24 May 2019

The ingenuity of my niece!

Back to hauling myself to the other side of the world to spend a couple of days with my parents. This time there is some suspense in the air because some well laid plans can come to nought if my father changes his mind. And he has done this to us once before.

For the last few trips, I have been trying to convince him to come out and stay in a resort for a couple of days instead of being cooped up in his room all the time. He has steadfastly refused so far. “Tora ghurey aay” (You guys go ahead) has been his common refrain. Which is somewhat unfair to my mom – who is consumed by her care taking role and never gets a break.

This time, I tried a different route. Not totally above a Machiavellian streak here and there, I decided to try to appeal to him thru my niece and nephews. I called up my niece a month back and let her know that I will take her out for a vacation if she can convince my dad to come with us. Then next day, I called up my nephews and told them the same thing.

Apparently, I did not need to (call my nephews). I was underestimating my niece’s wily ways. I understand that evening she went and told my dad that he has no option but to come with her. My dad had asked where was she thinking of going. She had feigned complete innocence and said that she would convince me to take the family for a trip when I land up in India next. My father, mistaking it to be a far fetched plan, dismissed her by saying – “Sure! I will come.”

That morning there was a WhatsApp message from her waiting for me declaring that she had succeeded. Somewhat incredulous, I reminded her how he had changed his mind once before and we had to cancel the whole trip at the last moment. Had she thought thru that?

“I will fix it”, was the response.

Next morning, there was another WhatsApp message with some images of handwritten notes. I had to save the images and expand them to read them. They were hilarious and at the same time reflected upon my niece’s determination. Not sure whether you can read the notes … but she had written up a declaration that my parents have consented to go for a trip with us and that it was an irrevocable agreement. To give that declaration some heft, she even put an official looking name to it – “Enjoy Vacation Tour Society Ltd”, it seems! Love that “Limited” bit at the end. Why take any more liability than is necessary?

She got my mom to sign it and then faced the next problem. You see, after my dad’s brain stroke, his right side was totally paralyzed. He has gained some strength back but certainly does not have the dexterity to write. Or sign, for that matter! No problems!! My niece put ink all over his thumb and got him to put a thumbprint on the declaration!

It probably has not escaped your sharp eyes that she put three names as organizers. Herself first, of course. And she has given herself the designation of “Secretary”. Which is only fair, I think. Then she put my name with an even further elevated title – “Chairman”! So far so good. She put my younger brother’s name too in the end. Even she was aware that without my brother, nothing will happen. In our family – he is always the person on the ground getting things done. In trips like this, he is the one calling up all resorts, doing some hard negotiations on rates, arranging for transports for everybody, meal plans and all that. We simply show up and have fun.

But I am sure even he was not ready for the title he got – “Travel Agent”. I had to pick myself up from the floor laughing away to glory before I could call my brother and let him know about his new founded designation. From his reaction over the phone, I figured he was rolling on the floor too!!

We are 36 hours away from knowing if my dad has reneged on the deal. In fact, to take no chances, I am not even going to his place to see him. I am sure he will say “Ei to dekha hoye gelo. Tora ghurey day”. (He will claim he was looking forward to seeing me. That being done, there was no need for him to join us). I am going straight to the resort from the airport where he is supposed to show up.

Unless he changes his mind.

Fingers crossed!!!

17 May 2019

If not for the star button in that elevator panel…

I dropped my bags in the office in San Francisco where I was to have some meetings and rushed out to find a Fed Ex drop location to send Natasha some paperwork. At the elevator bank, after pressing “1” on the panel, I waited patiently for the elevator to show up. The elevator panel was pretty interesting. It looked almost like a big telephone keypad – complete with a “*” sign and a “#” sign! There was a large printed notice above it saying “Press 1 to go to the ground floor”. Which, I had duly followed.

A second before the elevator showed up, a young gentleman arrived in the bank and then proceeded to press the * button. The elevator showed up and soon I realized that we two were the only ones taking the ride.

“Which floor are you going to?”, I asked without any other fair warning to the gentleman.
“Ground floor”.
Now that piqued my interest. Why did he not follow instructions?
“Why did you press the * key?”
“That takes you to the ground floor”
“But there is a clear sign there saying you are supposed to press 1”
“Yeah, I just try to put some variations in life”

That was an interesting take!!

“I am Rajib, by the way”.
“From Riverside?”
“Yes. And you are….?”
“Lakshay. People call me Lucky”
“What is your full name?”
“Lakshay Gilja”
“Where is that last name from?”
“Punjab, India”.

I have to admit that for somebody who should know most last names from India, I had not heard that one before.

We were enjoying the conversation – so he decided to accompany me to the FedEx stop and I offered to walk with him to grab his lunch and then we would both walk back to office.

