Like every year, that day is here again! Have to say that this time it snuck up on me. However, now, I can hardly wait!! I am afraid that amidst all the celebrations, I might not get a chance to thank all of you personally on Facebook. So, let me thank you upfront, right now!!

Coming to think of it… maybe it is not just Bengali moms… maybe it is Bengalis…

An actual quote from my daily phone call to my mom this morning. She was explaining how my dad is doing health wise… “Eto gorom porechhe je thanda legey gechhe”. If I could get a break from my peals of my laughter, I would translate it for you as “It is become so hot outside that he has caught a cold”!!!

We, the poor Bengalis can never quite figure out how to set this world’s thermostat correctly.

It is cold outside? Thou shalt catch a cold!
It is hot outside? Thou shalt catch a cold!
It is raining outside? Thou shalt catch a cold!
It is a little windy outside? Thou shalt catch a cold!
There is a lunar eclipse today? Thou shalt catch a cold!

It is like when we were created, our God was in so much hurry that he pressed “Page Down” before He could add the DNA covering sweaters in our genes. And of course, we do not know who to complain to. Bengalis have many many Gods (literally 330 million Gods – if they were to be distributed among my fellow Americans here, everybody would have gotten one and we would still have a few millions spare Gods left). Yet, we do not have a God manning the complaints department.

Arrgh!! Meanwhile, can you pass me my monkey cap, please? The sun is getting real hot today!

India announces that its prime minister Modi would be meeting Facebook founder Zuckerberg this month.
In a hurried press conference, Facebook announces it is working on a new Dislike button.
Coincidence? I think not 🙂

[Yes, this is the third flight of the week and I am bored 🙂 But fresh from the bout of Top Five things that would happen the day after Donald Trump became the President, I figured I should turn my attention to Chris Christie too. Feel free to add to the list of what happened the day after Chris Christie became the President of USA]

Christie lost no time in calling up the Nobel Prize Commitee to find out when would he be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize which, per his understanding, is given to anybody who gets elected to be the US President 🙂 Eventually, a compromise was reached between White House staff and the Powers That Be to enter Chris Christie’s name in the Guinness Book of World Records under the section “What man made object on Earth is visible from the moon”. 🙂

In his first TV interview after being elected the President, Christie was asked why he believed Americans trusted him to solve the immigration problem more than anybody else. Christie pointed out that most of the illegal immigrants cross into the USA through well concealed tunnels underground. He credited USA citizenry for recognizing his superior level of experience in shutting down tunnels to strand people on either side compared to any other candidate.

In anticipation of a large White House contract (to track illegal immigrants), Fed Ex boosted their total capacity by announcing an imminent deal to buy UPS. The CEO of Fed Ex explained that, in line with the mood of the citizenry, the new company will be called FedUPS. The outgoing UPS CEO, recognizing that FedEx won the war over them, admitted “We never really quite found out what Brown could do for us”.

The Top Five likely events to occur the day after Trump wins the Presidential Elections. Please feel free to add your own 🙂

1. Trump tries to pacify Melania who is throwing a hissy fit over having to move to a smaller house 🙂

2. The military scrambling to repaint the plane to name it “Hair Force One” 🙂

3. To fulfill the manifesto promise to shut down the Department of Education, Department of Commerce and another one that he cannot remember either, Trump converts them to Trump casinos 🙂

4. Department of Justice starts drawing up a plan to deport each and every illegal immigrant. Juan by Juan. 🙂

5. In order to hear his acceptance speech that morning, the nation that just elected Trump as President, mistakenly tuned to the TV show “Orange is the new Black”. 🙂

[and remembering one famous line from Jon Stewart… the official handover from Obama to Trump was televised by MSNBC under the headlines “When Barry met Silly” 🙂 ]

I just found out something. The Twitter handle for Donald Trump is #realDonaldTrump !!! My first reaction was “Really? The Real Donald Trump?? Why??? How many idiots are out there pretending to be Donald Trump?” 🙂

The collective dismay expressed at the prospect of Kanye West standing for President in 2020 notwithstanding, I, for one, am rooting for him to stand for President in 2016. We desperately need somebody who can snatch the microphone off from Donald Trump 🙂

… to understand the joke 🙂 Too funny 🙂