7 September 2014

You can spot a Bengali from as far as you can throw a “rosomalai”

Nothing can shrink my inlaws further in their airplane seats than the prospect of having to talk to the stewards and stewardesses regarding what would they want for their meal. My father in law, at least, puts up a spirited fight. Often, therefore, landing with stuff he had no idea that he had ordered. But he is a good sport – and he will try out a little of everything. My mother in law, on the other hand, pointedly refuses to deal with any of these stewards or stewardesses with anything but head shakes. Which, for any foreigner can be very confusing. Indians are famous for their head shakes. And my mother in law is famous for not getting to eat much in flights. Once in a while, she will recognize something that she knows – e.g. Tea and would order it with great anticipation. And then spit it out after the first sip – because she was expecting tea done exactly the Bengali way. “Era cha-tao bhalo banatey jaanena” (“these folks don’t know how to make a simple cup of tea!”)

A stewardess came and asked them after the meal – “Some digestives?”. Not exactly the way I would have put it, but the packets in her tray clearly showed the picture of aniseed. The next two minutes was a sight. Both of them, totally flabbergasted, looked at the lady, at each other and then across the aisle, towards me. Not in a hurry to finish the fun, I just kept smiling back. Eventually, my father in law said “one” indicating he would try some. And as the lady moved on, I mentioned “Mouri chhilo” (“That was aniseed”) (a very common after meal mouth freshener cum digestive in India). Let me put it this way, my mother in law made me call the lady back so that she could grab a few packets!!!

This being the state of affairs, you can only imagine their reaction when they found out that the last course of meal in their last meal in the last segment of flight (Dubai to Kolkata) was “rosomalai” (a delectable Bengali dessert). The entire inner Bengaliness of their last four month existence outside Bengal was channeled – vigorously, I might add – on that one course!! In the picture, you can see them devouring those hapless plates of rosomalai as if “dhorey praan elo”. Those rosomalais vanished in front of my eyes faster than I could say “Aar ektu mouri neben?” (“Want some more aniseed?”). 🙂

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3 September 2014

Meeting my namesake. Certainly the smarter version!!

In all the weariness of last week’s travels, I forgot to reflect on and tell you folks about meeting a very very old friend of mine. I saw him after thirty years!!!

My namesake – although he spells it “Rajeev” – and I went to school together for our eleventh and twelfth grades (high school junior and senior years). I remember him as an exceptionally bright person. He was very strong in math and statistics. I used to marvel at how he cracked the permutation and combination problems. And another thing I remember him for was his handwriting. He had a great handwriting – very consistent and clean – but the font size was geared towards letting people read from hundred yards or so away 🙂 (We had a great laugh remembering that). And I also remember visiting his parents in Asansol for a few hours. I distinctly remember his mom’s energy level and kindness.

During last week’s “breakfast in DC – lunch in Milwaukee – dinner in Tampa” whirlwind meetings crisscrossing the country, I was able to get my old buddy Rajeev Ranjan Bhattacharya and myself together for an hour or so in DC – where he has moved in a couple of months back. I could have picked him up from a crowd very easily. Nothing has changed in him. He looks exactly the same. He has got all the hair intact on his head. Probably quietened down a little. But still has those insightful comments that I had gotten used to from him thirty years back.

It was great to catch up on his family, his career in Australia and US and some of our old friends. The most sad part was realizing that I will not get a chance to meet his mom again.

I do wish I had a paper and pen with me. I wanted to see if his handwriting has remained the same!!

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29 August 2014

Cheers!!

After a tough week on the road, after I came back today, I got a chance to take my inlaws and Sharmila out. The best news of the day was that my father-in-law, who is a lot more reassured of himself when I am around rather than when he is surrounded by four ladies in the house (his words, not mine :-)) gained enough confidence to give up on his wheelchair and walker and managed to go around with just a walking stick!!

My mother in law was so happy to see this improvement that she finally gave in to my pleadings to have a drink with us. Well, she kind of overachieved by having two drinks!!! Wait till all her relatives back in India hear about this 🙂

You can see my in-laws here going for bottoms up!! By the way, that Gandhian haircut my father in law is sporting now? You can thank yours truly for that. Although, I think Sharmila has thrown my old clippers after that hair cutting episode. I can’t seem to find them anywhere anymore. Not that I have any real use for them myself 🙂

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27 August 2014

For a belt buckle! No less!

