12 September 2014

Bovine wisdom

“I really don’t care. Order something”. That was my lackadaisical response to my brother’s query “What do you want to eat?” as we started settling down at our table at Pan Asian restaurant at ITC Sonar hotel. And therefore, that is what he did. The usual Bengali favorites of hakka noodles, fried rice, manchurian gobi and so on. I was more focused on spending time with him than what I was going to eat that evening.

Something curious happened in the next couple of minutes. Just as the waiter had started walking away, my brother called him back “Ektu salad diye jaaben?” (“Can you get us some salad?”). Very proud of my brother that he was eating his vegetables – and obviously caught in a location context warp as I realized later, I commended him for eating leaves and vegetables. Ever concerned of his health, I enquired about whether he was focusing on the proper dressing too (stay away from the creamy ones, you know).

He stared at me blankly. “Maaney?” (“What are you talking about?”). It took me a couple of seconds to recognize what had happened. You see, in India, “salad” really means a plate of condiments – usually comprising of sliced cucumbers, onions and tomatoes and sometimes carrots and even green chillies with salt sprinkled all over. The sophisticated places might even give you beet-salt.

Chuckling inside, I told him that he should try and eat green vegetables too.
“Knacha ghaas paata khabo?”, he asked indignantly. (“You want me to eat raw leaves and grass?”). I replied in the affirmative explaining how our digestive systems cannot digest cellulose and therefore those leaves are great as fiber for roughage and bowel movements. Other than the obvious source of vitamins.

Thoroughly unimpressed, he dismissed me saying “Amader deshe ogulo goru-tey khay”. (“Here in India, cows eat such stuff”).

“The health benefits of leaves and vegetable salads are well documented”, I persisted.

He gave it some consideration and then burst my balloon. “Toder deshe-r kota goru-r khub bhalo figure?”. (“How many cows in your country are proud of their figures?”).

I gave up and started digging into the salted cucumber and tomato slices that had arrived at our table. Ooh! They were very tasty πŸ™‚

12 September 2014

Every morning in Kalyani is a hysteresis curve for me

What the 6km run in 90%+ humidity and 90 degrees Fahrenheit giveth,
The Luchi-aloor-dum-begun-bhaja-aloo-bhaja-makhamaara-sondesh breakfast promptly taketh away.

If it is not deeply fried or dripping in sugar, we don’t serve it for breakfast at our house πŸ™‚

The real irony? My dad thinks I should save my knees and stop running. This, from somebody who has had a heart attack and suffers from sugar and kidney issues!!!

10 September 2014

“Jiski rachna itni sundar”

While I have great admiration for all the Bengalis in Atlanta, in due admission of their higher intelligence level, I have to believe that it is a one sided admiration. Certainly, it speaks to their sense of discretion at least.

That said, there is a mutual admiration society between myself and one particular person from the aforementioned Bengali community in Atlanta. The reasons I marvel at Amitesh – that being his name – is his ability to listen actively (not exactly my strength), great sense of priorities in life (I still struggle at that) and his ability to “commit” himself – be it tennis, work or finer aspects of life like wine πŸ™‚

In my eight years in Atlanta, I have learnt a lot from him. But I have always been intrigued by one question… to quote a couple of memorable lines from Jesu Das “Jiski rachna itni sundar, Woh kitna sundar hoga”… (“if he is such great a person, I wonder how great his Creator must be”).

I am intrigued no more. I walked into his mom’s home in Salt Lake in Kolkata this evening. And proceeded to have an enchanted evening with a eighty seven year old!!! I was absolutely stunned by how well informed her points of views were. Later I learned how well educated and learned she is.

Found out she was in University of Tennessee and Atlanta (where I live) to study way back in 1960. To put it in perspective, it took seven more years for me to be simply come to this world.

I had one of the best evenings today. I am still amazed by the perspectives of this eighty seven year old lady…

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10 September 2014

Eighty four year old youngster

Every time I come to see my dad, I try to see if I can make some time to visit one more of my mom’s siblings (she has quite a few). Usually, all I have is some vague names of the villages and nearby localities, my GPS map on iPhone and a few phone numbers. So far, that has been enough to track down relatives that I had not seen for a long time.

