19 May 2023

How many of you remember the Lockhorns?

To my friends who did not grow up in India: did you folks read the Lockhorns as part of your childhood?

To my friends who grew up in India: I am sure you remember the inimitable couple and their caustic but really funny humor!

To my friends who refused to grow up: good for you!!!

Thinking of getting a few of the Lockhorns series books if I can find them. Vikram Das and Somshekhar Baksi, you two are most likely to have a collection…

Category: Humor | LEAVE A COMMENT
18 May 2023

Book Review: The Courage to be Disliked

by: Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

I got to know about this book from a quote that my friend Roger Whitney had sent me.

This book is written as a conversation between the “Philosopher” and a young student (“Youth”). I assume it was written in this format to make it more readable and verbalize thru the questions of the Youth, the questions a reader might have. This format, however, did not land well with me. For one thing, I did not really have as many questions as the youth and therefore, the reading was a bit jerky. I would have rather read a normal essay style.

That said, one can learn a lot about Adlerian philosophy. And this is what Roger’s quote was all about.

A few things you might learn about Adlerian philosophy

1. It takes the approach that the past does not matter. This would go against other philosophers like Freud who believed that our current behavior is because of what has happened in the past – called etiology. Adler argues that our behavior is entirely governed by what we want in the future (teleology).
2. All problems are interpersonal relationship problems. Feelings of inferiority are subjective assumptions based on our own comparison with others. On this one, the authors give a nice counterexample of short people. Such values, Adler argues are based on social context. Thus it is really a choice we make. Adler has an interesting way of putting things – Humans are all equal. But not the same.
3. There is an interesting trick Alder goes into – “Discard other people’s task”. Basically, it goes into you do what you need to do. If something is not your task to do, do not worry or think about it. This means not only not seeking recognition but this also means do not fret about what your child is not doing even after you have reminded them. That is their task to do. Worrying will only make you unhappy on something you cannot control. This part of the book does a good job on how to reconcile this with what would therefore then be good parenting exercises.
4. The following quote appealed to me – “Unless one is unconcerned by other people’s judgments, has no fear of being disliked by other people, and pays the cost that one might never be recognized, one will never be able to follow through in one’s own way of living. The courage to be happy is also the courage to be disliked.”
5. In Adlerian philosophy, a sense of belonging is something that one can attain only by making an active commitment to the community of one’s own accord and not simply by being there.
6. In another interesting concept, Adler says “Do not praise”. In the act of praise, there is the aspect of it being “the passing of judgment by a person of ability on a person of no ability”. Instead of praise or rebuke, there should be active “encouragement” that can only come from a horizontal relationship.
7. Adler defines happiness as the feeling of contribution.
8. And finally, Adler believes that life, in of itself, has no meaning. Whatever meaning life has must be assigned to it by the individual.

Category: Books | 4 Comments on Book Review: The Courage to be Disliked
17 May 2023

What is “success”?

To switch up from rusting postal vehicles and dizzying runs, here is a question I have for you…

Three wise men and I had gathered a couple of days back at Mazzy’s to discuss a particular topic. Before I go any further, I have to tell you about Bengalis and “addas”. I do not know how it is in Bengal these days, but growing up, I was aware that we had a couple of reputations as a tribe.

First, we loved our “addas” (আড্ডা). These are basically a few Bengalis (say two to six – usually no more) hanging out. Constant drinking of tea was a paramount feature of such gatherings. The location could be outside – like the turn of the street, the benches outside the street side tea stalls or inside the coffee houses.

Second, we were known to be “আঁতেল” . Meaning intellectual. We would dive into poetry, philosophy, history, science … basically anything that did not require us to do some work. We would solve global hunger problems over a teacup but nary a step would we take to actually do something about it. For example, you could spot us going threadbare on what is giving rise to Kolkata’s street pollution problems and then watch us absentmindedly throw the earthen tea cup onto the street narrowly missing the scooter that just went by.

