Did you meet her in a different context”.
Jayita thought for a few seconds and said “You know Rajib, I think we studied eleventh and twelfth class in Bidhan school”
That made a world of sense to me. Finally!!
“How about the three of us grab a drink in Dubai on Monday evening?”
“What do you mean? Where are you? Where is she?”.
Of course, I explained the whole story to her…

And here I am … half way thru to Dubai from Dallas … 37,000 feet above northern Europe… wondering how it would feel to have three friends who were connected to each other but never overlapped – started their life journeys in the same place but now are in three corners of the world… finally get together under the same roof for the very first time…

I am hoping against hopes the plan does not hit a snag. And also that Rajaram (Jayita’s husband) will join us. We need a good photographer to capture the moments. I do not believe I will get another chance to put the three of us together again!!

Category: Intersection Points, Vacations | 8 Comments on Three way intersection point!!
15 May 2015

That was a unique Happy Birthday call ! To my mom! No less!!

Like every morning, when I got into my car heading to a meeting, I started making my birthday calls. Usually I finish off Asia and Europe in the morning and the Americas in the evening or during lunch time.

First, I called up home in India. My dad picked up. After talking to him for a few minutes I asked “Is it not mom’s birthday today?”. He was totally flummoxed. “Tor maa-er jonmodin aaj?”. (‘It is your mom’s birthday today?’).

Now, my friends from India can relate to this. There was no real system of birthday records when my parents were born (or for that matter when I was born). Most people would get an official certificate later in their lives (especially when they needed a job 🙂 ) with a convenient birthday for themselves! The concept of celebrating birthdays – at least for my parents – is totally foreign. Last time I had gone home, I had noted down their “official birthday” from their ID cards.

Which is what led to the call today. To get back to my story, when I confirmed that it is indeed my mom’s birthday today, his next question was “Mrityudin eto kaachhe choley esechhe, ekhon jonmodin niye ki hobey”? (‘Now that we are so close to the day we will die, what is the big idea celebrating our birthdays?’). Exasperated, I asked him where mom was.

Next, I called up my sister downstairs – for that is where mom evidently was. Once she gave the phone to my mom, I asked “Aaj tomar jonmodin to?” (‘Today is your birthday, right?’). You could sense the utter confusion in her mind. I could hear her asking my sister “Aajkey amar jonmodin?” (‘Today is my birthday?)’. Of course, my sister’s reaction was – how the heck was she supposed to know? In her defense, she was nowhere near when my mom was born 🙂

With little regard to thanking me for wishing her, my mom’s first reaction was “Aaj ki bishey Josthhi?”. She switched to the Bengali calendar (which is completely different from the Gregorian calendar). Of course, it was my turn to go – how the heck am I supposed to know that? After I pointed out that I got her birthday from her ID card, my mom told me that is her “official birthday”.

“Okay, so what is your real birthday?”, I asked (in Bengali of course). “Bishey Josthhi”, she continued to insist. “I got that part. Which Bengali year?”. More confusion ensued. After a couple of minutes of mutterings, what I could reconstruct is that she was born two years after her elder sister was. And her elder sister was born the year there was a big flood in Kalna!! Go figure!!! At this point, I had no idea whether I was making forward progress or regressing.

Internet had nothing on floods in Kalna during the 40s. Fortunately, there is a site that will change Bengali date to the English calendar. I tried five years on either side of her “official birthday” with that “Bishey Josthhi”. I had one other data point. My grandfather had once told me which day of the week my mom was born in – because it matched the day of the week I was born in and he had told me people that are born on that day of the week have to work very hard in their lives. That datapoint narrowed it down to exactly one year. I had cracked it!!

Of course, I called my mom again. “Which day of the week were you born in?”. I enquired to double check. “Saturday”, she confirmed something I was already aware of. “Well, then hear me out now. Your real birthday is Jun 3rd, 1944”. Do not forget that.

She gave it some consideration and said “Ok. But let’s celebrate May 15 since that is the official date”. And I was like “You are telling that now??????? Could you not have just thanked me when I wished you earlier??????” 🙂

My mom. I tell you. 🙂 🙂

Category: Family in India | 33 Comments on That was a unique Happy Birthday call ! To my mom! No less!!
14 May 2015

Remember that lady who let the tip of a dart dictate the course of her life?

Last year this time, if you recollect I had gone to a restaurant with my friend Dan and then made friends with the manager of that place – Yui – who was from Japan and landed up in Kenosha, Wisconsin because of a dart she threw on an US map and that is where it landed. In a final twist to the story, we found out that Dan was actually stationed near the small place she was from back in Japan when he was in the Marines. You can read about it here

In any case, this week, I had a dinner with a Board member and we went to the same place. That gave me a chance to catch up on Yui a year later. Pat (the Board member) was excited about the whole story. So we took a picture of the three of us with the biggest wine bottles we could find around 🙂 (Last year, Dan had taken a picture with a big wine bottle in hand. Do not remember why.)

