On my way from Kalyani to Kolkata, the first stop was at Mrs. Basu’s place. This was my foray into North Kolkata after a very long time. It is still as crowded as I remember. Seemed to be much cleaner than what I could recollect.

I had heard a lot about Mrs. Basu from her son – good old Avi – back in Atlanta. During our motorbike rides to grab a lunch or snacks to places around north Atlanta areas, Avi had talked quite some about his mom and all the places she has lived in her life.

What my brother and I found very refreshing in our conversations with Mrs. Basu was her very different attitude towards life – than most other octogenarians that I know of, anyways. In all the time that we spent together, she came across as a very purposeful and independent minded person. Further, she did not complain about one thing. Instead she talked about how she is happy with her lot – even with the fact that she lost her husband and her two sons are abroad and so she lives all by herself.

“What is the secret to happiness, then?”, I asked her.
“Managing your expectations of others,” she reflected very quickly.

Over our chat, I got to learn a lot about Avi himself – especially as he was growing up as a child. I think we need a few more motorbike rides to lunch places to discuss those. Of course, I will be sure to keep a safe distance from his arm’s reach when I do so 🙂

In addition, she mentioned about how she is very close to her daughter in law – Bani in Atlanta. Bani, if you are reading this – I think I am going to count that one thing against your mother in law this time 🙂

We left promising to meet again during my future trips.

While Somshekhar and I went to MBA school together, I did not know him much. In fact, our face to face interactions could not have been more than a couple of times. Over the last few years, I got intrigued by his comments on others’ posts on Facebook. What absolutely got my attention was his fascinating knowledge on very diverse topics. In fact, he is the only person whose book suggestions have been a 100% hit for me. It is more a reflection of similar interests. Also, we share common interest in groaners. Admittedly, his puns are more witty and wicked.

We had promised to sit down some time to exchange notes on life. I certainly felt I had a lot to learn from him and his life story. The new year started rather auspiciously for me with the first activity being sitting at a coffee bar in Bombay with this gentleman. What fascinated me in his life story is how he has often taken the road less traveled.

When all of us went after big jobs all starry eyed clasping an MBA degree under our arms – from IIM-A, no less – Somshekhar went back to his home in Lucknow after opting out of placement. He wanted to figure out what he wanted to do and be. I think for about four years he was in this state of self discovery and also thinking about going after Civil Services (he comes from a family of multiple Civil Servants). It was during this time that he tried out a lot of things.

I was amazed by how much Western classical and Indian classical he grasps. And when I say Indian classical – both Hindustani classical as well as Carnatic classical. In fact he took me thru some real in depth concepts that differentiate Hindustani and Carnatic classical music. I am completely out of depths in Western classical music – so that part was a short discussion.

Our discussions then veered towards books and his love for reading. Apparently, during that discovery period, he started reading up all sorts of books. We exchanged notes on what one or two books have influenced us most. For him, it was “Aztecs” by Inga Clendinnen. We also debated the pros and cons of reading books the traditional paper form (his preferred mode) and the electronic form (what I do today).

“Any learning from the life choices you have made?”, I enquired.
“People will respect you for who you are”, he said. He reflected on the fallacy of human beings missing the opportunity to discover themselves and being genuine rather than follow the precepts set by others on what “should be”. The deep irony he felt, was that eventually, respect and recognition from others come from being who you are rather than what others might have wanted you to be.

We decided to have lunch at this place. I wanted to see his collection of books as well as meet his wife and two daughters. I was glad that I did so because I found out a lot of intersection points with his wife Debanjana. First, she is from Durgapur (much junior to me). That evening I was to meet a school mate of mine – Debabrata – who had to back out at last moment due to a gall bladder surgery. (I know, the extent people will go to avoid meeting me 🙂 ). Guess what? Debanjana and Debabrata grew up as next door neighbors!

Remember Mrs. Sur who I went to visit in Durgapur before leaving town? Well a couple of houses down – literally on the same street – is where Debanjan’s folks (now, only her mom) live! We found many more common friends – Paromita in New York (who is the sister of an old friend of mine; Sharmila and I are now very close to her), Jay Vikram’s sister and so on. When I mentioned to her that I was going to meet Mrs. Dhar in Pune the next day, she knew her too!

