21 September 2014

This is why I respect teachers that teach 101 courses

Couple of weeks back, when I was at my dad’s home, I went thru one of those nerve wracking, yet, veritably hilarious exchanges with my parents. As I recollect, after lunch, I had quietly put the ceiling fan on and plonked myself in the sofa armed with my iPad hoping to pen some thoughts of the day and expecting my dad to fall off asleep in the bed close by as mom cleared up the lunch table and settled down.

That indeed was exactly how things proceeded with the exception that my dad never went to sleep. He kept on watching me working on my iPad. Finally, he broke the silence – “iPad boley keno? “i” maaney ki Information?” [[“Why is it called iPad? Does the “i” stand for Information?”]]. Honestly, I have no idea why the “i” is there. And the guy who could have helped me died a few years back. Hoping to get dad back to his required sleep, I brushed him off saying “Exactly”.

That is when things went off the script. His next question was “Ei Facebook bolchhey – jinis ta ki?”. First off, he thought Facebook is a material object. And he wanted to know what did it look like. I snapped my iPad shut and tried explaining what Facebook is.

Things went rapidly downhill from there. There were no known constructs that he had familiarity with that I could base my answer on. For example, I would try to simplify by saying “Koyekjona miley jemon paarar morey adda maro – temni seta jodi mukhomukhi na korey internet-e koro – setakey Facebook boley”. So, I tried to explain that it is basically a forum to exchange with your friends on the internet. He stopped me midway asking – “Internet-tao sunchhi khub aajkal. Seta ki rokom dekhtey?” [[“That reminds me. I am hearing about this Internet thing too. How does that look?”]]

When I tried to explain internet, he immediately jumped to “Hardware software abaar ki?” [[no English translation required]]. So like that fifth grade problem of the monkey trying to climb up a greased pole, for every step forward, I was taking two steps backwards!!!

Half an hour later, I was playing the Bengali equivalent of the game Taboo and I had to clue Facebook but I could not use any words that had to do with technology πŸ™‚

Suddenly, during all my patient explanations, my mom piped up (and that is when I realized that she had finished her stuff and had joined us) “Amar ek bondhu’r meyer biye dilo recently. Bolchhey chhele-ta naaki internet-e peyechhe. Etar maaney ki? Internet-e ki korey chheley khnuje paabey? Taholey to chhele-takey internet boley jontro-tar saamney saaradin bos thaktey hochhey? Kintu tui bolcchis internet kono sthhabor bostu noy. Eta ki korey hoy?”. The worst part was not trying to explain the answer to her. The worst part was holding my laughter back.

If you are Bengali-ly challenged, my mom is totally confused by the fact that her friend’s daughter met her husband thru the internet. Match.com be damned, she thinks internet is some kind of an object – maybe a peephole across the long fibre optics wires and the guy is sitting on the other end – so that her friend’s daughter can see him!!! And therefore she completely rubbished my explanation that internet is not an object that you can see!!

After a lot of pull and push, I had somehow established that if you want to communicate to only one person, you use email, for your friend group, you use Facebook and for the whole world, you use websites. I mentioned that they might have heard about websites as “.com”. Big mistake!!

Problem was not that dad had not heard about .com. Problem was mom had heard about it. She finally got a chance to boss over my dad. She had no idea about what .com is but that was not going to hold her back. Ignoring me, she started instructing dad “Internet maaney dot com. Abaar tumi ‘full stop’ boltey paarbey na. Tomakey ‘dot’-i boltey hobey”. [[“Internet means dot com. And you have to say “dot”. You cannot say “full stop” com”]]. I was this close to taking a bio break but I was sure they could hear me laughing my head off in the bathroom.

Somehow, this triggered a memory cell in my dad’s head. He countered mom “Aarey, aajkaal sob bodley dichhe. Phone number-e sunchhi zero boltey paarbey na. “O” boltey hobey. Ekdin to zero boley ki beepod”. Evidently, he got into trouble saying “zero” instead of “O” while talking to somebody on the phone. By the way, “zero” in Bengal is pronounced as “jeero”. Adding more to the confusion πŸ™‚

Anyways, an whole hour was spent thusly. I had barely tried to explain that you can share pictures on Facebook – hoping he would make the connection how it could be a powerful tool for his grandkids to share pictures of each other. Instead, he charged “chhobir proyojonita ki? message pathiye diley-i to hoye gelo”. He failed to see the big need to share pictures. He thinks if you simply get the message you wanted to say across to your recipient, that is enough.

