10 October 2014

What? They did not give me the Nobel Peace prize this year either?

Man, I have never started a war. I always keep quiet when my wife yells at me. I even voted Yes in the recent “Do you want world peace” referendum. What does one have to do to bag the Nobel Peace prize? Start wars on a couple of countries like Iraq and Syria? What? Somebody beat me to that too?

I think I am going to try something different next year. When nobody is looking, I am going to swiftly change aim and go for the Nobel prize for Chemistry. I have no idea what those funny looking symbols in my daughter’s chemistry books mean but hey! I can mix drinks. That should count for something, right?

Well, till then, let me tell you about a really cool place I found in Portland which is particularly appropriate to visit when you realize that once again you do not have any Nobel Prize in your salient life achievements. Called Whiskey Library (in Portland), it is one of the largest bar for bourbon, whiskey, single malt etc etc that I have ever seen. I was totally impressed by their inventory.

If you get a chance ever, do not forget to visit that place. Please do invite me for your celebrations there in case you win the Nobel prize. Unless you get it for Economics. In which case, I am staying home. Those tweed jackets kick up my allergens!!! Plus I am really upset with the economists for not returning my money after they messed up with the economy last time.

🙂

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Category: Humor, Travelogs | LEAVE A COMMENT
10 October 2014

Friends Bar None …

A really long week. Have not felt this drained on a Friday morning in some time. Now on a coast to coast flight back…

Of course, this week’s travels had its own upsides… Meeting old friends that I had not seen in a long time as well as making new ones. And finding weird and funny road signs, restroom doors and so on 🙂

Speaking of new friends, one of the best places to make friends is at the hotel bar. But most of the time, instead of making friends with people in the bar, I somehow make friends with the bartender. It almost always starts by exchanging notes on interesting cocktails. And I always pick up a few more new recipes every time…

This week, I learnt a few from Joel Yacoby. He was at the Den in Portland. It was absolutely delightful spending time with this hard working young gentleman.

Learnt a very interesting drink from him – what he calls “Fiery Balls”!! And in the discussion of the “weirdest vodkas we have ever seen”, my bottle of Sriracha vodka (yes, there is a thing) won 🙂

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Category: Intersection Points | 2 Comments on Friends Bar None …
9 October 2014

Wait a minute!!!

So I am running down from the 10th floor to the 8th floor of an office building in Portland. It would be faster than waiting for the elevator. Or, so I thought. What really happened was that half way thru the stairwell, I noticed this restroom!! And I stopped. And I stared for a long time. At the restroom. In the stairwell!! Men’s restroom!! How many times have you seen a men’s restroom in the stairwell?

It had a handicapped sign!!! A HANDICAPPED SIGN!! Who, in their right minds, and in a wheelchair, is climbing up and down the stairs to a handicapped accessible restroom???? And that too, only for men???

This is too confusing for me!!

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Category: Travelogs | 19 Comments on Wait a minute!!!
8 October 2014

Puzzle time!!!

Found this interesting problem. See if you can solve this…
Four tanks going in a line on a very narrow bridge encounter four friendly tanks in a line coming from the other side. Unfortunately, they see each other only when there is exactly one tank worth of distance between the two leading tanks from either side. And there is no space on the bridge to go around each other.

Now here is a problem – None of the tanks can reverse. However, a tank can climb over another tank as long as there is space for the tank to land on the bridge after climbing over a tank. A tank cannot climb over more than one tank at a time. (meaning it has to come down to the bridge after climbing one tank). Also no tank can take the weight of more one one tank on top of it. (meaning you cannot have three tanks on top of each other).

How can the two sets of four tanks sort out the problem and eventually proceed their own way?

Category: Puzzles | 5 Comments on Puzzle time!!!
6 October 2014

“Raising” awareness for blindness

CBS and NBC reported yesterday that use of Viagra can cause temporary or even permanent blindness. http://www.nbcnews.com/id/8004291/ns/health-mens_health/t/blindness-noted-men-using-impotence-drugs/

I was like – Wait a minute. Isn’t that how it works anyways? I thought he pops in a blue pill, loses eyesight, now no more cares how she looks like and the inevitable follows. That is not how it works? 🙂

I feel really sorry for the octogenarians and nonagenarians who had been taking low dosage of Viagra just to stop peeing in their shoes – now they will have no ability to decide which way to shoot. Remember those Haunted Mansion rides in Disneyland? You wait for an hour for a two minute ride in complete darkness? Yeah, they are going to rename that after Viagra now:-)

Evidently this was first reported from Improve Comedy clubs countrywide where small time comedians took Viagra to become “stand up” comedians and soon after getting onto the stage, reported many people yelling from their right side “We are here”!!! 🙂

I personally feel the solution could be as simple as making an eye ointment out of Viagra. That should make everybody look hard 🙂

Category: Humor | 16 Comments on “Raising” awareness for blindness
5 October 2014

Nikispeak this morning

At the breakfast table, somehow the discussions got started around what Natasha was thinking about her choices of college. We know she wants to follow her heart into journalism and mass communication. I mentioned that a friend of mine had suggested that all kids should think of a second option to follow simultaneously because you learn a lot about yourself as you progress through college life.

Natasha: “Yeah! I am thinking of keeping Business as a major too”

Me: “That is a good idea. The good thing about Business is that it helps you in whatever profession you get into later – engineering, medical, journalism, movie making… whatever”.

And that is when Nikita piped up “What if Didi grows up to be a plumber? Or a street performer? I don’t see how a Business degree can help”.

Uproarious laughter and a little food fight between the sisters later, we left the table 🙂

Category: Humor, My Family | LEAVE A COMMENT