One of the first pujos I went to today was the one that I used to go when I was a kid! Pujos were something we used to wait for with bated breath. That was the one time of the year we would each get one or two new set of clothes. That was when there were no rules at home. And even at my home, no studies were to be had during those four days.

It was all about getting up, putting on new clothes and making a beeline to the “puja pandal” – a temporary structure set up to hold the festival. That breathtaking percussion noise of the “dhak“, the ringing of bells from the priest, the “mantra”s being channeled thru loudspeakers, the marvelous aroma of incense sticks… it was a breathtaking experience that kicked off on the morning of “Saptami” day!

Meeting friends, playing around, bursting crackers, eating in the “pandal” … those were stuff that dreams were made of for kids that were yet to pass the first decade mark.

Went back to that same “pandal”. So many things have changed and yet, so many things have remained the same!!

The Bengali fear of catching a cold!!! Today, my nephew and I were walking outside around 10 PM. It was 77deg F (25 C) I was working up a sweat but he was ordered to put a hat on! And unlike me, he has a head full of hair!

I also remember my dad wearing his monkey cap at the mere prospect of the sun going down!

This picture reminded me of the good old “Thanda legey jaabey”. This was around 7:45PM and it was 81 deg F (27 C). Loved the whole head gear and muffler thing under the helmet and whatever it was that the pillion rider lady was wearing. Interestingly, he is wearing short sleeves!

There are a few salient attributes that absolutely set us apart as Bengalis. Without a shred of doubt, fear of catching a cold would crack the Top Three!!

My brother in law’s family was the last one to arrive. They usually are. My brother in law has been accused of many things in life – but never ever has anybody called him punctual.

They finally settled down at the lunch table two hours after lunch had started. Sharmila was throwing a lunch party for all the families at a local restaurant. I was hiding in the adjoining bar.

And then came up from behind and after tapping on this shoulder, asked him how he was doing. He turned around and… well, you can see his face!

This is one of the advantages of coming to Bengal during Durga Puja. You get a chance to see whole families together. There are four generations right there in the picture. My septuagenarian uncle (who can easily pass as a 50-year old), my aunt, their two daughters, (one son missing in the picture), their three sons- and daughters-in-law, one granddaughter, one grandson, one great-grandson, my own two siblings, my brother in law and my niece!!

After my parents, this uncle was the closest one to us and our family.

My sister and her family were driving down from Kalyani to Durgapur. You probably remember how all our families are coming over to Durgapur for Durga Puja since Sharmila is here during this time after 31 years.

They were to visit my uncle’s house and the plot was laid to surprise them there. To be very safe, my brother kept this car a little away from my uncle’s house – so my sister would not realize that anything was going on. Plus there was some tree shade.

The minute we saw their car coming, I ran upstairs and waited for all of them to come and settle down in the living room.

And then a few minutes later, I walked in to the room. My sister was still on the floor playing with the pet parrot when she saw me. Check out her reaction! And my niece, once she recognized me, nearly had a heart attack!!!

Oh! By the way, they were looking for some shade too. And had parked their car right next to my brother’s car without realizing anything!!!

The mornings are quiet and cool and great for walks. The roads are near empty. Most people are still in bed after visiting the “puja mandaps” till late night the previous day.

For a very open, people-person like me, the difficulties of making a secret plan are simply unfathomable.

There was the planning part. I tried to make a ruse that I would visit Suriname when she would go to India. There was a credible ring to it since she did not know anything about the country but she knew I was committed to traveling to places most people do not know much about.

The execution part was a bit messy. Imagine this – she is in India on Indian time. I was in Atlanta in Eastern time. And then I am making up stories that I had reached Miami and will get on to my flight to Paramaribo. So now, there was the Suriname time to deal with. And after an 8 hour of inexplicable and very uncharacteristic quietness from me, I was in Paris in French time. I was a mess every time I was texting her trying to remember where the heck I was and what time it was supposed to be and avoid, for example, calling her at 2 am – my alleged local time!! Lest she asked – why are you calling me now? And I would be like – why? the sun is shining in Paramaribo… oh! wait!!!

The second part is how to undo all the plans she had made for me when she was to be gone. The day after she left, a huge amount of Indian food showed at my house that she had ordered from a local chef to tide over the period she would be gone. And there I was, scratching my head, wondering – “I wonder what TSA might have to say about two big packages of chicken tikka masala and paneer kofta on that radar like screen they keep staring at at the checkpoint”. Deciding that was a problem for another day, I simply stashed it in the freeze.

The reasonably easier part – but the one that worries her the most – was dealing with Jay Jay. Heida and Sigurjon immediately offered to help me with the secret. You can see here SK and I on the roof of a local bar – the midnight before I left – hashing out all the Jay Jay details. So that you understand where Sharmila comes from when it comes to her confidence in my ability to deal with Jay Jay – she marks his food in the fridge with big Post Its that say, predictably enough: “JJ’s food”. I still don’t believe it that she does not consider me discerning enough to realize the difference between my food and dog food.

And the final hurdle – and this is the most painful part is how to go thru my best part of life – traveling, taking pictures from the sky, meeting strangers …. AND NOT POST IT ON MY BLOG or Facebook!! That is not for somebody who is as faint of the heart like I. The counter challenge is if I did not post anything, she would get worried whether I was feeling well. Finally resorted to some other innocuous posts like map puzzles to fend her suspicions off!

Eventually, after a few missteps (that included me telling her that I had jumped on to a direct flight to Suriname instead of the one thru Panama after I realized that I had completely messed up the time zone I was allegedly in)… here I am! And none the worse for the wear, either!!

The last one was in 1992. I remember, it was during the Pujas then, that I had asked for the first time if she saw a future for us. And as I had mentioned in a post before, it was the first time she had told me “No”.

You might remember a post from seven years back where my brother took a minute to fill in gas (petrol) and thn five more minutes to pet all the puppies that lined up to him. He just loves animals and the animals return that favor in kind.

He had just met this parrot in our uncle’s house for no more than two minutes when he had already opened the door and the parrot was kissing his palm all over!!

Following in a retinue behind my sister in law were the nephews. The elder one came out first, saw Sharmila, greeted her and turned around and was shocked to see me sitting on the sofa. Look at his face!

The younger one behind him was smiling at Sharmila. Completely oblivious of what was going to happen next!