My mom, in the meanwhile, demanded to know – how do you write out the message? So, I showed her the keyboard and demonstrated it. She wanted to know if it was just like the typewriter. Since it had the QWERTY keyboard, I lackadaisically said “Yes”. Little was I prepared for her incredulous and incredible question – “Koi line-ta sesh holey, kichhu thhelchhis na to?”. She wanted my keyboard to be equipped with that push cylinder that you pushed on a typewriter after you finished a line!!

My dad was even more inquisitive – “Erase kortey paaris?”. [[“Can you erase?”]] I was totally flummoxed. How do I explain the backspace key as pretty much your nail polish remover?

Eventually, he retired. But not before muttering “Aaro koto ki aasbey. Amra tokhon thakbo na!”. [[“So many more things will come. We won’t be here to see them”]].

And I was like “Awwwww!!! I will make a deal with you big guy. You get back your willingness to live for a few more years. I will come back enough number of times to teach you enough about internet that you can message me all your life’s complaints every day. I will tell you what. You can Whatsapp your worried face to me too”.

15 September 2014

Two for one!!!

Early September, I called up Atanu to wish him a very happy birthday!! After 1983, I had neither seen him nor talked to him much. A few years back, I got his phone number from another friend and called him up. And jotted down his birthday. Ever since, at least once a year, I get to talk to him and not much more. Except, this year when we talked, we wondered if it would be possible to see each other after so many years.

Atanu was one of our “bhalo chhele” – which in Bengalispeak is, a meritorious student. After school, he went on to pursue his higher education in medical science and is now an eminent doctor in my birth state specializing in pediatrics. Anyways, I was excited at the possibility of meeting him – although I was not sure logistically I could fit it in. My best shot was to go to Asansol – a town I have never been to – about forty five minutes away from Durgapur after I met my gall-bladder-less nephew. (see a blog from a couple of days back).

Eventually, my brother and I did show up at Atanu’s bungalow inside ESI hospital. Again, he looked exactly the way I remembered him from 1983!! I could have easily picked him out in a crowd. Since he, my brother and myself were from the same middle school, we spent some time remembering our old teachers and school.Β 

And then we got introduced to his wife. What I did not know till then is that his wife was our batchmate too. And that she and I had studied in the same school – twice – but not in overlapping timeframes. However, we immediately found common friends from the past. The most exciting moment was when she started talking about her best friend from Bidhan School (eleventh and twelfth grade) that she had not been able to track her down for some time. Want to guess who she was? The same Aditi that I met after forty one years just a couple of days back!! What is the chance of that? I was immediately able to put them together thru the phone lines.

Ah! The joys of networking!!!

This was amply rewarding in itself. However, the bonus came when Atanu mentioned that another friend of ours from school days – Suranjit was also in town. I think I knew he was in Asansol but I never put two and two together. A few phone calls later, we had Suranjit and his wife at Atanu’s house. Suranjit was, and continues to be an absolute hoot. I think he was one of the first – if not the first – businessman in our group. He is still the same person – looks at you from the top of his glasses, has a booming voice and full of energy and joie de vivre! And since his business is in selling alcohol and liquour, I obviously had a lot of questions around the more common alcohol types and brands here. Unfortunately, not too many people here go for cocktails, as he educated me. Most go for beer or scotch whiskey.

Anyways, the three of us had enough of catching up to do that I canceled the schedule for the rest of the day and we went out for lunch in a nearby restuarant.Β 

I am really really glad that I had made that birthday call earlier this month…

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15 September 2014

Meeting an old friends’ parents

Last time I was in India, I had a chance meeting with an old classmate from nearly thirty years back. I said chance meeting because a completely fortuitous phone call revealed that we were literally a mile or so apart at that point of time. We rearranged our schedules to have lunch together that day. You might remember Sibapriya from an old blog article. Among various other topics that day, we discussed my parents’ health condition and realized that his dad and mom were not keeping well either. And he was going thru the same phase in life that I went thru a couple of years back where I had to push my parents very hard to move out of the house they lived in and get closer to a place where they could get a lot of support. In my case, we moved them close to my sister and in his case, he was trying to move his parents to his house. And he was meeting with as much agreement and cooperation as did I with my parents πŸ™‚

In any case, I had contemplated at that point to visit his parents next time I got a chance. I got half a chance this time and capitalized on it. As I mentioned before, I had gone to my brother-in-law’s house in Kharagpur, after a rather long car ride, to check on my father-in-law’s progress for one last time. After I said good bye, called up Sibapriya in Midnapore – which was about another forty five minutes’ ride away – and arranged to come and see his ailing parents and himself.