It was not exactly the corner corporate office where the CFO and the CEO intensively pore thru the numbers trying to make sense of the business. Still, there was a lot of business numbers to go thru. So Dan and I pulled into a Chilis outside Milwaukee airport (he had driven from Sheboygan and I had driven from Chicago airport) and settled into a quiet corner ready to have our working lunch and thread thru the numbers.

After a perfunctory glance thru the menu, we put in our orders and everything was going as predicted till our young waiter asked us his perfunctory question “Is there anything else I can get you?”. It has become a reflex action for me by now. “Sure, you can get me a million dollars”. I am really glad that I had that reflex action because as the events unfolded in the next few minutes, I got to make friends with a very driven young man who, I, personally have a lot to learn from.

Back to the conversation with Ryan Spindler – which is what we found out his name happened to be.

He: “Do you really think sir, if I had a million dollars, I would be here?”
Me: “Where would you be?”
He: “I would own a business”
Me: “Really? What kind of business?”
He: “I have a few ideas”.

By now, Dan was totally into the conversation. Dan, by the way, is the same gentleman who was with me when I found out the connection between him and the bar lady manager from Japan (of throwing the dart fame) as well as he is the same guy who found his college football teammate during a dinner with me. He, I am sure, thinks I am the craziest guy around. Noticing Dan did not think I was wasting his time, I pressed harder to know Ryan a little more.

Me: ” Tell me, if money was not an issue and you could use the million dollars to do something that you are passionate about, what would you do?”

You know, for a young well built gentleman, I was thinking he would talk about adventures, surfing, traveling and such. Therefore, you can imagine my intrigue when pat came the answer “I would open up a Pizza place”.

I incredulously asked “Pizza place? Why? How did you come up with a Pizza place?” And that is when I learnt a little more history of Ryan. He started is career being a Pizza chef and loved it. Unfortunately the place shut down. And he is making a living waiting on tables but his heart is still in making pizzas.

What absolutely mesmerized Dan and me is the ease with which he handled my business questions – “how would you create a differentiation against a crowded mom and pop pizza shops?”, “how would you allocate your capital?”, “how are you going to source your talent?”. At the end of that, both Dan and I were like – “God! Somebody give him a million dollars”!

We had to get back to work though. I asked Ryan to leave us alone for sometime and make sure he met me one more time before we leave. And that is what he did. When he noticed that we were packing up, he got us the check (actually showed us how to use the self-help ordering and check out system Chilis has now at every table).

I handed him my business card and wrote down my personal contacts. I asked him to keep my contact and reach out if he ever needs help. I promised to see if my network could help him and that he should always feel free to get some unsolicited advise from me 🙂 Then I asked him “So, you seem to be a very driven guy. What is your best achievement till date?”

And that is when I got to know that this young well built gentleman you see in the picture tipped the scales over 380 pounds barely six years back. And he fought his way thru down to 180 pounds. He talked about the various frustrating plateaus he faced and how he had to try very different things every time to keep losing weight! Always curious about factors that drive folks to such great results, I asked him “What got you started?”.

“Oh! many things. Most of them very petty”, he said.

“Tell me one so I can feature it in my blog”, I pleaded.

And that is when I got to know another facet of Ryan. Evidently, he likes Indie and Rock music. And he likes wearing jeans and tucking his shirt in so that the belt buckle would show. He evidently loves large belt buckles!! And one fine day, he realized that his gut was overshadowing his entire belt buckle. And that was when he drew the line!!!

I could only say “Wow!” as I wished him the very best and bade adieu.

So, if any of you happen to be near Milwaukee airport, swing by the Chilis nearby on 27th street (there is only one – next to the Home Depot and I think the town there is called Franklin), to say Hi to this driven young gentleman and wish him all the luck!!

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23 August 2014

Sometimes the simple idea is the best idea

Ever since my inlaws have visited us, I have been always thinking of where else can we take them to visit. You always want to show the best of your country to visitors from other countries. They were awe-struck by Niagara Falls, totally mesmerized by seeing the Atlantic Ocean in Hilton Head and so on. Now that my father-in-law’s movement is highly restricted, I have been at my wit’s end where to take them.

Today, I realized how they are totally happy with the simplest of things and simplest of places. After trying a few parks by the River Chattahoochee and finding them to be too crowded and not enough shade, I just took them to a familiar place of mine. It is actually a pretty nondescript spot – it is by the river alright, and there are a couple of parking spots too. But it is right under the highway 400 and nobody is there other than the occasional runner or canoeist. And that is why I know that place. I have often started my runs from there.

