Magesh and I have crossed paths multiple times in life – we were in the same engineering college, we have worked in the same company once and we have now lived in the same city twice. In fact, I see him often now since we work out of the same executive office facilities.

Once in a while, we get a chance to grab a drink in the evening. And those meetings are invariably invigorating for the few grey cells that I have left. I remember, a year back having a beer with him and arguing about how to prove which is bigger – e to the power pi or pi to the power e.

Today’s long friendly banter was around whether time is a fundamental concept (he supported this) or an imaginary concept (supported by me). Debating with Magesh is always about learning how smart people like he thinks… I got some great lessons today…

About a week back, you might have read in my blog or in Facebook my feature on Jessica (“A profile in courage”) and her own writeup (as my first guest writer) on her travails and how she has fought back every inch of life.

Many of you showed your support for her quietly, some by putting comments in my blog, some by voting that you “Like” her fight back story and some more put in encouraging words for her in Facebook.

She has taken great inspiration from your thoughts and words of support. I got this card from her recognizing how much your words have meant to her still ongoing healing process.

I know I post too much. Guilty! Too many of the running pictures, not so funny jokes and what not…. But the realization that my readers and I together, made a difference to somebody wonderful like Jessica, makes it all worthwhile for me.

Allow me to name all the ones who put in encouraging words on my blog and Facebook…

Shout out to all of you that made Jessica’s day and many more of you who did it quietly…

Sri Ganesh (my senior from my first job), Mrs. Bhowmic (my geography teacher in middle school), Sharmila (the one who reminds me how much I post 🙂 ), Amitesh (my alter ego in Atlanta), Ranajoy (my junior from middle and high school), Anushree (my classmate from elementary school), Subho Nath (my runner friend in Atlanta), Sumana Rao (my colleague from i2 days turned personal friend), Geeta Bhandari (my colleague in Mumbai from my first job), Vicky (one of my first colleagues who had the tough job of keeping me honest as my exec admin in i2), Moniruddin (my actual first friend of life), Brandee (my colleague from previous job in Atlanta – who also say right outside where I sat and was the brunt of a lot of my terrible jokes), Nita-di (our friend from Knoxville and my elder daughter’s heroine), Vineet Seth (my colleague from i2), Raja-Gautam (my friend from Atlanta), Debbie (Jessica’s friend), Tracy Fitzpatrick (my colleague from early start up days – another victim of my terrible jokes), Monolina (better half of my classmate from eighth grade), Swami (my peer, friend, philosopher and guide from yesteryears), Sibapriya (classmate from my middle school – and the first one to throw in his words of support for Jessica), MRs. Gurung (my home room teacher of eighth grade), Baisakhi Chakraborty (my friend from school days and a survivor by her own right – from an accidental incident and somebody who I consider lucky to be still on her friend’s list), Dipita (my wife’s classmate), Karen (my colleague from i2 days), Jayanta Biswas (another classmate from middle school), Jyotiswar (yeat another classmate from middle school), Shernaz (my colleague from first job in India), Amy Swotinsky (my colleague from my job in Boston), Sonali (spouse of my frind from middle school), Michele (colleague from my first job in Atlanta) and Lisa (colleague from my job in Boston).

I am really really proud that people like you who made a difference to Jessica count me as your friend!!

There was no way any of us would have ever guessed on the day after our tenth standard when the three of us went three different ways that we would actually come together under the same roof thirty four years later. With our spouses with us! In a country on the other side of the world!! In a winery up in the mountains!!

We were barely sixteen years then. The gap in between has been more than twice the number of years we had lived till then!!! As you can see from the middle picture, there was a lot of catching up to do!!!

That was a great afternoon with Manny (Manbir), Virginia, Subrata, Sharmistha, Sharmila. We also got to meet Manny’s daughter Simran and his niece Harneet!!

“Rajib, I have decided to leave the company”, confided the young lady – Jessica – who worked in our group. I was not very close to her, but was aware of she being a rising star in our group from the Talent Development meetings I used to have with my team leaders.

