20 May
2015
19 May
2015
“What is a blogger?”
“Aachchha baba, ei blogger byapar-ta ki?” (‘Son, what is this thing called blogger?”), he asked as he got up on his bed and sat down again. The good news is he seems to be gaining physical and mental strength enough to will himself to get up and sit down on his bed. Per my family, this is the best they have seen him in the last ten days. The difficult thing though is that now I had to figure out a plausible way to explain what is a blogger. As you may or may not realize, there are three main challenges in explaining the concept of a blogger to my dad.
The first challenge, clearly, is explaining the concept of a blogger to my dad 🙂 To this day, he is still worried about how does this thing called Google (or as he calls it “Googly”) get to know everything. Forget that – he still has not figured out how my brother in Kolkata gets to know his (dad’s) medical test results done in Kalyani earlier than he himself does. He thinks email means the hospital guy rattles off all the results on the phone to my brother who diligently writes them down on paper and pen. I could barely get past a simple explanation that a blog is like a daily journal where you can write your opinions, stories, events – whatever you want. Instead of paper and pen, you write it on a computer which keeps it in the internet. His immediate interruption was to enquire if I can write blogs too. I told him, yes and that I indeed am a blogger. You could see the pride of an Indian dad welling in him and overflowing in his face. He has not a clue what is a blogger but he was proud as proud can be that his son was a blogger. Go figure!! I am sure by this time he had figured out that if his son was a blogger, it probably is not a bad thing after all. Might be even a great thing 🙂 After all, his son does it 🙂
The second challenge is my dad relies on a few time-tested sources of information for himself. “Ami AT Dev-er dictionary -tey kothao khnuje pelam na”. Meaning, he could not find that word anywhere in AT Dev dictionary (a popular local English dictionary) . And as everybody in his neighborhood knows, if it is not in AT Dev dictionary, the entire English empire has no power to come up with any more new words. Mind you, the said AT Dev dictionary that he has is the 1973 edition – before even internet was around. Let alone blogs and bloggers.
The third challenge – and this is a tough one – is that he is hard of hearing. Over the years, watching him, I have concluded that being hard of hearing and having an infuriating need to understand everything going on around you is highly positively correlated. We got him a high end hearing aid. Just like his attitude towards dialysis, he just refuses to give in to that. I would barely start “Blogger maaney holo….” (‘blogger means…’) and he would rudely interrupt me “Smuggler??????” (this one needs no translation 🙂 ). Trying to suppress laughter while explaining a blogger is not something for the faint of the heart.
In any case, after a long (and enjoyable, I might add) conversation, he concluded (without being any the wiser on what a blogger is) “Koto ki sob beriyechhe. Koto kichhu dekhey gelam”!! (‘So many things have been invented.. So many things I got to learn before I die’).
Thinking later, I kicked myself for not going for a simple Machiavellian route – “Bloggers are people who have been completely cured after going thru dialysis”!!!! 🙂 “Tumio blogger hobey?” 🙂 🙂
19 May
2015
Funny start!!
My brother, nephews and myself marched into my dad’s house this afternoon and found him asleep in his bed. Which is what we were expecting. Half an hour later he woke up and in the first sign of physical improvement, instead of continuing to lie down, he got up and sat down in the bed.
And then something happened that showed that mentally he is bouncing back too… After asking about my flights and such, he called the nephews closer to him. In a sign of good spirits, he asked them “amakey tora dujona miley knaadhhey tultey paarbi to?” Meaning – “you two can lift me up on your shoulders right?” in an apparent reference to the walk to the crematorium after his death.
Riku – the elder one – was trying to do the math in his mind around weight and shoulder strength. Rishu – the younger one – gave it less than a second’s thought and said “Keno? Truck daakbo.” (“Why? We will rent a truck!”)
We are off to a good start!!
18 May
2015
We pulled it off!!!
The much anticipated evening went off without a snag. In reality, by the dint of the fact that the meeting lasted for four hours (originally I had planned for two), one might even conclude that it was a smashing success. To understand the backdrop of this meeting, read here.
To put all the emotions and enthusiasm – of the first time three folks who crossed each others’ path (but never together) more than three decades back actually sitting down together under the same roof – in a few paragraphs is gong to be way beyond me. I can give you an idea how it started. As Piyali, Jayita, Rajaram (Jayita’s husband) and myself got together, my pleasantries included “Rajaram, you look different”. Rajaram, the soft spoken guy he is, demurred that nothing really has changed in the last three years. Not willing to give up, I suggested, “Maybe you did not have a mustache before?”. Our doubts were settled finally (in my favor, I might add) once I went to my blog and fished out a picture of him from three years back!! And that is when we all settled down for a nice bottle of wine!!
