She decided she did not like the new bar we had built about three years back. So, now we have a even newer one. The good news is now I have a fully built in coffee making and tea making set up!! Now I can drink wine to go to sleep and drink coffee to wake up from the same spot!!
That said, it does look like she and Adnan have done a great job with this.
Remember how I always talk about me trying to stay honest with minimalism and decluttering? Of course, everything is on a relative scale. Recently, I have noticed a bit of hypocrisy in that espousal that I do.
I am taking out fountain pens from this discussion since I do not collect them with an excuse to use them. I collect them so that I can collect them. But other such things like running shoes matching with colored running shirts and all that – I have been able to bring them down dramatically. In fact, when it comes to clothes, I take my minimalism bit a little too over the edge, perhaps.
Except that when it comes to island shirts made of cotton, I absolutely turn into an epitome of hypocrisy. I cannot pass up on any design and I cannot pass up on any color. Remember last year when I was in Guatemala how I took a car from Antigua to Lake Atitlan and then took a boat to one of the seven villages where they make cotton shirts? Once I liked a design, I bought seven of them! My only constraining factor was that they did not have more than seven colors! The next bigger constraining factor was getting XL size (cotton shrink and I like loose fit; Guatemalan structures are short and stout relatively). It did not help that they asked for only about $15 per shirt (that too before applying volume discount!)
Or in Valladolid in Mexico – where we drove 200kms from Cancun to find the black and white cotton shorts? I think it was $20 there.
Well, In Fiji and Samoa, I fell for the same thing. In the Caribbean islands, they do not make much cotton shirts. But in the Polynesian islands, they do. Sharmila was patient enough to let me visit the cotton shirt shops every single day of our trip! If I had a chance, I would have picked about a dozen in-your-face bright colored “Bula” shirts from Fiji.
After 7 days, I finally settled for reasonably muted designs. But could not resist picking half a dozen of them. There the problem was that they had way too many designs I loved but not many in XL sizes. The Samoan and Fijian physical structures meant I could get even 5XL easily. But for a particular XL shirt, I had to wait for them to get it delivered from another part of the country! Good news is that the country can be traversed in about three hours by car.
Taking them out of the suitcase in Atlanta, I realize this is total madness.
I have met my kryptonite.
(P.S. I did give up 6 existing shirts to charity to make space for this. Now I might have to wait for summer to go to office 🙂 )
Keeping up with my tradition of starting the year by “wishing you enough”. A message worth repeating every year. As a person who arguably spends more time in airports than home and as somebody who spends time in hospices with folks who regularly say their “forever goodbyes”, the story and the moral of the story rings very true to me.
Even if you have read it last year, it is a great read again. Also acknowledging Larry Mason who had originally wished me enough…
“I wish you enough!”
By Bob Perks
———————–
I never really thought that I’d spend as much time in airports as I do. I don’t know why. I always wanted to be famous and that would mean lots of travel. But I’m not famous, yet I do see more than my share of airports.
I love them and I hate them. I love them because of the people I get to watch. But they are also the same reason why I hate airports. It all comes down to “hello” and “goodbye.”I must have mentioned this a few times while writing my stories for you.
I have great difficulties with saying goodbye. Even as I write this I am experiencing that pounding sensation in my heart. If I am watching such a scene in a movie I am affected so much that I need to sit up and take a few deep breaths. So when faced with a challenge in my life I have been known to go to our local airport and watch people say goodbye. I figure nothing that is happening to me at the time could be as bad as having to say goodbye.
Watching people cling to each other, crying, and holding each other in that last embrace makes me appreciate what I have even more. Seeing them finally pull apart, extending their arms until the tips of their fingers are the last to let go, is an image that stays forefront in my mind throughout the day.
On one of my recent business trips, when I arrived at the counter to check in, the woman said, “How are you today?” I replied, “I am missing my wife already and I haven’t even said goodbye.”
She then looked at my ticket and began to ask, “How long will you…Oh, my God. You will only be gone three days!” We all laughed. My problem was I still had to say goodbye.
But I learn from goodbye moments, too.
Recently I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and he said, “I love you. I wish you enough.” She in turn said, “Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy.”
They kissed and she left. He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, “Did you ever say goodbye to someone knowing it would be forever?”
“Yes, I have,” I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me.
So I knew what this man was experiencing.
“Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever goodbye?” I asked.
“I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, the next trip back would be for my funeral,” he said.
“When you were saying goodbye I heard you say, “I wish you enough.” May I ask what that means?”
He began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.” He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more.” When we said ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them,” he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.
“I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough “Hello’s” to get you through the final “Goodbye.”
He then began to sob and walked away.
—
My friends, for 2025, I wish you enough!
My general physician calls me a “super compliant” patient. And it is true that I follow all medical instructions to a T.
There was a controversy around how long I was supposed to stay silent after my recent throat surgery. The discharge documents said “till post op checkup”. That would be two weeks. Doctor Law had suggested 5 days when we were going thru the pre-op checklist.
