29 March 2022

My first Kurdish friend!

The vans picked us up from our hotel to take us to the winery an hour away where we were going to have our Corporate offsite. Anand, our local executive in Portland, had taken care of all the logistics.

I got to sit in the front next to the driver. The team knows I suffer from car sickness among other things – like fear of heights, fear of closed places and sometimes, sheer lunacy. Maybe I enjoy the last bit rather than suffer from it.

In any case, I sit next to the driver. A complete stranger. But then again, as Kelly had once described me “You know no stranger”

“What is your name?”, I asked the young, rather comely looking driver.
“Abraham”, replied the soft spoken gentleman without talking his eyes off the road.
“So, have you lived all your life in Portland?”
“No, sir! For fifteen years.”
“Where were you before this?”
“Kurdistan”
“Wait, what??”
“You know Kurdistan?”
“Of course, I know Kurdistan. I love your music.”
“Really?”, he asked looking at me, for the first time taking his eyes off the road for a split second.
“Wait. How is your name Abraham? Are you not a Muslim?”
“Yes. But there are a lot of Jewish people in Kurdistan.”
“I did not know that. Are you Jewish?”
“No. My mother’s best friend was. And when I was born, she had asked if my mom would name me Abraham (a Jewish name). And that was how I got my name.”
“Fascinating!”

“But you said you love our music.”
“Yes, my favorite song from your place is Kamarey Kamarey. I have heard the one by the Rashtak group. Do you know that song?”

For the second time, he took his eyes off the road.
“You know Kamarey Kamarey?”
“Well, I know the tune. But I do not know the meaning.”
“Wow! I have never met anybody in this country who knows our country songs. How do you know songs from our country?”

I explained to him that when I had first learnt that the gypsies in Romania actually originated from Rajasthan, India, I had looked up their migration path. And studied what effect it had to the local music. As nomads, you do not show your culture thru paintings and artisanship. You will have too many things to carry a\round. So, music was the way. That time, I had listened to a lot of songs from places like Kurdistan, Azerbaijan etc.

I told him that in India, “Kamarey” can roughly mean a room or the waist in different languages. What was it in Kurdish? I learnt that the song lyrics were referring to the waist!! What a connection!

I got to know that my young friend Abraham went from Kurdistan to Turkey and then eventually left Turkey for the USA. I also found out that he knew Farsi.

Sticking to the theme of music, I asked him –
“You know Farsi? Here is another song you might know. Have you heard…” and then in my terrible Farsi pronunciation, I went on to sing “Man Ahmad-e Aam”.

He immediately took his eyes off the road and stared at me. “Oi, oi”?

“Oi,oi”, I confirmed.
We both knew the song!! But neither could remember the singer. We could describe how she looked but for the life of us, we could not remember her name.

By this time, we had reached our destination. Abraham and I took a picture together, became Facebook friends and parted.

That night, I had a FB message from him… “Googoosh, Mr. Roy”

Googoosh it was!! I suddenly remembered the Iranian singer’s name!!

I can’t wait to meet Abraham the next time I am in Portlandia!!

26 March 2022

A determined lady!

I cannot remember when I was introduced to Snowy – maybe 3 years back – but I remember I was introduced by her sister Ariel who used to work in the same hospice that I volunteered in at that time. Snowy was looking for a mentor and asked me if I would spend some time with her. (I know, I know, young people can have very low standards 🙂 ).

Over the last couple of years, we have talked about various topics – about her studies (she went back to college to study Accounting), her job, interviews, navigating company politics etc etc. But I never got a chance to sit with her face to face.

Today, over coffee, I got to know her a little more. What had struck me when I first talked to her was her unusual level of determination and the willingness to work hard for it. Today, she took me thru her family history and that made her determination even more impressive.

I have no doubt in my mind that Snowy is going to make a great professional of herself some day!