Of course, I had met Piyali a few minutes before and my first reaction was “Where is the rest of you?” 🙂 She has dropped an unbelievable amount of weight. We got a few minutes to discuss her multiple attempts to drop weight over the years and finally how the kettle ball exercise clicked for her. We also talked about running and how to get started in a gentle way into long runs…
It was magical catching up on each others’ families, the old friends we had crossed paths with in the past and our experiences of living in three different countries. The evening was worth just remembering some of those souls from our past (and adding to my “must visit sometime” list). The gravy was catching up on our families and personal lives.
Of course, intently listening into the girls’ conversation as they talked about their old crushes (while I completely feigned I had no idea who they were talking about) is something I am hoping to leverage to the hilt some day. Okay, maybe I have deleveraged already since Rajaram (Jayita’s husband) and I laughed about it later anyways!!!
Before I knew it, my ride to the airport was ready!!!
I am not sure I can put the three of us together ever again. But I sure hope that will not stop us from getting together in pairs…
18 May
2015
Three way intersection point!!
This is the story of how the three of us who grew up within a couple of miles from each other and got separated by thousands and thousands of miles across continents as we continued growing up finally might come together under the same roof for a couple of hours!!
For the first part, you might have to go back to the story I had published in June 2012, where I had tracked down Jayita from my fourth grade days finally in Dubai. Sharmila and the kids got a chance to meet Jayita’s family. You can read about it here.
For the second part, there is an interesting twist. I was introduced to Piyali circa 1986 by Madhumolli in Kolkata. While Piyali and I grew up in the same small place, we never had met before. That same Piyali has become a very famous doctor now in Kolkata. Fortunately for me, thru all her successes and fame, she has chosen to remember me.
A few weeks back, I made my annual call to her to wish her a very happy birthday!! I also paid her a compliment on losing some significant weight – from what I could figure out in Facebook pictures. She explained how she has focused on diet control. I took the chance to ask her to start some exercise like brisk walking or running. I assured her that running is not as scary as it sounds.
“I will tell you what. I will be coming to check on my dad in three weeks’ time. I will come by your house one early morning and we will go for a run”… that is exactly how our call ended.
This Friday, I called her up in Kolkata to set some date to go for a run. She informed me that she would be in Dubai that time. For a moment I was amazed how far she would run away just to avoid me 🙂 But I also remembered that she had a practice in Dubai too and went there very regularly.
“Okay, we will run in Dubai, then”, I said to her utter shock. You see, she did not know that I was routed thru Dubai to go to India and I had a long – and I mean a very long – fourteen hours to be precise – layover. I could easily come out, put in a run and then go back and take a shower in the airport. She could not believe for a moment how far I would chase her just to make her run 🙂 Eventually, I explained the whole situation.
That is when I remembered something.
“Hey, do you know Jayita?”
“Which Jayita”
“Mukherjee. From Durgapur”
She thought for a while and said “Yes”. And described her.
“How do you know her?”
“We went to Carmel school together”.
That was confusing to me. I knew Jayita never went to Carmel school but Piyali’s description was fairly accurate. Regardless, I said “Okay. How about this? We will skip running this time. But how about the three of us get together in Dubai?”
“What? How? Where is she?”, she asked!
“Jayita lives in Dubai!!”
That was that!!!
Immediately called up Jayita half expecting her not to know Piyali.
“Hey, did you ever study in Carmel School?”
“No”, said Jayita, as I had expected.
“Do you know Piyali?”
“Which Piyali”?
“Mukherjee”
“Doctor?”
“Yes”
“I think I do”
“How can you possibly know her? You and I went to Benachity Junior High School – I know she did not study there. She went to Carmel – I know you did not go there. Did you meet her in a different context”.
Jayita thought for a few seconds and said “You know Rajib, I think we studied eleventh and twelfth class in Bidhan school”
That made a world of sense to me. Finally!!
“How about the three of us grab a drink in Dubai on Monday evening?”
“What do you mean? Where are you? Where is she?”.
Of course, I explained the whole story to her…
And here I am … half way thru to Dubai from Dallas … 37,000 feet above northern Europe… wondering how it would feel to have three friends who were connected to each other but never overlapped – started their life journeys in the same place but now are in three corners of the world… finally get together under the same roof for the very first time…
I am hoping against hopes the plan does not hit a snag. And also that Rajaram (Jayita’s husband) will join us. We need a good photographer to capture the moments. I do not believe I will get another chance to put the three of us together again!!
15 May
2015
That was a unique Happy Birthday call ! To my mom! No less!!