It was obviously a little disappointing to hear that message from her. I took her out to the nearest Starbucks to see if I could argue her out of it. But first, of course, I tried to understand why she had decided to quit. Clearly, I was not doing something right if one of our rising stars was not aware how much we valued her.

I remember most of the discussions from that day. And I actually never tried to dissuade her from her decision. But that is mostly because I was totally confused about her primary reason to leave the company and in fact move to a different city. I remember she was trying to explain to me logically her thought process. But I eventually gave up. I let her know that she could come back any day she wanted to. But it was not adding up in my mind.

That was in 2010.

“I remember you telling me that it was not adding up in your mind”, said the same Jessica when I met her for dinner last Saturday when I had gone to visit Nikita in her college campus. I had arrived the previous night in Charlotte and got together with her for a quick drink and dinner.

You know how sometimes a few seconds can completely change your perceptions and opinions? Well, then get ready for this…

Jessica volunteered the real reason why she left Atlanta. I have her permission to say this to all my readers but she had become one more of those helpless victims of sexual assault by a stranger. I must have stared at her for a full minute in disbelief. Too many things were going thru my mind. In fact, I am such a softie, I cannot even get myself to use some of the words she used to explain what was done to her.

I was completely numbed not knowing what had hit me. I had flashbacks of my wife and my daughter who was in Dallas that day and the other daughter who I was going to see the next day. I had flashbacks of my last meeting with Jessica in front of the Starbucks.

Frankly, I had no idea what to say. What are your first words to somebody who just tells you that they had gone thru the worst nightmare of a woman?

Thru the evening though, I got some of my strength back as she kept talking about how she has fought back. Emotionally, physically and mentally. One day at a time. One step at a time. I intently listened to her – about every step she had taken to get past her initial phase of just being sorry for herself and then picking up her broken pieces.

She has today turned it to a very positive energy by throwing herself to philanthropic causes. She has resolutely worked on converting the worst crisis of her life as a stepping stone to being the best person in the world. On the professional side, after some initial adjustment process after moving, she has gone from pillar to post in one success after another. In fact, she wanted my opinion on two great opportunities in front of her and what to do about them.

Driving back to my hotel, I felt so humbled by a young professional – twenty years my younger – in how she has succeeded in her career life. But I felt really really inspired by how she has fought (and frankly, still fighting) the odds to make a success of herself.

Gave me hope and strength to be a better man myself.

[I am going to see her again next week when I go to pick up Nikita. I will request her to write about her experience as the first guest blogger on my blogsite. Watch out for that in this space…]

As you must have read in my previous post, I was meeting Mahnia – a colleague from my past – after a long time. In fact, we were sitting at a table outside a restaurant. We were on the street and literally all the downtown people were milling around us as we caught up with each others’ lives.

During that conversation, I saw somebody go by us who I thought I recognized. But it was too quick and she had big sunglasses on. Ten minutes later, the same lady went past us again from the other side.

I told Mahnia that I thought I knew that lady. If I was not very mistaken, many moons back, she was the bar tender at the place Sharmila and I still go to this day on Sunday evenings. I remember her for teh cute nairband she would always sport and also for the fact that she was a row-er (is that the right word?). She coached folks who wanted to learn rowing in the Rowing Club near us. I had been toying with the idea of rowing for a long time since it would allow me to be with nature and also would be a good upper body exercise.

About half an hour later, that lady went past us yet another time!!! Mahnia insisted that I find out if it is the same person. I gave in and came out on the street and yelled – “Katelyn?” I was half expecting the lady to just keep going. Except that she turned around, recognized me in about half a second and yelled “Raj”?

Well, there was the second intersection point of the same evening!! Last time I saw her was when Sharmila and I visited her at a new bar where she had started working after leaving our Sunday night place. As I talked to her, I realized that she had moved on to great successes careerwise from there.

It was only for a couple of minutes. But it was so great to see her after such a long time again!!!

