Good old friend and colleague from the yesteryears … Mark Abatto!!

It was nearly one and a half years back, I had met Rachel. I remember being very hungry after some office meetings and finding the one place nearby that was still open. Except, their kitchen was closed. But Rachel – who was working at the bar – was able to go inside and arrange for some onion rings and fries. Anand, remember?

I also remember about the advise she had for my daughters – “do not marry early” and her life aspirations about being a psychiatrist.

Last week, during my trip to Wisconsin, found out where she works now and then was able to catch up with her. She remains as energetic and reflective on life as ever. I think her aspiration to be a psychiatrist has worn off a bit – given how much fun she is having in her job now. Which is a pity – in my current job, we hire psychiatrists!!

This time, our topic was discussion was about bringing up kids. And also about her cousin that I found on Facebook (because she left a comment on my previous post) who is married to a Bengali!!! Further, found out that her boy friend is into Honda motorbikes like me!!

It was good seeing you again Rachel !

I had not seen Giselle in about 12 years. In fact, the last time I saw her in her office in HSBC was the only time I had or have ever met her. It was not a very relaxed environment for either of us that day. She was my customer. She had to inform me that I was fired. Well, not personally but the business I ran. That was a tough meeting. Not just because nobody likes losing. It was also my personal pride in our products that was hurt. And that is the irony in business life – we tend to have a parent-like protective pride in products we own – that need not be reflective of market perception.

You would think that is where our relationship would have ended – first and only meeting. Then again, there is a reason my wife calls me quirky. I kept up with her thru emails first – just to enquire how she and her business was doing. Then I was able to gain her confidence enough to share her birthday with me.

That established a time tested way of keeping in touch with her – even if only once a year. For whatever reason, she always had a genuine interest in what was happening to me, my family, my career and all those stupid things I do. A few weeks back, during our annual call, I realized that she was going to be in Chicago for a family event this week.

After wrapping up all meetings on Wednesday, I hightailed it to Chicago downtown. Brimming in confidence that she had nothing to fire me about 🙂

When a meeting goes for double the time that you had agreed to, you can only imagine how much we must have enjoyed our conversations. I learned more about Porsches than I ever probably knew was there to learn. Giselle races Porsches and I was simply in awe of her knowledge of mechanical engineering and how a car engine works. In fact, as she talked about how to get the car to pivot the weight to the front tires and control the rear wheel swing at tight corners, I was having flashbacks of my motorbike riding lessons that I am still learning myself.

But the best part was learning about sailing. For all the interest I have in motor boats, I learnt the physics from her about what makes a sailing boat more stable than a motor boat and why a lake is more dangerous than the ocean for sail boats. Have you ever heard of “square waves”? She might have just piqued enough interest in me that I will put sailing in my bucket list. The most reassuring part was that she can’t swim much and hates getting in the water. That makes two of us. Shubu, you might have to stat giving me some Sailing 101 lessons. Avi, are you listening?

That was an inspiring story. Specially for somebody who got out of Cuba at the age of five and landed in New York. And then had to abandon the city since the cold weather got her into a lot of physical issues. The career track she has built for herself is a fascinating story. She has worked in more states in this country than I have probably visited. And she worked for Edsel Ford Jr !!

I met somebody that lives by what is my target for life mantra – except that she has already reached there – “Be different. Make a difference.”

“So, you saw your birth father for the first time in your life?”, I asked
“Yes”, she replied.
“And he was living near you all this time?”
“Yes!”

It was September 2016 when Julio and I had met Paula at the Blind Horse in Sheboygan. She had made one of the best Sazeracs I had had, I remember. That evening as we got to know her, we found out that she was left by her birth mom when she was a few days old. Her wonderful adoptive parents had raised her. Her (adoptive) parents had adopted a brother for her too – who incidentally is married to an adopted girl from India! That day I had asked her if she had any interest in finding out her lineage and about her birth parents. She let me know quickly that she had no interest. (More about that day here: http://www.rajibroy.com/?p=11717)

About a year later, Julio and I were in Wisconsin for a meeting. We were at a resort by Lake Elkhart and guess who had switched jobs to the bar of that resort? There were two parts of the conversation from that day I still remember. First, she had a second daughter a few months back and I had promised to come back and see the baby some time. And that she was warming up to finding out about her lineage. (More about that day here: http://www.rajibroy.com/?p=14517)

We had kept up thru Facebook and she had kept me apprised of her progress with the project to find her birth parents.

“Paula, start from the beginning. You had approached ancestry.com, right?” I asked her as we settled down for coffee at a coffee place near Milwaukee between my business meetings.
“Yes. They did the full DNA analysis”. She then showed me the report they sent her about the various mix of bloods she has.
“I am basically a human mutt!”, she said laughing!
“That is funny! Then what happened?”

“Much later, I got a call from a lady. She told me that she found me on ancestry.com. And she thought she knew me.”
“Were you excited?”
“I was not sure how I felt. Anyways, she gave me a few details from my first few days. That absolutely matched what the orphanage had told me. She then said that she knew my mom and dad. And that she was my aunt. My birth father’s sister. She then said – let me send you your mom’s high school pictures. You two look exactly the same.”
Saying so, Paula pulled out her mom’s pictures from her phone. I have to admit, they looked remarkable similar.

“Then what?”, I asked.
“Well this lady told me my dad’s name and where he lived.”
“Where does he live?”
“Near Milwaukee”
“That is right here…. “
“Yep!”
“Did you go meet him?”
“Yes, took my daughters there. And we have seen them a few times”.

Apparently, that was how Paula got to know her family from the birth dad side.

“Did your dad tell you anything about your mom?”
“Yes, they were both 15 when my mom had me. Her parents kicked her out of their house when they found out she was pregnant. After my birth, she gave me up at an orphanage and my dad and mom split and went their own ways.”

“Wow! What a story!! Where did the story lead to on your mom’s side?”
“My dad gave me my mom’s name. I searched for her a lot and then found her out in Facebook”.
“You too? You will be amazed how many of my own searches found closure in Facebook. In any case, back to your story…”
“From the pictures in Facebook you can see the similarity to her younger pictures”
“Did you reach out to her?”
“Yes. I messaged her who I was. And that I wanted her to know that I am happy. I am not reaching out for any particular reason.”
“Did she reach back?”
“No. She blocked me.”
“She blocked you????”
“Yes, she blocked me!”

After a few seconds, I asked her “And how did that make you feel?”
“I was okay. I do not know what life she lives. Plus my mom is my real mom.”
It took me a second to realize what she was saying. Then it dawned upon me – she was talking about her adoptive mom. I had completely forgotten about that wonderful lady.

The rest of the time was spent talking about the new job she was going to start soon and playing with her younger daughter. That was an old promise kept – to come and see her daughter.

Thoroughly missed Julio though!!