So here we were – Sunjay Talele and myself walking down the street from one meeting to another in downtown San Francisco… and then we come across this 24 hour fitness place with glass panels. And inside were a gazillion women doing what I can only guess what Zumba looks like. As we were marveling at those womenfolk dancing at lunch hour, we noticed that the Zumba teacher was a very ebullient man!! From first looks we would not have blamed you for thinking that he might have borrowed the clothes he was wearing from one of his students 🙂 Only in San Francisco!!!

Couple of days back, I called up my mom – like I do every single morning. The mood at home – specially mom and my sister – was despondent, to say the least. My mom jumped straight from “How are you?” to lamenting that my niece lost one mark (got 99 out of 100) in her Computer test by messing up one question.

I know how hyper-competitive India is at school level – but I still tried to reason with my mom. I asked her how come nobody is celebrating the 99 questions my niece did get right. Why all the overwhelming attention to one single question she missed?

Trying to use reason with my mom in this context is like trying to explain calculus to a new born. When I pointed out that she is only 10 and that she can’t possibly know everything that is required of her, my mom’s response was – “So what? Which 10 year old does not know that the national game of India is football (soccer as we call here) and not cricket”. Then she commented on the effect of TV and constant cricket and how that is corrupting students.

But something else struck me. I asked her if it was a Computer test, why were they asking about national game of India? What had that got to do with Computers? My mom summarily dismissed this line of questioning and said for Computer Programming, you have to answer all these questions. I think, she forgets at times that I did Computer Science from IIT. 🙂 She also said that if I had the attitude that I have now when I was studying, I would have never made anything out of my life 🙂 By this time, my sister also came onboard and started talking about why these are standard questions for all Computer tests.

So, finally, I pulled up my last trump card. I asked them why did they feel that the niece should have written football (soccer) instead of cricket. I gently pointed them to the fact that (field) hockey has been the national game for India for a very long time.

Now that did trigger some memory cells in their minds. For the next three minutes I held the phone to my ear on this side and on the other side I could hear all sorts of discussions going on as confusion reigned supreme 🙂 Finally, my mom ended the call abruptly saying “We’ll talk later”. I am sure they were looking up all sorts of reference books 🙂

I did get a call from my niece that evening suggesting I am the best person in the whole wide world 🙂 🙂 Ah! All’s well that ends well 🙂

Feb 14th is Valentine’s day. No doubt you know that. But if you are not from India, you may not know that Nov 14th is celebrated as Children’s Day in India. This is to celebrate India’s first prime minister Nehru’s birthday who was a great friend of children.
The discerning amongst you no doubt have realized that there is exactly 9 months between Valentine’s Day and Children’s Day in India! 🙂

I actually saw this on Facebook a few days back… I cannot locate it anymore (one of those friend-likes-funny-group posts). So I recreated the cartoon myself – but the credit goes to somebody else who I do not know!

That said, here is to all my Detroit friends!!!

“Today Russia announced plans to send a probe to the moon by the year 2015. Russian scientists say they’re excited to see what they could discover on the moon’s surface. I’ll tell you what they’re going to discover – an American flag!” –Craig Ferguson

Now this is a glass half full 🙂

A few more details are trickling in… (you have to read the previous post to get the context).

After finishing up my office work, I called India back to get more details of the incident. Funnily enough, nobody admitted that they were the first to suggest it might be a bomb. When I talked to my dad upstairs, he said it was my sister’s idea. When I talked to my sister downstairs, she suggested it was the niece who got afraid it might be a bomb!!! My mom claims that right from the beginning, she had a hunch that it might be a nice package from me! And of course, the niece claims she knew all along it had to be books!!! 🙂

Everybody seemed to remember that all the neighbors agreed that those burglars whose attempt to rob was thwarted a few days back must have been so enraged that they sent a bomb!!

An outstanding moment occurred  when the neighbors came. Picture this – there is a small brown packet in the middle of the parking lot in the ground floor. And a bunch of neighbors and my parents, sister et al. are circling it from a safe distance completely confused what to make of it. At that time of “You first” mentality, one brave gentleman stepped forward a little and was able to decipher some letters on the package from that distance. Petrified, he yelled “It says, HANDLE WITH CARE”. Everybody simultaneously jumped back three feet and a half convinced that their worst fears had come true!!! For, as you undoubtedly know, terrorists always take care to warn you to handle with care 🙂 🙂

At the end, I asked them – So, all of you and your neighbors and the police were at the police station with the package? And who was going to fend off the burglars that had attempted a robbery a few days back if they came during that time?

There was pin drop silence on the other side. I kept the phone down 🙂

This is too crazy for me to make it up! Early morning as I was catching up on my office work at a Starbucks, I get two repeated calls from my sister in India. I braced my mind for potential bad news (dad is not doing well) and then called back.

All I could hear is a ton load of commotion and cacophony on the other side. But it was my dad who talked! And his first sentence was “We are at the police station”. I was somewhat relieved but irritated since I know there was an attempted robbery in their complex a week back and I realized what might have happened.

I will try my best to carry the import of what my dad explained in Bengali. Evidently, they received a packet today which they were not expecting. Their first reaction was that could be a bomb! As my dad explained – “This is happening lately, people are opening up packets and whole buildings are being blown up” 🙂 Anyways, not knowing any better, they gathered all the neighbors around. Who were of course, epitomes of courage!! Most would not even come near my parents!!! And then somebody suggested that they should go to the police station.

Now get this. My sister, put the package in her car and drove to the police station!! She CARRIED the suspected bomb package herself with my parents in the car! Instead of calling the police over.

The police station was even more scared. The head there declared that they needed the bomb squad. Evidently there is somebody who masquerades as a bomb squad in that tiny little town of Kalyani. He came, looked at it and said that it did not look like a typical bomb. But was unwilling to open it.

In the meanwhile, my sister notified my brother in Kolkata who had the presence of mind to ask if there is a label on the packet. She said – it is from DHL but is missing the sender’s name but said Flipkart was the pickup point. (Flipkart is like Amazon in India). My brother immediately noted that no terrorist is going to send a bomb package thru DHL and anyways DHL will inspect all packages submitted. And certainly they wont be shopping in Flipkart for bombs. They should go ahead and open up the package.

My parents recognized this as solid logic – for whatever reason the police did not. Anyways, they opened up the package in the station and out came 7 Enid Blyton books!

And that is what I got for trying to spring a surprise on my niece!!

Somewhere, I also realized that all that cacophony was everybody in our house and neighbors along with the cops laughing their heads off at the police station and sipping tea 🙂

(sequel to the story here)

I bet this has never happened to you. Sharmila asked me to pick up the laundry on my way back. I, of course, dutifully did it. Or rather, attempted to. I showed up at the laundry place and the lady gave me a puzzled look for some time and then blurted out “But your wife already picked up the laundry five days back”!!! So, I just bought some gin and vodka from the shop next door 🙂

Tables turned on me. Usually it is the family who drops me at the airport. Today I dropped them on their way to Dallas. Can’t remember when was the last time the three girls flew by themselves without me. The last 30 minutes were hilarious. I kept on giving instructions to Sharmila Roy how to get the boarding pass, where the luggage drop is, when to board the plane and she kept reminding me how to operate the dishwasher, how long to microwave the food and such 🙂 — at Atlanta Hartfield airport.