But the best part was that she is a runner. She is much faster than me (10Ks in forty something minutes) and puts in more miles than I do now. Regardless, we had a good time exchanging notes on our running experiences. Maybe we can get Somshekhar to run someday and we can participate in an organized race together!

I truly should have become closer to Somshekhar much earlier in my life.

Last time I was in Pune, I came tantalizingly close to meeting my classmate from fifth grade (thru tenth) – Ranjan Ghosh. In fact, I was close to his house meeting somebody else but his office schedule could not match up with my flight schedule. He was therefore very high on my list this time to meet.

Thanks to his and his family’s graciousness – they decided to visit me in my hotel since I was dog tired after all the road travel from Mumbai and then in the Pune traffic – I had an outstanding time with the Ghosh family last evening. In a somewhat of a coincidence, his younger brother has moved to Atlanta recently and I managed to go check on him when his parents were visiting him from Durgapur a couple of months back!

The last time I saw Ranjan was in 1983 – more than three and a half decades back. Funny part is that he has remained pretty much the same. The same athletic build, head full of hair, mustache and all that. I could have picked him up from a crowd any day. It was great to meet his wife Munmun. She is from Rourkela. I rattled off the names of all my friends from Rourkela hoping she would recognize somebody. Unfortunately, she is too young to know my friends.

But I persisted in finding some intersection point and eventually it paid off. Turns out her younger sister is married to an ex-student of my mom. We, in fact, called up her brother-in-law Samar Sarkar and I chatted with him for some time. Sure enough, the network got thicker and thicker. He is a good friend of none other than my good old runny buddy in Atlanta – Samaresh!!!

That was not the only connection. Remember Mrs. Biswas – my tenth grade English teacher? I had made my last trip to Pune to meet her. Well, a little poking and prodding and we found out that Mrs. Biswas was Ankita’s (that would be Ranjan’s daughter) English teacher and Vice Principal in school (St. Mary’s, I believe). You should have seen the look on Ranjan’s face as he realized that all these days he was oblivious to the fact that his English teacher from St. Xavier’s, Durgapur is the exact same person as his daughter’s English teacher from St. Mary’s, Pune!! How cool was that?

Ranjan’s son – Ani – took a great liking to me. (Young kids can easily jump to wrong conclusions that way!) We exchanged some puzzles and riddles. Before we said goodbye, he walked up to me and said “Tumi khub interesting uncle”. (he accused me of being an interesting uncle). Now, that is something that should some strutting rights!!

It was great seeing the Ghosh family from Pune!

Maneesh and I met each other for the first time when we found ourselves in the same project in our very first job way back in 1991 in Mumbai (then referred to as Bombay). He was one of those very sincere, very sharp in software coding and a very shy kind of person. (As an aside, he is still very sincere and super sharp in technology – maybe not as shy; but hey! two out of three counts!!)

We came to US together – again, for a common project. Citibank had shipped us to Florida in the same flight. Eventually, both of us were shipped to Dallas together. And at some point of time, I left Citi but he continued. Over the years, we have some contacts (after all, who can escape my birthday calls 🙂 ) . The thing I knew about him was that he had started a company – Sena – which was into online security. As online banking took off, Maneesh and Sena did extremely well. Eventually he sold the company. By then he had moved back to India.

Ever since, he has focused his time and effort in social entrepreneurship (something he has grown a deep liking for after getting his MBA from Stern) and investing in start up companies.

I missed Maneesh last time I was in Pune. Not this time!! In fact, he was waiting downstairs at my Bengali teacher’s building to pick me up and settle down at a coffee shop. I obviously had a lot of questions for him. I am not an entrepreneur. That bug never bit me. Ergo, I am always intrigued by people who do that. I am curious about how their brains compute the risk-return curve.

Learnt a lot from Maneesh last afternoon during our meeting for a couple of hours – specially, the ups and downs of entrepreneurship.

