After saying goodbye to my mother in law, we headed straight to my parents’ place. We have not yet sold the place after they transitioned. Sharmila and Nikita both wanted to visit the place that used to be their home. As the car drove thru the by-now-much-familiar path between Durgapur and Kalyani, it took a final turn at Pannalal Road and the flat (right top corner) became visible. Usually, this is the exact time that I would spot my dad sitting in the balcony waiting for me.

That has surely become a thing of the past. This is the fourth time I am visiting what used to be their home in a year or so. Still have not gotten used to they being not there.

The big things get easy. It is the small things – the only shoe he had that has not been worn ever since, the unfinished incense stick she had lit that evening, the watch that has stopped, the calendar that is still stuck in December 2020, the glasses lying around unused, the half finished soap in the bathroom… they are the ones that torment the most.