24 July 2016

Ah! those pesky little things called “children”

First day of vacation to celebrate the impending passage of Natasha’s next step in life – leaving us to join college. While many parents have gone thru this phase in their lives, for Sharmila and myself, this will be our first. It will be interesting to see how each one of us internalize this passage of our own lives – the balancing of the joy of seeing her grow to be her own woman on one hand and then breaking out in sweat at night realizing that if we walked over to the other room, she is not going to be there, on the other…

Today, she is going to see some of our very old friends who often helped us manage her when she was a mere baby. Many of them have not seen her since those days (and have never seen Nikita!). It probably will not make a big mark in her mind, but for me, it will be momentous watching those “intersection points”.

There is a fascinating poem by the great Lebanese-born American-settled poet Kahlil Gibran called “On Children” that does an exemplary job of setting the parent – children perspective in the larger context of Life.

——

“Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
But seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
As living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
And He bends you with His might
That His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
So He loves also the bow that is stable.”

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23 July 2016

Nikispeak – Pokemon Go!

Getting off the airport train, I told Nikita who was looking for Pokemons (or whatever it is that they look for in that game) on her iPhone: “Niki, we are on vacation. You have to enjoy the sights and the surroundings”
She: “Dad, I have seen this airport so many times”
Me: “If you are going to be obsessed with Pokemon Go, we could have stayed back home”
She: “Dad, I do not have an obsession. Just an unhealthy interest” !!

🙂

10 July 2016

A starry night of memories…

The year was either 1972 or 73. The time was somewhat late in the evening. I had come back from the playgrounds after playing with the kids in the neighborhood. The power (electricity) had gone off. My mom had lit up the two “hurricanes” (lanterns) that we had since it was starting to get dark. I remember my mom asking me to bring a cup of tea to my dad. I took the cup of steaming hot tea very carefully one step at a time from the kitchen to our outside yard where my dad was relaxing in his “easy chair” after coming back from the steel plant (he started his career as a physical laborer there and then rose to be an inspector). An “easy chair” for my friends in America can be best described as a hybrid of chaise lounge chair and a hammock.

In any case, as I handed the tea to my dad, he said “Ekhane boso” (Sit down here). Then looking up in the sky, he taught me how to spot the Great Bear, Mars and Jupiter. Also went on to explain how to differentiate the planets from the stars by their twinkling. I also remember peppering him with questions like “What is there in the gap between the stars?” and “Why are some stars brighter than others?”. But what I remember most is that after some time, my mom yelled from inside to come back and sit down to study.

I remember pleading with my dad that I needed to know a lot more about my stars. I glossed over the fact that the gentle breeze outside was very relaxing on my skin and I just wanted to feel it for more time. Or that I was fascinated by the two street lights beaming their cone of light in the otherwise impenetrable darkness and wanted to go and see how the ground looked like in that cone of – what? maybe 40 watts of light …

To my immeasurable disappointment, he sided with my mom – “Jao, ebar bhetorey giye portey boso” (Go inside now and study). As that frail, thin as a rail reluctant me trudged back to that one lantern that was rationed for me and my sister to study by, I recollect resolutely promising to myself that some day I will be my dad. I would not have to listen to anybody. That day, I was going to sit outside the whole night. I would just stare at the stars from my easy chair. I will not have to listen to anybody else. Just the stars, me and the two street lights.

Nearly 44 years later, I am out in Helen area with the family and a couple of friends of my daughters. And tonight is the last day of this vacation. You have to come to the mountaintop with absolutely no city lights to recognize the similarity of the night sky filled with stars with the sky that used to be Durgapur’s in its early stages of formation. After bidding the entire family good night, grabbed some classical songs, my favorite wine and stepped outside in the patio after switching off all the lights.

While the sky is densely pixellated with those stars still twinkling – 44 years later – perhaps smiling at me for having strayed from my promised path, the dark night has not lost a single sheen – if sheen is the word I am looking for – of its charm and depth. There is a level of a quietness and reflection only the pitch darkness of a night can provide. I have not yet learnt what it is that fills that space between all those stars but it sure is reassuring to know that the stars are still out there – not havin lost their ways as I might have.

What the God gifted eyes can see and feel, modern technology can barely light a candle to. While the silhouette of the trees are clearly visible to the naked eye, and the zillions of stars embedded in that black blanket of a sky is there to be seen to anybody who is willing to open his or her eyes, the best of cameras could not even catch a glimpse of it. All my attempts with a DSLR and iPhone and software to brighten it up gave me a just a black picture as you can see in the attachment.

It has been almost five hours since midnight of complete darkness. The byzantine labyrinth of stars has been my constant companion. And now, slowly but surely, the eastern sky will start to light up. Almost like that lantern I could see inside our house from where my dad was sitting that day.

And just like that evening of 44 years back, I will want the lantern to go away for some more time… I need some more time to grow up…

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10 July 2016

Sometimes it is all about letting go….

Drove Nikita and her friend down from the log cabin to downtown Helen. All they did was sing Spongebob Squarepants songs at the top of their voices for the entire trip (including while in the car, with their windows down). Quite a few bystanders were bemused. I am sure some of them questioned my parenting skills – but I was like “Whatever, man! One life it is. If I knew the words, I would be singing too” 🙂
Finally, when I dragged them to the parking lot, they insisted on jumping up and down for a few minutes before they were ready to climb up to the car and head back to the log cabin…

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