But they thought that was the best place in the whole world. They sat in the shade that the overhead highway gave and gazed into the river on either side for what seemed to me like an endless period (it was a couple of hours) completely oblivious of the cars and trucks roaring by just a few yards above their heads. I caught them often talking to themselves and once in a while to each other. They even compared the sights to some places in India they had visited way way back before they had any kids.

I just watched them and took as many pictures as I could. My favorite is the black and white on the right top corner.

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23 August 2014

Nikispeak – Shakespearian dilemma

The morning, Niki was in our master bathroom getting decked up by Sharmila for her Indian dance performance slated for later in the morning. I happened to swing by to go to the closet and on my way jumped on to the weighing scales to check my weight. As I got off the scales and proceeded towards the closet, the following conversation ensued…

Niki: “So what did the scales say?”

Me: “164.2 pounds”

Niki: “Is that good or bad?”

Me (in an attempt to brush her off): “There is nothing good or bad. Only thinking makes it so”.

Niki (promptly): “Got it. You just don’t want to admit that it is bad”  🙂

After I had my laugh, I asked her seriously “Do you know who said those words – there is nothing good or bad m’lord… only thinking makes it so?”

Niki: “Albert Einstein?”

Me: “Get out! Somebody much earlier than that”

Niki: “Jesus?”

Me (barely suppressing my laughter): “No. Later”

Niki: “American Indians?”

Me: “Where are you coming up with these guesses from? His first name was William and he was born in England”

Niki: “I know. Prince William!”

Finally, I gave up and said “No. It was William Shakespeare”.

“Totally uninteresting dude”, she retorted!!

21 August 2014

Sometimes I have “intersection points”. Sometimes I just enable them.

My current executive team is in Atlanta for our monthly meetings. We pick one of our offices nationwide and rotate our meetings in those cities. One of our common practices is for the local executive to arrange for a networking meeting when we are done with our office stuff.

This time, it was my turn. So, I invited the executive team from my previous job (which was in Atlanta) to join my current team for a dinner. As always, we had a great time. It is simply magical to watch a great talented team meet another great talented team.

The highlight of the evening was as I introduced one of my current team members – Dan – to one of my previous team members – John – they immediately recognized each other from a previous life. Apparently, they played football together for their college (Univ of Wisconsin, Whitewater, I believe).

Who knew that after playing for the same team more than a quarter century back, they would accidentally find themselves in the same place at the same time – connected by a common executive separated by two companies?

I have to admit that it was great watching them catch up on their common friends, families and the time ever since they met last.

Awesome!!

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16 August 2014

The difficult, we do today. The impossible, will take a little more time.

It was Friday evening. Designated day to go out for a drink with my FIL. There was one problem though. He was barely five days and change into his surgery to fix his broken hip. In those five days, he had already gotten himself to got up and walk with a walker. A walker is not ideal for long distances. No problem. A few Google searches and phone calls later, I was back home with a rented wheelchair.

Over all protestations of my mother in law, very soon, Sharmila and myself were at our favorite Indian bar with the inlaws. We sat outside and had a delightful time. Presently Amitesh, Anusuya, Mrinalda and Seemitadi joined us to make it a perfect octet.

After a wonderful evening together, we came back home. Then I asked my FIL – “Dekhun, gelen boley koto bhalo laaglo” (See, it was a good thing you went. You had such a great time). He had a memorable response. “Bhalo laga? Amar to mon kharap hoye gelo seshe. Eder moton bhaari shundor shundor lok desh-e giye kothay paabo?” (Had a great time? I am feeling really sad now. Where am I going to get such wonderful people – referring to our guests for the evening – when I go back home?)

Like his guests, I am amazed that barely five days after a hip surgery he is out and about and sipping wine with the rest of us sitting outside a bar….

Seems like he truly lives up to what my good friend Larry Mason had advised me once – “The difficult, we do today. The impossible, will take a little more time”!

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11 August 2014

And that wonderful thing called Love.

For about two days, my mother in law has been a mere spectator as events overtook her. Her husband fell down, broke his hip, got operated on, recovered and came back home. All she did was rely on us to give updates (in fact, she did not even realize about the surgery till it was done).