“So, where did you grow up?” (No points for guessing that I was trying to find some common connections)
“Atlanta area”.
“Really? Where in Atlanta?”
“Alpharetta area.”
“Where in Alpharetta?”

He looked funny at me – “Do you know Alpharetta?”
“Yeah, I have some working knowledge”
“Milton area”
“Where in Milton?”

He was not sure how to answer. So, I asked “Which road?”
“It is called New Providence”
“How far from that funky intersection with Birmingham Hwy?”
“Well, they have made a round about there now. WAIT A MINUTE. How do you know that much detail?”
“You are not going to believe this – but I live a stone’s throw away from that intersection”
“No way. So do my parents”.
“I figured!”.
“This is unbelievable”

There is some truth to that. I live in a very rural setting – dirt road, water from well, septic tank, dense forests, internet over phone line and all that. You are more likely to know a horse from around my area than any human beings!! It was just incredible luck that I had run into a young person in an elevator in down town San Francisco from my area.

“So, you went to Milton High?”
“Yes, I did!”
“Well, then I have another surprise for you.”
“What?” Lucky was still trying to get over the fact that I was not trying to pull wool over his eyes. He was even more intrigued that our motorbike team rides every weekend right in front of his dad’s place.
“Wait. I need to introduce you to somebody”

Eventually, we went back to the office. Took Lucky straight to the room where I had dropped my bag. Graham – my friend and the CFO of our company – was there too giving finishing touches to our Board presentation.

“Graham, this is Lucky. Lucky, this is Graham”.
A few pleasantries later….
“Graham, you remember that high school your wife Emily went to?”
“Milton High. Why?”
“Well, Lucky went to the same high school”
“No Way!”
“Yes Way”
“No”
“Yes”

You can only imagine the confusion Lucky was going thru. I explained to him – “See Lucky, a few months back, I was in Atlanta and Graham was in Philadelphia. I was trying to convince him to join a company in Chicago that was bought by your firm in San Francisco. During that conversation, I had found out that his wife went to – of all possible places in this country – to the high school down the road from me. Turns out that is where you went too!!”

This was certainly getting overwhelming for Lucky. I would not blame him. Again, we live in a very rural setting.

“So, which year did your wife go to Milton High?”
Turns out she was a couple of years senior to Lucky.
Then Graham had a thought – “Do you know Ben Jackson”?
“You mean this guy?” – Lucky asked after fishing out his phone from his pocket and pulling up a picture on Facebook.
“Yes. That is my brother in law!”
“He is my classmate, for crying out loud!!!”

The circle was complete, by now.
Here was a guy who lived in Philly that moved to Chicago to join the company I was joining from Alanta – and we were put in touch by the investor firm in San Francisco – realizing that I had run into his brother-in-law’s classmate in high school in the elevator!

All because of that * sign!!

As they say…. when the stars align….. 🙂

16 May 2019

Revisiting an old friend

It was nearly one and a half years back, I had met Rachel. I remember being very hungry after some office meetings and finding the one place nearby that was still open. Except, their kitchen was closed. But Rachel – who was working at the bar – was able to go inside and arrange for some onion rings and fries. Anand, remember?

I also remember about the advise she had for my daughters – “do not marry early” and her life aspirations about being a psychiatrist.

Last week, during my trip to Wisconsin, found out where she works now and then was able to catch up with her. She remains as energetic and reflective on life as ever. I think her aspiration to be a psychiatrist has worn off a bit – given how much fun she is having in her job now. Which is a pity – in my current job, we hire psychiatrists!!

This time, our topic was discussion was about bringing up kids. And also about her cousin that I found on Facebook (because she left a comment on my previous post) who is married to a Bengali!!! Further, found out that her boy friend is into Honda motorbikes like me!!

It was good seeing you again Rachel !

10 May 2019

This was a far more relaxed meeting!!

I had not seen Giselle in about 12 years. In fact, the last time I saw her in her office in HSBC was the only time I had or have ever met her. It was not a very relaxed environment for either of us that day. She was my customer. She had to inform me that I was fired. Well, not personally but the business I ran. That was a tough meeting. Not just because nobody likes losing. It was also my personal pride in our products that was hurt. And that is the irony in business life – we tend to have a parent-like protective pride in products we own – that need not be reflective of market perception.

You would think that is where our relationship would have ended – first and only meeting. Then again, there is a reason my wife calls me quirky. I kept up with her thru emails first – just to enquire how she and her business was doing. Then I was able to gain her confidence enough to share her birthday with me.

That established a time tested way of keeping in touch with her – even if only once a year. For whatever reason, she always had a genuine interest in what was happening to me, my family, my career and all those stupid things I do. A few weeks back, during our annual call, I realized that she was going to be in Chicago for a family event this week.

