9 October 2013

Reconnecting!!!

Business trips to Dallas always means opportunities to quickly reconnect.
Ran (barely managed to keep up is a better way of putting it) 5 miles with Subrata. I had met him way back in 2001 – and they promptly left for China! (Yeah! I kind of have that effect on people πŸ™‚ ) Our original connection was that my sister and his wife were elementary school classmates.
Next time I met him was in 2010 – Jan 1st when a bunch of us Bengalis went out for a run in Dallas to welcome the New Year.
Today, after the run, we sat down at the Starbucks to get to know each other a little more. Like me, he was born in a very small village! Unlike me, his rest of his growing up was in the same village. (That village got electricity after he moved to US).
Now get this. There is another small village nearby from there. Both our sisters are married to two guys from that other small village!! Same age group! We are trying to find out if they knew each other!! His brother-in-law’s dad was the headmaster of the school that my brother-in-law went to!!!
Go figure!!
Remember my point about intersection points!!! πŸ™‚

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3 October 2013

Remembering a certain David Yankey….

… a week after I heard the “news”

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

Poet: Mary Elizabeth Frye (1905-2004)

28 September 2013

Chance Meeting…

Beautiful day in Atlanta. The sun and the clouds are constantly playing peek-a-boo with each other and a light breeze is blowing. Dropped the daughter at Chattahoochee High School for a debate program and went for a run. 5K into the run, I had a vague recollection that there was this guy that I have talked to a few times after moving to ATL but never met – who I thought had told me he lived near that High school.
Fished out the phone, got his contacts from old phone records and called him. Guess what? Six years after moving to Atlanta, we saw each other for the first time and ran another 5K. Grabbed our Starbucks – which was overcrowded outside since it is a gorgeous day – and sat on the sidewalk under a tree and chatted just like we would have back in India.
Found out we have many many connections from my last three jobs. Best part – we graduated in the same year from two different colleges literally across from each other in Chennai. For all you know we had tea together in those tea stalls between the campuses. Maybe this was not the first time we had coffee sitting on the sidewalk under the trees!!!
28 September 2013

Fascinating Evening

One of the better evenings I have had. After a week of some good and bad news in professional life, had a nice cool down time with some personal friends and my wife at a local bar. After a really great time with some hearty laughter, everybody left – including my wife – for various Indian parties they had to go to. And I decided to hang around by myself and nurse my gin and tonic as I collected my thoughts for the week. I still had to fully accept my friend’s sudden bereavement.
Barely had my friends left, a couple came and sat beside me. Not to be conspicuous, I moved my barstool a little to give them some space. But in that “Thank you” … “No problem”… we got embroiled into a much much longer discussion. At some point I was feeling bad and apologized for imposing myself on their private evening. They insisted they were having a great time and wanted to talk more.
Fascinating discussions.
Found out Blaine used to work where I work today, nearly twenty years back!! He told me about my current company stories that were simply mind blowing. Found out that one of the pre-sales guys in my group started as a security guy at the front gate of our office and during night shift, he used to be bored and read up our system manuals! That is how he switched to technology!!!
I noted his lack of hair on head and commended him on his hairstyle and loudly wondered why I might like it πŸ™‚ Well, I found out it is from chemotherapy πŸ™ Blaine is a cancer survivor. Not once, not twice, thrice!!
Incredulous, I asked him “You have beaten back death thrice? I know nobody else like you. What is your epiphany moment?”. He told me that he wanted to get over his fears. So he skydived! I am like “You skydived to get over your fear of skydiving”? Oh! no! He not only got over his fear, he actually learned to love it. Has skydived for over 90 times. Does it every other week or so. Even Kim mentioned that she has skydived with him. (BTW, his suggestion for best skydive? Dubai SkyDive). I promised him to put it on my bucket list.
By this time, I had ordered some food. And I asked it to be with without cheese. Kim asked me if I was allergic to milk products. I mentioned that I was just watching my saturated fat and cholesterol. That led to a long discussion including how very few of us realize that our liver produces way more cholesterol (which actually is required by our body) than we ingest. And that a lot of this is about DNA. Speaking of DNA, she showed both her hands and pointed to her middle fingers – both were bent on the end. Evidently, everybody in her family has that!!
I noticed something else on her fingers, and asked why was the ring on the wrong hand. She let me know that they are not married. Have dated and lived together for 18 years. Never married though. Obviously, I had to ask why. “Because we don’t want to take each other for granted”. I was literally staring at them trying to grasp what they said. (also remembering that I had told my beautiful wife of 20 years that I would join her 30 minutes back πŸ™‚ )
Eventually, I had to leave. I told them that they were the most unique couple I have ever met and after exchanging contacts wished each other that we have more “intersection points”!!
27 September 2013

David Yankey. You can’t leave now. The meeting is not over.

