16 August 2014

The difficult, we do today. The impossible, will take a little more time.

It was Friday evening. Designated day to go out for a drink with my FIL. There was one problem though. He was barely five days and change into his surgery to fix his broken hip. In those five days, he had already gotten himself to got up and walk with a walker. A walker is not ideal for long distances. No problem. A few Google searches and phone calls later, I was back home with a rented wheelchair.

Over all protestations of my mother in law, very soon, Sharmila and myself were at our favorite Indian bar with the inlaws. We sat outside and had a delightful time. Presently Amitesh, Anusuya, Mrinalda and Seemitadi joined us to make it a perfect octet.

After a wonderful evening together, we came back home. Then I asked my FIL – “Dekhun, gelen boley koto bhalo laaglo” (See, it was a good thing you went. You had such a great time). He had a memorable response. “Bhalo laga? Amar to mon kharap hoye gelo seshe. Eder moton bhaari shundor shundor lok desh-e giye kothay paabo?” (Had a great time? I am feeling really sad now. Where am I going to get such wonderful people – referring to our guests for the evening – when I go back home?)

Like his guests, I am amazed that barely five days after a hip surgery he is out and about and sipping wine with the rest of us sitting outside a bar….

Seems like he truly lives up to what my good friend Larry Mason had advised me once – “The difficult, we do today. The impossible, will take a little more time”!

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11 August 2014

And that wonderful thing called Love.

For about two days, my mother in law has been a mere spectator as events overtook her. Her husband fell down, broke his hip, got operated on, recovered and came back home. All she did was rely on us to give updates (in fact, she did not even realize about the surgery till it was done).

You could see that she felt helpless to help her husband, but she knew that he was being helped by people who could help him better than her. So, she would try to be helpful to them, if she could. Even when we came home, my father in law did not retire with her in their room; instead came out and drank with me. Finally, he was tired enough that he agreed to use the walker to shuffle to his bedroom and sleep.

My mother in law first made sure that I finished my lunch (Sharmila was out doing all the weekday stuff you do with the kids) and then quietly retired to her room. Of course, her next love is Zee Bangla – or whatever popular Bengali TV shows are on – on any steaming website.

I was trying to spend time to myself and then when I had to go inside the house to refill my drink, I went to check on my father in law. And I glimpsed this picture from a distance on their headboard mirror. My father in law – sound asleep. And my mother in law close to him as if protecting him from everybody else in this foreign country while watching her favorite Indian channel on her iPad resting against my father in law.

Realizing the essential privacy of the moment, I anyways went ahead and captured it on my phone. And waited to get a minute with my mother in law later and asked if it was okay for me to make the picture public. Else, I was going to delete it. She was a little amused by my question. She was like “Why would I want privacy if I kept the door open?”. And I was like “I don’t know. This country is all about privacy … Or something like that “.

In any case, that was an intense moment of togetherness, I thought. She finally got him to herself after his terrible fall. And she did not want to disturb him. Just be with him without anybody else… I retraced my path quietly and sat down with my next drink..

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11 August 2014

The epitome of zest for life that is my father in law…

He completed 50 yards – that is the distance from our barbecue to his bedroom in 40 hours!!! Of course that route took a detour through the emergency room and the operating theater in our nearest hospital!!!

So, this is how the story has unfolded so far. The pictures go row by row chronologically…

On Saturday, at about 8PM, my father in law went to the barbecue to get some corn done. He saw a King snake inside, tried to back out and in the process tripped over his own shoe. Fell down and just could not move. A few minutes later, the fire engine and ambulance showed up. The first picture shows the EMS folks putting him in the ambulance.

The second picture shows him in the Emergency room. Went thru all sorts of CAT scans and XRays and by 10PM, it was concluded that he did not hit his head but he did break his hip. He took the news stoically and asked that my mother in law be not told of this till they had finished operating on him.

The nurse came and said “Your dad is very strong. For a guy who has broken a hip, he sustained the pain of turning to take a X-Ray better than anybody I have seen in my life”. I merely pointed out that he really is not my dad, instead, my father in law.

The next picture shows him waiting to go into the Operating Room at 8 AM next morning. That was the couple of hours I did not get to see him. The next time I saw him, which is the next picture, is when he was back in the hospital room, resting.

