30 October 2017

These goodbyes are not getting any easier….

Every three months for the last five years, we have gone thru the same routine. He would have sadness writ all over his face but mom would still brave a smile as they waved me good bye from the gate downstairs and I headed out to the airport to my family in Atlanta. As routine as it was, it never ceased to give me a lump in my throat. My brother (always the chauffeur) would keep quiet for 10 minutes and give me the space to get used to the moment.

Then my dad lost ability to move much. But he would come downstairs and sit in a chair way ahead of time and wait for me so as to not lose a chance to wave me goodbye. I would again choke up.

Next, he stopped coming down. (The last trip was that way to) He would simply lie in his bed and nod his head. Holding back tears was incredibly tough. I knew he wanted to come down but physically he could not. I used to squeeze his hand just to let him know that I understood.

Now, we are in the phase, where he has no idea that I already left. He got up for ten minutes in the morning, spoke to me incoherently and then went back to sleep. I took a lot of pictures of him. All of them look exactly the same. At the back of my mind, I am aware that this might well be the last time and I wanted to capture ever micro second if I could. Even if they are repeats.

First time ever, my mom is not smiling as she bade adieu all by herself.

A new era is dawning upon us…

Posted October 30, 2017 by Rajib Roy in category "Family in India", "Vacations


  1. By Sudipta Chattaraj on

    Monta bharakranto hoy Rajib Tor ei dharaner write-up porle.amar ma o Alzheimer’e bhugche.tobu roj ma ke pranam karar samay mathai hath rakhe……really old order changeth…..

    1. By Rajib Roy on

      Sudipta, I have been wanting to come see your mom and Gautam’s dad for some time. But my last few trips to Durgapur have been restricted to a few hours (no overnight stay). Let’s see if I can come and see her this December/January. Poornima was her name, right? My mom could not say enough good things about her

    2. By Sudipta Chattaraj on

      They worked in the same school for at least 26—27 yrs.few days ago on the occasion of Durgaastami we met Sunanda masi..she also came to our swami Vivekananda Vani prachar samity.

  2. By Sima Chakrabarti on

    Rajib tomar moner abostha bujhte pari. Eto dur theke jotota parcho kore jaccho bhaba jaina .Amazing. This is life. Mone sokto rakho. Dure thakar ei kosto sobai amra nie cholechi.Very hard time. God bless them

  3. By Arijit Maiti on

    I sometimes wish technology/science has some solution to this. But these are beyond AI. This is a unique scenario where each and every NRI individual shares same pain.

  4. By Vicky Ruffin Cupit on

    Okay – teary eyed… my heart goes out to you….God’s Speed on your way back to your family in America… leaving your home on the other side of the world has got to be so hard… both ways…take care…they are in my prayers too…

  5. By Piyali Chatterjee on

    Rajib, life is cruel at times….ki korbi bol…you have done and still doing your best from them….they just want you to be happy …so keep smiling

  6. By Indu Godura on

    Your account leaves me with a lump in the throat………life brings you to such cross roads at times.Helplessly we pray…..God give you n your family all the strength you need……

  7. By Sumona Banik on

    Rajib, I had tears in my eyes reading your post. I know what you are going through. Stay strong. What you are doing for them is amazing.

  8. By Jyotiswar Mookherjee on

    I lost my father in front of me. He had a massive heart attack and no symptoms seen before.He died within 15 mins but l could do nothing but to see his pain. I immediately took him to the hospital but all in vain

  9. By Debasis Das on

    Rajib, I’ll stop reading your posts as those bring tears to my eyes. It reminds me how I faced the similar situation for both of my parents who are no more to say me good bye.

  10. By Kishore Chowdhury on

    Rajib I can realise your feeling as I had already gone through this phase of life
    May the Almighty give courage to face the situation. My sincere prayers for them.

  11. By Suman Saha on

    I understand what you are going thorugh Rajiv! I went through the same emotions everytime I left them behind…and then it happened. When I visited my parents during 2016 Durga Puja, somethign told me that Lost my mother this Sept

  12. By Suman Saha on

    …so as I was saying, something told me that this is the last puja I am spending with her, and then she left me forever in Sep. Still trying to cope….

  13. By Christine MacKay on

    parents are so special and these times so poignant, the feelings so sharp and painful and yet there is beauty in the blessing of having these times, these memories. Love always remains


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