And for the record, Katelyn, if you are reading this post, you promised to come and visit Sharmila and me at Milton’s one of these Sundays…

Met Mahnia after many many moons since we had worked together. Funnily enough, most of our discussions were around time spent while NOT working. She is in a phase where she is taking time off from her job. Having gone thru that three times in life – and my family will argue the best three times of our lives – we talked a lot about the importance of taking “time outs” in life and pursuing very different goals. And eventually recognizing the mortaility of life – on other words, the finiteness of our life.

As we said this evening – Most of us do not wake up realizing n=n-1 now and live the rest of the day as if n is not a finite number.

I took some tips from her long hiking and long biking trips. Someday, I am sure I will get into those too.

It was great to meet an old colleague and a great human being!!

I think it was around 2003. Thoroughly exhausted after a week of intense meetings in Bangalore – and messed up by the time differences – I finally slouched down on seat 1C on a Jet Airways flight from Bangalore to Kolkata one Friday evening. I had my head down and was just trying to get some of my energy back. Through the corner of my eyes, sitting in the aisle seat, I could see all the people filing into the plane.

I suddenly saw this really cute young girl walk into the plane all smiles at me. I smile back at her. And thru the corner of my eyes, I could see there was a gentleman behind her. All I could see was up to his knees and he was wearing a kurta-pyjama. So as not to be a weird guy, I raised my head with the smile to acknowledge him too.

And that is when I go the shock of my life. The gentleman, as it turned out, was none other than Subhasis Ojha. Fancy meeting him – a guy who lived in Canada and was my team mate – on a flight in India. He introduced his wife Sanghamitra to me who was just behind him. It so happened that it was not the happiest moment for them. Of course, discounting the obvious fact that they had just met me, they had bigger challenges to deal with. Sangha’s mom had just passed away and they were headed for her last rites.

Believe it or not, after that day on the the plane, I actually managed to see both of them again this week, after a gap of almost a decade and a half.

It was a office meeting that got me to Toronto this week. After the meetings, I reached out to some of my old friends to see if they were available. Other than the Ojhas, there was Marty Flemington who showed up. The guy I will always remember as “Mr. Architect” – I saw him after another decade and a half. And what a great day too! It is his birthday today.

As onerous as travel and business meetings are – especially if you have to wait for an hour and forty minutes in customs – there are always memorable moments to create. And I am always grateful to friends like Subhasis, Sangha and Marty who make it so!!

That was a great experience in “What really matters in Life” exactly two years back. Reposted from that day…
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My good deed of the day…
I know this looks like an Italian painting (except for the modern lady handbags, perhaps) but it is a real photo taken with my phone. The backdrop of the story goes in the following way:

Natasha, who goes and stays in a dorm and takes classes in different colleges every summer often makes friends from very different cities and countries every year. I, being a person who values people and relationships over just about anything else in this finite time on this beautiful earth that we have fashionably named “life”, am always a little bothered when she does not keep in touch with many of those friends after summer.

Conversely, you can only guess my excitement when she declared that she was going to meet a friend that she had not seen after one of those summers – I forget whether it was Duke or Brown – when we visit New York. Karina (they call her “Karina with a K”) was going to visit her at our hotel. Except the whole plan fell thru at the last moment due to her dad’s office travel plans.

I was not feeling too good about leaving Sharmila and Nikita to visit Time Square by themselves but I did tell Natasha that I will take her to wherever her friend lived. Which, as it turned out was a two hour hike with three trains involved in between. But, it was okay with me – as long as she realized that life is all about the human relationships. Everything else is too materialistic to be worried about.

The train finally pulled into the Ridgewood station. And we arrived at the agreed upon meeting point. As soon as we started coming out of the tunnel, she spotted her friend at the top of the flight of steps. They ran as fast as they could towards each other and hugged each other hard.

Separated by a year in age, brought up thousands of miles away, they had come together for a few weeks a few years back. Then this afternoon, there was the moment where they saw each other again!!! The tunnel lighting was not good. But that is the best picture I could get of that powerful moment of strength of human relationships.

