You think we were having too much fun?

You can also think of this as my revenge for all the puzzles he used to ask me when I was a kid and not tell me the answer for days hoping I will figure it out by myself.

A little over two years back my dad had a stroke and got paralyzed on his right side. Most of his brain got fried too. Ever since, thru some strong will and help from my mom and siblings, he has gotten enough of the right side back that he can get up from bed and walk a few steps to the bathroom. He has also some cognitive power of the brain back but only some. And his memory is fairly spotty. I am no doctor but I think the parts that were most affected were the hippocampus and the frontal cortex part of the brain.

Since I had nothing better to do, I figured I would try to get a feel for what kind of cognitive power and memory he has gotten back and what he has lost. So, I tried formulating all sort of picture questions, rearranging letters, sequencing problems and asked him to solve them. He was totally into the game. Sometimes he would get them easily. Sometimes he would take the paper in his hand, close his eyes and think deeply as if to will those neurons and dendrons into proper places…

He got most of the numerical sequencing right – going up and down – skipping in 2s, 3s, 5s etc. But he has lost all idea about what happens if you go below zero. The concept of negative numbers has been erased. In fact, curiously enough, after counting down and reaching 0, he looped back to 10 !

Also, I realized that he can easily process words if I arranged them in a circle but only if I put them in a clockwise fashion. If I switched up even two letters or arranged the word in a counterclockwise fashion, he just could not see the word. Then I realized that it was not just words. I wrote the letters a,b and c in a circle and asked him to write down the permutations. As you can see in one of those sheets, he nailed each and every of the clockwise permutations. The anti-clockwise? Not at all. Even after I gave him the first and the second answer, he could not see the third answer. After he realized he missed half of them, all he said was “Jah! Fail hoye gelam” (“Oh! I failed the test”).

Then I gave him a few picture problems (you know like directions of arrows and all that). Drew a complete blank!!

Also, he could not relate to numbers in the real life. For example, he could not see anything wrong with the fact he is 81 and that his guess of my age (he guessed 20) is highly unlikely.

It was fascinating to see how some parts of his brain has rewired itself and others have not. (forget these, two years back he did not know who I was and thought my mom was his mom). I am going to try again next quarter and see if the brain is still healing itself.

BTW, the most difficult part of this exercise was for me to come up with the questions. This, from a guy who allegedly works in an K-12 assessment company!

This trip was a total hushed hushed one. Nobody in India was aware. My sister went out of town for a day with her family (completely oblivious of the fact that I was landing up on “Bhaiphonta” day!!). She will be arriving this morning in a couple of hours to get the surprise of her life!!

Meanwhile, last evening, it was just the three of us. After a long time, it was just the three of us in the evening. First I took care of the important stuff – walked up to the street corner “phoochkawala” and had my share of “phoochkas”. For the uninitiated, that is stomach infection in a package form eaten as one of the tastiest Indian savories ever!

Then I went ahead and got a small vodka bottle. Got a second one too just in case my dad wanted to try it. Fortunately he didi not. He was just happy that I was drinking fruit juice in the evening. (Yes, he thought I was drinking fruit juice from a small bottle. That be my dad. )

The evening was one long tapestry of discussions of our life events from the time he lost his dad at the age of two and a half and then lost two other siblings quickly to this day where the three of us were sitting down – temporarily missing my two siblings.

I can’t remember everything (you will be surprised how much punch they pack in a 6 ounce vodka bottle in this little town) but we talked about the “easy chair”(kind of a cross between a chaise and a hammock) we had back in the seventies and how we used to count stars in the sky sitting in it outside our house. We talked about the time my brother was born (who, in keeping with family tradition, we almost lost very early on due to health complications). We talked about the time when my dad used to visit his mother every month (we lived about 60 miles away – but those days, it would take him about five hours to reach her in a remote village). On that last note – I do not believe the apple fell too far from the tree.

When we finally wrapped up – partly because he was tired and partly because my vodka bottle was running dry – I knew the discussions were a great success. You know why?

For a guy who complains half a dozen times daily “Bhogoban je kobey release certificate ta soi korbey” (“I wonder when is God going to sign my release certificate” – implying he is happy to move on from this world) – for that guy, he got up from the chair, stood for a second standing there and then finally turned to mom and asked “Naati naatni gulo manush hobey dekhey jetey paarbo?”. (He asked my mom if she thought he will live to see his grandkids establish themselves in their lives).

And I was like “Yesss!! I know how you can live longer. Want some fruit juice?” 🙂

Dad and I kept strolling thru the streets. We hit the common spots he and his friends used to sit down at when he could still walk around by himself. Except that no one was there in those street corners. Finally, after about 30 minutes of walking we found a park and some of his old friends there. He got a run down of the old group. Apparently, many of his friends are no more and these three that still have locomotory skills have moved to this spot which is more convenient for them. You can see my dad holding court from his wheel chair.

Now he has his head shaved every week too!!

He is too weak to go out by himself. And my mom does not step out of home. So, he waits for my quarterly trips to go out for a stroll on the street and hope for a chance to meet some of his old friends.