Deserved or not, in a bit of a revival of that reputation, Mrinal-da, Amitesh, Samaresh and I hung out at Mazzy’s. Since Mazzy’s does not know what “দুধ-চা” (the way tea is consumed in Bengal) is, we settled for a bottle of cabernet. (Nobody complained about it, I should add 🙂 )

Anyways, the topic de jure in this “adda” was “What is success?”

Fairly animated discussion, I should say.

To make this a virtual “adda“, I am curious about how you think about success. One of the things we were tripping up on was what is the difference between success and happiness? Is success a single variate or is it measured on multiple variables and stand together at the same time?

Think about the things you would say you have been successful in and the ones you have not been successful in. What was the definition of “success” did you just use when you made those self judgments?

Curious to hear your points of views. And feel free to join our “addas” if you are nearby.

Category: Musings | LEAVE A COMMENT
16 May 2023

We are getting closer to solving the problem

Do you remember the last two curiosity questions I had posted on the postal vehicles? The one about why one side of the postal vehicles’ roof is always rusted and the other one about why some of them have steering wheels on one side while the others have it on the other side?

Well, hearing the responses from you all on the second one, we might be closer to solving the first one.

For the second, we have logically concluded that the steering wheel is on the “wrong” side only if the vehicle is meant to deliver mail door to door. That makes sense. The mailboxes are on the right and the driver does not have to get out every single time (not to talk about seat belt on and off). The ones that had steering wheel on the “right” side clearly was being used to transfer mail between post offices or purposes as such.

This morning, while having tea in the patio, I tried to see if the roof rusting matched a pattern I was wondering about.

LO AND BEHOLD!! IT DID!!!

Look at the picture. There are three vehicles that have no rusting on the roof. Look closely at those vehicles – they are the different looking vans that are NOT used for door to door delivery. And look at the door to door delivery vehicles. Each one of them have that pattern.

So, this HAS to do something with the requirements on a vehicle for door to door delivery. I know they do not have any HVAC. The windows are always open for constantly flinging the mail or putting the mail in the mailbox. I have even seen table fans in these vehicles to cool down the drivers.

So, what is it about windows being always open that might have something to do with the rusting?

This is where I am starting to think that Nick Kules might be on to something… that the way the drainage on the roof is designed might have something to do. Could it be that there are ridges so that after a little rainfall or water accumulation, the water does not drip down the window and potentially wet the mail? And that is why the stagnated water rusts out the roof?

Then why not on the driver’s side also?

I HAVE to crack this problem.

Need you all to pitch in with your combined imagination and analytical powers.

Category: Puzzles | 1 Comment on We are getting closer to solving the problem
15 May 2023

Can somebody explain this to me?

Having a house in front of the post office is one of the more enjoyable features in my new living. Sitting down in the balcony early in the morning with a cup of tea, I can spend hours watching the postal folks get busy with their day.

As always, there are curious questions I have that I have found no answer. You may remember the one about all postal vehicles having rust on the front side of the roof on the non-driver’s side but nowhere else. Never figured out why.

In fact you can see that in all the vehicles lined up agains the wall in the picture!

Today, I noticed something else intriguing. Early morning a tow truck showed up with two postal vehicles. This is common for Mondays. I assume they had gone for maintenance over the weekend.

Look at which side the driver is sitting!!! It is the opposite side of postal vehicles (but in alignment with all other vehicles)!!

So when do postal vehicles have steering wheels on the “normal” side and when do they have on the “other” side?

Category: Puzzles | LEAVE A COMMENT
15 May 2023

That was a blast from the past!!

So, there we were – Jay Jay and I, having a philosophical debate over a glass of wine and a plate of Kibbles (to avoid doubt, I had the wine). The topic de jure was “Who is really whose best friend?” We were at the peak of the debate – what triumphs what – keeping the family safe or cleaning his poop – when I thought I saw a nattily dressed couple walking by. They had not noticed me. But I recognized them from my past.

