“There was a man who wanted to transcend his suffering so he went to a Buddhist temple to find a Master to help him. He went to the Master and asked, “Master, if I meditate four hours a day, how long will it take me to transcend?”
The Master looked at him and said, “If you meditate four hours a day, perhaps you will transcend in ten years.”
Thinking he could do better, the man then said, “Oh, Master, what if I meditated eight hours a day, how long will it take me to transcend?”
The Master looked at him and said, “If you meditate eight hours a day, perhaps you will transcend in twenty years.”
“But why will it take me longer if I meditate more?” the man asked.
The Master replied, “You are not here to sacrifice your joy or your life. You are here to live, to be happy, and to love. If you can do your best in two hours of meditation, but you spend eight hours instead, you will only grow tired, miss the point, and you won’t enjoy your life. Do your best, and perhaps you will learn that no matter how long you meditate, you can live, love, and be happy.”

Excerpt From: Don Miguel Ruiz. “The Four Agreements.”

These days, everytime I open up Facebook, there seems to be a new wave that is sweeping the FB-world. Sometimes, it is “I am a banana (or whatever), what fruit are you?”, sometimes it is “ALS ice bucket challenge” and so on.

Recently, my good friends Priya and Antara (may their tribe increase) pulled me into one more of those FB-waves. I think it is about the Top Ten books that I have liked. Or something like that. Much to their dismay, I have not written down any of the names of the books I have liked.

There certainly is an element of “If everybody else is doing it, then I am not going to do it” contrarianism that I revel in (btw, “contrarianism” is just a sophisticated word to give some respect to what can be referred to – and as my wife once famously did in a public forum – as “weird”). However, there is probably deeper reasons why I have never published my Top 10 books. And for the same reasons. I marvel at other people’s reading habits.

1. First and foremost, I do not read fiction. Much to my wife’s dismay, I do not watch movies either, for the same reason. I lost all interest in reading fiction about 25 years back. Which is when I probably voluntary saw a movie. Not sure why, but it simply does not interest me. Therefore, I am always intrigued by how everybody else can get them totally immersed in essentially completely made up stories.

2. So, that has narrowed me down to about 0.01% of all books published, I guess 🙂 Here again, I have no common themes – but I go thru “interest areas” during phases of my life. And I read up as much as I can for that period of time (usually lasts about two years) on that topic. Most of those topics are of little interest to my friends.

My current interest is around understanding “minimalist living”. I am early in this stage. Before this it was about “cocktails” (coinciding with my goal to work at a bar as a mixologist).

My previous interest before that was mostly around understanding “happiness”. There are books that most people have never heard of like “Wherever you go, there you are” that have deeply influenced me. As has “Stumbling upon Happiness”.

I remember, previous to that, I was deeply interested in understanding how our brains process logic. This was after my mom became a psychiatric patient and I wanted to understand how the brain processes data to conclusion. From “Story of the Human Body” to “Descarte’s Error” to “Predictably Irrational”, I must have devoured close to ten books on this topic alone.

3. Here is an interesting reading habit difference. Most of my friends, when I ask, say they have read their favorite book once. Maybe twice. I think most of my friends can absorb from one reading far far more than I can. It might have to do with the content (maybe our brains need a few data points in a fiction and it can “join the dots” in between). I tend to read my books many many times. I have probably read “The Power of Now” seven times. And the reason is, when I read these books, I think I get about 1% of what the author is trying to say. And most of it is because I can relate to recent events that I have experienced. Resulting in me picking up very different learnings and messages, everytime I read the same book!!!

4. Again, unless all my friends, I have seldom finished any book. I can get to about 70% and then I skim the rest. The good news is that most authors can get the core of their message out in ten pages. And you can usually get most of the ten pages in the first 10% of the book. The only reason they put in the other 90% is because their publishers advise them that nobody will pay 20 bucks for their book otherwise 🙂 Again, this might be a reflection on fiction versus non-fiction. The fiction, logic dictates, reaches the culmination at the end of the book and therefore, unless it is a very boring book, every reader is enthused to read till the end.

5. I also read a lot of business books. Just to give you an example, when I became a first time CEO, I must have read at least five books on “Common mistakes that first time CEOs make”. Usually, you get one or two “aha” moments from each of these books. But I have to, unfortunately, go thru the whole book often to get to those moments. Some books that reflect on businesses of the past – “A better pencil” or “Better by Mistake” have given me much more than a few such “aha” moments….

So, there you go, Priya and Antara. I think you were hoping for a simple ten bullet point list. Instead, you got an essay. Hopefully you got an idea about my reading habits and what I like….Curious about whether you two or any of my other friends can relate to what I am trying to say….

Trying to fix this nagging issue I have that my FB comments are not getting pulled into my blogsite, I became over-adventurous today. Forgot the good old mantra – if it is not hurting you, leave it alone. Deleted a cross posting app and voila – all my old Facebook posts are gone!!! And it comes with a helpful feature – you cannot undelete! Arrgh! I manually reposted about 20 latest ones back.

If anyone of you care to see my old posts, you can always see it in my blog http://www.rajibroy.com. I have put in a calendar widget and an Archives widget that should help you navigate chronologically. Also, if you want to get to know of my updates, feel free to put in your email id on my blog – you will be notified whenever I put in a new entry.

Meanwhile, I am going to put a stiff drink in my glass and swear off my computer for some time 🙁 Maybe, I will start filling up those hospital and insurance forms with paper and pen 🙂

Updated the look and feel of my blogsite: www.rajibroy.com

Feedback to improve (or what is working) is welcome…

Yesterday I installed one of those counter plugins in my blogsite to see what the global distribution of people coming to my blogsite www.rajibroy.com (“The History of my Future! (First Draft!!) was. If you see my updates on Facebook or Google+ or Twitter or Tumblr or Linkedin, I actually do not write on any of those sites. I write on my blogsite which is then syndicated out to these social media sites. I was looking only at the analysis of people coming to my blogsite directly.

