Somewhat surprisingly, the hardest moment was not when I walked into the empty home. Or remembered what it used to be when they were around. Or having to get rid of stuff that they held close to them…. and they were all hard as hard could be.

The toughest moments as the eldest son were when the other siblings would cry. It was very difficult to watch them hurting.

Part of my job was to help them thru the grieving – chiefly by reminding them of the great lives our parents had themselves and had created for us. And that the strength of our relationships among siblings is the enduring legacy of what our parents lived for.

My parents had put a lot of reliance on me (remember the “train engine”) to be always there for my siblings and ensure that they get all the help that they need. Against that instinctive protective DNA that got built into my psyche, watching them grieve was VERY hard.

Most of the difficulty was the sense of helplessness. It is not like I could rectify or reverse the situation.

The irony was not missed on me that for all the urging they had that I should help them from crying in life, they are the ones who caused it in the first place!!!

At 1:10 am, woke up with a violent start. I was dreaming of my parents. I could not sleep any more.

Came out to the balcony where we used to sit together and gaze outside.

It was cool and a breezy. The moon was bright.

Eventually, the darkness started melting away.

I realized that the last night I have slept in what my parents called “home” was coming to an end.

The advent of a new era in my life.

Old memories. New adventures. Old order changeth. Yielding place to new.

That is the cycle of life.

… he takes to driving cars like it is a contact sport…

My brother and I stayed in the ITC Fortune Park Pushpanjali hotel for the first time. It is a fairly new hotel at that. (About a couple of years). Had a first grade experience.

The staff was outstanding. Very welcoming, very friendly and a very sharp eye for the guests’ needs. The facilities and cleanliness was top notch.

Speaking of cleanliness, I would say they had one of the more exacting standards of cleanliness to avoid Covid. Even the elevator panels had plastic picks to press the buttons with. The staff – while very courteous – was not afraid of telling guests to keep their masks on in public areas. That was commendable. All food in the restaurant and bar could be ordered with QR codes and an online ordering app.

I am definitely going to stay here whenever I make it to Durgapur from now on.

One hilarious moment though… in the public bathrooms, alternate urinals were closed (to maintain social distancing). I do not think I have seen that anywhere. I get that.

Now, note the notice carefully. Why they are urging a man to maintain a safe distance from a woman in front of the urinal, I will never understand 🙂

If I spend an hour with my mother in law at her place, about 55 minutes is spent on fighting over the same topic. She will want to feed more and more food. And I would say No to all of them. Years of trying to explain to her that I would rather that she spent the same time talking to me has gone nowhere….

In any case, I did get a chance to spend some time with her this time…

As I explained before, we were restricting ourselves to visiting only my uncle and mother in law. And there were no waiting parents in Kalyani for us. So, we took it easy and had an unique experience.

We watched the town that we grew up in – Durgapur – from a swimming pool on the top of the terrace of a new hotel. The whole time we were there, there was not another soul nearby. We had the whole place and the pool to ourselves…

Retrieved this picture from more than 50 years back at my mother-in-law’s house. That animated guy – who is doing that “namaste” thing? – that is my brother in law!! That girl on the extreme right looking at my brother in law? – Sharmila!! I did not believe my mother in law when she said that.

That hairstyle is a far cry from what I was expecting. Apparently, my mother in law had her head tonsured.

“Why?”, I asked? (could somewhat fathom the torture of shaving a young girl’s head off)

She gave me the answer.

For marital harmony, I am going to avoid writing that answer here.

I will only say (with apologies to Dickens) – “Ask no questions about shaved heads, and no lice shall be told”

In between those constant tug of war of “Want to eat something something?” and “No, no, no”.. we managed to go thru a lot of the pictures from the past. Especially those that had my father in law in them. (Who we lost two and a half years back)

এই যা: স্যার! রং টা ফুরিয়ে গেল !!

(seen during our morning walk)

… it was a morning walk with brother on Monday in Durgapur. We did not have our running shoes with us. So, put in a 4 km walk together…