Anyways, it was good to catch up with somebody who I made friends with on the road. I understand now she is following a modeling career too. Maybe someday I can say I personally know somebody famous 🙂

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13 May 2015

Sometimes you have to choose between an old friend and a flight

By the time I walked out of the investment bank after a very successful and exciting – and way over time – meeting analyzing our market and opportunities, I was literally swimming in numbers. I glanced at my watch. I still had time to squeeze in meeting a very old friend of mine before I scrambled to my flight home.

Or that is what I thought. What I had not bargained for is Chicago’s highways becoming a parking lot at 3 PM. Or that my friend and I would be waiting at identically named stores but a full fifteen minutes apart!! (This is what happens when you punch in the cafe name only without the address in Google Maps!!).

At that point, I was getting way too close for my comfort to not head out to the airport. But then again, I had not seen this guy for 26 years!! Last time I saw him was on the corridors of Alakananda – our hostel (dorm) during my Engineering days – back in May 1989!!

I decided that I would risk my flight. Found a bar from Google Maps somewhere between where we were and met up with Ramana Kadari!! I could have picked him from a vast sea of humanity any day. It is like time has wrought no change on his visage. Exactly the same guy – the looks, the temperament, the outlook – everything has remained the same!!

It was fantastic catching up on his fascinating journey of the last 26 years. I absolutely wish I had kept in touch with this guy. I always have a lot to learn from anybody who loses his dad in his ninth grade, grows up in the rural hinterland of India and yet fights his way to some of the top schools in India and now so successful in one of the best countries in the world!!

It was all of 35 minutes of meeting but boy did it feel like we had left each other just the other day. I still remember the day he won the T-shirt caption contest for our hostel (his entry was “Smart Alec” – a pun on our hostel name) and I kept kicking myself for not coming up with it myself!!

As we bade adieu promising not to wait for another 26 years, it slowly dawned on me that I have a flight to catch. I stuck with the back roads instead of the highways, weaved thru traffic like I was driving east west on a north south street, considered speed limits as FYIs only and I am sure the ensuing Doppler effect made some red lights appear green to me. Somehow made it to the rental car center, left the keys without waiting for my bill and ran to the bus. Later, in the bus, I realized that the keys were not the only thing I left in the car.

Skipped checking in my small little overnight bag as I normally do and breezed thru TSA Precheck to reach the gate just in time. And it is then that I realized I had not bargained for another reality in life. Counting on Delta flights being late!!!!

Well, that allowed me to spend a few minutes with another friend of mine I ran into as I was running to the gate, but that is a story for another day!!!

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Category: Intersection Points | 6 Comments on Sometimes you have to choose between an old friend and a flight
4 May 2015

Sunday evening with “family”

Regardless of all the stress during the week and the hectic activities during the weekend, there is always the one constancy in life to bring some semblance of sanctity – going out with Sharmila to our bar like we have done for years and years every Sunday evening. It does not matter that we show up right around the time Milton’s cuisines is shutting down. There is something about catching up with the staff about their week, their family, life aspirations, as they clean dishes, do inventory, wrap up the kitchen we look forward every week.

They are as close to family as we can ever get!

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Category: My Family | 6 Comments on Sunday evening with “family”
22 April 2015

This is the kind of people I want to surround myself with…

On this road called life that we are all destined to walk along and cross paths with, we often come across very simple people whose journey on this road absolute inspires us and exalts us to strive to make every bit of that journey as rewarding as is possible. Today was such a day for me.

Second work day of the week. Second city to visit. At the end of all meetings, my friend from work Mark and I took refuge at Miller’s Brewhouse at Milwaukee airport to catch up on emails and phone calls before we called it a day – or in my case, catch a flight back home. With all that back to back emails and phone calls, I had not paid much attention to the young lady Chelsey who was serving us. After I was done with my calls and work, I put my phone down. But Mark was still working. So, I turned around to Chelsey who was nearby and asked her “Tell me your life story”.

Initially she was reluctant insisting it was a little sad. I assured her that I genuinely wanted to listen. And the story that unfolded was an incredible one. I learnt that Chelsey is from Tennessee where she was happily married and soon had a baby – the love of her life. Between her husband and her, they took shifts in work to look after the baby at home. And one day, when she came home, she came home to worst fear any mother in this whole world could ever come to. Her one month old child had died of SIDS. (The child was on his belly and suffocated himself). A little time later, her husband and she grew apart and eventually separated. She was just a couple of years over twenty!!!

