9 June 2024

Book Review: Note to Myself by Hugh Prather

I am not somebody who finishes a book in one sitting. I have three unfinished books in my library to prove that. The only one I have ever done before is a book called “The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur” which is easily finished in 20 minutes.

However, this book, I did finish in one and a half hours sitting in the park in Marietta Square while Sharmila was at her art show. The book is written mostly as thoughts journaled by the write Hugh Prather.

It is a very quick read but full of some insights that the author has gone thru…

Here are some that resonated with me:

1. My anxiety does not come from thinking about the future but from wanting to control it.

2. The key to motivation is to look at how far I have come rather than how far I have to go.

3. I believe that for almost everyone else life is also a mixture of unsolved problems, ambiguous victories and vague defeats – with very few moments of clear peace.

4. My trouble is I analyze life instead of live it.

5. Now that I know I am no wiser than anyone else, does this wisdom make me wise?

6. The number of things just outside the perimeter of my financial reach remains constant no matter how much my financial condition improves. With each increase in my income, a new perimeter forms and I experience the same relative sense of lack.

7. Don’t fight a fact, deal with it. Don’t discard your self, be more of it.

8. Most mistakes are corrected through increased awareness, which usually does not come without some discomfort.

9. The unstill part of the mind travels from one trivial issue to another, avoiding the present and avoiding love.

10. I can be faithful to my image or faithful to myself.

11. Most decisions, possibly all, have already been made on a deeper level than the sentence level of my mind and my going through a reasoning process to arrive at them seems at least redundant.

12. If the desire to do something is not accompanied by actual doing, then the desire is of not doing it.

13. I don’t think religion is an attainable subject for the intellect. I can only believe when I’m not talking about it.

14. I am noticing that when I am bored, I think I am tired of my surroundings but I am really tired of my thoughts.

15. If I feel disapproval of someone, if I find myself ignoring or turning away from someone in a group, I am probably avoiding in myself what this person represents that I believe is true about me.

16. There is no such thing as “best” in a world of individuals.

17. Whenever I find myself arguing for something with great passion, I can be certain I’m not convinced.

18. I find it almost impossible to make a strong declarative statement in conversation without feeling little nagging doubts and reservations.

19. I thought others’ liking me was a comment on me, but it is a comment on them.

20. If I feel compelled to answer every question, *I* am the one compelling me.

21. Silence can mean confidence. And mutual respect. Silence can mean live and let live: the appreciation that I am I and you are you. The silence is an affirmation that we are already together – as two people. Words can mean that I want to make you into a friend and silence can mean that I accept your already being one.

22. An argument is always about what has been made more important than the relationship.

23. I get along with people a lot better when I recognize that no one ever feels exactly the same about me or anyone else from one moment to the next.

24. All acquaintances are passing.

25. Perceptions are not of things but of relationships.

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8 June 2024

When three Bengali ladies meet at the farmers’ market

This being a Saturday morning, Sharmila and I headed for Alpharetta Farmers’ market like we normally do. The idea, as always, is to pick up some fresh vegetables. Jay Jay – while no fan of vegetables himself – unfailingly leads us. Usually, we have to coax and cajole him to come back. He loves watching all the people there and the occasional treat he gets from strangers.

We ran into Seemita-di and Paromita at the first vegetable stall we approached. What followed brought back some flashbacks of overhearing housewives chatting while buying vegetables in Horsho Market (actually, the real name is Horse Shoe Market because of the original shape of the market) near where I grew up in Durgapur.

Not to occupy too much of the stall space in the front (there were other customers), Jay Jay and I stepped back a few feet to give the three women space and time to buy their stuff. Ten minutes later, I realized that they had not picked up even one piece of vegetable but were talking to each other in a very animated way.

Stepping a little forward, I was able to overhear some part of the conversation. The topic de jure was two particular greens the stall was featuring. The aforementioned excited discussion was happening in chaste Bengali much to the amusement of the shopkeeper. She finally asked these three “Would you like some of this?”. One of them explained what was taking them so much time. “Oh! we are teaching each other various methods to cook these two greens.”

Sharmila caught me unawares by suddenly turning around and asking (in Bengali) – “Do you want to eat পুঁই শাক (pui shak) or কলমি শাক (kalmi shak)?” So, I am supposed to let her know if I was going to eat Malabar spinach or Water spinach. To put this in perspective, if you showed me those two greens and some Bermuda grass next to them, I would not know which one was the grass. I do not care much about food at all as long as it keeps me away from being hungry.

But experience has taught me that answering seemingly innocuous questions with two equally likely options is not a smart move. Unbeknownst to me, there is always a “right” answer (regardless how the question is framed). And totally beknownst to me, I pick the wrong answer.

“Let’s take both?” I offered – hoping to take a neutral position that would make the Swiss proud of me. And it immediately hit me that I would have nothing to offer if she, somewhat irritated, asked me “Who is going to cook all these?”

Fortunately, she turned away from me after receiving no help.

Somewhat to avoid any more questions and somewhat because I saw that the three had finally started putting stuff in their bag, I backed out of earshot distance and busied myself greeting all the young tots and dogs milling around.

I saw them paying the lady.

So, I turned around and started walking. A minute later, Jay Jay stopped dead in his tracks. He had looked back and noticed that Sharmila was still there at the stall. In fact, the three were again in yet another confabulation.

A bit of keen observation led me to realize that now they were busy sharing with each other what each had bought!!

I suspect spinach is not the only vegetable I will be eating this week!!

Gotta stay away from the Bermuda grass though!!!

8 June 2024

Not sure what is going on with my runs

This morning went for my usual 5K run. The first mile was the normal 11:15 pace. Look what happened after that. The last mile was faster than my race pace last week! Another sub-30 5K.

Not sure what is going on with this sudden fast pace running (by my standards of course). Is it that the race last week after 7 years kind of gave me a sudden jolt? Or is it the excitement of the new trail? The cool temperatures? (it was 59 degree today). My slower speed was going downhill! the faster ones came on the uphills!

More importantly, why is not my body hurting at the end of it?

Was my mind playing games with me all this time and convincing me falsely that my body is getting too old for running?

Category: Running | LEAVE A COMMENT
7 June 2024

Patiently waiting for mom

We had run out of milk. The three of us took this opportunity to put in a morning walk to Publix. Jay Jay and I hung around outside while Sharmila finished her shopping. When I say “hung around”, I mean Jay Jay just planted himself outside the glass doors and kept staring inside looking for Sharmila. And I stood there helplessly, sipping a cappuccino.