14 February 2018

Checking in with the Pulijals

This was a very long standing promise that I finally got to keep. After almost 10 years!! I remember making that promise when Hari and Usha had visited Sharmila, the two young daughters and myself in our then-new home in Atlanta. I remember having a great time talking about everything and sundry. That meeting itself was after another ten years since I had visited them both in their house in Randolph, New Jersey.

Since I have some time these days in hand, I got into the car and pressed the gas after pointing the car in a generally north easterly direction from Atlanta. The idea being to catch up with some old friends. First stop was Roanoke, VA. Thoroughly enjoyed the solo trip. Took a lot of stops to enjoy the views of the Blue Ridge Mountains.

Eventually showed up at the Pulijals’ abode around 7 PM. It was almost a throwback to that evening I spent at their Randolph house. Non stop chatting. We talked about our old colleagues from US and India, about the kids, about Usha’s passion for dancing, growing plants and trail walking and Hari teaching young kids yoga and Bhagwad Gita! I am not sure how we got there, but we also talked about the reverse osmosis process while softening water!!

It was just like the good old days!!

It took me quite some time to get to the promise I had made them that I would visit their then-new digs in Roanoke. Finally, I got around to it last night!!

Loved it!

Category: Intersection Points | 11 Comments on Checking in with the Pulijals
1 February 2018

I never quite figured out…

… should I try to be an entrepreneur like him or a poet like him!!

My last recollection of meeting Avinash was during a recruiting drive in IIT Kanpur. That goes back nearly 2 decades. He always struck me as a very bright young guy. I remember Raghu and I discussing a couple of times about the potential of Avinash.

Turns out Avinash became a very successful entrepreneur. But since he stayed most of his time in India, I rarely got to see him. We have interacted multiple times during the last two decades but just could not put ourselves together in the same city at the same time.

Till last evening.

It was one of those great conversational evenings. There are successful entrepreneurs and there are successful entrepreneurs. I have never seen any entrepreneur – frankly too many leaders – who have internalized learnings from experience as well as Avinash has. His insightful commentary on the mistakes he has made and how that has made him a better leader is material for a great leadership book. If not for anything else, just the display of humility itself is awe inspiring.

One of the great concepts he talked about is “organizational debt”. In a full circle, he gave full credit to Raghu – the same Raghu that I used to discuss about Avinash two decades back – in opening his eyes to the concept. I am going to skip the details here but it deals with the difficulties any “people person leader” will always have in getting over personal biases and subjectivity.

Another item that Avinash and I have common interest is shayaris and old Urdu poetry. In fact, we spent some time discussing the vagaries of ascertaining gender of inanimate objects in Hindi. His knowledge of Urdu and Hindi is far superior to mine and he has promised to help me translate some the poetry I struggle with from time to time. In that context, a memorable statement from him… I told him how I struggle to translate to English even after I understand what was in the poet’s mind. His words were … “That is to be expected; for poetry is defined as that which is lost in translation”. That was sheer poetry defining poetry!

Yet another memorable quote. I forget the exact context. But he backed up the famous quote “To give up ego, you have to have an ego first” with a Hindi poem which basically means – Only a poisonous snake can forgive. A non poisonous snake forgiving means nothing!!

That was a great evening! Raghu, we missed you!! Let’s get all three of us together soon!!

Category: Intersection Points | 10 Comments on I never quite figured out…
31 January 2018

I have an idea

This is a classic demand supply problem. Remember that event that I talked about who called up Sharmila to tell her that she needed to drop more paintings because they had sold off all her paintings?

Well, they called again today to say they are done with second batch too and need more.

Guess what? Most of the other paintings she wants to put up for sale are actually now in other events or galleries. She is trying to see if they want to take other category of paintings she has for sale.

Meanwhile, I have an idea. I am thinking of doing some paintings myself and sign her name on it. Seems like the fastest return to investment to me 🙂

www.sharmilaroy.gallery

Category: My Family | 10 Comments on I have an idea
30 January 2018

Of oil paints and wines…

After missing the cut for two years, Sharmila was finally an invited artist to the “Spotlight on Art” event in Atlanta (Trinity School). I went there for the opening night. Not that I know which end of a painting brush to hold. OR which is oil and which is acrylic. But I am a sucker for these art events since they always give free wine to the artists and their guests!!!

Apparently, this is a big event. I had to wait a long time to get my wine. First, cops turned me away saying parking was full. Finally, I had to take a shuttle. Then I could barely get inside the exhibition. If it were not that cold outside, I would have just stood out. After about a couple of hours, there was enough space to fight my way to bar counter. Of course, then getting to a spot without having others spill my wine as they jostled around me was a challenge unto itself.

Eventually, late in the night, I could go around and see all the paintings. Also took a few pictures of Sharmila around her paintings. And one where the painting handlers were wrapping up one of her painting for a buyer.

That reminds me. As I mentioned before, she was invited on her third attempt. And on day 2 (today), she got a call from them to bring on more paintings – they were all sold out on the ones from her they had put up yesterday!!

I might go back for some more wine 🙂

Category: My Family | 100 Comments on Of oil paints and wines…
22 January 2018

She gave me something to think about… What do you think?

Last week, I spent some time with one of my favorite friends in one of the hospice centers – let’s call her Mrs. Nancy. I walked into her room and was not sure she would have remembered me.
“Mrs. Nancy. Remember me?”
“Of course. You went to India to see your dad.”

That was surprising. In fact how our whole brain works or sometimes chooses not to work still is an enigma to me. Both Mrs. Nancy and my dad can remember certain things so well and then there are obvious things that we have to keep repeating to them!

“So, how is he doing?”
“Thank you Mrs. Nancy. He actually has had a surprisingly good progress. That was very encouraging”.
“That is good”.
“Indeed. Looks like I missed your birthday when I was gone.” I had noticed a few cards over her table.

