This year a new shoot has cropped up right next to where a dead twig fell off the tree last year.

“The old order changeth yielding place to new
And God fulfills himself in many ways
Lest one good custom should corrupt the world.”

(King Arthur to Sir Bedivere, “Idylls of the King”, Alfred Tennyson)

“I wish you enough!”©
By Bob Perks
I never really thought that I’d spend as much time in airports as I do. I don’t know why. I always wanted to be famous and that would mean lots of travel. But I’m not famous, yet I do see more than my share of airports.

I love them and I hate them. I love them because of the people I get to watch. But they are also the same reason why I hate airports. It all comes down to “hello” and “goodbye.”I must have mentioned this a few times while writing my stories for you.

I have great difficulties with saying goodbye. Even as I write this I am experiencing that pounding sensation in my heart. If I am watching such a scene in a movie I am affected so much that I need to sit up and take a few deep breaths. So when faced with a challenge in my life I have been known to go to our local airport and watch people say goodbye. I figure nothing that is happening to me at the time could be as bad as having to say goodbye.

Watching people cling to each other, crying, and holding each other in that last embrace makes me appreciate what I have even more. Seeing them finally pull apart, extending their arms until the tips of their fingers are the last to let go, is an image that stays forefront in my mind throughout the day.

On one of my recent business trips, when I arrived at the counter to check in, the woman said, “How are you today?” I replied, “I am missing my wife already and I haven’t even said goodbye.”

She then looked at my ticket and began to ask, “How long will you…Oh, my God. You will only be gone three days!” We all laughed. My problem was I still had to say goodbye.

But I learn from goodbye moments, too.

Recently I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and he said, “I love you. I wish you enough.” She in turn said, “Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy.”

They kissed and she left. He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, “Did you ever say goodbye to someone knowing it would be forever?”

“Yes, I have,” I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me.

So I knew what this man experiencing.

“Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever goodbye?” I asked.

“I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, the next trip back would be for my funeral,” he said.

“When you were saying goodbye I heard you say, “I wish you enough.” May I ask what that means?”

He began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.” He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more.”When we said ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them,” he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he
were reciting it from memory.

“I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough “Hello’s” to get you through the final “Goodbye.”

He then began to sob and walked away.

My friends, I wish you enough!

It is all about the sensationalism. Unfortunately they cater to us – so obviously we buy this kind of news.

Checkout the online version of CNN and USA Today. There is a prominent news article of a cop in Texas who shot a 93-year old. I did not even open it after reading the headline.

I found on FB about a different cop incident. I searched on Google. Not a single hit came from CNN or USA Today. Here is the top link I got.

I really really wish I could get a little more coverage on these kind of news…

It is scary how all the stuff that I have gathered around me takes up all my time, peace and focus.

My stuff and me. Who owns whom?

Can’t remember whether this haiku was by Masahide or his teacher Basho –

“Since my house burned down,
I now own a better view
Of the rising moon”

I am in favor. Two of my worst customer service suppliers getting together. That can mean I will get over my frustrating calls done at the same time…

Shamshan
“Manzil to teri yehi thi, bas
Zindagi guzar gayee teri aate-aate
Kya mila tujhe is duniya se?
Apnon ne hi jala diya tujhe jaate-jaate”

Cremation Grounds
This was always your ultimate destination
But you spent your entire life reaching here
What did you get from that life of yours?
Your own set you on fire before leaving here!!

I am constantly amazed by the power of the piddly iPhone camera!

After the effusive praises (I am sure I am deserving of far less) Jenny Nash showered on me for wishing her a happy birthday, I got thinking first thing in the morning – how did I even get started? I greet over 2000 people happy birthday every year and sure enough, it had a very interesting beginning.

In 1995, I was promoted to be a manager – for the first time in my life. I was to be development manager of a few UI developers. I asked myself how could I differentiate myself? I already knew – with occasional reminders from well wishers like Bob Hart 🙂 – that I was not much of my developer myself. (I guess that is why I got promoted? 😉 ). I had resolved to see if I could excel in Customers and People. And it was that thirst to be known to be a great people manager that drove me to understand how to recruit talent, build talent, develop talent and so on. And in the process also how to get to know people at a deep level.