This time, I ventured out to find my mom’s eldest sister. It was a relatively easy search since my brother had a pretty good idea where they lived. As I walked into their house in a small place 60 km off Kolkata, completely unannounced, they had absolutely no idea how to react to a shaved head, shorts-wearing, sunglass wielding middle aged man barging into their home πŸ™‚

I am really really glad I went there though. I would have missed out on a great conversation with my uncle (my mom’s sister’s husband – you can see him in the picture). 84 years of age, he is an absolute antithesis to my 75 year old dad (who is suffering physically and emotionally has lost all urge to live). The gentleman sat straight, had no visible fat and was free from any issues like sugar, pressure, arthritis, cholesterol … you name it.

And mentally? As I struggled to remember (and I am someone who remembers past events vividly) when had I met him last, he let me know that it was in May 1987 when he had shown up at our house with the wedding invitation for his only son and I happened to be visiting home from my college that day. Wow! That was 27 years back and he could recall conversations from that day with no effort.

I was obviously curious about how he has managed to keep himself this sharp at this age – which is an absolute rarity in India – certainly non-existent in my family. So, I asked him what are the three things (yeah! me and my three things) he would ask me to focus on at this age to stay healthy and happy. His thoughtful advice – after mulling it over for a few minutes:

1. Try doing physical exercise and yoga everyday. He does not take any medicine – allopathy, homeopathy, ayurvedic whatever – other than in extreme cases. Instead he does Yoga everyday for sustained periods of time to keep his body healthy.

2. Control the amount of food you intake. He does not believe that there any kinds of food to be avoided and any kinds of food to focus on. He despises the marketing fads. He believes the human body is too complex to be described in a few rules of logic. It can deal with a ton load of variations as long as it is not overstressed. So, the only thing he avoids is eating too much. At this age, he eats every kind of food offered – he just consciously controls the amount.

3. Never lose control of time: At this point, my aunt was rolling her eyes. Evidently, he has a reputation of being a strict disciplinarian of time. He gets up at the same time, spends time consciously during the day on as many different variety of activities he can and then eats and sleeps at the same time. He hates people who are habitually late. Did I mention my aunt was rolling her eyes πŸ™‚

Although I had asked him for three, he threw in one free – “Visit as many new places as you can”. He took me thru a few albums of pictures from amazing number of places he has visited – I did not know about 90% of those places. He said he did not either till he reached there in most of the cases!!!

I was totally inspired by him. If I can be of his constitution and mental faculty when I am 84, I will be ahead of the game.

Coming out, I made a mental note to spend a little more time with him in my future visits….

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9 September 2014

This is the difference between a kid and a grandkid…

So, when I ask my parents to pose for a picture, they put up their stiff grim faces on. Today I taught my niece (their grand daughter, my sister’s daughter) how to operate the camera in my phone and asked her to go take some pictures of my parents.

She had them eating out of her hands. Look at the picture. My dad has not a clue what he is doing but he is trying his best to copy the V sign his granddaughter taught him to flash when she took a picture of them!!! πŸ™‚

And if I had tried that? “Dekh-ge ja”, he would have said. πŸ™‚

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9 September 2014

The best part of my trips to be with my dad…

The best part is undoubtedly sitting with dad early in the morning in the patio watching the dawn unfold with the birds waking up … Absolutely with no spoken words between us except pouring tea for each other.

The second best is sitting in the evening with my siblings and brother in law with some cocktails made by yours truly. The photographer here is my niece and she had strict instructions on what our poses needed to be πŸ™‚

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8 September 2014

This part of our Antakshari brought to you by Absolut Citron :-)

Made a couple of cocktails at my sister’s home today. Before long, the sum total of singing talent (or lack thereof) of my brother-in-law, brother and myself were brought to the fore by an engaging three hour Antakshari (it is a duel of songs where you have to start a song with the same letter as the last letter of the previous singer’s song’s first stanza).