21 March 2022

The other Chakraborty-Dutta duo

Last week I met Baisakhi and her son – Utsab (alias Kintu) in Durgapur. Missed Sagar since he was in Kolkata for some work. While I almost always meet them in their house, about six years back, I had the chance to meet all of them in the USA. They were visiting Sagar’s brother in Minnesota and I had shown up! Actually to keep a promise to Utsab.

I did not get a chance that day to meet Sagar’s brother Suban (alias Kuntal) but I did meet his sister in law – Tumpa. Ever since, I have kept up with them (Tumpa and Kuntal – and by the way – no surprises on the usual FB friendship, birthday calls etc). They eventually moved to Orlando.

And I was in Orlando for a conference. You can do the math now. Fortunately, this time, I did get to meet Kuntal and we had a good “adda”. The highlight was to meet their dogs before we said good bye!

I also realized something else – both the brothers married a Dutta girl. Baisakhi’s maiden name was Dutta – just like Tumpa’s! Much like my brother and I – both of us married a “Ghose” girl. In our case, my sister married a “Ghose” boy too!!

14 March 2022

Meeting Mrs. Roy!!

This was back in 2017. In fact, April 11th to be precise. I had caught up with Debasis and his wife Joyoti in Kalyani. Got an opportunity to meet Debasis’s parents too. Joyoti had mentioned about how she spent every weekend with her mom in Kolkata – who was ailing. I had promised to visit her mom sometime.

Five years later, I was finally able to meet the lovely lady. Parkinson’s is slowly consuming her. Her speech has become so soft that it was difficult to hear her clearly. But her spirits were very high. And that smile!! That beatific smile never left her face. To the extent we could have a conversation, it was such an enjoyable time for me. As I sat down next to her in her bed, I had flashbacks of the patients in the hospices I go to. It has to be soul crushing to not be able to express oneself completely. Against that background, the upbeat nature of Mrs. Roy gave me such a heart warming feeling.

I let her know after some time that I was going to join the rest of the gang in the living area.

“Jaabar aagey ekbaar dekha korey jeo”. She asked me to see her one more time before I left. That at least assured me that she enjoyed our conversation too.

You can also see the rest of the gang in the picture. For some reason, Rabindranath Tagore, unlike others, could not focus on the camera!!

14 March 2022

Cross section of intersection points!!

Sitting down at the breakfast table, I measured up the young gentleman and the lady at the next table. From her accent, she seemed to be visiting India – although she definitely looked Indian. He seemed to be of Caucasian descent. They could not be more than in their mid-twenties, by my reckoning.

He was mostly quiet. She was talking about how she liked Indian food – like mysore dosa and all that. I was enjoying how much she was enjoying Indian food. Then slowly, their conversation became white noise for me as I focused on my “panta bhat”!! (See the story here) But somewhere in their conversation, I heard “Chicago” being mentioned.

Later, during a lull in their conversation, I could not help but butt in…

“I heard you guys mention Chicago. Are you visiting from there?
“No, we went to college in Chicago”
“Ah! UC?”
“Yes, sir! But now we live in San Francisco”
“Got it. Working there, I presume?”
She nodded. “Paypal”
“By the way, I work in Chicago. Near Schaumburg.” I let them know.

“And where do you work? Also, I did not get your name,” I asked turning to the gentleman.
“I am Joe. I work in a small healthcare startup.”
“What kind of startup? Analytics?”
“Yes”
“Pharma side?”
“No, mental health”
“What is the name of your company?”
“Modern Health!”
“Really? Wait…”, saying so, I fished out my phone and went to my office emails.
“You mean – this company?” I asked him showing him an email.

Guess the surprise and excitement on his face! Turns out we (as a company) are their customers!! That got Joe talking. I learnt from him about the size of the company and how they have had tremendous growth ever since they started in 2019.

“By the way, where are you from?”

“Virginia”
“Where in Virginia?”
“Virginia Beach.”
“Ah! You know the Sheraton on the beach? That is one of the favorite properties of my wife!”