“What have been the key learnings in the last few years, Maneesh?”, I asked.
After a few thoughtful moments, Maneesh offered – “Probably two”.

“First,” he explained “is the important of sticking to something. You may be good at something. You may not be. You may have early successes. Or you may not. Regardless, if you continue to persevere – eventually, you are going to succeed. May not be exactly the way you thought – but you will definitely succeed”.

He even suggested that not having early success might be a boon since that tends to wean out the competitive field quickly.

“And second learning?”
“The importance of networking. Whatever it is that one tries to do in life, one cannot do by oneself alone. You always need people who can give you that extra push or get you that all-important break. You need to cultivate your network assiduously. Conversely, you should help out people who reach out to network with you. Most people start networking when they need help not before. That is a mistake”.

In other words, your network can be your net worth.

It was not all work. We wasted no time picking on our great buddies over funny incidents from the past. No point taking names – but let’s say Srini, for example 🙂 🙂

Maneesh, thank you for making time for me. I have always admired you for building your own path. But I am even more in awe of you realizing how you are spending your time today helping others!

Till next time!

Thanks to Facebook and my insane habit of posting, I found out from Maitreyi this morning that she was in Durgapur today too. My first reaction was – “Maitreyi?” Meaning “Rini?” Of the “Cholo Rini, Cholbe?” fame?

I HAD TO SEE HER.

The story goes back to my previous post. This was when I was to hang out at Sharmila’s place all the time. Mr. and Mrs. Sur was their next door neighbor. They had two kids. One very docile and goody-goody boy called Kunal – probably about five years old. And a firecracker of a girl – around three years old. And that would be our aforementioned Rini.

Rini, as was her wont often, would find herself into Sharmila’s house and just park herself there and talk up a storm with any and everybody who would give her attention. One of those days, I guess, she had stayed on for too long. Mrs. Sur sent Kunal to retrieve her sister.

Kunal, if not anything else, was surely mortally afraid of her younger sister. Asking him to tell her to do something against her wishes was like sending him to the gallows. I still remember that day – Kunal gingerly walking up to the front room of Sharmila’s house and almost bleating out to his sister – “Cholo Rini, cholbey?”. Roughly translated, he was fishing for her overall take on the concept of going back home when it was too late. No points for guessing but Rini pretty much told him exactly what she thought of the concept of telling her to go home when she was not ready.

The rest of the day has always been a blur to me. Till date, I cannot stop laughing remembering that event. For ever that brother and sister was tagged with that “Cholo Rini, Cholbey?” identity in my mind.

You can see their picture in the inset. Rini was literally as old as her son is – who I had the fortune of meeting and befriending today. I think he figured that I matched his IQ and warmed up to me quickly.

Mrs. Krishna Sur has been the original inspiration for Sharmila to venture out of her educational profession (architecture) and pursue her love for paintings. Being an unparalleled artistic person herself and one of the most successful entrepreneurs Durgapur has produced till date, she has been a great influence on Sharmila during her formative years and later.

It was absolute the icing on my Durgapur visit cake to see the Sur family. Thank you Maitreyi for reaching out this morning. Memories of a lifetime gathered today.

I had finally managed to track down Smitan – or “Buri”, as we used to call her – a few months back. She is one of the last neighborhood kids that I have managed to find. I spent about three years in that neighborhood and had friends in ten of the twelve houses. I am down to one last house after this.

The last time I saw Buri was when my sister got married – that is a good two and a half decades back! I had received a few updates here and there in between. I had heard about Buri getting married and then about her dad (“Dutta Kaku”, as we call called him) passing away suddenly. But never had managed to talk to her till a couple of months back.

Surprised her last evening by walking into their house unannounced!! We continued with the reminiscing of those days right where I had left them with Bhoju and Paku a couple of days back! Got a chance to meet her husband and daughter too!

