3 September 2015

The day after Chris Christie became President

[Yes, this is the third flight of the week and I am bored πŸ™‚ But fresh from the bout of Top Five things that would happen the day after Donald Trump became the President, I figured I should turn my attention to Chris Christie too. Feel free to add to the list of what happened the day after Chris Christie became the President of USA]

Christie lost no time in calling up the Nobel Prize Commitee to find out when would he be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize which, per his understanding, is given to anybody who gets elected to be the US President πŸ™‚ Eventually, a compromise was reached between White House staff and the Powers That Be to enter Chris Christie’s name in the Guinness Book of World Records under the section β€œWhat man made object on Earth is visible from the moon”. πŸ™‚

In his first TV interview after being elected the President, Christie was asked why he believed Americans trusted him to solve the immigration problem more than anybody else. Christie pointed out that most of the illegal immigrants cross into the USA through well concealed tunnels underground. He credited USA citizenry for recognizing his superior level of experience in shutting down tunnels to strand people on either side compared to any other candidate.

In anticipation of a large White House contract (to track illegal immigrants), Fed Ex boosted their total capacity by announcing an imminent deal to buy UPS. The CEO of Fed Ex explained that, in line with the mood of the citizenry, the new company will be called FedUPS. The outgoing UPS CEO, recognizing that FedEx won the war over them, admitted β€œWe never really quite found out what Brown could do for us”.

2 September 2015

After Trump won the Presidential Election

The Top Five likely events to occur the day after Trump wins the Presidential Elections. Please feel free to add your own πŸ™‚

1. Trump tries to pacify Melania who is throwing a hissy fit over having to move to a smaller house πŸ™‚

2. The military scrambling to repaint the plane to name it “Hair Force One” πŸ™‚

3. To fulfill the manifesto promise to shut down the Department of Education, Department of Commerce and another one that he cannot remember either, Trump converts them to Trump casinos πŸ™‚

4. Department of Justice starts drawing up a plan to deport each and every illegal immigrant. Juan by Juan. πŸ™‚

5. In order to hear his acceptance speech that morning, the nation that just elected Trump as President, mistakenly tuned to the TV show “Orange is the new Black”. πŸ™‚

[and remembering one famous line from Jon Stewart… the official handover from Obama to Trump was televised by MSNBC under the headlines “When Barry met Silly” πŸ™‚ ]

10 August 2015

Twenty minutes to count down…

In about twenty minutes, all roads in Fulton county will be declared as parking lots as sleepy kids drag themselves out of their houses with their new shiny backpacks and water bottles… with their parents in tow desperately trying to get them to stop for a minute and put on a fake smile for that all important phone picture to be posted on Facebook entitled “First day in school” !!!

5 August 2015

Did I say I was done with terrible puns for the morning?

One more? Please! Please! Please!

I was driving to the office yesterday from Lexington office on Man O War when I suddenly saw this road sign. Had to turn the car back, come around and pull over to take a picture.

Took me some time to realize why the sign was this way. Because “Grassy Creek is greener on the other side”. Haha πŸ™‚

Okay, now I am done with terrible puns for this morning πŸ™‚

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5 August 2015

Don’t believe the “neigh”sayers

Horses travel much better than we do!!! You have to come to Lexington – one of my most favorite small places in USA – to see a big Boeing converted to essentially a barn!! What is the difference between the first class and coach class, I will never know.
The horses often fly to and from the other end of the world – e.g. Saudi Arabia. This one, I am sure is headed to “Philly” πŸ™‚
You see the extra rudder in the plane? You know why? To keep the plane “stable” πŸ™‚ Evidently, this plane packs a little more “horsepower” than most similar planes πŸ™‚
Ok, enough of terrible puns for one morning πŸ™‚

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