And here I am waiting at a nearby bar, biding my three hours as they catch up with themselves…

It all started as I was just finishing up my lunch at the airport. Steve Martin had turned the tables on me on my Facebook timeline by posting a picture inside an airport and asking me to identify it. It is the picture on the left. I correctly guessed that we were in the same airport!!

You can follow the thrilling story that ensued by reading the exchange he and I had on my FB post. I am writing it down here too to make it easy for you – with all the grammar and spelling mistakes intact:

12:05PM Steve: For Rajib Roy. What airport is this?
12:16PM Rajib: You in Atlanta? I Amin the airport right now.
12:16PM Steve: Boarding st gate C10
12:17PM Rajib: In how many minutes? I am in B
12:18PM Steve: Probably less than 15, bummer our flight getting here was delayed could have said hi!
12:19PM Rajib: I will give it a shot. Should be there in 5 mons
12:19PM Rajib: Mins
12:20PM Rajib: If you have to board go ahead but I am giving it a shot anyways
12:21PM Rajib: In train
12:22PM Rajib: In terminal C. Walking to c10 now
12:24PM Steve: Stepped out of line wife will save seat
12:24PM Rajib: C16
12:25PM Rajib: C12

AND WE GOT TO SEE EACH OTHER!!! Even managed to get somebody to take a picture of us. In the literally one minute we spent together, found out that Steve was headed with wife to New York and it is their 31st anniversary today!!

Too many memories flushed thru my mind during the walk – the early start up days of mid 90s, the hacky sack tournaments, the ping pong table, the dts-readers-list, emacs…. It has been probably 14 or 15 years since I had seen Steve last!!!

Our exchange did not stop there…
12:35PM Steve (from his seat): He didn’t even break a sweat!
12:35PM Rajib: It was awesome seeing you after so many years … even if for a few seconds.
12:37PM Rajib: Did you get your seat?
12:38PM Rajib: Thanks for waiting…
12:41PM Steve: Fun to be one of your random airport encounters with the past!
12:42PM Steve: I did and even get to sit next to my wife of 31 years today!
And he sent the picture of his lovely wife and himself as you will see attached in the picture here.
12:44PM Rajib: Awesome. Did you know 31 is an awesome number? The square of the reverse is the reverse of the square!!! Have fun with that!! And congratulations!

At that point either he decided he had had enough nerdiness for one day or they made him shut down his phone to pull away from the gate!!!

See, this is why I do not mind all the hassles of travel every week!!! What an adventure!!

During my business trips this week, I was fortunate enough to spend a few hours with Samir-da and Sima-di! It was way back in 1994 that Sharmila and I had just moved to Dallas from Florida. We did not know anybody there. And some how Ashok-da found us out and invited us to the local Durga puja (the big festival for us Bengalis). And then he and Sumita-di had us over at his place. It was there that we got introduced to Samir-da and Sima-di.

For the longest time the Ghoshals and the Chakrabartis were the local “dada-s and didi-s” (elder brothers and sisters) that Sharmila and I used to love associating with. Then, life took over. We got kids and became busy. We used to meet them only during the Pujas. Eventually, Samir-da and Sima-di left town. And then, we ourselves, left town.

For a long time, I had been wanting to spend some time with the Ghoshals and the Chakrabartis. Well, I got one part done.

And Samir-da was as hilarious as I remember him from the Texas days. Between his description of calamaris – “rubber band-e beson maakhiye bhejey dai” – meaning “battered and fried rubber bands” to the stories of how he consistently failed in math every single year from first grade to sixth grade by either scoring 0 or 10 (out of 100) unfailingly (or should it be failingly? 🙂 ) had me in splits the whole evening. By the way, for the curious, the school, in certain years had a policy of awarding 10 grace marks to failing students. And that is how, apparently, Samir-da would score 10 undisputed marks in those years!!

Like I said, it was too funny an evening and greatly satisfying to see Samir-da and Sima-di in high spirits!!