Signed off 2017 running calendar with a 5K run (3 miles) near Kolkata Maidan with my brother. Like the last couple of years, reaching the annual running goal was made special by ensuring that I reached it while running with my brother.
This year’s goal was to complete 100 miles (160Km) every single month of the year.
I was half expecting this.
My dad, trying to fight back his brains getting scrambled after the stroke, had a hard jolt trying to understand what happened to Natasha’s hair. Tasha, had dyed her hair blonde some time back. Over the last few months as the hair has grown, her strands are natural dark (from the root side) and then after about half length starts becoming blonde.
My dad’s relatively low exposure of dyeing hair entirely comprises of making the hair look dark again (from grey) but never from dark to any thing else.
As you see in the picture, he held her hair in his fingers for quite some time trying to investigate what was going on. He asked quite a few questions – much to Tasha’s merriment – and then gave up trying to understand it!!
Usually, at least in our house, the iPhone is a constant source of irritation when it comes to interpersonal interactions. “Get your nose off the screen”, “Keep your phone down while eating”, “Stop posting those unflattering pictures of mine” 🙂 are part of the day to day vernacular when the four of us are around.
That same mighty piece of electronics has been a hero, bar none, to my parents, the last couple of days.
Natasha has kept up with her word to be with the grandparents. Every day, in Kalyani, she has been quietly sitting around my dad or mom. When everybody else is around, she has been watching all the interactions and when others leave, she has been trying to interact with my parents.
The big challenge is of course, language. As was famously said before, her grandparents and she has been separated by a common language. They speak their own versions of English. If my parents speak at a struggled pace, Natasha’s speeds thru sentences like there is not going to be a tomorrow.
But I have to say, I was superbly impressed how she and the grandparents persisted thru their communication challenges. The lowest common denominator has been the iPhone. My dad has always been a biggest fan of Natasha’s written English. He makes me bring her newspaper publications every time. But he has never understood what an online newspaper is. Once, he came dangerously close to concluding that the newspaper man delivers a computer to every home each morning in America!
Unknowingly though, he experienced it yesterday. Trying to figure out how to keep him engaged, Natasha had an idea! She took her iPhone out, weaved thru the slow speed data connections in Kalyani and made him read some of her online publications. Then she held the phone up for him patiently, as he read each line!
At that point, to give them some time, I left the room. When I came back, Natasha was holding court with her grandmom. My mother is not into written articles. From what I could overhear, Natasha was taking her thru all the pictures in her phone and introducing all her friends!
“This is Avery”, she was explaining.
“O Eta aay-bh-aari”, my mom acknowledged butchering the name’s pronunciation.
“Yes”, Natasha accepted.
I left the room again! The girl has truly grown up!!
The iPhone, unwittingly, was the great uniter yesterday!
The big surprise we got when we walked into my dad’s house is how much he has improved. If you recollect from my pictures from end of October, he was in a pretty bad shape. He could not stay up in his bed without being surrounded by supporting pillows and two attendants. It used to take two of us just to get him off his bed into his wheelchair.
In under sixty days, he has willed himself into almost the impossible. During my daily calls with mom, she did not accurately convey how much he has improved. Apparently, he has been preparing for this day when he was going to be surrounded by all five of his grandkids!
A few weeks back, he could not even realize that his paralyzed right arm had gotten entangled under his body. Today, he tried playing ball with his grandkids. It took all his might to get the arm up (notice the grimace on his face) but lift it he did and even did a fair job of throwing it out of spitting distance.
The greatest surprise was he getting up from the bed while holding on to the walker (needed a little help here) and then taking baby steps all by himself. He labored for about ten minutes but did eventually make it to the other room and sat down there.
That green cap on his head? There are always risks of trying out something new. A few days back, he was so impatient with his progress that he tried to get up and walk by himself without any help (mom and attendant were both sleeping). Promptly fell down and banged his head. Very very thankfully, he got away with a few stitches only. It could have been far worse.
As a last point, during my previous trip, I had written about the pains the caretaker (in this case my mom) has to take when a family member becomes incapacitated . Notice in the picture where he is taking baby steps how she is half a step behind him with a chair in hand absolutely ready in case he falls down again!!!
“Dad, I want to go see dadu (my dad)”, Natasha told us back in October when I was headed to see my dad in India after his brain stroke and paralysis. That was an uncommon request. Both the girls used to like India for all the cute cows and puppies on the street and the lovely cousins but never quite got comfortable with the dirt and traffic and pollution (relative to where they live, that is). Plus they usually got sick trying to adjust to the local food and water.
After coming back from seeing dad, Sharmila and I started frantically looking for four tickets to India during the highest traffic season. About three days later, we found something that would work for us. But not before we had a brainwave. If we were going to spend all that money for all of us to go to the other side of the world, why not take advantage of the fact that I am off work and Tasha is going to get busier and busier with her college and internship – and make a full adventure of it?
So, here we are. After five and a half years, together as a family headed to India. From there, we are going to see two more countries – Indonesia (Bali) and Thailand (Bangkok). Then, we will go back to India again to visit my dad (we have noticed that he likes that I come often rather than for a longer period necessarily). And then back home!!
The adventure got a rather early push with the airlines messing up my seat and two of our suitcases which we are not sure is actually going to make it along with us. That said, they were all understaffed on Christmas day and they did get my original seat back. Just to be safe, I am packing up all the freebies they are giving in the flight 🙂 🙂
Like every trip, this trip has its goals too. But instead of who I get to see, this time it is all about what moments I can create for the two daughters. I want them to spend time with my parents, Sharmila’s parents but most importantly, I want them to spend time with their cousins. In the past, it used to be a sheer delight watching the kids – separated by language, customs and age – somehow overcome all those barriers and play together. They had their own way of communicating with each other.
I would also like to take them around and show some of the old spots for Sharmila and myself. I hope that they will remember in years after today some of the history Sharmila and I shared. I know today, I wish I knew more about my own dad and mom’s history.
Finally, and this is a special one for Natasha – she will get to see her old college room mate in Bangkok!!
Intersection points… here we come. With the suitcases or without!!!
A lot of things were accomplished this trip – the top two missions were to be with dad and mom and also try to meet some old teachers. Could not meet many – actually any – of my old classmates, friends from neighborhood and all that. Although, did get “bhaiphnota” after three and a half decades from my sister.
Finally, it was time to do something just for myself.
After alighting at Frankfurt airport, went to the biggest Duty Free shop and got hold of one of those helpful young gentleman from the store. They had a huge wine and liquor section.
I am nothing if not a bunch of quixotic passions put together. Since gin is my major area of focus this year on the cocktails front (and looking at my inventory, it is promising to go well into next year), I asked him if he could show me some German gin. He got me a bottle of Monkey 47. But I have already gone thru that. He had none other.
Changed my tack – showed him the list of 11 countries that I have gins from.
“If you can get me gins from any country other than these 11, I will buy them”.
We settled for Norway and Japan!!
What can I say? Apparently, I have more “research” in front of me 🙂
