14 November 2021

This is why I do not like going to grocery stores

The place is filled with illogical things. Plus I have this penchant for spotting everything under the sky other than the one thing I went there for.

All I needed was some juice. I kept spinning around the place looking intently, but unsuccessfully, for it. After a tip from a fellow shopper that there are two different locations for fruit juices (one for refrigerated and the other not so), I finally drifted in the right direction.

Except that I stopped cold on my way and strode back a few steps to confirm that I saw what I thought I saw. Now, you can see for yourself.

You cannot put Rogaine under “Shaving Needs”. Rogaine does not participate in any part of the shaving process. In fact, it does quite the opposite of the general concept of shaving. Which customer seeking Rogaine makes a beeline for the “Shaving Needs” section?

For a fleeting moment, it occurred to me that I should mention it to the girl at the check out counter. Then, thought the better of it since the lady who had given me the tip was standing right behind me in the queue at the counter. I did not want her to publicly point out that I did not where the juice was either!!

And that is how I survived this morning’s grocery shopping.

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21 October 2021

I do not want to look like I just wrestled down a tiger

Me: “Sharmila, I need a new pair of jeans”
She: “Why? What happened to your minimalism?”
Me: “I am worried of something worse.”
She: “What are you talking about?”
Me: “I am afraid people will think I am becoming fashion conscious.”
She: “WHAT???”

So, I showed her the pair of jeans I was wearing.

Me: “I think people will think I am wearing ripped jeans. I don’t think they will know that a decade old pair of jeans starts springing holes.”

The worst part is that the other pair of jeans I have is also disintegrating. I am totally pointing the finger of suspicion to my laundry guy.

She: “Do you know your size?”
Me (confidently): “Yes, large.”
After she had stopped laughing inconsolably, she blurted out “That is your shirt size!”
Me: “Oh!”

Apparently, there are 2 numbers that define a pair of jeans that I should know.

This is too complicated, man. Does anybody know if ripped jeans are going out of fashion soon? I really want to wear my current pairs and look out of fashion at the same time.