You could see that she felt helpless to help her husband, but she knew that he was being helped by people who could help him better than her. So, she would try to be helpful to them, if she could. Even when we came home, my father in law did not retire with her in their room; instead came out and drank with me. Finally, he was tired enough that he agreed to use the walker to shuffle to his bedroom and sleep.

My mother in law first made sure that I finished my lunch (Sharmila was out doing all the weekday stuff you do with the kids) and then quietly retired to her room. Of course, her next love is Zee Bangla – or whatever popular Bengali TV shows are on – on any steaming website.

I was trying to spend time to myself and then when I had to go inside the house to refill my drink, I went to check on my father in law. And I glimpsed this picture from a distance on their headboard mirror. My father in law – sound asleep. And my mother in law close to him as if protecting him from everybody else in this foreign country while watching her favorite Indian channel on her iPad resting against my father in law.

Realizing the essential privacy of the moment, I anyways went ahead and captured it on my phone. And waited to get a minute with my mother in law later and asked if it was okay for me to make the picture public. Else, I was going to delete it. She was a little amused by my question. She was like “Why would I want privacy if I kept the door open?”. And I was like “I don’t know. This country is all about privacy … Or something like that “.

In any case, that was an intense moment of togetherness, I thought. She finally got him to herself after his terrible fall. And she did not want to disturb him. Just be with him without anybody else… I retraced my path quietly and sat down with my next drink..

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11 August 2014

The epitome of zest for life that is my father in law…

He completed 50 yards – that is the distance from our barbecue to his bedroom in 40 hours!!! Of course that route took a detour through the emergency room and the operating theater in our nearest hospital!!!

So, this is how the story has unfolded so far. The pictures go row by row chronologically…

On Saturday, at about 8PM, my father in law went to the barbecue to get some corn done. He saw a King snake inside, tried to back out and in the process tripped over his own shoe. Fell down and just could not move. A few minutes later, the fire engine and ambulance showed up. The first picture shows the EMS folks putting him in the ambulance.

The second picture shows him in the Emergency room. Went thru all sorts of CAT scans and XRays and by 10PM, it was concluded that he did not hit his head but he did break his hip. He took the news stoically and asked that my mother in law be not told of this till they had finished operating on him.

The nurse came and said “Your dad is very strong. For a guy who has broken a hip, he sustained the pain of turning to take a X-Ray better than anybody I have seen in my life”. I merely pointed out that he really is not my dad, instead, my father in law.

The next picture shows him waiting to go into the Operating Room at 8 AM next morning. That was the couple of hours I did not get to see him. The next time I saw him, which is the next picture, is when he was back in the hospital room, resting.

As the next picture shows, he had regained consciousness by 12 noon and was already eating food and eager to get back on his feet. The doctor admired his mental strength but asked him to take it easy for a day. Well, he did get a physiotherapist come and see him who was willing to let him try standing up – which he did and then he shuffled his legs to move forward too. The physiotherapist later told me that he had never seen anybody bounce back this quickly after a hip surgery at the age of 80!

Totally pleased with himself, he started reading local newspapers as you see in the next picture and asked me not to stay in the hospital that night. The next morning, early as a lark, I showed up with his Indian tea that Sharmila had made for him and the first thing he wanted to know was when could he try walking!!!

As the next couple of pictures show, within 24 hours of a hip surgery, he convinced the hospital staff to let him walk with a walker and also climb up the stairs today. The lady helping him climb up the stairs, simply told me “I am glad. But he scares me!!”

The next picture shows him at about 10AM, he is all dressed up and ready to go home. The surgeon came and plainly confided, “I can’t believe I am doing this … but your father in law is good to go home”. The hospitalitist (yes, there is such a person), concurred.

I am going to spare you all the details of struggling to walk or get up in a car with one hip bone surgically operated upon and inserted with a titanium rod a six inch screw a few hours back,… but let me tell you, once he came home, he certainly did not shuffle to his bed. He dragged himself straight to the kitchen porch (see last picture), sat down with his walker and walking cane on his side, took one sip of the ice wine he loves, grinned from ear to ear and said “We have to find out how the snake got into the barbecue in the first place”.

And as I clinked my glass of Meiomi Pinot Noir against his glass of ice wine, I could not help realize the difference between my dad who has lost total zest for life and my father in law – a clear five years elder, 80 year old – who picked up his life exactly where he left it 40 hours and a broken hip bone before.

There is little doubt that I will fall down in my life many many times like he has…. That is not the point…. The point is….

I just want to get up like he did….

Every….Single….Time…

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