We would have continued with the rampage had it not been time for me to jump onto office calls with US…

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7 September 2014

You can spot a Bengali from as far as you can throw a “rosomalai”

Nothing can shrink my inlaws further in their airplane seats than the prospect of having to talk to the stewards and stewardesses regarding what would they want for their meal. My father in law, at least, puts up a spirited fight. Often, therefore, landing with stuff he had no idea that he had ordered. But he is a good sport – and he will try out a little of everything. My mother in law, on the other hand, pointedly refuses to deal with any of these stewards or stewardesses with anything but head shakes. Which, for any foreigner can be very confusing. Indians are famous for their head shakes. And my mother in law is famous for not getting to eat much in flights. Once in a while, she will recognize something that she knows – e.g. Tea and would order it with great anticipation. And then spit it out after the first sip – because she was expecting tea done exactly the Bengali way. “Era cha-tao bhalo banatey jaanena” (“these folks don’t know how to make a simple cup of tea!”)

A stewardess came and asked them after the meal – “Some digestives?”. Not exactly the way I would have put it, but the packets in her tray clearly showed the picture of aniseed. The next two minutes was a sight. Both of them, totally flabbergasted, looked at the lady, at each other and then across the aisle, towards me. Not in a hurry to finish the fun, I just kept smiling back. Eventually, my father in law said “one” indicating he would try some. And as the lady moved on, I mentioned “Mouri chhilo” (“That was aniseed”) (a very common after meal mouth freshener cum digestive in India). Let me put it this way, my mother in law made me call the lady back so that she could grab a few packets!!!

This being the state of affairs, you can only imagine their reaction when they found out that the last course of meal in their last meal in the last segment of flight (Dubai to Kolkata) was “rosomalai” (a delectable Bengali dessert). The entire inner Bengaliness of their last four month existence outside Bengal was channeled – vigorously, I might add – on that one course!! In the picture, you can see them devouring those hapless plates of rosomalai as if “dhorey praan elo”. Those rosomalais vanished in front of my eyes faster than I could say “Aar ektu mouri neben?” (“Want some more aniseed?”). πŸ™‚

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3 September 2014

Meeting my namesake. Certainly the smarter version!!

In all the weariness of last week’s travels, I forgot to reflect on and tell you folks about meeting a very very old friend of mine. I saw him after thirty years!!!

My namesake – although he spells it “Rajeev” – and I went to school together for our eleventh and twelfth grades (high school junior and senior years). I remember him as an exceptionally bright person. He was very strong in math and statistics. I used to marvel at how he cracked the permutation and combination problems. And another thing I remember him for was his handwriting. He had a great handwriting – very consistent and clean – but the font size was geared towards letting people read from hundred yards or so away πŸ™‚ (We had a great laugh remembering that). And I also remember visiting his parents in Asansol for a few hours. I distinctly remember his mom’s energy level and kindness.

During last week’s “breakfast in DC – lunch in Milwaukee – dinner in Tampa” whirlwind meetings crisscrossing the country, I was able to get my old buddy Rajeev Ranjan Bhattacharya and myself together for an hour or so in DC – where he has moved in a couple of months back. I could have picked him up from a crowd very easily. Nothing has changed in him. He looks exactly the same. He has got all the hair intact on his head. Probably quietened down a little. But still has those insightful comments that I had gotten used to from him thirty years back.

It was great to catch up on his family, his career in Australia and US and some of our old friends. The most sad part was realizing that I will not get a chance to meet his mom again.

I do wish I had a paper and pen with me. I wanted to see if his handwriting has remained the same!!

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29 August 2014

Cheers!!

After a tough week on the road, after I came back today, I got a chance to take my inlaws and Sharmila out. The best news of the day was that my father-in-law, who is a lot more reassured of himself when I am around rather than when he is surrounded by four ladies in the house (his words, not mine :-)) gained enough confidence to give up on his wheelchair and walker and managed to go around with just a walking stick!!

My mother in law was so happy to see this improvement that she finally gave in to my pleadings to have a drink with us. Well, she kind of overachieved by having two drinks!!! Wait till all her relatives back in India hear about this πŸ™‚

You can see my in-laws here going for bottoms up!! By the way, that Gandhian haircut my father in law is sporting now? You can thank yours truly for that. Although, I think Sharmila has thrown my old clippers after that hair cutting episode. I can’t seem to find them anywhere anymore. Not that I have any real use for them myself πŸ™‚

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