As the next picture shows, he had regained consciousness by 12 noon and was already eating food and eager to get back on his feet. The doctor admired his mental strength but asked him to take it easy for a day. Well, he did get a physiotherapist come and see him who was willing to let him try standing up – which he did and then he shuffled his legs to move forward too. The physiotherapist later told me that he had never seen anybody bounce back this quickly after a hip surgery at the age of 80!

Totally pleased with himself, he started reading local newspapers as you see in the next picture and asked me not to stay in the hospital that night. The next morning, early as a lark, I showed up with his Indian tea that Sharmila had made for him and the first thing he wanted to know was when could he try walking!!!

As the next couple of pictures show, within 24 hours of a hip surgery, he convinced the hospital staff to let him walk with a walker and also climb up the stairs today. The lady helping him climb up the stairs, simply told me “I am glad. But he scares me!!”

The next picture shows him at about 10AM, he is all dressed up and ready to go home. The surgeon came and plainly confided, “I can’t believe I am doing this … but your father in law is good to go home”. The hospitalitist (yes, there is such a person), concurred.

I am going to spare you all the details of struggling to walk or get up in a car with one hip bone surgically operated upon and inserted with a titanium rod a six inch screw a few hours back,… but let me tell you, once he came home, he certainly did not shuffle to his bed. He dragged himself straight to the kitchen porch (see last picture), sat down with his walker and walking cane on his side, took one sip of the ice wine he loves, grinned from ear to ear and said “We have to find out how the snake got into the barbecue in the first place”.

And as I clinked my glass of Meiomi Pinot Noir against his glass of ice wine, I could not help realize the difference between my dad who has lost total zest for life and my father in law – a clear five years elder, 80 year old – who picked up his life exactly where he left it 40 hours and a broken hip bone before.

There is little doubt that I will fall down in my life many many times like he has…. That is not the point…. The point is….

I just want to get up like he did….

Every….Single….Time…

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6 August 2014

Crossing paths the third time….

The customer meeting in Austin had just gotten over. My sales team, happy with the proceedings, dropped me in my hotel. It was getting close to noon. And I had a long drive to Houston. To catch a flight to Cincinnati. Then drive to Lexington. Yes, I trust my driving more than those small planes with multiple hops when it comes to certainty of reaching my destination.

The margin of error was going to be small. I had the prospect of accidents on 290 or simply get blinded by sharp thunder showers. As luck would have it, both happened on my way. Fortunately, I am writing this from my flight to Cincinnati.

But before I left Austin, I had a chance to catch up on another intersection point from the past. For exactly 25 minutes. I was aware that Srinivas Palamarthy was nearby and a few calls and text messages later, we found ourselves at Annie’s bar and cafe. I always thought that our paths crossed in i2 only. Today I found out how wrong I have been.

Not sure why this never came up in any previous conversations (we worked in the same group for some time and I have talked to him before multiple times), but I realized today that he and I are from the same engineering college. Separated by only two years. And he lived in the hostel/dorm adjacent to mine!! I had many friends there and often visited that hostel/dorm! He recognized all of my friends and gave me some updates too!!

So this is the third intersection with him. College, working together and a chance meeting in the city he lives in now.

Srini, as we were prone to calling him, has remained the same. Physically, emotionally and intellectually. Looking at him, he does not seem to have aged even one day from the last time I saw him in 2003. He is also the same humble guy that can put you at ease from the moment you run into him. He has this unbelievable way of making you really feel good about yourself. I was certainly very proud of how his career has progressed and how he is crucial to RetailMeNot’s vision and plans. Good to see humble people like him succeed in this world.

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5 August 2014

Keep Austin Weird. Keep Yourself Quirky.

That was the message Shruthi and Hank had written on the back of the nice gift they had for me this evening. As always, it was a delightful evening with this great young couple. Shruthi’s dad and I have worked together virtually in every company I have worked in. Having seen Shruthi ever since she was a few days world to now when she is a working lady living her own independent life, it is almost impossible to believe how fast time can fly by.

Their message for me was a reference to, of course Austin’s reputation of keeping itself “weird” as well as Sharmila calling me “quirky”. Speaking of Sharmila, Hank and she has a common background – both are or have studied Architecture in Texas (UT and UTA).