So, I simply got up, walked up to them and asked “Who let you in here?”

A couple of seconds later, there were yells of “RAJIB???”

And that is how I ran into my two old colleagues from 15 years back – Patricia Rosenfeld and her husband Claudio Brenna.

I had not seen them for over 10 years. Other than the birthday calls, I do not think I have had any other contact with them. They are still working in the same company. It was so great to hear about their progression in life and how the old company has continued in its winning ways.

I did not realize that their son and Natasha actually live very close to each other in Brooklyn. I also did not realize that Patricia and Claudio had moved to Key Biscayne. We agreed to try out some boating when we visit them there.

That was a very nice evening… (and not just because I beat Jay Jay in the debate)

Category: Intersection Points | LEAVE A COMMENT
15 May 2023

Second run to isolate what is ailing me

[Thank you for all the great ideas I have received – not to speak of the well wishes – after my last post]

Not that I was trying to scale dizzying heights with my running prowess… simply wanted to understand the pattern of my onset of dizziness. If you have read the last related post, you will grasp the context.

Next morning, when the temperatures were in mid 60s, I went for another run. The idea was to complete 3 miles if I could. And carefully notice the pattern of events if and when the dizziness set in.

The run felt beautiful. Had my wicking hat but no sunglasses on. Cooler temperatures and the wind was fairly nice. Carefully chose a path where I could stay in the shade for most of the time.

Almost on the mark of one mile, I got dizzy. Much milder in intensity but I could feel the clear instability. Went thru the check list quickly. Heart rate at the time, one minute reduction in bpm and all that. Everything was within good limits.

Next thing was to do some quick sit ups and turns of the neck. Did not get any dizziness. Stand up on leg for half a minute. No issues.

Started the run again. This time, the goal was to see if could power myself thru or would the dizziness get worse if I did not stop.

Got a major clue during the next bout – which came after another three fourths of a mile. Felt mild dizziness. But powered thru. Separated the legs a little more to give more stability but kept running. The dizziness went away after about what seemed like a minute or less.

Now, I admit I was running with a little bit of fear – fully focussed on how I was feeling. I kind of felt that at a very very low level, I was still a little unstable – but that might just have been the fear.

There was another pattern I discovered – I would feel more unstable going downhill than uphill. The one logical reason would be my brain was not processing fast enough to realize that when stopping downhill, my foot would find the ground a bit later. In that gap of expecting landing and actual landing, brain was getting scared. Uphill was not a problem. Because I was landing a bit earlier than expected. Now, this is only a theory.

So, it is either true my brain is having hiccups – could be hypoglycemia as some have suggested or lack of electrolytes. This would mean the heat simply got to me. Which reminds me, I have been walking the dog in the heat every day too (the evening walks are cooler) since Sharmila is attending a wedding in Dallas.

Or that BPPV thing. It fits the pattern of gentle sense of instability – but only when I am standing. Never feel it when I am sitting down or lying down. Got Brandt-Daroff exercises literature from my doctor friend in India.

I am going to start getting more electrolytes in my drinks as suggested by a few more of you and insisted upon by my wife.

And observe what is my body trying to tell me the whole day.

Question for all of you: What do you do to listen to your body – which is almost always sending you enough feedback?

Also, on a side note, feel free to communicate to me directly about your concerns about my health. My poor wife, who is already very worried about my health gets really worried when you ask her about my health. I guess she feels guilty she is not taking care of me. In reality, she is doing everything she can. It is I who have decided that I would rather die sooner but fully understand what I died of than die later but never understand what was this body that I had was all about. That is a personal choice (messed up as it might be)

Again, none of this takes away my gratitude to you all. I take your reach out and comments as markers that I have made some real friends in life who care enough. I even get dizzy realizing therefore how blessed I am 🙂

Hopefully, you will continue with me in this curious journey.

Category: Running | LEAVE A COMMENT