She kept looking at me. I was not sure I had a grip over the whole situation. So I asked:
“When is your birthday?
“Jan 19th”, she said after a quick thought.
“Jan 19th? I see. Let’s see… that was… that was… wait a minute. Today is Jan 19th! Is it your birthday today?”
“I do not know”

I opened up a couple of cards and sure enough – one stated Jan 19th.
“Happy Birthday! It is your birthday today!!”, I yelled.
I was not too sure why I was yelling. I was inexplicably excited.

“Have you read the cards? Did somebody read them to you?”
“I do not remember”
“Well, that is what we are going to do now then”.

As you see in the picture, I held the cards very close to her and slowly read them out. The particularly favorite one for me was the one from her son and daughter-in-law who wrote a very touching card, I thought. In fact, I read it out a couple of times for her. (The picture is of that card).

I did not realize it then, but the picture has partially caught that incredible smile that can come only from a blissful pride in your child.

Later, when we were done, I packed up the cards and then settled down in my chair.

Suddenly, she remembered my dad again. She can’t remember her own birthday but she remembered a person she had only heard about a couple of times. Go figure!

“Do you write to your dad?”

Whoa! I am reasonably fast on my feet – even if I say so. But that one stumped me.
“No”, I stammered… Too many things were swirling in my mind – the two weeks it takes for a letter to go from Atlanta to Kalyani. The missed mails. etc. But I soldiered on – “I call my parents up everyday”. I omitted the part that should have clarified “parents” mean “mom”. My dad can’t hear anything on a phone.

She nodded. I figured I had made peace with her.

Till she came up with the words that has been ringing in my ears – “Sometimes you should write him a card. He can read that over and over again”.

I must have stared at her for a few good seconds.
That is true. Phone calls are one and done. Cards and letters are forever. I know how much I cherish the letters that I have saved from my childhood. And how much I regret not saving more of them.

She might have just pushed me to write to my dad. Maybe a letter every other week? What do you think? Should I do it?

Would you do it for your dad or mom? Do physical pieces of memory transcend ephemeral ones like phone calls?

Category: In Transit | 13 Comments on She gave me something to think about… What do you think?
17 January 2018

With windchill that was minus 4 degrees!!! Fahrenheit!!!

The day started at 4 am. Natasha had a morning flight to New York. I tried taking the car out. Could not even get past the driveway. Fishtailed it dangerously close to bringing down the fence a couple of times. Aborted it and got back into the garage and switched her flights to the evening.

Now that I was up, there was only one other thing I could do. Get out in the cold weather and attempt a run. Six layers on top, four layers below, three layers of socks (with grocery bags in between two layers to prevent getting wet), three layers on the head and a ski mask and off I went out in windchill temperatures of minus 4 degrees. (minus 20 Celsius).

Getting up to my gate itself was a big chore. My drive to the gate has three steep turns and I kept slipping down with every step. Eventually, got off the road and went thru the forest catching the trees on the way to give me balance.

Once on top of the hill, there was not a soul to be found. No marks on the road whatsoever save a set of tire marks and few scattered deer hoof marks. Running was out of the question. Tried a couple of times and nearly face planted myself every time. Went for the next best option – walked for two and a half miles (4K).

It was absolutely desolate. Not a single sign of life anywhere in the vast whiteness you could see any which way. Every time I looked back, there was only one set of footsteps on the road – mine own. The walk to the destination was not too bad. It was cold, undoubtedly. But I was dressed up for it. As long as I did not try to hurry up, I had enough grip on the surface to walk at a 17 min/mile pace.

The trouble started on my way back. What I had not realized – due to the outer layer of wind breaker – is that I had a strong 16 mph wind behind my back. As I turned around, it hit me squarely in the face. A few square inches of skin that was exposed in my face started burning . The wind was starting to make it thru the breathing holes in my ski mask too.

The best option for me at that point was to put my face down and put one my hands up close to the face and block the howling wind. The plan worked fine till I realized that the angle of my face made all the exhaled breath to go into my glasses which were so frigid that they fogged up. In one misguided and somewhat desperate moment, I tried to wipe the glasses with my gloves. That pretty much blurred up the rest of the glasses.

Now, I had vision of about a couple of yards from the lower end of the glasses. Everything else was blurry white. This is where the one set of tire marks – somebody in the morning made it out on the road – came in handy. The safest way to stay on the road, I figured was to stay in between the tire marks that I could see with my limited visibility.

Half a mile of devoid of any incidence later, I was feeling smug about my scheme to stay between the tire marks. In an immediate irony, that is when I also realized that I was in a ditch. It turns out whoever drove the truck in the morning missed the road at a turn and got into a ditch. And I had faithfully followed it. Straining to look at the tire marks in the yonder while lifting my face, I was pretty impressed by what I saw. The tire marks clearly showed that one side of the vehicle was in the ditch and the other side was still on the road – a clear two feet difference in height. Which is what made me conclude that it must have been a truck or SUV to have that much clearance.

The driver did not instinctively try to get the truck back on the road. Instead looks like she/he drove further off the road, making the side on the ditch climb up a little on the other wall of the ditch and reduced the tilt of the vehicle. Eventually the ditch evened out and you could see the truck had gotten back on the road. I further realized, at that point that all that deductive logic and marveling at the presence of mind of the driver was not taking me an inch closer to home. Which is when I climbed out of the ditch and trudged back towards home once again.

I cannot count that as a run, given the pace. So, we will mark it down as a 4K walk in minus 4 degree temperatures.

Score one for Mother Nature and me!!!

Category: My Family | 28 Comments on With windchill that was minus 4 degrees!!! Fahrenheit!!!