Is this where they get the supplies to put out a fire? (Chicago O’Hare Skyclub)

After my previous search, just to see what is the state of human curiosity, I typed in “Why is”. The first two most commonly searched phrases was a little more reassuring. But #5 commonly searched question is “Why is Caillou bald”?? And what is up with all these Stanley Cup questions?

I wanted to find out how old the earth is. I started googling and wrote out “how old is”. The top 10 commonly-searched phrases offered by Google put a dampener on my assumptions of intellectual curiosity of human kind. Come on. Mimi Faust? Stanley Cup? Chief Keef? Hunter Hayes????

It is raining again in Atlanta. I think it is high time that we all changed our names and started build our arks. And if your name is Noah, you may skip straight to the ark-building part 🙂 Personally, I am keeping  a “No vacancy” sign ready to be put up when those two pesky little mosquitoes show up 🙂

Last night, we came back late (by my standards) from a party and as we were all getting ready to go to bed, I overheard my wife telling the kids – “Your dad is going thru a midlife crisis”. I was too tired and sleepy to find out what is going on. I went thru my mental checklist “Did I buy a red BMW? No. Is my beer gut showing? No. Am I chasing miniskirts? No. Okay, no crisis now. We will figure this thing out tomorrow” and went off to sleep even before I hit the bed.

This morning, woke up early before everybody and not wanting to wake anybody up to enquire about last night, I did what all self-respecting people would do. I googled “midlife crisis symptoms” 🙂 (Man, what did we ever do before Google? ) And took an online test – yes, there is one and I am totally jobless – that guaranteed to do a 40-point checklist to find out if I have midlife crisis. (This was like taking my car to the dealer for a 40-point midlife inspection or something) 🙂 (BTW, the website is http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/you-having-midlife-crisis-check-2020597 )

Scored 7/40. It rated me as “You are obviously too young to understand the question”!!

That got me even more worried – if at 47, I am too young, that means I will need more money to live out the longer life. Which means I cannot envisage a time when I will be able to afford to retire – which was exactly what Q18 was – and now I am failing a question I had originally passed. Same with Q23 (Dreaming about quitting work but knowing you’ll never be able to afford to).

I realized that I was starting a slippery slope where the act of interpreting my score was increasing the score itself. I had to stop before I was rated “Calm down you crazy old loon. At this rate you’ll never remember why you went upstairs”. So, I switched off my computer and went back to bed.

Evidently non-midlife crisis people are supposed to wake up late 🙂