One of the tools I had developed was to greet my teammates on two days of the year – their birthday and their anniversary day (in our company). It was fairly uncommon in those days – at least in my company – so much so that most believed that I had a cron job (automated; those days I worked in Unix) that I had set up. Eventually, the feedback to this practice was so overwhelmingly positive that I enlarged to include team members from outside my team, then customers, personal friends and now just about anybody I meet.

I had had some hilarious bumps on the way. One of the early ones – and this has happened multiple times – was when I became a higher level manager. Every time we had a new employee, I would write down their joining date and then ask for their birthday. More than one employee had complained to HR about this. Lady employees were uncomfortable sharing their age and elderly employees were afraid of discrimination if management knew their age!! This, inspite, of clarifying that I was seeking just month and day!!!

This continued for a few years. Year after year, I would send birthday emails out. And no, they were not copy pasted. And then technology like FB came and messed me up. First, everybody started to wish everybody publicly on FB about their birthdays. This had two issues. When I wished somebody, many felt I picked up their birthday from FB – which I thought diminished the value of the effort I was putting. (I write it in my calendar). And the whole unique value prop was under threat.

So, after a year, I had to improvise my strategy. I realized that FB had made it easy for people to send wishes (and also for the recipient to send mass Thank You in one message). To create a niche, I had to focus on quality. And that thought has now started a process where I am moving away from email based wishes to actually calling people up.

I am in transition. I am still settling in the new process. Given my travel schedule and the different time zones in the world, I do not often make it every day – in which case, I will wish by email at the end of the day. Long commute hours is something I do not hate any more!! Also, I leverage FB to send personal messages to wish if email and phone number bounce back. (For whatever it is worth, I hate wishing people publicly. I still think of it as a very personal one-on-one message).

And then FB royally extracted its revenge on me last year. Made the mistake of connecting FB to my address book. It quickly overwrote my painstakingly gathered birthdays with the self-declared birthdays of the person in FB. (Without asking me how to resolve the conflicts!!!! 🙁 ) It is often that people purposely give a wrong birth date. (This is a good practice, in my opinion, given the amount of identity theft in the world). And that started the process of me wishing somebody on a wrong date, finding it the humiliating way that I had messed up and then correcting my address book 🙂 And promising never to connect my address book directly to the social media 🙂 A few of those errors are still taking some time to work out the kinks. My friend from Dallas – Badri – knows very well how I have raised wishing him on the wrong day to a level of fine art!!!!

That said, I have had some positive outcomes too!! In December 2004, a birthday wish to a sales guy I had not met for a long time led him to get me to meet his client and one thing led to the other and that January, he signed a rather large deal. And yes, he, as well as the two key guys on the client side still get birthday wishes from me annually!! Another story – in October 2012, I left a voicemail for an executive at a customer wishing him happy birthday! When he returned the call, one thing led to the other again, and in a few months, he switched jobs to work in my current company!!!! There are numerous such experiences I fondly remember.

So, I am often asked, where do I get the energy to do all this? Well first, I think this is a great way to network with people. Once a year, this forces me to think of my people in the network and talk / connect with them. You never know when I may be of help or they might be able to help me. As Jenny said, “paying it forward”.

I also have found this as an excellent way of keeping my address book updated. Beats the business model of Plaxo 🙂

But the real reason is that I feel indebted greatly to people who have touched my life. In so many ways, I am the end result of all the cumulative influence people around me have had over the years. While I say “Happy Birthday”, I guess, what I am saying is “In this short journey of life of yours and mine, I am delighted that we had the opportunity to walk together for a few steps. Every step in that journey has enriched me and made me a better man. Thank you for that. My call today is to let you know that I have not forgotten you nor what you meant to me. Because today is special to you, it is special to me too. Thank you again and I certainly will seek more intersection points with you in my path.”

And to be able to convey that heartfelt “Thanks”, I can always find the energy to get up a little early to make sure I make time to wish you on your special day!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I wish you a Happy Birthday!!!