16 July 2014

The Divided States of America

Evidently, this November, California will be voting on whether to divide itself into six states. And one of those new states will be called Silicon Valley! Reading this, of course, I had one of those “Whiskey Tango Foxtrot” moments. Did I totally miss some news like US was occupying California for fourteen years and now the military is going to withdraw or something? πŸ™‚

I think all states should vote whether they should split up then. Here are some that I can think of. Why don’t you add your own?

1. The state of Oklahoma is divided east-west and are called “Not OK” and “Absolutely Not OK” πŸ™‚
2. The state of Alabama similarly will be divided north-south and called “People’s Republic of Redneckistan” and “Overgrown Lawn of Redneckistan” πŸ™‚
3. Florida should be divided into three states by latitudes running thru Lake Okeechobee and Ft. Myers. They will be simply called “Eighty and above”, “Ninety and above” and “Hundred and above” πŸ™‚
4. The alternate-lifestyle friendly state of Maryland similarly can be carved up into two states. The new state can be called Johnland. The remaining can still be called Maryland πŸ™‚
5. Alaska will be divided into the monarchy states of Alaska (ruled by Sarah Palin) and Alaskim (ruled by John McCain)
6. New Jersey will be divided into two states – “New India” and “Three
White Guys”
7. Texas, being Texas, has to be different. I am sure it will vote to stay as a single state although it will go with a more appropriate name like “North Mexico” or something… πŸ˜‰

You want to fill in for the other 42 states?