It was simply great to see them again. It has been many a moon since I stepped my foot in Austin last. Could not have gotten a better welcome!!

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4 August 2014

Sometimes intersection points come to my hometown!!

Remember how one evening, while spending a few idle hours with my inlaws in our backyard, I realized that Bidisha is a relative of mine? Bidisha being the person that we got to know regarding a nanny and while my family has met her, I have never met her. Of course, since she is my new found relative, I had figured that I would meet her next time I was in Dallas.

Last night, after 1:30 am (I am sure too much drinking was involved 🙂 ) I got a message from Amitesh that her husband was in our town. He (Amitesh) was able to get the three of us together for lunch on my way to the airport.

That was a great hour. He is a SMU professor. Most of the discussions were around the fallacy of prediction methods – from biases in selecting independent variables to faulty assumptions in correlation methods to the almost impossible problem of finding discontinuous functions mathematically (unfortunately, real life does not work in a smooth curve). It was a very intellectually stimulating discussion. The yellow curry at Thai Spice was not bad either!!

Now I have two more books to read, thanks to Neil Bhattacharya!!

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2 August 2014

Wish every weekend evening was like this..

Another hectic week. Another weekend. If I had my way, every weekend would be like this. Sitting outside with all the necessary ingredients – Sharmila, her parents, Pinot Noir, the citronella lamps, the camera and iPhone to capture the moments and songs from the iPhone. As you can see from the last picture , everybody listened to songs well into the night….

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25 July 2014

Intersection points: How a Merc trumped a Civic

Another intersection point with a great friend and colleague from the past. After the day long meetings last Wednesday, I grabbed my rental car and drove to the spot Stefanie and I had agreed to meet. If you are ever in the Milwaukee area, do not forget to have a drink or dinner at Seven Seas in Hartland. It is a beautiful restaurant set up in a very rural setting on Lake Nagawicka!

But the real excitement was in meeting Stefanie after 12 years. It was fascinating following her journeys from Germany to Dallas (where we worked together) to Seattle and now Wisconsin in a place called Oconomowoc as she moved every time her son in law and daughter moved just so that she could stay close to her granddaughters.

It was a delightful evening listening to her stories – and she had some really funny ones – and getting caught up on our old friends from the yesteryears. We used to sit in cubicles next to each other and we certainly remembered a lot of the funny events that had happened around us!!! There was that false anthrax scare at office!!! Apart from work, she was also a big part of my personal life. She was the person who was there with me in the hospital when we almost lost Sharmila to a miscarriage and was absolutely the most helpful person ever.

The funniest incident that we recalled involved a customer. As a background, Stefanie had a great, impressive looking dark green Mercedes SEL 500. And I was driving my much-battered Honda Civic (which eventually died on the road). In a conference room, myself and my team were engaged with a prospect and as the meeting started getting late, I was simultaneously sensing that we were going to get the deal. As the meeting slipped further, I let the prospect know that we had canceled his cab and I would personally drop him. That would give him some more time and also give me an opportunity to deal with him one on one if he wanted to go over some of the negotiation points.

And then it struck me that taking him in my beat up Civic might not give him all the right signals. I called up Stefanie and asked her if she would mind pulling her car up so I could drop the prospect. Stefanie, being Stefanie, immediately jumped on it and in a few minutes pulled her car up in front of the office door where I and the prospect were waiting with the rest of the team who had come down to say Bye.

As I drove off to the airport, I started chatting up the prospect and we started getting to know each other and our families. And as I pulled into the airport, he made an interesting comment – “If you don’t mind, may I say something?”. “Of course”, I said. “I am really impressed with your stature in your company and how fast you have reached there. I do not think I have ever seen any executive’s admin pull up his car from the parking spot before.” And I was like “Oh! Boy! This is going to be interesting”.

Finally, as I dropped him off, I blurted out .. “Well, Steve, I have something to say too”… and then explained the whole situation. We had a great laugh standing next to the drop off point. Turned out he was not much into cars either.

We got the deal the next day. I took Stefanie out for dinner that day to say Thank You. And this Wednesday was the next time I had dinner with her!!

I hope to run into Stefanie again down the road…

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