Unlike many other weaker earthling – especially at that age – who might turn to other means to escape reality including illegal ones, she resolutely resolved to make something out of herself. She left Tennessee and came to Milwaukee for a “clean start” and follow her dreams to be a vet. She works today not in one job… two jobs…. but three jobs as she takes herself thru a vet school at the same time!!! She is determined to come out with flying colors on the other side.

As I took her permission to feature her in my blog, I asked her if she would take a picture with me. She not only did that but gave me a picture of the locket she was wearing. (See the inset) That is a locket she never separates from. No mother every would. It contains the ashes of her child.

What an inspiring story. How many times a simple thing at home has not worked and we have had bitter reactions? How many times we have been critical of that one well paying job we have – let alone three minimum wage jobs. Amidst all this, how many of us keep telling ourselves – No matter what, I am coming out of this on the other end, way ahead of others? And with a brilliant smile to boot?

If anyone of you ever happen to be in Milwaukee airport, just stroll over to the Miller Brewhouse on the upper floor and ask for Chelsey. And wish her the best of luck. The world has to belong to hard workers like her who is never down on life!

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19 April 2015

A new cool friend!

If any one of you visit Dallas (or live there) and are looking for a nice wine bar, do not forget to go to Mercy in Addison. And make sure you meet my new friend Mike there. He made the evening for us and my business company absolutely marvelous. We found out that we both have a lot in common – stand up comedy, mixology and being sharp as a whip. Okay, okay, agreed that I extended the truth on that bit about me being sharp. But still two out of three is not bad!

Also, when you go there, do not forget to try a wine called “Lunatic”!

Mike

Category: Intersection Points | 2 Comments on A new cool friend!
19 April 2015

A stranger no more!!

Last weekend Sharmila’s friend Rupa had visited us from Dubai. On Sunday, I was dropping her at the airport and on the way we started talking about the concept of friendship – you know FB friends, school friends, work friends etc. At some point she talked about somebody called Sudeshna Das who now lives in Houston and that she was a friend of Rupa’s sister. The thought that went thru my mind immediately was that she must be then my sister’s friend (same batch). Anyways, after dropping Rupa at the airport, I made a couple of calls to friends in Houston to see if we could track down Sudeshna. As luck would have it, I was going to be in Houston within a couple of days for work.

As you can imagine, a little help from FB, friends and a few phone calls and I did get to meet a complete stranger – Sudeshna (frequently called Mou). Our common friend Subrata, his wife, Sharmistha and Sudeshna had dinner with me. We absolutely missed Tapan Das – Sudeshna’s husband who had to leave for Brazil that day.

The dinner started, innocuously enough, with two complete strangers meeting. By the time the evening was over, we found more intersections points than we could shake a stick at. I probably cannot remember all of them now but to cite a few – we already knew that she and my sister were classmates. Found out that her cousin – who has been very very close to her all her life – is a very close friend of my wife Sharmila. I knew Sharmila visited this particular lady every time we went to India – I just did not know the connection with Sudeshna at all. Then we found out Sudeshna married Tapan – who is a friend from college days of none other than Samaresh who I run with every Sunday morning here in Atlanta. Did I mention that Samaresh and I lived a stone’s throw away during our middle and high school days in India?

The conversation invariably went to our parents and their health. A little later when Sudeshna told me that her parents used to live in City Center ( an area in Durgapur), I became even more inquisitive. I asked her if she remembered any more details. She mentioned that she thought it was on Michael Faraday Road. I was like “Get out of here. Which house?”. She thought #20, but she was not sure. This was way too much coincidence. So, I asked her if she could call her mom in India. Which she did. And I took the phone away from her, introduced myself to her mom and asked her what was her exact house number when she lived in City Center. She confirmed that it was indeed 20. I asked her if she knew her next door neighbor. “Mamata Ghosh?”, she asked. “Absolutely”, I replied – “they are my inlaws. And they still live there!”. We were both very excited.

So, I asked her “Where do you live now”? I knew that they had moved to Kolkata since Sudeshna had mentioned this before. I did not know exactly where, though. Well, you are not going to believe this, they have moved right where my brother lives. In fact, you might have seen many pictures of me and my brother running on my blogsite right in front of their house!! As you can imagine, I made a promise to visit her and have tea with her next time when I am in Kolkata – which is a few weeks away. Reminded me of the trip to see Sanghamitra’s mom last time!

The evening started between two absolute strangers but in about an hour and half’s time, we realized that we had this huge network of connections in India and USA that tied us together. It was as if we have always known each other through these years.

We really really missed Tapan. I am sure I would find at least another set of connections. In fact, we never explored Sudeshna’s in-laws’ side at all!

That would be the agenda for the next trip to Houston!!! If Subrata and Sharmistha can deal with the boredom that is 🙂

Sudeshna Das

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