28 September 2013

Fascinating Evening

One of the better evenings I have had. After a week of some good and bad news in professional life, had a nice cool down time with some personal friends and my wife at a local bar. After a really great time with some hearty laughter, everybody left – including my wife – for various Indian parties they had to go to. And I decided to hang around by myself and nurse my gin and tonic as I collected my thoughts for the week. I still had to fully accept my friend’s sudden bereavement.
Barely had my friends left, a couple came and sat beside me. Not to be conspicuous, I moved my barstool a little to give them some space. But in that “Thank you” … “No problem”… we got embroiled into a much much longer discussion. At some point I was feeling bad and apologized for imposing myself on their private evening. They insisted they were having a great time and wanted to talk more.
Fascinating discussions.
Found out Blaine used to work where I work today, nearly twenty years back!! He told me about my current company stories that were simply mind blowing. Found out that one of the pre-sales guys in my group started as a security guy at the front gate of our office and during night shift, he used to be bored and read up our system manuals! That is how he switched to technology!!!
I noted his lack of hair on head and commended him on his hairstyle and loudly wondered why I might like it 🙂 Well, I found out it is from chemotherapy 🙁 Blaine is a cancer survivor. Not once, not twice, thrice!!
Incredulous, I asked him “You have beaten back death thrice? I know nobody else like you. What is your epiphany moment?”. He told me that he wanted to get over his fears. So he skydived! I am like “You skydived to get over your fear of skydiving”? Oh! no! He not only got over his fear, he actually learned to love it. Has skydived for over 90 times. Does it every other week or so. Even Kim mentioned that she has skydived with him. (BTW, his suggestion for best skydive? Dubai SkyDive). I promised him to put it on my bucket list.
By this time, I had ordered some food. And I asked it to be with without cheese. Kim asked me if I was allergic to milk products. I mentioned that I was just watching my saturated fat and cholesterol. That led to a long discussion including how very few of us realize that our liver produces way more cholesterol (which actually is required by our body) than we ingest. And that a lot of this is about DNA. Speaking of DNA, she showed both her hands and pointed to her middle fingers – both were bent on the end. Evidently, everybody in her family has that!!
I noticed something else on her fingers, and asked why was the ring on the wrong hand. She let me know that they are not married. Have dated and lived together for 18 years. Never married though. Obviously, I had to ask why. “Because we don’t want to take each other for granted”. I was literally staring at them trying to grasp what they said. (also remembering that I had told my beautiful wife of 20 years that I would join her 30 minutes back 🙂 )
Eventually, I had to leave. I told them that they were the most unique couple I have ever met and after exchanging contacts wished each other that we have more “intersection points”!!
27 September 2013

David Yankey. You can’t leave now. The meeting is not over.

It finally hit me like a ton of bricks this morning. As I drove away after dropping my daughter at school and headed to office.
He is not going to be there. I will not see him. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. Howmuchever I loiter around his cubicle.
I was able to block away the thought of he having died the whole of yesterday. I kept reminding myself about how I walked up to his cubicle to wish him a happy birthday just a few weeks back.
Staring at the road waiting at the traffic light with dawn barely breaking, I realized that his wife will soon be on the road like me – dropping their kid or grocery shopping – and realizing that he will not be home when she went back. Not that day. Not the next day. Not ever.
Remembering how my daughter told me “I will see you in the evening” before she trotted off to school, I realized there is not going be any such evening for his three kids. Not tonight. Not tomorrow night. Not ever.
It is the finality of death that quashes all hopes of being ever together – even for a fleeting moment. And it is that snatching away of any hope of being together that I cannot ever deal with.
I am the guy who is still looking for his friends who crossed his path 40 years back.
He crossed my path barely a few days back.
If only – if only – I was given one more “intersection point”, this is what I would say-
“Teach me how to be humble like you, teach me how to always smile like you, teach me how to be a great father like you”.
God, I miss you, David Yankey.

12 September 2013

Intersection point. Revisited!

