29 October 2019

Evening “adda”

This trip was a total hushed hushed one. Nobody in India was aware. My sister went out of town for a day with her family (completely oblivious of the fact that I was landing up on “Bhaiphonta” day!!). She will be arriving this morning in a couple of hours to get the surprise of her life!!

Meanwhile, last evening, it was just the three of us. After a long time, it was just the three of us in the evening. First I took care of the important stuff – walked up to the street corner “phoochkawala” and had my share of “phoochkas”. For the uninitiated, that is stomach infection in a package form eaten as one of the tastiest Indian savories ever!

Then I went ahead and got a small vodka bottle. Got a second one too just in case my dad wanted to try it. Fortunately he didi not. He was just happy that I was drinking fruit juice in the evening. (Yes, he thought I was drinking fruit juice from a small bottle. That be my dad. )

The evening was one long tapestry of discussions of our life events from the time he lost his dad at the age of two and a half and then lost two other siblings quickly to this day where the three of us were sitting down – temporarily missing my two siblings.

I can’t remember everything (you will be surprised how much punch they pack in a 6 ounce vodka bottle in this little town) but we talked about the “easy chair”(kind of a cross between a chaise and a hammock) we had back in the seventies and how we used to count stars in the sky sitting in it outside our house. We talked about the time my brother was born (who, in keeping with family tradition, we almost lost very early on due to health complications). We talked about the time when my dad used to visit his mother every month (we lived about 60 miles away – but those days, it would take him about five hours to reach her in a remote village). On that last note – I do not believe the apple fell too far from the tree.

When we finally wrapped up – partly because he was tired and partly because my vodka bottle was running dry – I knew the discussions were a great success. You know why?

For a guy who complains half a dozen times daily “Bhogoban je kobey release certificate ta soi korbey” (“I wonder when is God going to sign my release certificate” – implying he is happy to move on from this world) – for that guy, he got up from the chair, stood for a second standing there and then finally turned to mom and asked “Naati naatni gulo manush hobey dekhey jetey paarbo?”. (He asked my mom if she thought he will live to see his grandkids establish themselves in their lives).

And I was like “Yesss!! I know how you can live longer. Want some fruit juice?” 🙂

29 October 2019

A few good men

Dad and I kept strolling thru the streets. We hit the common spots he and his friends used to sit down at when he could still walk around by himself. Except that no one was there in those street corners. Finally, after about 30 minutes of walking we found a park and some of his old friends there. He got a run down of the old group. Apparently, many of his friends are no more and these three that still have locomotory skills have moved to this spot which is more convenient for them. You can see my dad holding court from his wheel chair.

7 August 2019

Have you ever heard about the “Bop Bop” dance?

Most days, my 8AM call to my mom in India can be best described as a “scripted” conversation. She usually stays with the same set of topics. First would be the weather report – “Bhalo” means Good. Also means “It was sunny as heck; the clothes dried out very quickly on the clothesline”. “Baajey” means Bad. Which means “It rained today and I could not dry out the clothes properly”. An extreme case of “Baajey” would be “Bichchiri”. You and I refer to it as the “monsoons”.

She would then move on to complaining about my dad, updating about my sister and niece and mentioning about any phone conversations she might have had in the previous 24 hours with her siblings. That would be followed by she enquiring what my brother had said the previous day. Because, my 8:10AM call is always with my brother.

And then again, once in a while I dig my heels in and pick something she might have mentioned and just go down a few rabbit holes to make some memorable moments. There is a hilarious one about a “West Mall” (actually Qwest Mall), but I will talk about that later. Today it is about the “Bop Bop” dance.

A few days back, my mom informed me that my niece had started taking “Western Dance” classes. Most days I would just muse about the deep irony in my sister sending her daughter in India to Western Dance classes and my wife sending our daughters in America to Indian Classical dance classes and leave it at that. This particular day, I was feeling extra charitable and decided to just mess around with my mom.

“What is a Western Dance?”, I innocently asked her.
From the hemming and hawing on the other end of the line, you would be well advised to deduce that the question had completely taken the wind out of all the pride she had for her niece learning Western dance. She tried a few times to construct sentences and rolled them back. Finally this is what she came up with…

Aarey.. oi je.. haath pa chhore… abar komor dolai…
So, if you were to believe her, Western dances mean you desultorily flail your hands and legs about. And gyrate around your hips.

Barely able to control my laughter, I asked her if that was not true for most dances. Don’t ask me what kind of a question that was. I just needed to keep her busy while I hit the mute button to finish off my laughter.

Abar dekhbi bhishon laafalaafi korey. Puro body heliye day. Maajhey maajhey hotat dnariye jaay

That was too much even for me. I just could not help laughing out into the phone. She was trying to explain to me that in Western dances they jump about too much (I assume as compared to Indian dances). They tilt over their entire bodies. And then she mentioned apparently Western dancers come to abrupt stops in the middle of their dances!!

I do not have the faintest idea where she has seen any Western dances or what she was trying to describe. But just the visualization of what my mom thinks is a Western dance was too hilarious.

Perhaps the laughter touched her to the quick. And jolted her memory. She excitedly told me “Mon-e porechhe. O Bop Bop dance shikchhe”. (“I remember now! She is learning Bop Bop dancing”).

That did not help. I had to confess to her that I do not have the faintest idea about Western dancing and would not know what Bop Bop dancing is. Except that the name does align with a lot of “laafalaafi” (jumping around).

Anyways, after finishing up the call, I called up my sister…

Meye-takey phone ta de to” (I brushed her aside and told her I needed to talk to her daughter)

“What did you tell your grandmother? What dance are you learning?”, I asked.

“Why? Hip Hop”, she replied, confused.

Well, guess who was NOT confused any more? “Ah! Bop Bop! Now I get it” 🙂 🙂 🙂

My simple mom! I tell you!!!

I gotta go see her again! I will be sure to carry a video of a Bop Bop dance for her from America!

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1 June 2019

The goodbyes…

They never get easier. The only silver lining is that my mother and mother-in-law can still come out to wave me away. My father-in-law, on the other hand, is no more and my father cannot come downstairs to say his goodbyes…

Felt really sorry for mom missing out on the resort trip. She is the one who enjoys going out but is stuck at home due to care-taking responsibilities for my dad.