Meeting his parents’ in his house was a very powerful moment. For one, sitting with his mom and talking to her reminded me of those early days of childhood where I used to visit my friends’ houses and their parents would welcome us, sit with us and chat with us for long times. Admittedly, a lot of that was about studies – which probably my friends and I wanted to avoid at all cost πŸ™‚ Β His dad, unfortunately, was not in a physical or mental position to hold down a conversation with me.

These days, I have started making a point to visit elderly parents of my friends, relatives etc – just to make sure I get to see them at least one more time before I am robbed of that possibility. Β I am not sure whether it is a generational gap or it is just me. I will assume it is just me, at this point of time. But there is a natural, spontaneous hospitality I find in pretty much all my friends’ parents that I don’t find in myself. I cannot remember when is it that I saw Sibapriya’s mom last, I certainly had not seen Amitesh’s mother ever before (see a previous blog article from a few days back) and I saw my uncle after 27 years (see another blog article from a few days back). There is a level of heart felt caring and openness in these conversations that always makes me feel like I have known them all my life and am meeting them after a month or so. I know I am not capable of that .

Finally, I took a lot of pictures of uncle and aunt. I was so excited to take their pictures and keep them for posterity, that I completely forgot to take Sibapriya’s pictures!!!! I still can’t believe that I walked away without taking any of his pictures!!!

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14 September 2014

The mixologist from Kolkata

India means all about reconnecting and creating more intersection points. Between that and spending time with my ailing dad and mom, the couple of days that I stay everytime go off very fast. Once in a while, I also get to meet completely new strangers and make new friends and hopefully start new arcs of relationships that might intersect much later in life.

Such an opportunity presented itself one evening when I stayed at the ITC Sonar hotel. My brother and I were done with all our meetings and food and had some time to ourselves. We went down to the bar for a couple of drinks before going off to sleep.

Being deeply involved with mixology means you cannot help checking out the inventory at a bar – the different kinds of gins, rums, vodka, liquers, the flavors and so on. It also meant that I could not help showing off some of my knowledge to my brother – which is razor thin to begin with, but I took full advantage of the fact my brother has no idea any of those stuff other than wine and beer πŸ™‚

Made a few new friends there – Mathew and Anjel – both of whom are from the part of the country that my sister actually used to live in. In fact, my sister adopted their daughter from Mother Teresa’s orphanage from Mathew’s hometown!!

Speaking of mixology and making new friends, my new find this trip was Ranjan Roy – the mixologist at the bar. I tested him by asking for two special cocktails – that were not on the menu and I was quite sure not too many customers in this part of the world ever ask for those (which he confirmed later). To my delight, he nailed both the cocktails with perfect ingredients, proportions and timing. I was truly impressed that he knew the different forms of ice to be used in the two drinks. Unfortunately, my dear old brother, with no respect for decorum towards cocktails simply took out the crushed ice from one of the drinks using his spoon – “Boddo thanda hoye jachche”!!! Apparently, he liked the taste, but it was getting too cold for him πŸ™‚

Eventually, I let Ranjan experiment on me. I asked him to suprise me with a good dessert drink. He came up with something himself – he probably should christen it with his own name. But it was actually a mix of a dessert dish and a drink Β (crepes in irish creme carefully caramelized with the heat from Cointreu orange liquer set afire). You can see him in this picture with his pyrotechnics!!!

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14 September 2014

Sweating it out…

In the middle of a sweltering hot morning and oppressive humidity (high nineties), my brother and I asked ourselves during a 5K run – “what might give us some relief?”. Putting our combined infinite wisdom together, we settled down for some tongue-scalding tea from a street side vendor!!

It is true that when extremely dehydrated, the brain seems not to work πŸ™‚

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