The nagging sense of a missed opportunity to smile at a kid was powerful enough that I went back to the same running route this morning. Figured I might be able to see the kid on his way to school – if that is where he was heading the previous day.
On my way forward, I did not see him.
On my way back, I went past the school again and still did not see him.
Just as I was going to turn into the road back to Starbucks, I spotted him at a distance – with his mom. This time I was determined.
Changed my route, ran towards them and then slowed down. Smiling ear to ear, I took my cap off and told the kid that the previous day he had waved at me. I felt very special and that nobody usually does that. (Completely skipped the smiling part 🙂 ). He gave that same awesome smile and looked up to his mom.
His mom and I exchanged pleasantries (he is a kindergartner and goes to the school that I ran past). Then we fist bumped each other (I mean the kid and I – not his mom and I :-)) and proceeded on our own “lines”.
Now that is an intersection point I can live with!!!

10 September 2013

Smiling back…

One of those signature moments that makes every day such a beautiful day. Early morning during my 5 mile run on Alpharetta sidewalks, climbing up a small hill, I saw a very young kid – the boy could not have been more than four years old – holding his mom’s hand and walking along. Most likely to the Kids and Kids half a mile down the road.
As I approached them, I was trying to be mindful not to startle them from behind. The kid (who by the way, had his head clean shaven like me) heard me, looked back and his eyes were fixated on my bright neon orange shoes 🙂 And just as I passed him, he looked up to me and gave me one of those beatific smile only blissful kids unmindful of their parents’ “Stranger Danger” advise can give. And then wrested his hand out of his mom’s clutch and waved at me.
That was a very powerful moment.
By this time, I was just passing him. I raised my hand and waved back. He could not see me – but I smiled back to him too.
For the rest of the run, I mentally kicked myself for not turning back and showing the kid that I was smiling too. I guess I did not want to be weird to the lady. Or maybe I was too much into the running and missed the enormity of the moment. Regardless, the kid deserved better from an adult.
And that was my lesson for the day – in runs, as in life, we start from different points and end at different points. The line between those points – or the speed at which we traverse the line – does not define us. What defines us are the intersection points with others’ lines. For, it is in those intersection points that life offers us the opportunities to acknowledge each other’s journey, celebrate each other’s presence and make a difference to each other’s lines.
And that journey is what it is all about.
That is why we live. That is why we run.

31 August 2013

Her final word…

Nikita and I climbed to the top of the Stone Mountain this morning. After climbed back down, we sat down in the shade, took out our food from the backpack and rested for a while. Trying to gauge her future interest in climbing up a few more neighboring mountains, I asked “What do you think?”. Pat came her reply – “When I grow up, I am pretty sure I will not be a mountaineer” 🙂

28 August 2013

Brandon Wilson!!!

Memorable evening with Brandon Wilson! We sat in cubicles next to each other in an earlier job. He ran Finances for my business (in other words, kept me honest 🙂 ). Above all, he was my friend!! I remember spending quality evenings after work discussing life – how to not forget the perspective that money is an output, not the end (the company we worked in was an immensely successful startup that went public); how to realize what we are really good at – what kind of work makes us truly happy. Certainly set a lot of direction in my life. And he had just crossed into the thirties then!!!
It was great to see how he has continued with success in his career path. But it is his humble beginnings that stand out. Mother worked in post office, dad either farmed or was in construction in a small place called Muleshoe (west Texas) (as he said “are we happy at work” was not an interesting question for them). Brandon’s first job was as a call center rep. Worked there for six years!!! It is amazing to see how he has kept himself grounded in humility, good values and long term view of the road in spite of the phenomenal success he has had career wise!!
This evening was no different from those evenings. I again learnt a lot from him!!

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25 August 2013

Morning walk after morning run

Most favorite part of Sunday mornings – walk with Nikita on the tree covered dirt roads. Today’s topic de jure was GCF and LCM of three or four numbers. During the mile and half walk, I kept on pushing her with bigger and bigger numbers to see how much mental math she could do. Eventually, she picked up a twig and made a quick hash of it by writing down on the dirt road and solving it 🙂 I called foul. She said “Whatevs” !!!

19 August 2013

Finishing the week

Regardless of how my week went – and they certainly don’t go the way I want always, I can always count on it ending on a perfect note. Always a date night with Sharmila at Milton’s. With our old friends at the bar – Nate, Alex, Alexis, Katelyn, Cathy just to name a few…. The special ones are when Brandon sings at the bar. Here he is …

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