It finally hit me like a ton of bricks this morning. As I drove away after dropping my daughter at school and headed to office.
He is not going to be there. I will not see him. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. Howmuchever I loiter around his cubicle.
I was able to block away the thought of he having died the whole of yesterday. I kept reminding myself about how I walked up to his cubicle to wish him a happy birthday just a few weeks back.
Staring at the road waiting at the traffic light with dawn barely breaking, I realized that his wife will soon be on the road like me – dropping their kid or grocery shopping – and realizing that he will not be home when she went back. Not that day. Not the next day. Not ever.
Remembering how my daughter told me “I will see you in the evening” before she trotted off to school, I realized there is not going be any such evening for his three kids. Not tonight. Not tomorrow night. Not ever.
It is the finality of death that quashes all hopes of being ever together – even for a fleeting moment. And it is that snatching away of any hope of being together that I cannot ever deal with.
I am the guy who is still looking for his friends who crossed his path 40 years back.
He crossed my path barely a few days back.
If only – if only – I was given one more “intersection point”, this is what I would say-
“Teach me how to be humble like you, teach me how to always smile like you, teach me how to be a great father like you”.
God, I miss you, David Yankey.

12 September 2013

Intersection point. Revisited!

The nagging sense of a missed opportunity to smile at a kid was powerful enough that I went back to the same running route this morning. Figured I might be able to see the kid on his way to school – if that is where he was heading the previous day.
On my way forward, I did not see him.
On my way back, I went past the school again and still did not see him.
Just as I was going to turn into the road back to Starbucks, I spotted him at a distance – with his mom. This time I was determined.
Changed my route, ran towards them and then slowed down. Smiling ear to ear, I took my cap off and told the kid that the previous day he had waved at me. I felt very special and that nobody usually does that. (Completely skipped the smiling part πŸ™‚ ). He gave that same awesome smile and looked up to his mom.
His mom and I exchanged pleasantries (he is a kindergartner and goes to the school that I ran past). Then we fist bumped each other (I mean the kid and I – not his mom and I :-)) and proceeded on our own “lines”.
Now that is an intersection point I can live with!!!

10 September 2013

Smiling back…

One of those signature moments that makes every day such a beautiful day. Early morning during my 5 mile run on Alpharetta sidewalks, climbing up a small hill, I saw a very young kid – the boy could not have been more than four years old – holding his mom’s hand and walking along. Most likely to the Kids and Kids half a mile down the road.
As I approached them, I was trying to be mindful not to startle them from behind. The kid (who by the way, had his head clean shaven like me) heard me, looked back and his eyes were fixated on my bright neon orange shoes πŸ™‚ And just as I passed him, he looked up to me and gave me one of those beatific smile only blissful kids unmindful of their parents’ “Stranger Danger” advise can give. And then wrested his hand out of his mom’s clutch and waved at me.
That was a very powerful moment.
By this time, I was just passing him. I raised my hand and waved back. He could not see me – but I smiled back to him too.
For the rest of the run, I mentally kicked myself for not turning back and showing the kid that I was smiling too. I guess I did not want to be weird to the lady. Or maybe I was too much into the running and missed the enormity of the moment. Regardless, the kid deserved better from an adult.
And that was my lesson for the day – in runs, as in life, we start from different points and end at different points. The line between those points – or the speed at which we traverse the line – does not define us. What defines us are the intersection points with others’ lines. For, it is in those intersection points that life offers us the opportunities to acknowledge each other’s journey, celebrate each other’s presence and make a difference to each other’s lines.
And that journey is what it is all about.
That is why we live. That is why we run.