After wrapping up all meetings on Wednesday, I hightailed it to Chicago downtown. Brimming in confidence that she had nothing to fire me about 🙂

When a meeting goes for double the time that you had agreed to, you can only imagine how much we must have enjoyed our conversations. I learned more about Porsches than I ever probably knew was there to learn. Giselle races Porsches and I was simply in awe of her knowledge of mechanical engineering and how a car engine works. In fact, as she talked about how to get the car to pivot the weight to the front tires and control the rear wheel swing at tight corners, I was having flashbacks of my motorbike riding lessons that I am still learning myself.

But the best part was learning about sailing. For all the interest I have in motor boats, I learnt the physics from her about what makes a sailing boat more stable than a motor boat and why a lake is more dangerous than the ocean for sail boats. Have you ever heard of “square waves”? She might have just piqued enough interest in me that I will put sailing in my bucket list. The most reassuring part was that she can’t swim much and hates getting in the water. That makes two of us. Shubu, you might have to stat giving me some Sailing 101 lessons. Avi, are you listening?

That was an inspiring story. Specially for somebody who got out of Cuba at the age of five and landed in New York. And then had to abandon the city since the cold weather got her into a lot of physical issues. The career track she has built for herself is a fascinating story. She has worked in more states in this country than I have probably visited. And she worked for Edsel Ford Jr !!

I met somebody that lives by what is my target for life mantra – except that she has already reached there – “Be different. Make a difference.”

5 May 2019

Finding her birth parents

“So, you saw your birth father for the first time in your life?”, I asked
“Yes”, she replied.
“And he was living near you all this time?”
“Yes!”

It was September 2016 when Julio and I had met Paula at the Blind Horse in Sheboygan. She had made one of the best Sazeracs I had had, I remember. That evening as we got to know her, we found out that she was left by her birth mom when she was a few days old. Her wonderful adoptive parents had raised her. Her (adoptive) parents had adopted a brother for her too – who incidentally is married to an adopted girl from India! That day I had asked her if she had any interest in finding out her lineage and about her birth parents. She let me know quickly that she had no interest. (More about that day here: http://www.rajibroy.com/?p=11717)

About a year later, Julio and I were in Wisconsin for a meeting. We were at a resort by Lake Elkhart and guess who had switched jobs to the bar of that resort? There were two parts of the conversation from that day I still remember. First, she had a second daughter a few months back and I had promised to come back and see the baby some time. And that she was warming up to finding out about her lineage. (More about that day here: http://www.rajibroy.com/?p=14517)

We had kept up thru Facebook and she had kept me apprised of her progress with the project to find her birth parents.

“Paula, start from the beginning. You had approached ancestry.com, right?” I asked her as we settled down for coffee at a coffee place near Milwaukee between my business meetings.
“Yes. They did the full DNA analysis”. She then showed me the report they sent her about the various mix of bloods she has.
“I am basically a human mutt!”, she said laughing!
“That is funny! Then what happened?”

“Much later, I got a call from a lady. She told me that she found me on ancestry.com. And she thought she knew me.”
“Were you excited?”
“I was not sure how I felt. Anyways, she gave me a few details from my first few days. That absolutely matched what the orphanage had told me. She then said that she knew my mom and dad. And that she was my aunt. My birth father’s sister. She then said – let me send you your mom’s high school pictures. You two look exactly the same.”
Saying so, Paula pulled out her mom’s pictures from her phone. I have to admit, they looked remarkable similar.

“Then what?”, I asked.
“Well this lady told me my dad’s name and where he lived.”
“Where does he live?”
“Near Milwaukee”
“That is right here…. “
“Yep!”
“Did you go meet him?”
“Yes, took my daughters there. And we have seen them a few times”.

Apparently, that was how Paula got to know her family from the birth dad side.

“Did your dad tell you anything about your mom?”
“Yes, they were both 15 when my mom had me. Her parents kicked her out of their house when they found out she was pregnant. After my birth, she gave me up at an orphanage and my dad and mom split and went their own ways.”

“Wow! What a story!! Where did the story lead to on your mom’s side?”
“My dad gave me my mom’s name. I searched for her a lot and then found her out in Facebook”.
“You too? You will be amazed how many of my own searches found closure in Facebook. In any case, back to your story…”
“From the pictures in Facebook you can see the similarity to her younger pictures”
“Did you reach out to her?”
“Yes. I messaged her who I was. And that I wanted her to know that I am happy. I am not reaching out for any particular reason.”
“Did she reach back?”
“No. She blocked me.”
“She blocked you????”
“Yes, she blocked me!”

After a few seconds, I asked her “And how did that make you feel?”
“I was okay. I do not know what life she lives. Plus my mom is my real mom.”
It took me a second to realize what she was saying. Then it dawned upon me – she was talking about her adoptive mom. I had completely forgotten about that wonderful lady.

The rest of the time was spent talking about the new job she was going to start soon and playing with her younger daughter. That was an old promise kept – to come and see her daughter.

Thoroughly missed Julio though!!