My guess was that the highest hits would be from USA and then India. Instead, I found out that out of 800 odd visitors in one day, half are from China!! Given the stereotype in this country of the Chinese snooping on us, I got curious and started looking into the details of which posts were the Chinese reading. I was totally floored to see that almost all the hits from China are visiting my Puzzle pages. Hmmmm!!! Now, I am really curious!! Which also reminds me that I have not posted a new puzzle in a long time.

Netherlands being third also surprised me. On the flip side, I was expecting much more from India. Also noticed there were no visitors from Africa or South America!!

Long day. Meetings with customers all over the DC area. And then I had to be in Philly for tomorrow’s meetings. I just drove up for a clean three hours. All thru the day, I have been worried about my father in law who is going thru the rehabilitation process at home after his hip surgery. I probably have called up Sharmila to check on them to a point that she is irritated.

I walked into downtown Philly Marriott completely tired and sleepy and as I was checking in, I noticed that the whole hotel was buzzing with activities. Not too uncommon for a downtown big Marriott. What was uncommon is the number of people milling around in wheelchairs.

I was not too sure what to make of it. But as I went into the elevator to take me to my floor, I ran into one more of the wheelchair folks. So I asked him if he was there an event. I learnt that he was there for the Annual Disabled Veterans’ sporting event. First, I had no idea there was such an event. Second, I was not going to bed then and there. I needed to learn more.

So, I changed into my casuals and came down. And started interviewing all the folks in wheelchairs. And asked them if it was okay to put their pictures on my blogsite. To the person, they all said Yes. But more importantly, they asked after my family, my daughters and my life story.

Some of the life stories I heard from these Iraq, Afghanistan and even Vietnam and Korean War Veterans are to truly die for. For example, take the two guys in the top picture. They found out a few events back that they grew up in the same neighborhood in Arkansas. As they put it “we knew common folks when we were still walking”. WOW!!! “Still Walking” can be a phase in life….. That is the thought that was going thru my mind.

Going back to them again, ever since, every event they make it a point to find each other and spend some endless hours together. It is not always easy. A trip like this costs them $2100 per person. They rely a lot on VA and private sponsorship. Next year this event is in Dallas. Which is where my daughters were born. I owe a lot of my happiness in life to that place and this country. So, I figured, I might as well sponsor both of them for next year to meet in Dallas.

Some of the words people spoke were to be heard to be believed. That Steelers fan in yellow shirt in the bottom picture? He was the most talkative of them all. We debated NFL for some time. But the best thing he told me – “I look at many people and they are in worse shape than me. I am doing good compared to them”. And I am like “Oh! God! And here I am. Worried about what I am not. Than being happy about what I am”….

And so on… For the next forty five minutes I went around talking to people and taking their pictures. Finally, I plonked down at the bar ordered a drink and started to think about what I learnt today. And write it up before I forget it….

Can’t wait to go back home tomorrow night and tell this story to my father in law…

Life is never about “what you have”. But what you “make of whatever little you have”. And yet we spend so much of our time and money to “have more”….

… Watching a dad help his physically challenged kid out of the car.

I was to pick up Natasha from the horse farm at 1 PM. I reached there a few minutes early and parked the car on the ground along with a few other cars and a horse trailer. And then waited in the car with the engine and air condition on. Presently, a small blue car pulled up and a gentleman got out. He went straight inside the barn. I assumed he was there to pick up his son or daughter too.

A few minutes later he came out of the barn. He was by himself. I figured the kids were going to be a little late (they have to untack the horses and all that). I shut down the engine and stepped out of the car to chat up the gentleman. He, instead, greeted me and went straight back to his car. I noticed then that his car was running too. Maybe, he was going back?

He went to the driver’s side alright, switched off the car and came around to the passenger side rear seat and opened the door. It was then that I noticed a small kid in the rear seat – he was probably no more than 7 years old; he was struggling to get out by grabbing the seat in front. His dad was softly speaking with him all the time. Eventually, his dad stuck his head in and grabbed his arms around him and gently pulled him out. He held on to him as he took him to the barn. And I noticed that the kid had an artificial leg.

I stood there mortified by my car. So many emotions were flying thru my mind. I am a dad. Instinctively I put myself in that gentleman’s shoes. And suddenly I remembered why Natasha started coming to this barn to begin with. I had never asked her all the details.

So, on our drive back, I told her what I saw and asked her if she could tell me the details of what happens inside and what she does. This summer, she volunteered in this barn that does, what, she explained to me, is called hippotherapy. I understand physically challenged, mentally challenged (and from Wikipedia I found out later even speech challenged) undergo a therapy where the horse riding and horse movements are used to train the motor skills. Natasha explained how the horse riding focuses the mind because of multiple things to take care of at the same time and that is used as a gentle mental exercise.

As we pulled in the garage and she left the car, I sat back in the car to think thru what I had just learnt. My mind drifted into deep thoughts back to the kid and how blessed he was that inspite of a tough deal from life, he is blessed with parents that are there to literally walk with him every step. I also thought about the lady who ran that farm. She, of course, does not do this for charity. But I hope she makes a lot of money. If there was ever a noble cause to pursue and make money, this certainly had to be it.

I also felt extremely privileged that Natasha taught me about hippotherapy but more importantly that she had chosen to channel her love of horses and her summer time to such a great cause. Next week, I might actually stay back after dropping her to see a great cause in action.