3 September 2015

The day after Chris Christie became President

[Yes, this is the third flight of the week and I am bored 🙂 But fresh from the bout of Top Five things that would happen the day after Donald Trump became the President, I figured I should turn my attention to Chris Christie too. Feel free to add to the list of what happened the day after Chris Christie became the President of USA]

Christie lost no time in calling up the Nobel Prize Commitee to find out when would he be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize which, per his understanding, is given to anybody who gets elected to be the US President 🙂 Eventually, a compromise was reached between White House staff and the Powers That Be to enter Chris Christie’s name in the Guinness Book of World Records under the section “What man made object on Earth is visible from the moon”. 🙂

In his first TV interview after being elected the President, Christie was asked why he believed Americans trusted him to solve the immigration problem more than anybody else. Christie pointed out that most of the illegal immigrants cross into the USA through well concealed tunnels underground. He credited USA citizenry for recognizing his superior level of experience in shutting down tunnels to strand people on either side compared to any other candidate.

In anticipation of a large White House contract (to track illegal immigrants), Fed Ex boosted their total capacity by announcing an imminent deal to buy UPS. The CEO of Fed Ex explained that, in line with the mood of the citizenry, the new company will be called FedUPS. The outgoing UPS CEO, recognizing that FedEx won the war over them, admitted “We never really quite found out what Brown could do for us”.



Posted September 3, 2015 by Rajib Roy in category "Humor

23 COMMENTS :

  2. By Rajib Roy on

    yes, Raghu, I need to do that too. I need her to say or do stupid stuff – like more of the email server stuff. there is so much circus going on the Republican side, there is not enough attention on the Democratic side. I can’t wait for the materials to pour out when Hillary, Sanders and Biden go at each other!!!

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    1. By Raghu Ram on

      I am looking forward to a Biden vs. Trump duke out – would be the mother of all presidential elections…..if it turns out that way!!

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    2. By Jonathan Strommen on

      There’s plenty of stupid stuff from Hillary already. Plastic red button for resetting relationship with Russia? Wiping servers clean “like with a cloth?” Pant suits as mandatory uniforms for all administration officials?

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  3. By Rajib Roy on

    Shoma Is that your way of saying Point 2 and Point 3 was terrible? 🙂 Are you mad? Do I see blood coming out of your eyes? 🙂 I should stop right here 🙂

    Reply ↓
  8. By Alan Chenkin on

    There is no question in my mind that you, Rajib, are seeking a late night talk show gig. Your Top 5 lists, focusing on the most exciting circus, er, important events will be swarmed with anxious fans who don’t have the time to go through a whole “top ten”. My only fear is that you may be over-exposed to Kardashians, Trumps, Mylie Cyrus, and others that may turn you to the Hollywood side..

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  9. By Rajib Roy on

    Alan, the engineer in me always has wanted to meet the person who broke the Internet. Certainly, given my aversion to working, I have had a perennial curiosity towards twerking. Regarding the Trump, what can I say, I am still trying to figure out the trick to follicle enhancement!!! So, I am in!!!

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  10. By Rajib Roy on

    Sonali, me becoming the President would be “unPresidented” since the law does not allow people born in a different country to become the President.

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  12. By Sumit Rao on

    When Christie is President, he will have a big moat around the WhiteHouse. And, the bridges to cross the moat. Bridges, he controls.

    Reply ↓

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