18 October 2021

There is a reason why we did not talk about the days when we worked together

Anand (Iyer) was visiting Atlanta from Portland. So, five more of us from Atlanta got together with him for drinks.

We have all worked together in our past in one or the other company. Guess why did not talk much about the past?

Because we could not decide which company to talk about!! Turns out we have dragged each other along wherever we have gone.

To wit, I have worked with Karthik in 2 different companies (and once in different companies but owned by the same PE firm). Anand and i have worked together in 3 different companies! Madhav and Karthik have worked together in 2 different companies! Vijay has worked in one company with Anand and me and yet another company with Karthik!! Anand (Srinivasa) has worked with all of us but Vijay once.

And I am no sure we are quite done!!

That was a great evening!!

17 October 2021

Of pandas, start ups and famous actors!

“So, what are you doing in Atlanta?”, I asked the Martins as we walked from Avalon to Alpharetta downtown on the Alpha Loop.
“We came to see you!”, said Steve.
“Me?”
“And the pandas!”
“What??”

Turns out Steve and Carolyn travel whenever they can now that they are empty nesters. Before that though Steve worked in Apple. Not coding and all that. That he did when I got to meet him on my first day at a startup called i2. He had shown me all the fan mail he used to get (meant for the actor Steve Martin). After leaving i2, he went to work for Apple at their retail stores. Doing what he liked doing the most… teaching customers one on one how to use the various applications.

You might remember from a story from June of 2017 how a picture he posted on Facebook made me realize that we were in the same airport at that instant and I ran to meet him for a minute just before he had to jump into the plane. I missed Carolyn that time since she had already stepped in. They were on their way to New York that time.

Another crazy coincidence with Steve that also includes Facebook happened the following year. I was on a business trip and had posted a picture from Natick, MA. Steve saw that and let me know that he was born there. On a whim, I found out the address of his birthplace, went to that house, introduced myself and took pictures of the house and sent it to Steve’s mom!! You can read the whole story here. (I found out from Steve this time that we both lost our moms literally two days apart last year).

Going back to the pandas… apparently, the Martins love pandas (who does not?) and they have made it a point to go visit all the pandas in the USA. Turns out only a few zoos have Pandas and Atlanta was the last one on their list!!

And thanks to the Martins, we got a taste of what empty nesting might look like for us. We walked from Avalon to Alpharetta downtown, bounced around three bars, had some interesting drinks (one included smoke and fire) and finally settled down for a nice dinner. And then walked back to Avalon!!

Thank you Steve and Carolyn for keeping Sharmila and me in your minds during your Atlanta visit. We got to do this again soon!!

10 October 2021

The biggest minimalist move ever for us

If there was ever an admission that we are “over the hill”, this has to be it. The last 30 years of our married life, the key word has been “expansion” – our family size increased from 2 to 3 to 4 to 5 (the last one came with four legs), our living spaces went from a 1000 sq ft apartment to 3500 sq ft house to 5500 sq ft house. Our lot sizes went from 0 (apartment) to 1/6 of an acre to 5 acres.

And now, we are staring down the day in less than 10 months when Nikita will leave for college and we will officially enter the “empty nester” zone. Sharmila and I have been thinking hard and long on how we should re-prioritize our lives once it is just the two of us. You know – with no early morning repeated alarm clocks ringing to wake every one of us up but the owner of the alarm clock OR last minute realization that something has to be bought from the store in the next few minutes OR no staying up late by her bed so she can finish up preparing for her test next day…

We realize that it is going to be hard not to have any of the children around. But we also realize that we may not have each other around for too long either. Both of us are way beyond the average life expectancy of somebody born in India in our respective birth years.

We think we want to minimize on maintenance to save time. We also want to be able to travel at the drop of a hat. And finally, we want to just walk to coffee shops, restaurants and bars so as to make as many friends as we can since our two best friends won’t be around us.

With that in mind – and mind you, this makes no financial sense – at the peak of house prices, we have bought ourselves a small house in Alpharetta downtown. It is less than half the size of our current house and we go straight from 5 acres to enough space for the dog to get his job done in the morning. Even that might be tight for him!!

Contraction – in business or life – is not an easy thing. We are going to give ourselves some time to make the move. There is a lot of stuff that we have to get rid of. It will be hard. But I am hoping that will bring the two of us closer since it will force us to decide what is important to us and what is not. Ideally, we would want to give up all the stuff like furniture etc and start it all over again.

Just like an expectant mother’s final contractions are incredibly painful and yet gives rise to the most beautiful thing – called a new life – so too, I expect our downsizing to be painful but hopefully a new life will emerge for both of us.

This picture was taken just as we had our final walkthru before closing. Our youngest friends – Mrinalda and Seemitadi – were there to witness our baby steps to the transition.

