Remember the story of me getting my eyes checked? Well, I went to pick them up today. And by the way, this is how hideous I look like now.
On my way from the airport, I dropped by the store and asked if I can pick up my glasses even though I do not have the receipt. She said that I do not need any receipt. Now, some of you may know that I run an Identity and Fraud business. Naturally, that instinct kicked in. As she was adjusting the glasses on my nose, I asked her – “Are you not afraid of Fraud? What if somebody else came and picked up my glasses”?
The sharp young Iranian lady born near the Caspian Sea retorted – “And do what? Wear them himself and lose ability to see or search the world for another person who has the same number as your glasses in both eyes”?
Man, she completely nailed me. So, I kind of gave a stupid grin and agreed.
Half way to office from the store, I suddenly realized something and almost turned the car around to fight her back but thought the better of it. “What if he took the glasses out and sold the frames”? is what I wanted to counter her 🙂

Is this where they get the supplies to put out a fire? (Chicago O’Hare Skyclub)

After my previous search, just to see what is the state of human curiosity, I typed in “Why is”. The first two most commonly searched phrases was a little more reassuring. But #5 commonly searched question is “Why is Caillou bald”?? And what is up with all these Stanley Cup questions?

I wanted to find out how old the earth is. I started googling and wrote out “how old is”. The top 10 commonly-searched phrases offered by Google put a dampener on my assumptions of intellectual curiosity of human kind. Come on. Mimi Faust? Stanley Cup? Chief Keef? Hunter Hayes????

It is raining again in Atlanta. I think it is high time that we all changed our names and started build our arks. And if your name is Noah, you may skip straight to the ark-building part 🙂 Personally, I am keeping  a “No vacancy” sign ready to be put up when those two pesky little mosquitoes show up 🙂

Last night, we came back late (by my standards) from a party and as we were all getting ready to go to bed, I overheard my wife telling the kids – “Your dad is going thru a midlife crisis”. I was too tired and sleepy to find out what is going on. I went thru my mental checklist “Did I buy a red BMW? No. Is my beer gut showing? No. Am I chasing miniskirts? No. Okay, no crisis now. We will figure this thing out tomorrow” and went off to sleep even before I hit the bed.

This morning, woke up early before everybody and not wanting to wake anybody up to enquire about last night, I did what all self-respecting people would do. I googled “midlife crisis symptoms” 🙂 (Man, what did we ever do before Google? ) And took an online test – yes, there is one and I am totally jobless – that guaranteed to do a 40-point checklist to find out if I have midlife crisis. (This was like taking my car to the dealer for a 40-point midlife inspection or something) 🙂 (BTW, the website is http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/you-having-midlife-crisis-check-2020597 )

Scored 7/40. It rated me as “You are obviously too young to understand the question”!!

That got me even more worried – if at 47, I am too young, that means I will need more money to live out the longer life. Which means I cannot envisage a time when I will be able to afford to retire – which was exactly what Q18 was – and now I am failing a question I had originally passed. Same with Q23 (Dreaming about quitting work but knowing you’ll never be able to afford to).

I realized that I was starting a slippery slope where the act of interpreting my score was increasing the score itself. I had to stop before I was rated “Calm down you crazy old loon. At this rate you’ll never remember why you went upstairs”. So, I switched off my computer and went back to bed.

Evidently non-midlife crisis people are supposed to wake up late 🙂

Whoever has been praying for rains in Atlanta, may stop now!