10 July 2023

Change of pace!

After having more than my generous share of meeting relatives, decided to change up and visit an old teacher of mine. He taught me math – but he is also my friend Mousumi’s father. So, I alternate between addressing him as “Sir” and “Kaku” (Uncle).

I had visited him a couple of times in Durgapur in 2015 and 2019. He had moved to Kolkata a few weeks after I had visited him last. This was the first meeting in Kolkata.

We started discussing the concept of Time – as viewed by the Theory of Relativity (which I think I understand somewhat ) and that as viewed by Quantum Theory (which I am having great difficulty comprehending). But we could not finish the discussions since I was running out of time. (more people to meet).

I did get a call from him the next day suggesting we should continue with our discussions. I might have to do the next bout over Zoom!!

Always great to see folks like Dr. and Mrs. Roychowdhury – the likes of who have made me whoever it is that I am today. I feel immensely indebted to such souls!

7 July 2023

Mr. and Mrs. Sampath!!

Back in 1986, one May morning I woke up in Durgapur with a tremendous sense of getting bored and that I was really whiling away my time. It had been a week already that I was back from college for summer vacation. Not knowing anything better, I took a train to Kolkata and walked up to a friend’s dad who had opened a computer company. I figured he would give me a job. Which he did.

For a princely sum of Rs 500 per month (about $6), I started my first job at a company called Artintel. My job was to learn Cobol and start programming in it. Which kept me very happy. I had something to do at least. Every Monday morning I would go to Kolkata and come back Friday evening.

During the weekdays, after work, I had again pretty much nothing to do. That is when I used to often take refuge in my friend – Ranga’s house! Ranga’s family had just moved from Delhi to Kolkata for his dad’s job. I used to simply show up at their place.

There are a lot of memories from those days. First, although they had arrived, their stuff had not!! In fact Indian Railways could not trace the “container” for a long time. I think it took over a month for the stuff find its way back. Mr. and Mrs. Sampath would cook food in some basic kitchen ware for us and that would taste heavenly to me. (I have had a weakness for South Indian food all my life). Uncle and Aunt were gracious enough to even insist that I stay back with them. We would simply sleep on some sheets on the floor! After a bout of playing cards. Those were some real fun times!!

The second thing I remember was Uncle’s incredible mastery of the Bengali language. He is, of course, a Tamizhian. But he would speak Bengali without a shred of an accent. He would pun and play with Bengali words effortlessly. Best part – he would do Bengali crosswords!! That is after he had finished the English crossword from the Telegraph every morning over a cup of South Indian coffee!! Sometimes, Ranga and I would join in with him too!

That summer’s kindness and grace they showed had made a deep impact with me and I never forgot the memories I had with them. For the longest time, I wanted to meet them one more time just to say thank you. However, they had moved back to Chennai and my trips to India were razor focused on my parents.

Now that the situation has changed, I took the first chance to fly into Chennai on my trip to India.

I cannot possibly describe in words how much fun I had with Uncle and Aunt again. We talked so much about those days that Aunt finally concluded – “This felt like one of those days in Dover Lane!” What I had not realized as well is that she has taken over the mantle of crosswords from Uncle these days. And she has extended it to sudoku now!!

It felt real blissful to see them in such great spirits (Uncle donned a special Indonesian batik shirt for us!!) and even better health. I wish Ranga was here too. In one of the pictures you will see a picture of uncle and aunt with Ranga and Meera (his sister) from those days.

But the story would not be complete if I did not talk about Shridhar! He was kind enough to pick me up from the hotel and drop me at the airport. Got a chance to get some great perspective from him about some of the NGOs he works with and his perspective overall of Indian affairs. I had met Shridhar for a brief moment in May 1989 when he was visiting Ranga!

You will see his wife Geetha and daughter Vasudha in today’s picture too. Now look at Ranga’s sister Meera in the original picture. Do you see the similarity?

Thank you Sampath family for your incredible grace and kindness that summer of 1986 and on this day too!

5 July 2023

Another throwback to the past!

Now next to the vinyl record player, I have an old style radio. Or as we called in India – “transistor”!! Sharmila and I have already looked up the timings of our favorite radio programs.

For example, after Saturday morning Farmers Market shopping for vegetables, next up in the Roy residence? “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me!”

2 July 2023

It is his way or the highway

Jay Jay has an incredible way of figuring out whether he will go out for a walk. If I come downstairs in my house clothes, he would not even budge from his bed. But if he sees me wearing outside clothes, he will promptly jump down the stairs waiting for me to take him out.

Today, both Sharmila and I got dressed up to go to downtown. Our friend was already waiting at the door looking outside impatiently. I stepped out and he followed suit. But moment we got to the street, he remembered that Sharmila had dressed up too. Just sat their looking at our door waiting for Sharmila to come out.

I even let go of his leash and pretended to walk away. When I looked back, he was still waiting there for Sharmila to come out. And when she came out, he ran to me as fast as he could dragging his leash and occasionally looking back to see if she was following.

2 July 2023

Great evening with Adam

We talked for a couple of hours but I forgot to ask Adam how we had met first. I believe it was in the coffee shop of Ballground, GA. We have met there a few times but we have ridden together only once.

I was aware of his terrific skill in building motorbikes. Some of the ones he built were incredibly beautiful. But, yesterday, I got to know a lot more about him. I had no idea about the adversities he had faced – starting from a bad car accident leading to back surgery which led to dependency on opiods from pain. And that was just the starting of the downhill journey…

It was an amazing story of life that went really really south. This involves multiple felony charges, probation officer, being homeless and penniless, carrying clothes in a trash bag always … not to speak of being spurned away by friends and loved ones…

And an equally inspiring story of how he finally managed to break thru all barriers and pull himself up together. It has been a long journey but he made it.

He is a happy man today – great job, makes extra money from his hobby of building motorbikes, a steady girlfriend, a solid roof over this head… I was so thrilled to be there at the Cigar Bar to hear his whole life story.

A few things I learnt from his story:

(*) Unless you make up your mind to change, nobody else can do that for you. The pain you have to fight (he equated the feeling to like being under water and having run out of air… ) can only come from you wanting to do it.

(*) It is never a monotonically going down or up in life. Even as your life goes down, it takes a few bright turns. And then when it finally pulls itself up, it still throws some curve balls.

(*) There are always a few people – almost always strangers – who step out of their way to help you. Such is humanity.

Now I need some lessons in how to build motorbikes from him!

I also want to put in a word for No Longer Bound – a faith based, residential long-term help to wean people away from addiction that Adam credits immensely for his turnaround!