Like every morning, when I got into my car heading to a meeting, I started making my birthday calls. Usually I finish off Asia and Europe in the morning and the Americas in the evening or during lunch time.
First, I called up home in India. My dad picked up. After talking to him for a few minutes I asked “Is it not mom’s birthday today?”. He was totally flummoxed. “Tor maa-er jonmodin aaj?”. (‘It is your mom’s birthday today?’).
Now, my friends from India can relate to this. There was no real system of birthday records when my parents were born (or for that matter when I was born). Most people would get an official certificate later in their lives (especially when they needed a job 🙂 ) with a convenient birthday for themselves! The concept of celebrating birthdays – at least for my parents – is totally foreign. Last time I had gone home, I had noted down their “official birthday” from their ID cards.
Which is what led to the call today. To get back to my story, when I confirmed that it is indeed my mom’s birthday today, his next question was “Mrityudin eto kaachhe choley esechhe, ekhon jonmodin niye ki hobey”? (‘Now that we are so close to the day we will die, what is the big idea celebrating our birthdays?’). Exasperated, I asked him where mom was.
Next, I called up my sister downstairs – for that is where mom evidently was. Once she gave the phone to my mom, I asked “Aaj tomar jonmodin to?” (‘Today is your birthday, right?’). You could sense the utter confusion in her mind. I could hear her asking my sister “Aajkey amar jonmodin?” (‘Today is my birthday?)’. Of course, my sister’s reaction was – how the heck was she supposed to know? In her defense, she was nowhere near when my mom was born 🙂
With little regard to thanking me for wishing her, my mom’s first reaction was “Aaj ki bishey Josthhi?”. She switched to the Bengali calendar (which is completely different from the Gregorian calendar). Of course, it was my turn to go – how the heck am I supposed to know that? After I pointed out that I got her birthday from her ID card, my mom told me that is her “official birthday”.
“Okay, so what is your real birthday?”, I asked (in Bengali of course). “Bishey Josthhi”, she continued to insist. “I got that part. Which Bengali year?”. More confusion ensued. After a couple of minutes of mutterings, what I could reconstruct is that she was born two years after her elder sister was. And her elder sister was born the year there was a big flood in Kalna!! Go figure!!! At this point, I had no idea whether I was making forward progress or regressing.
Internet had nothing on floods in Kalna during the 40s. Fortunately, there is a site that will change Bengali date to the English calendar. I tried five years on either side of her “official birthday” with that “Bishey Josthhi”. I had one other data point. My grandfather had once told me which day of the week my mom was born in – because it matched the day of the week I was born in and he had told me people that are born on that day of the week have to work very hard in their lives. That datapoint narrowed it down to exactly one year. I had cracked it!!
Of course, I called my mom again. “Which day of the week were you born in?”. I enquired to double check. “Saturday”, she confirmed something I was already aware of. “Well, then hear me out now. Your real birthday is Jun 3rd, 1944”. Do not forget that.
She gave it some consideration and said “Ok. But let’s celebrate May 15 since that is the official date”. And I was like “You are telling that now??????? Could you not have just thanked me when I wished you earlier??????” 🙂
My mom. I tell you. 🙂 🙂
14 May
2015
Remember that lady who let the tip of a dart dictate the course of her life?
Last year this time, if you recollect I had gone to a restaurant with my friend Dan and then made friends with the manager of that place – Yui – who was from Japan and landed up in Kenosha, Wisconsin because of a dart she threw on an US map and that is where it landed. In a final twist to the story, we found out that Dan was actually stationed near the small place she was from back in Japan when he was in the Marines. You can read about it here
In any case, this week, I had a dinner with a Board member and we went to the same place. That gave me a chance to catch up on Yui a year later. Pat (the Board member) was excited about the whole story. So we took a picture of the three of us with the biggest wine bottles we could find around 🙂 (Last year, Dan had taken a picture with a big wine bottle in hand. Do not remember why.)
Anyways, it was good to catch up with somebody who I made friends with on the road. I understand now she is following a modeling career too. Maybe someday I can say I personally know somebody famous 🙂
13 May
2015
Sometimes you have to choose between an old friend and a flight
By the time I walked out of the investment bank after a very successful and exciting – and way over time – meeting analyzing our market and opportunities, I was literally swimming in numbers. I glanced at my watch. I still had time to squeeze in meeting a very old friend of mine before I scrambled to my flight home.
Or that is what I thought. What I had not bargained for is Chicago’s highways becoming a parking lot at 3 PM. Or that my friend and I would be waiting at identically named stores but a full fifteen minutes apart!! (This is what happens when you punch in the cafe name only without the address in Google Maps!!).
