7 September 2016

Challenge Rejected!

Okay, that was the fourth challenge in as many days days from my FB friends. If I get the general drift, I am being challenged to put up a happy picture of Sharmila and myself  (good luck finding it) for ten successive days (haha! lots more good luck finding them) and then everyday I am to challenge another friend to do the same.

I have certainly no issue on what you want to do with your FB timeline – entirely your choice to post and my choice to ignore them. That being said, my first thought was – What??? What  kind of a challenge is this? Mind you – this is not a request. This is not a suggestion. This is a CHALLENGE to prove my love and happy marriage!!! How many wives do I have these days?

To what end? How are ten pictures of Sharmila and I – and remember – we have to look happy in all of them which dramatically reduces the sample set in our case – going to make one iota of a difference to anybody? Other than of course, setting the wrong expectations to the poor souls that are contemplating on getting married 🙂

By the way, you are not fooling me one bit about your marriage with those pictures. Put some candid pictures – one where you were fighting, one where you completely embarrassed yourself, one where she sent you to sit in the corner, one where you unexpectedly got a surprise…. you know all those small real life things that actually make a happy marriage. All those seemingly happy moments you self-choose does not define your marriage. Those are meant for a Facebook pyramid scheme. If your marriage is anything like mine, its happiness is not derived from a continuous stream of smiling face photo-ups but unrelenting ups and downs with an underlying trust and belief that the other person will always be there for you. You can’t take a picture of that. You have to feel it.

I have to say, I do enjoy sometimes when you occasionally put those happy pictures of you and your spouse. I feel special that you desired to share a happy moment with me. And certainly feel happy for you. Those are special moments. Let’s keep them special. That specialty goes away in my mind when I realize that you are doing this for a “challenge” and worse, you are trying to make a daily habit of it for some time. And that you intend to encourage such behavior from ten other people!

And maybe you still feel you need to do that. Ok. Your call. But why me?? I and the king of TMI in FB. I am the exemplar of hedonism in FB with every bit of my life posted on Facebook. Have you not been warned at all not to encourage me to post more? Even the carriers are going – dude – throttle back – your data use is overloading those snooping NSA servers 🙂

Ok. Now allow me to finish this post, quit searching our photo databases for ten pictures and instead utilize that time to think of one more reason to pick up a fight with Sharmila 🙂

3 September 2016

Friday decompression

The couplet was written by Agha Bismil but was used by Nusrat in his qawwali “Ankh Uthi Mohabbat Ne Angrai Lee” written by Purnam Allahabadi

“Mehfil mein baar baar unhi par nazar gayee
Humne bachayee lakh magar phir udhar gayee
Unki nigahon mein koi jadoo zaroor tha
Jis par pari usi ke jigar tak utar gayee”

In the gathering, my eyes kept drifting towards her
I controlled myself a thousand times; still they went back to her
There was some eternal magic in her gaze
Whoever it fell upon, he lost his heart and everything else

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24 July 2016

Ah! those pesky little things called “children”

First day of vacation to celebrate the impending passage of Natasha’s next step in life – leaving us to join college. While many parents have gone thru this phase in their lives, for Sharmila and myself, this will be our first. It will be interesting to see how each one of us internalize this passage of our own lives – the balancing of the joy of seeing her grow to be her own woman on one hand and then breaking out in sweat at night realizing that if we walked over to the other room, she is not going to be there, on the other…

Today, she is going to see some of our very old friends who often helped us manage her when she was a mere baby. Many of them have not seen her since those days (and have never seen Nikita!). It probably will not make a big mark in her mind, but for me, it will be momentous watching those “intersection points”.

There is a fascinating poem by the great Lebanese-born American-settled poet Kahlil Gibran called “On Children” that does an exemplary job of setting the parent – children perspective in the larger context of Life.

——

“Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
But seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
As living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
And He bends you with His might
That His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
So He loves also the bow that is stable.”

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25 June 2016

Bittersweet evening….

This evening, while I was practising tabla, Sharmila came into the music room and as we talked, she casually mentioned about Amjad Sabri. Being somebody who avoids news de jure (no TV, no newspaper for me), I did not realize that Amjad Sabri had been murdered in Pakistan a couple of days back.

For those who are not aware, Amjad came from a musical family that went back four centuries in undivided India!! His father and uncle are my first recollection of Sabri Qawwalies. Their family sang devotional songs in the Sufi style. Sufism is one of the mystic strains of Islam that is liberal in nature (e.g. A lot of Sufi music is in praise of alcohol).

Appparently, he was gunned down by Taliban who professes a very conservative militant version of Islam day before yesterday in Karachi in Pakistan – where his family lived after the dividing of India. The world makes a lot less sense to me now. What can anybody have anything against music?

This evening, I spent hours practising tabla with Amjad Sabri songs (you should be able to see him if you zoom in to the iPad)

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18 June 2016

Complete quietness

Sitting out in the woods for the last hour and a half. The crickets are unusually quiet tonight. Once in a while you can hear a plane in the distance. Lots of fireflies all around me. The moon playing hide and seek behind the clouds… 

Reminds me of the early morning quiet times with my dad.

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18 June 2016

Friday evening unwinding with some personal time

It was a hectic week with three subsequent mornings starting at 3:45 am to catch 6 am flights. This evening’s choice of singer was Munni Begum. She was actually born in a village – not too far from where I come. Born a Bengali muslim called “Nadira”, her family had moved to Bangladesh and then Pakistan. I understand she lives in US now.

“Kis ko khabar thi sanwli badal
Bin barse urh jate hain
Sawan aya lekin
Apni qismat mein barsaat nahin
Toot gaya jab dil to phir
Sanson ka naghma kya maani”

Who knew the dark clouds
Would fly away without raining
The rainy reason was here
But it did not rain for me
When the heart is broken
Music has no meaning..

(Somebody should translate the “sanson ka naghma” part better – literally it is the song of our breath? )

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28 May 2016

Friday evening relaxation

“Hum jeet na sake woh aisi shart laganey lagey
Hamari aankhon ko apni aankhon se ladaney lagey
Jeet jaate, par palak humne jhukali
Kyon ki unki palkon se aansoo jo aane lagey”

Tranlsated,
She started making bets that I couldn’t possibly win
As she locked her eyes upon my eyes
I could still have won, but I relented and looked down
Because I saw the tears roll down her eyes”

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