29 June 2016

Nikispeak: What is a foochka? (golgappa or paanipuri for others)

Before going to bed, I was catching up with the two daughters. Nikita, of course, wanted to chat for a long time and get all the details of my day. She is fairly curious that way – especially if that can distract her from all the homework and chores her mom has given her πŸ™‚

When I had just come to the point of “I went to have foochkas”, she interrupted me…

“What is a foochka?” Before I could try to explain, she remembered something and continued…

“Oh! Isn’t that the thing where you poke a hole and have with really yucky water?”

And for good measure, added.. “No offense”

πŸ™‚

29 June 2016

Notice something funny with my mom’s phone dialpad?

As it is my mom is completely oblivious of all the advances in phone technology. She does not even look up the address book to call somebody. She has no idea how to increase the volume while on a call. The only thing she has been trained to do is press the buttons (stemming from her land line days) and wait for the other person.

Even that, looking at her phone, how she does it, I do not know. Looking at her keypad, I can only conclude that she has never attempted to make an outbound call!! And she has had this phone for at least a couple of years!!

image

9 June 2016

Nikispeak – tips on Happiness

There I was in my bar trying to study up what cocktail to make for the evening when I hear the following conversation going on upstairs…

Sharmila (yelling): “Nikita, why is your room still in this shape?” (I assume she walked into her room and everything was in sixes and sevens)

Nikita replied, very calmly: “Mom, here is a tip on happiness. Don’t worry about what you cannot control”.

And I was like – “Sit down with me, girl. I don’t need no alcohol to entertain me this evening” πŸ™‚

8 June 2016

I am a walking-talking-fashion-disaster :-(

Remember how, a few weeks back, I had forgotten my shoes and had to come to office in office clothes and bright neon colored running shoes? Well, let the records indicate that I am nothing if not a quick learner. Let the records further stipulate that I learn only one thing at a time. So, while I have not forgotten the shoes ever since, I did forget the socks today πŸ™

Black trousers, black shoes and ankle high white print socks it is then!!

image

27 May 2016

New office dress code?

You would think that after years and years of having the same routine every morning – go for a run, go to the gym to take a shower, drive to office – I would be able to pack my gym bag in my sleep. Apparently, I can’t do that even when I am awake!!

I certainly had remembered last night while throwing in stuff in the gym bag that it was going to be a Friday today and therefore it was going to be casual clothes for office. However, in the bargain, I completely forgot to throw in my shoes πŸ™

Sitting in that gym bench in the locker room, I contemplated for about a minute, weighing in my options. And then finally just walked out in a pair of understated jeans, a casual black shirt and a decidedly garish neon pair of running shoes πŸ™‚

After walking into office, I went from door to door asking people how I looked πŸ™‚ Most were polite πŸ™‚ Some even suggested that if anybody could pull it off, it would be me πŸ™‚

Which kind of makes sense. As unseemly as those shoes look, without the shoes, the rest doesn’t look much seemly either πŸ™‚

Bidisha – this one is for you – #100ridiculousdresspact πŸ™‚

image

24 May 2016

Nikispeak special

Yesterday, as I drove Niktia to the bowling alley, she sat next to me in the car and the following conversation ensued:

She: Dad I got a good one (joke) for you. It works best if a guy says it.
Me: What? Try me.
She: I told my girlfriend that she had drawn her eyebrows too high.
Me: And?
She: She looked surprised.

Sometimes, she makes me proud πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

19 May 2016

Easy lies the head that wears a “crown” :-)

It was yet to be 4:30 AM. I was on my way to Portland airport to catch a flight back home. Called up mom and then my brother. As soon as my brother started talking, I could hear a yelling of “Jethu?” (which is what my nephews call me – it is the Bengali word denoting dad’s elder brother) and then I figured the nephews had snatched the phone from my brother and were talking all over themselves trying to tell me something very excitedly.

Once they had stopped to take a breath, I asked them to calm down and explain the whole thing from the beginning. What I gathered was the following – my sister-in-law is in China now for school work and my brother had brought the nephews to my parents house for a few days. So far, this was old news to me. I kept mechanically driving to the airport as they kept telling me what I already knew.

Then the conversation took a quick turn. Turns out that on Day 1 with grandparents, they got their heads shaved. Why would they get their heads shaved, I asked myself?? In our culture, that is the custom if one of your parents die – which clearly was not the case here – or perhaps if you had an attack of lice or something even more sinister – which would be a shame. In my confusion and surprise I missed my turn to the airport πŸ™‚

It seems my dad told them the story about how when my brother got his head shaved at their age [Oh! yeah! in those days, as a kid, we used to get our heads shaved a few times. We used to be told that our hair would grow stronger and better; I have lived long enough to know that there is no truth to that advertising πŸ™‚ ], my sister and I used to write with “dot pens” (ball point in today’s terminology) on his head. The nephews found that story very funny. Presumably, which was what my dad’s purpose was.

But then the two brothers started asking themselves how come they don’t get their heads shaved. Having not come up with any good reason, they approached my brother. Who had the same logical question every rational thinking dad would ask. I understand the younger one, in sheer desperation, came up with the following – “Jethu-r moton dekhtey laagbey, tai”. (“so that we can look like Jethu”).

My brother, apparently not convinced that the world has suffered enough with looks like mine, quickly obliged and a short trip to the local market later, they came back with this… ahem… “barber”ic act πŸ™‚ My brother said that the whole day they had been waiting for my daily call to tell me about their moment of “crowning” glory.

Once I understood the whole story, I got in on it too. “When I come to India next end of June, we will all get shaved together and take a picture”, I offered. To which, the elder nephew protested. “What happened?”, I asked. He demurred that the kids in school would make fun of him. I figured they still use “dot-pens” in school these days πŸ™‚

So, we opted for the second best course. They took pictures of themselves and sent them to me. A little stitches here and there, I was able to put together the following picture. Which should make you laugh in stitches.

Sometimes I worry if I am setting a low standard for my nephews…

image