At that point, I was getting way too close for my comfort to not head out to the airport. But then again, I had not seen this guy for 26 years!! Last time I saw him was on the corridors of Alakananda – our hostel (dorm) during my Engineering days – back in May 1989!!
I decided that I would risk my flight. Found a bar from Google Maps somewhere between where we were and met up with Ramana Kadari!! I could have picked him from a vast sea of humanity any day. It is like time has wrought no change on his visage. Exactly the same guy – the looks, the temperament, the outlook – everything has remained the same!!
It was fantastic catching up on his fascinating journey of the last 26 years. I absolutely wish I had kept in touch with this guy. I always have a lot to learn from anybody who loses his dad in his ninth grade, grows up in the rural hinterland of India and yet fights his way to some of the top schools in India and now so successful in one of the best countries in the world!!
It was all of 35 minutes of meeting but boy did it feel like we had left each other just the other day. I still remember the day he won the T-shirt caption contest for our hostel (his entry was “Smart Alec” – a pun on our hostel name) and I kept kicking myself for not coming up with it myself!!
As we bade adieu promising not to wait for another 26 years, it slowly dawned on me that I have a flight to catch. I stuck with the back roads instead of the highways, weaved thru traffic like I was driving east west on a north south street, considered speed limits as FYIs only and I am sure the ensuing Doppler effect made some red lights appear green to me. Somehow made it to the rental car center, left the keys without waiting for my bill and ran to the bus. Later, in the bus, I realized that the keys were not the only thing I left in the car.
Skipped checking in my small little overnight bag as I normally do and breezed thru TSA Precheck to reach the gate just in time. And it is then that I realized I had not bargained for another reality in life. Counting on Delta flights being late!!!!
Well, that allowed me to spend a few minutes with another friend of mine I ran into as I was running to the gate, but that is a story for another day!!!
4 May
2015
Sunday evening with “family”
Regardless of all the stress during the week and the hectic activities during the weekend, there is always the one constancy in life to bring some semblance of sanctity – going out with Sharmila to our bar like we have done for years and years every Sunday evening. It does not matter that we show up right around the time Milton’s cuisines is shutting down. There is something about catching up with the staff about their week, their family, life aspirations, as they clean dishes, do inventory, wrap up the kitchen we look forward every week.
They are as close to family as we can ever get!
22 April
2015
This is the kind of people I want to surround myself with…
On this road called life that we are all destined to walk along and cross paths with, we often come across very simple people whose journey on this road absolute inspires us and exalts us to strive to make every bit of that journey as rewarding as is possible. Today was such a day for me.
Second work day of the week. Second city to visit. At the end of all meetings, my friend from work Mark and I took refuge at Miller’s Brewhouse at Milwaukee airport to catch up on emails and phone calls before we called it a day – or in my case, catch a flight back home. With all that back to back emails and phone calls, I had not paid much attention to the young lady Chelsey who was serving us. After I was done with my calls and work, I put my phone down. But Mark was still working. So, I turned around to Chelsey who was nearby and asked her “Tell me your life story”.
Initially she was reluctant insisting it was a little sad. I assured her that I genuinely wanted to listen. And the story that unfolded was an incredible one. I learnt that Chelsey is from Tennessee where she was happily married and soon had a baby – the love of her life. Between her husband and her, they took shifts in work to look after the baby at home. And one day, when she came home, she came home to worst fear any mother in this whole world could ever come to. Her one month old child had died of SIDS. (The child was on his belly and suffocated himself). A little time later, her husband and she grew apart and eventually separated. She was just a couple of years over twenty!!!
Unlike many other weaker earthling – especially at that age – who might turn to other means to escape reality including illegal ones, she resolutely resolved to make something out of herself. She left Tennessee and came to Milwaukee for a “clean start” and follow her dreams to be a vet. She works today not in one job… two jobs…. but three jobs as she takes herself thru a vet school at the same time!!! She is determined to come out with flying colors on the other side.
As I took her permission to feature her in my blog, I asked her if she would take a picture with me. She not only did that but gave me a picture of the locket she was wearing. (See the inset) That is a locket she never separates from. No mother every would. It contains the ashes of her child.
What an inspiring story. How many times a simple thing at home has not worked and we have had bitter reactions? How many times we have been critical of that one well paying job we have – let alone three minimum wage jobs. Amidst all this, how many of us keep telling ourselves – No matter what, I am coming out of this on the other end, way ahead of others? And with a brilliant smile to boot?
If anyone of you ever happen to be in Milwaukee airport, just stroll over to the Miller Brewhouse on the upper floor and ask for Chelsey. And wish her the best of luck. The world has to belong to hard workers like her who is never down on life!