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2 October 2021

A great soul, she was

With some apprehension, I called up Jayita. I was not expecting the phone to be picked up. But it was.
“Jayita?”
‘Who is this?”. That was a male voice. I assumed that was her husband.
“My name is Rajib. Rajib Roy”
“Jayita’s doctor friend Rajib?’
“No. I am calling from America. We are friends from Durgapur”.

****

In fact, I distinctly remember the day I met Jayita for the first time in Durgapur. I was entering my classmate Shukla’s house – B2/75, if I recollect correctly. A girl was heading out of her house at the same time. We met on the path from the gate to Shukla’s house past the perfectly manicured rose beds that was the hallmark of Shukla’s dad’s efforts.

“Rajib, this is Bani. Bani, this is Rajib”, introduced our common friend.
“What is your full name?”
“Jayita”
“Ah!”

Yes, even in those days, I had a penchant to call people by their formal names.

Jayita and I probably chatted for about fifteen minutes before she headed out and I went in to Shukla’s house. That was December 1983.

****

“Jayita, na?” (Are you not Jayita?) I asked the person who I thought I recognized as the same person I had met over a year back. The same Shukla and my best friend of those days – Avijit – had brought me as a guest to their college (Bidhan – as most Durgapur folks will know) for their Saraswati Puja celebrations.

That was the second time I met Jayita. We probably talked for no more than ten minutes that day. That was February 1985.


****

“Dingulo tor mon-e porey?” (Do you remember those two days?) I asked Jayita.
“Ekdom na”. (Absolutely not), she candidly replied.
This was 2017 April. A good 32 years after she had seen me last.

Even this meeting was because of a common friend. I was visiting Pune to meet my classroom teacher from tenth grade. While there, I knocked on the door of somebody that was my batch mate (Lalita) but I had met her only once – that too, back in 1980!! But her husband and I had other connections!! (his classmate was my private tutor!!)

If you had seen Jayita and us (this included Lalita and Manbir) interacting that day – you could be forgiven for thinking that we have been seeing each other every day of our lives. You might remember some of that from this post.

Her vivacity, her ability to keep everybody engaged was simply marvelous. I remember the whole day thinking – “Man! I should have kept up with her all these years”.

She clearly had a gift for empathy and an uncanny prowess to relate to any human being on a one on one level.

Every year thereafter, the birthday call to her became an exercise in truly appreciating what a great human being she embodied in herself.

****

Coming back to the phone call that I was talking about…

“Sunechho to?” he asked if I had heard everything – as I continued talking to the male voice.
“I am afraid I have”.
This was the first time I talked to her husband Bhaskar-da. And the net out of his message was Jayita was fighting a losing battle to cancer.

After a long chat – Bhaskar-da was justifiably frustrated, angry and helpless – he concluded “We are now counting hours or may be days”.

For the life of me, I still have no recollection of how I ended that conversation.

****

Two days later, I have been informed by our common friend Madhumolli that I can quit counting.

****

Life. I tell you.
The regret is not why people move on. I accept that.
The regret is why am I chasing so many meaningless things in life instead of the people that meant something to me at some point in my life.

Rest in peace, Jayita. Your vivacity will remain a beacon for me for the rest of my life.

Till we meet again…

****

25 September 2021

Ending with a surprise

Before I could draw the curtains on this Texas trip, had to spring a surprise on somebody.

At about six in the evening, called up Willie Weng. With whom I had fought in the trenches one too many software-does-not-as-advertised battle.

“Willie, is it not your birthday today?”

“Yes, man! You never forget”

“Happy Birthday!”

“Thank you!”

“What’s happening special on your birthday?”

“Nothing really”

“Going out for dinner in the evening?”

“No. we are eating at home.”

“So, not going out anywhere in the evening?”

“No”

“Okay. Then meet me at the Windmills at Greatscape at 8:15 PM. Let’s celebrate your birthday.”

“Wait. What? Are you in Dallas?”

“I am!!”

“I will be there!!”

And like that, I got to spend Willie’s birthday with him. In fact, we tried to nail down when we had celebrated his birthday together last. “Definitely not after 2006” is what we came up with.

As always, it is always refreshing to hear from the straight shooter Willie. He is a bit older than me but he looks aalmost exactly like he used to twenty years back!!!

That meeting with Willie was like signing off with a “paraph” to this great trip back to Texas!!

25 September 2021

The cool couple from Dallas

At least they were those days when we were there. Met Subhasis and Debjani after quite a few years – 7? 8? It used to be that we would sit at the bars in Grapevine downtown over a couple of glasses of wine as the Dallas intent heat would wilt into the evening.

Today, we went to the Windmills at Greatscape. (This is owned by the same folks who own Windmills in Bangalore that I have had the chance to visit twice before). This whole area has completely changed in the last few years. Does not look like The Colony that Sharmila once had a business in long time back!

It was great catching up with the “Bandos”, as we called them – what with all the hypothetical questions from Debjani and she drinking two drinks for the first time (she insisted). You can even see her raising both the glasses in the picture that cool bartender Josh took for us!