“How about you?”, I asked the young lady now.
“Oh! I was born and brought up in Delhi. I went to UC for studies”
“Got it. And what brings you to Kolkata then?”
“Oh! we are getting married!”
“Ah! Congratulations!!”

Just at that point of time, an elderly lady came in and started talking to her. I figured she was somebody from the marriage party. The lady looked around – there were no empty tables. She finally signaled with her finger to the empty chair at my table. I immediately offered her the use of the chair.

Instead of pulling the chair out and moving to the other table, she just sat there and started talking to the young lady. Our tables were very close to each other. So much so that the table numbers were 41 and 41A. They were so close, they did not even deserve independent numbers.

I was not bothered by this at all but the young lady suddenly screamed “Ma, onno loker table-e boso na”. (Mom, do not sit at other guest’s tables). Now this surprised me no end. Because she spoke in clear Bengali.

I addressed her directly. “Let her feel comfortable here. I am totally cool. But how do you know Bengali?”
“Oh! I am a Bengali.”
“Really?” I suddenly realized I never got her name…
“What is your name?”
“Sagarika”
“Oh! that is as Bengali as it gets!”
“Sagarika Dasgupta”
“Okay. Now you are in Bengali overdrive!!!”

Of course, by now I realized that the elderly lady was her mom. So, I chatted her up for the next 10 minutes giving her all the respect an elderly lady deserves. Learnt that their family was originally from Sylhet and then moved to Silchar pre-independence.

She was even kind enough to take a picture of the three of us!!

She, being a mom, asked after my kids. I told her about my two daughters – 24 and 18 year olds.

“24? Where is she?”, asked Sagarika.
“Oh! Natasha lives in New York. She went to NYU and graduated in 2020 amidst Covid”
“So, did we!!”

I then realized that this young couple were of the same batch as Natasha (different colleges).
Simple math would suggest that this so called “elderly lady” is probably then of my age or younger.

I politely excused myself before I put my foot any further in my mouth!!

That said, I hope to see the young couple the next time I am in San Fran for a Board meeting!

13 March 2022

At my in laws place

My brother in law had rearranged his previously scheduled trip to Durgapur to coincide with that of mine. We could not remember when was the last time we met in his house!! Probably 10-12 years back. It used to be that I used to come to his house every day. We would do Fortran coding together – of all things!!

I still see my mother in law fairly often (three times in the last twelve months). Her health is starting to get more frail but her spirits are sky high. Is it just me or does it look like she is more happy to be in a picture with me than with her own son? 🙂

13 March 2022

The old order has been restored!

You might remember from my old posts that a trip to Durgapur is never really quite complete till I have met Utsab. For the last two years, I had to suspend it unfortunately, due to Covid reasons. We restarted the practice again today.

Like old times, both he and I had to fend off his mom’s (my friend from yesteryears – Baisakhi) complaining about Utsab not studying and then we went off to more interesting topics – like Utsab’s fascination and vast knowledge about cars!

In the meantime, Utsab has grown by nearly six inches and towers over me now!! And he is thin as a rail – just like I used to be at his age!!

13 March 2022

Finally I caught up to him

I had tried multiple times to meet this gentleman – who was my classmate in middle school – without any success. In fact, we used to use the same school bus. This time though, I was more successful!

I last saw Soumitra in 1983. That is a good four decades back. He left for Kolkata St. Xavier’s and I left for Narendrapur RKM. And that was that. Till today.

His face has remained pretty much like I remember him from those days – full of the innocent boy vibes. We talked about the slightly greenish grey shorts he used to wear to school (most of us wore slate grey). I remembered the one time I had gone to meet him and he was not there. I met his mom and had chatted with her till he came back home. We lost her about two decades back but I was able to surprise him by describing in fair amount of detail how his mom looked. I wish I had gotten a chance to see her one more time.

It was great to catch up with this really good soul after so many years! Hopefully I will see him a few more times…