I am sure her daughter thinks I am a cool uncle because I told her everything that no other grown ups tell her – like studying to do well in tests is not really that important in life and that she should pursue what she wants to pursue (which is English, by the way) and so on…

I am not terribly sure Buri is going to open the door next time, at this rate 🙂

It was December, 1979. We had just moved to a new neighborhood. I was yet to be a teenager. One of the first kids who came to introduce themselves were these two brothers – barely 5 and 3 years old then. Found out their names were pretty long – so they went by Bhoju and Paku. Also found out that their mom was a schoolteacher like mine – although very different schools.

For the next few years, before I left home at the age of 16, Paku and Bhoju were part of our neighborhood games like soccer and cricket every evening. And during holidays and vacation, we would gather to play in the morning too.

The thing I remember most about Bhoju (the younger one) is how pleasant and uncomplaining he used to be even in those days. There were positions in the teams that were unpopular – goalkeeper for soccer or the one near the boundary line for cricket – since they were not too close to the action. It was difficult to convince anybody to man those positions. Except Bhoju. He was always willing to go stand wherever he was asked to. Never said No. More importantly, he would put in his heart and soul into the game from there!!

I had lost touch with both the brothers over time. And then thru a common friend – Antara – who had moved into the same house after we left that neighborhood too – had helped me get hold of Bhoju.

If you go to my blog – www.rajibroy.com and go to the posts of Nov 6, 2013, you will read about how I had finally cornered Bhoju in a cafeteria of a bank building in London where he was doing some projects and I had stopped by in London for half a day.

From then on, I have kept up with the brothers – certainly with those birthday phone calls. Also got to know about their wives and kids thru Facebook.

Finally, yesterday – lot of thanks to Tathapi (Bhoju’s wife) – I was able to meet the whole Chakraborty family in one place. Both the brothers and their families were there. So was Swapna masi and Chakraborty kaku!!!

As you can imagine – it was a great evening remembering those good old childhood days. We talked about the “masi” (lady) who worked as a help in their house (my neighborhood peeps who are reading this might remember her famous words after she got exasperated with the two brothers – especially Paku – “Bagaaitey pari nai, jhikimiki legey jaay” ). We talked about those neighborhood games… those “pochisey boishak” skits we used to put up and those hilarious non-acting we used to do!

The hours just went by. Eventually, it was time for me to take leave.

It was great to see everybody in the Chakraborty family. But the most heartening was to see that both Kaku and Masi are keeping up with their good health!!

Till next time!

Let me see if I can recreate all the ways we are different… In this picture you see…

Two are born Bengalis and one is not…
Two have married Bengalis and one has not…
(for that matter), Two who are married and one is not…
Two have lived in Chennai and one who has not…
Two live in America and one does not…
Two are from Corporate and one is not…
Two studied Economics for graduation and one who did not
Two who are bereft of hair on their head and one who is not…
Two who are from the same dorm in their MBA school and one who was not…

… I can keep going like this…

Not sure what strings thru the three other than having studied MBA together and being in Kolkata fortuitously together today at the same time.

The discussions were as lively as I would have expected in my MBA days. I saw Prakash (man, can I just say “Flojo”? – I struggle to even remember him as “Prakash”) after nearly 28 years. I saw Abhijit (again, “Goofy” is what I remember him as) a few years after a chance meeting at a bar a couple of years back.

Some of our discussions were a little mundane e.g. “How many of our batchmates that went around with other batchmates eventually tied the knot?” (the answer is “1” out of “way too many”). But some were a little more philosophical – “What have we learnt after leaving MBA school?”

There were some personal learnings for me in the discussions. Abihijit’s take on how he has learnt what he is good at and what he is not is something I am going to ponder over for some more time. But Prakash’s point on “it is fun to see the world from the others’ point of view” (he is in Advertising, by the way) is something I could relate to immediately.

Personally, I am still confused what the MBA classes, per se, taught me. What I have no doubt on is what I have learnt from the folks that I went to MBA classes with. Today’s lunch was a great reminder of that.

Abhijit, we live literally three hours of drive apart. Let’s not make Kolkata the only place we meet.
Prakash, for crying out loud, your sister AND your sister in law is in the US. Let’s make that maiden voyage there. I will come out and see you there. You are absolutely worth it!