28 March 2021

Not sure whether it was a walk or a feeding frenzy…

Two things can easily grab full attention from anybody in the Roy family in India – kids and dogs. You probably remember pictures from the past of my brother or sister with street dogs. Well, what I was not aware of when I accompanied my sister in her morning walk is that there will be first a full ten minutes of feeding all the street dogs in the neighborhood. Some of them have become so lazy with the routine that they refused to even get up – my sister walked up to them and gave them some snacks.

By the way, when I say morning walk – for my sister it was a run. She jogged steadily for an hour and fifteen minutes straight. Which she does everyday. She just did up and down trips on that half kilometer street. I walked up and down (could not keep up with her). Since my brother has gone back to running again, now we are at full tilt count of three for three among our siblings when it comes to running.

I do think that the dogs are running out of the habit of running for food, thanks to my sister!!

28 March 2021

Throwback to the mid-70s

Woke up after a couple of hours of sleep at 2:30 AM due to jet lag. Could not go back to sleep anymore. Simply came out and sat in the balcony.

At 4:15 AM came down to the gate and saw my sister picking flowers from trees (as part of her morning religious rituals). She offers those flowers to various pictures of Hindu Gods she has in her house, a picture of her late in-laws and now, our own late parents.

That reminded me how she and I used to do the same thing – pick flowers (sheuli flowers to be precise) very early in the morning and do the morning prayers. Not sure I was ever a big fan of the prayers. But always loved getting up early in the morning before most of the world did and picking flowers from the tree. Distinctly remember the coolness of early mornings – sometimes with light breeze.

I waited till she finished and then went for a walk with her…

27 March 2021

The school kid is ready to report to class!!

Eight years back, while rummaging thru mom’s kitchen, I had found my lunch box from kindergarten class! (one and only lunch box I ever had). This time, while going thru all my parents stuff, found my school box from kindergarten too! Again, the only school box I ever had!

Two revelations… my parents, coming from the financial background they came from, apparently threw NOTHING out!!

Second, man, the sum total of my knowledge could be held in a fairly small, aluminum box!! That is disconcerting.

I think I am going to take these to the USA as a memory of how my parents kickstarted my education process. That is where the school journey of a once-shy kindergartener began…

27 March 2021

An interesting bug in Apple Watch

First, apologies for the blurriness. Apparently, I cannot hold by hand steady when I find a bug in Apple software. In any case, I was watching the sunset from my parents’ place when I wanted to check the temperature and looked at my Apple watch. And this is what I saw…

Note that the temperatures it showed was around 75. First of all, that was not correct. The next screen has the right temperature – 91. But more importantly, see how the temperatures start rising after 9 at night. Went to the next screen to see what was happening.

Of course, the bug is with the sun! It apparently had decided to start rising at 9 PM with full glory.

[BTW, I tested out the phone and watch for time zones and all that – everything seemed to be fine. Also, the same thing happened the next day]

27 March 2021

Sometimes, the smallest things hit you the hardest…

Their eyeglasses, watch, everything… is in their place… but you realize that nobody is there to wear them…

It was hard to hold back those instinctive “Ma, aar ek cup cha hobey?” (Can I have another cup of tea?).

Not that I ever needed more tea to drink. I just did not have anything better to do. So, one more cup of tea it was. And mom would keep one whole kettle of tea ready. In two minutes, tea would arrive – and there would be an opportunity to chat with her for five more minutes before she ran away to the kitchen to make more food.

It is those small moments, those small things that are the loudest reminders….

27 March 2021

Seen from the bed’s point of view…

After realizing dad’s absence in his bed, I walked in straight to mom’s room to be greeted with this sight. This is the one bed none of us had reckoned with getting empty earlier than the other one. As I stared at the bed, it was like the whole life of the bed flashed in front of my eyes.

This bed – or cot as some would refer to it as – started its journey way back in 1964 in a small town called Kalna where my grandfather (mom’s dad) had chosen it to be a wedding gift for my dad – his soon to be son-in-law.

In 1964, this was what was my parents “bridal bed”. (“ফুলসয্যা”)

Over the next few years, it went thru a chronology of becoming the first bed I crouched up to my parents to, then my sister joined me and by the time my brother came around, this became the kids’ bed.

In fact from the late sixties till 1983 when I turned sixteen and left home, this is the bed that the three of us shared. We have fond memories of sitting up late at night in the bed and watching out in the dark waiting for the night watchman to walk by our street blowing his shrill whistle in dead of the night.

This is where we used to sit and study at times and fight with each other at other times. This is where each one of us learnt how to do somersaults (“ডিগবাজি” – the simple head rollover version).

Way too many nights our parents would yell at us from the other room to go to sleep as we would whisper and giggle too late into the night.

Then I got married. And this became our bridal bed.

A few years later, this became my brother’s bridal bed.

Then in 2012, the bed was moved to its fifth home – this house in Kalyani – and my parents reclaimed it.

In fact, back in 2017, when dad got bedridden – in this very bed – after his first stroke, all the grandchildren had descended upon him and sat around him as one big happy family. I still vividly remember him beaming with all this grandchildren around him in this bed.
Then three months back, my mom died laying in this bed.

And two months later, my dad followed suit – again, in this bed.

This piece of wood has witnessed what great cycles of life – birth – growing up – marriage – kids flying the nest – death and what have you…

One of the gut wrenching duties of surviving children after their parents’ deaths is to have to get rid of stuff. You know, this broken chair here, that rusted hammer there, that utensil that has clearly seen better days – those somehow defined what life was for them – what they considered their dear “belongings” and suddenly they find their value reduced to mere economical terms.

However, last evening, the three of us decided that this bed has done enough for us to deserve a longer lease of life with us. So, we are going to move this to my sister’s house.

Not that she needs one more bed. But it is the emotional and sentimental value.

Maybe some kid in our progeny will get yelled at by his/her mom or dad for not putting their digital device down.

Maybe some kid will do his/her online classes half asleep under the sheets in this bed.

Who knows?

27 March 2021

Poring over the pictures of our parents

Brought over two thousand pictures of mom and dad for my siblings on my laptop. The collection I have goes back to black and white pictures from the 60s that I had taken to the US in multiple batches and scanned them.

We spent quite a few hours going thru a small portion of them. It was great fun remembering specific events or conversations around certain pictures. In fact, there were some debates on the dates and locations of a few of them.

(My laptop is behind those pillows)

27 March 2021

The difficulty of describing a void

It is well nigh impossible to properly describe a vacuum or a void. Presence can be seen, touched, smelt… absence, however can only be felt.

And that is how the void hit me immediately as I stepped into my parent’s house. The first glance would be to my mom who would have opened the door and then immediately, I would look to the bed on the right where my dad would have been invariably laying down…

The bed is neatly set up in its usual place.

Gone are those Bhagvad Gitas and poetry books he used to sleep with.

Gone is that picture book I had made for him from our trip to his birthplace that he held close to him.

Gone is that curious looking hammer that used to be around to used as paper weight.

It is all just gone.

A chapter has been closed.

The bed is now prepped up, neat and clean, to start its next chapter. Whatever that might be.