13 August 2020

It is probably coming down to the short strokes now

The good news is that he was recovering from the smaller stroke fairly fast. However, the problem in breathing has lingered on. And in fact getting worse.

This is not COVID. He was always a COPD patient. I am sure decades of smoking unfiltered Charminars somewhere caught up with him. Last ten days, mom has been increasing the nebulizer frequency steadily to help in his breathing. From once in two days to once a day to twice a day to eventually thrice a day.

Unfortunately, this is not improving the situation much. However, taking him to a hospital is not an option. He will surely catch an irrecoverable infection.

This morning, things have reached what looks like the onset of a point of no return. He just cannot breathe much. Has been getting up and lying down constantly in bed.

One of the greatest blessings I have is that my sister lives downstairs from him and my brother is a couple of hours drive away. My sister and brother in law have arranged for an oxygen cylinder at home (which during these days of ventilator shortages is a feat unto itself).

Mom is reporting that he is being too restless and taking off all the attachments from his face. From other behavioral descriptions (again forgetting names), he might be having a series of very small (ischemic?) strokes.

It will be a miracle and I will be very surprised if he can pull thru this one.

13 August 2020

A man is known by the company he keeps

I am not terribly sure how I manage to get into these situations – certainly level of IQ does not explain it – but recently I found myself in a great discussion on COVID and COVID expansion with a few luminaries. It was hosted by University of Virginia professor Dr. Madhav Marathe (under normal circumstances, I would kick that Dr. part – since he and I were college mates in Computer Science in IIT-M). The other luminary was Kiran Vaya – retired telecom executive from Motorola.

And then there was myself, trying to figure out how to spell “C-O-V-I-D”.

I have to say, I am amazed by how Madhav and Kiran were quickly able to draw the parallels between the spread of the virus and how cell packets are distributed thru the cellphone network. For whatever I remembered of Computer Science, that made amazing sense to me.

But what blew me away was Madhav (or should I say Dr. Marathe)’s explanation of why academia holds back from forecasting often. It is what he referred to as variables that are “endogenous” to the system.

If you did not get it in the first blush, count me in.

Here he what he explained lucidly to the audience…

Think of weather forecasting versus pandemic forecasting. Regardless of what the meteorologist forecasts, the weather is going to turn out exactly to be the same.

Not so for pandemic. The forecast of an outcome will change the behavior of the public – which will change the outcome itself!! That is a fascinating feedback-cycle!!

How do you forecast?

One thing I have learnt about great education. It is all about asking the right questions. Not necessarily having all the right answers.

Thank you Madhav and Kiran, I think I left the forum with a lot more questions than I had answers.

And that is the way it should be.

11 August 2020

A great mind on some really young shoulders

“Wait, how did you get so much mental strength to withstand all this?”
“I do not know. I was determined not to follow in my parents’ path.”
“That takes some real determination.”

I was so engrossed in the conversation that I had completely forgotten to make up my mind what to have for lunch when Brelyn (Howard) came to check on us.

Let’s back up a little.

John and I was up to our usual Sunday thing – ride our motorbikes to some small town in Georgia, have lunch there, meet some local people and come back home. The town of choice this Sunday was Ellijay which is fairly popular with tourists nestled in the mountains of North Georgia.

We parked our cars and spotted a restaurant – “Emily’s Bar and Restaurant” on the other side of the road. There was a table open in the front patio. We agreed to settle down there. (BTW, if any of you go there – they have a lot of outside patio tables in the back – which I found out later).

That is when Brelyn came to help us out. John and I chatted her up asking her a few questions about the local area.

“Are you from this area?”, I asked
“Yes”
“Do your parents live here?”
“Well, my parents are not your run of the mill parents. They are drug addicts. My mom is in jail and my dad is on the run.”

Well, I was not sure what to say next. Brelyn, as I found out later, had just finished high school and apparently that was her parental background.

“Wait, so who is taking care of you? Meaning…” (I suddenly realized that as a 18/19-year old, she is an adult)
“Well, I stay with my grandparents.”
“So, they have taken care of you?”
“Yes. They are the loveliest people. Specially my grandma.”

“Do you have brothers and sisters?”
“Five sisters. Actually three step sisters. My grandparents are raising my younger sister too.”
“They sound like amazing human beings. Are they from your father’s side or mother’s side?”
“Mom’s side.”

“I have to ask you a question. With that background, you do realize that your life could have turned out very different, right?”
“Yes, sir. I am aware.”
“The peer pressure… the temptations at high school… those are difficult things for a young adult like you.”
“Yes”
“So, then how did you get keep yourself on the straight and the narrow?”
“I have seen my parents. I was determined what not to be.”

For a moment, as John asked her something, my mind floated back to my own daughters. I hope some day all kids like them will grow up to realize how lucky and blessed they have been. I shuddered to even think of a hypothetical situation of something like that befalling my own daughters.

As I snapped back to the present moment, I got Brelyn’s attention again…

“You know, Brelyn, for a kid your age – allow me to call you a kid – I have two daughters – one a couple of years younger to you and another a couple of years older…”
“I certainly think of myself as a kid.”
“… for a kid of your age, as I was saying… you have an incredibly strong mind. I think, at the end of the day, that is what will make the biggest difference in your life.”

“Have you thought of going to college?”
“Yes. Right now I am working in the mornings to earn money.”
“What would you like to be when you grow up?”
“I have a couple of ideas…”
“You know what? That is the best thing. Don’t make up your mind yet. Keep it open – try out new things and then settle down on what you want to do the rest of your life”.

“Before we leave, can I take a picture with you – would love to post your story on my blog.”

“Sure thing. Send it to me on Facebook. I will read it up.”

Riding back the lonely backroads of Georgia, I got yet another understanding of what privilege means and how I still have so much to learn from folks that are one-third my age!!!

If any of you make it to Ellijay, try out Emily’s (great food and nice presentation – that will take you by surprise) and if you are there for lunch – make sure you say Hi to Brelyn (she pronounces her name like the cheese).

9 August 2020

Motorbike ride to Ellijay

It was a roundtrip of 125 miles thru backroads and rural roads in North Georgia with John Moore. It was a rather hot day but Ellijay was in its charming best. I highly recommend Emily’s Bar and Restaurant. Great food (and great presentation – something you won’t expect in small towns) and a lot of space to sit outside in covered areas.

John, of course, was as funny as ever. But the best part was our discussions around cultures in America, Europe, India and Kenya. (His wife is from Kenya and he has a great understanding of a lot of the ethos and ethics there – that most tourists won’t get). One very interesting turn of discussion was the role of economic progression in the decline of certain kind of cultural behaviors – e.g. respect for the elders (or even elderly parents).

John is a great guy to hang around with. Riding bikes to do the hanging around is an even better icing on the cake!!