I stuck with the longer duration. And that surprised Doctor Law. After putting the probe thru my nose he turned the camera on and both of us could see that outgrowth was gone. He was very pleased with how the whole area has healed.
“So, you did not talk for 2 weeks?”, he asked.
I nodded.
“Well, you can see the effect of it. The area is healed better than we see with other patients. You are 80% there and with therapy you will be 100% there.”
“When you talk, follow Bryan’s (the speech therapist) instructions. Like no more than 10 minutes per hour for the next week. And I will see you in 3 months. I expect nobody will even realize you went thru a surgery.”
“So, now that you will be talking again, what are the first words that will come out?”
I thought for a while and asked with a very crackled voice “Can you prescribe two more weeks of silence?”
That had him laughing heartily.
“Really? You liked it?”
“Well, I started learning ASL. I am sure my friends found me less obnoxious. And I got a lot of hall passes to stay away from house chores. What is there not to like?”
“Naah… I think you should start talking.”
Got myself an appropriate T-shirt though, just to be safe!
The publisher should be taken to task for really atrocious editing. There are words that are unfinished, random letters showing up all over and even paragraphs and pages being repeated. This was very hard to read.
I had bought this book to read the essay “The Gospel of Wealth” by none other than the industrialist Andrew Carnegie who had become the richest person in the world. Not to suggest that I have a problem of wealth that he did, but I am getting more and more curious about how to dispose of a couple of dollars I might have left when I die. A friend from Scotland had mentioned that my philosophies of money matches his and that I should read it. (I did not know Carnegie was Scottish, so my friend might have had a vested interest here 🙂 )
Once I got past the editor’s obvious sleeping at the desk, I absolutely loved the messages Carnegie has.
On making money
First, he establishes that capitalism is the right thing. Socialism cannot work in the long term. He believes there is nothing wrong with only some people making a lot of money thru the dint of their hard work and talent. As long as done ethically and with integrity. The society and community should be structured to let the hard working and talented make a lot of money.
Second, he is dead against being rich thru inheritance. Wealth has to be made by yourself thru hard work, he says. And on this, he feels people born poor have slight advantage that they are likely to strive harder than those who already have money. More on inheritance later.
Third, he is dead against wealthy people showing off or living lavish lives. To him, there are two phases of life – you work hard to make money and then you find the best way to dispose of it. It is not about consuming it yourself in excess.
So, how do you dispose of it?
This is where he believes that with great wealth comes great responsibility. He describes somebody who dies with a lot of money in the bank as “The man who dies thus rich dies disgraced”.
How not to dispose of money
First, he is against indiscriminate charity. To him that is thoughtless and taking the easy way out. He believes the wealthy man has far greater responsibility than throw away money to charity. Also, he is severe in his criticism of how much money given to charity actually reaches the folks for who the charity is raised.
Second, he does not believe too much money should be given to children. Just enough so that they may not come to terrible days. He suggests “moderate sources of income” for the wife and daughters and “very moderate, if any, moderate allowances” for the sons. (Of course, this is set in a society where women had a different place than modern America).
For this reason, he favored heavy taxation on inheritance. To him, the “State (needs to) mark its condemnation of the selfish millionaire’s unworthy life”.
How to dispose of money
To Carnegie, one needs to make the wealth work for greater good of the community. The person needs to take active interest in the utilization of that wealth. It should be a cause for the society or community for a greater good. Above all, it has to be something the person feels passionate about. If one has no particular passion about a greater good for the community, Carnegie considers them selfish for benefitting from the community but having no interest in the community’s good.
His suggestion is to create a trust fund. And then he gives some ideas he personally has. But he leaves it to the individual’s judgment and passion. His suggestions, in order of his personal interests are
(*) University or any institution of education or knowledge
(*) Library
(*) Hospitals (or medical colleges, labs and institutions involved in alleviation of human suffering)
(*) Public Parks
(*) Halls/Galleries for music and art
(*) Swimming baths!! (this was interesting. It seems in England those days, this was common – not so in America). I guess, this would be what we call community swimming pools today
(*) Churches
In summary, in his own words…
“To set an example of modest, unostentatious living, shunning display or extravagance; to prove moderately for the legitimate wants of those dependent upon him; and, after doing so, to consider all surplus revenues which come to him simply as trust funds, which he is called upon to administer, and strictly bound as a matter of duty to administer in the manner which, in his judgment, is best calculated to produce the most beneficial results for the community.”
Now, this book has a few other essays if you want. I was intrigued by his take on “Capital versus Labor” (which is going to be anathema to most all Private Equity firms). He is of the opinion Capital and Labor are not against each other and that the permanent relationship between those two have not been set yet. He is an ardent believer of labor unions and explains why this is a good thing.
There are other essays like “Americanism versus Imperialism” and “Democracy in Europe” if you are interested.
