2 March 2018

What has journalism got to do with it?

We, the poor Bengalis, have been denied of a “V” in our scripts. It is usually replaced with a “B”. Much to the chagrin of every non-Bengali! For all of you know, we were destined to be the “Vengalis” till God’s proofreader forgot to put in the letter “V” in our script! Other than that peculiar accent of ours, it can also land us in some very interesting situations – especially in a country like the USA.

For example, I recently overheard an indignant daughter yelling on her phone to her mother – “CVS? Why would you think I have applied for a job to CVS? I am studying Journalism, mother! I have applied to CBS. “C” “B” “S” – the news channel”.

“Oh”!, said the mother as I shimmied away to another room before I could be spotted overhearing the conversation.

I am not suggesting that this happened in our house.

But then again, I am not expressly denying it either 🙂

20 February 2018

The immutable truths of social media

[Yes, this is what I do if it rains when I am supposed to be motorbiking outside 🙂 ]

“Law of first reader advantage” STATES
The reader, upon reading a joke for the first time in his or her life, will immediately conclude that nobody else has ever heard that joke before ever.

“Corollary to the above law” (what is good for the goose is good for the geese) STATES
A reader, upon receiving a joke in one group, will immediately conclude that no other group has ever seen that joke before either.

“Law of overreaction” (Newton was wrong. Reaction is always greater than action) STATES
Upon such conclusion, the reader will venture to remove the world’s ignorance around that joke post haste by posting it to everybody with disproportionate haste.

“Law of false equivalency” STATES
What holds good for jokes holds good for hoaxes too.

“Law of positive correlation” STATES
Everything else remaining the same, more sensational the hoax, more gullible the reader will be. And faster the hoax will be posted to everybody else.

“Law of washing hands” STATES
When pulled up for spreading hoaxes, the reader will simply put a “Forwarded as received” disclaimer. Upon which the “Law of first reader advantage” will kick in.

Care to add some more of yours? 🙂

31 January 2018

Royters News: Catching up on today’s news

Finished up my day and sitting in my bed, tried to catch up on the highlights of the day. The first piece of news that caught my attention was that an Amtrak train full of politicians hit a truck today.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/dr-gridlock/wp/2018/01/31/gop-retreat-train-collides-with-truck-no-serious-injuries-reported/?utm_term=.033783ea5d50

Apparently, one of them was carrying garbage. Decided to dig further to find out which one.

🙂

5 January 2018

Sometimes, I wish I stuck to my core competencies…

One of the things I have made a habit out of after landing in a new country is learn the basics in the local language – you know – “Hello”, “Thank You”, “How are you” etc. If I am there for more than a day, I usually grab a local and learn a little more – like one thru ten, education system, political system and all that.

Bali is a place you always negotiate and haggle. And I like it. This is one of those “predictably irrational” things. I absolute delight in saving 30 cents in a haggle (the full price would be a dollar) but am too lazy to walk out of the hotel for half a kilometer and get my wine for five dollars less. Go figure.

In any case, after one of those temple visits today, the girls decided to buy some local sarongs. Once they had chosen what they wanted, they went away to sit under a tree as I commenced my bargaining.

The problem with my bargaining was that I was trying to beard the lion in its own den. So, I started with my knowledge in Indonesian numerals that I had just learnt the previous day – mpat.. noll.. noll… I started. For the Indonesiany-challenged, let me tell you – a problem with Indonesian currency is that everything is in thousands and millions. The lowest denomination in one thousand. No idea why. But basically, I was “nolling” all the time. (noll being a zero).

The lady was trying her best in her language. Which I did not know. But I knew the numbers. So, I even threatened to go down… “triga, lima, noll, noll…..”.

After a couple of minutes of exasperation, she gave up. Gave me a straight, stern look and said “Four dollars, sir?”.

I was stunned. I was not sure how to react once she had taken the fight to my home turf. Four dollars? Sure? By the way, that was for three sarongs.

The deal was done.

I was very satisfied.

Till now.

I have my calculator with me in my hand. Looks like I paid her more than what she had asked me to begin with!!

Arrgh!!

🙂 🙂

31 December 2017

Hilarious moment with my mother in law…

Here I am sitting at the breakfast table early in the morning trying to get a few of the blogposts away. Sharmila and the kids are sleeping. The in-laws are awake. I just finished serving the first cup of tea and sat down with them…

My mother in law, who has been keenly observing my laptop that I was using to post my blogs suddenly asked…

“Apple-er eto naam aachhey to apple-ta ordhek khaoa keno?
Oboshyo ordhek noy – ekta kamor deoa”

Basically, after watching the logo of Apple, she wants to know if Apple is such a big company, why is their logo half eaten?

🙂